Imperfectly Real (A Series of Imperfections) (23 page)

I huffed in annoyance. I knew damn well that my mother had made the same choice in staying with my father. I think there had been a time when they were head over heels for each other. I still think they
loved
each other, they just weren’t
in
love. But it became apparent early on in my childhood that they couldn’t be around each other. I was convinced that the stress and strain that came with remaining in such a tumultuous relationship had been a contributing factor in my Dad’s death.

“Are
you
going to foot my bills?” she asked, annoyed.

I rolled my eyes. I refused to let a woman control how I spent my money again—no matter how much I
thought
I loved her. I’d made that mistake once before and Cheyenne had sucked my savings dry. Lesson learned.

My silence answered her.

“That’s what I thought.” She turned on her heels and walked away from me. She stopped once she was across the road and whispered over her shoulder at me. “I’m sorry, Tyler.”

I wanted to be pissed at her, but she was right. I knew Mrs. Sloan, and she would have a conniption if Elizabeth left Mason—especially for someone like me. If I could somehow get to Mr. Sloan and explain things to him. If he knew the truth he’d never let his wife control his daughters the way she did. She had successfully pulled the wool over his eyes for years, but if his girls couldn’t stand up for themselves, maybe I could …

I propped myself back against the tree and watched as Emma ran across the street to me, her wedding dress wadded up in her hands. The guilt overtook me, and suddenly I wanted to run away.

“Em, I’m sorry I’ve fucked everything up …”

“Stop,” she commanded as she gave me a hug. “You listen to me, and you listen good, Tyler Johnston.
Nothing
could ruin today for me. I’m not mad. Really. Nothing could spoil this day. Not even your knucklehead.” She paused and smiled. “But I wish you’d told me, or Shane. We could have tried to help you. You shouldn’t have had to deal with this all on your own.”

Little did she know that her husband did know. He just wasn’t much help—surprise, surprise. I spat blood onto the ground. “I want you to know that I really love her.”

She sighed. “Obviously you do or you wouldn’t be risking everything for her. I just hope she’s worth it.” She shook her head, a pained look on her face.

“You don’t know her like I do. She’s a good girl, she’s still in there somewhere … I know it. Something happened to her, Em. I’m not sure what, but I know it. Somehow she lost her way. Maybe we left her at the wrong time, but I’m not about to give up on her. She still needs me, and, this time, I wont leave her alone.”

Her back was cold, the metal of the truck sent shivers down her spine.

It was the first thought she had—how sick was that? More worried about being cold than the precarious situation she was in.

Her skin crawled as his skin pressed against her. He tasted like liquor and tobacco. She wanted to puke, but she didn’t.

Deep breaths.

Breathe in, breathe out. Just keep breathing.

“You’re such a little hoity-toity bitch,” he groaned as he unbuttoned his pants and forced himself into her.

It hurt.

A tear slid down her face.

“You better tell those fuckers that this was their fault. They should have minded their own goddamn business.”

The realization hits. This wasn’t about her. And it didn’t take a genius to know that knowing this would destroy Emma and the boys.

Tyler. Oh my God, Tyler. He was too good. Too kind. He would never forgive himself for this.

He bit her neck.

Another tear fell from her cheek.

She could hear people laughing down below in the pit. The party continued while she lost her innocence.

And then it was over … just as fast as it had started.

He pulled away from her, a devilish grin spreading across his face. The emotional floodgates opened, and a sob escaped her throat. She slid down the side of the truck, her skin squeaking as though protesting her sudden weakness.

He spat on her before turning and walking away, leaving her to her own devices. She sat in silence for what seemed like hours before picking herself up from the ground.

This was her defining moment, but this would not make her weak. She was not ruined. She’d deal with this alone. She was strong and could go on to have a great life … just as long as no one ever found out. This was her secret.

I walked toward Mrs. Sloan on a mission. The liquid courage, combined with my fury, meant I didn’t give a damn that we were at a wedding, and I didn’t think twice about the possibility of causing another scene. Elizabeth’s words stuck with me—it was Mrs. Sloan’s fault that she felt like she couldn’t chase her dreams. The woman had beaten her down long enough.

I stood behind her at the bar, and before I could think or mince my words, “You’re a bitch!” came from my mouth.

Gasps from the women around her filled the room and people turned to stare. I heard my own mother hiss my name from the other side of the bar where she had been perched all night. My blood boiled more, since I was sure her and Mrs. Sloan had spent the entire night looking down their nose at Ms. Strout.
Idiots.

Finally gaining her composure, Mrs. Sloan turned her body towards me and spoke, “
Excuse me
?” she asked, giving me a second chance to choose my words more wisely.

I didn’t seize her opportunity. “I
said
, you’re a bitch.”

“Well I never—” She was obviously gearing up to give me a verbal lashing, but I interjected before I lost my nerve.

“You’ve messed up your daughters so bad and you don’t even realize it do you?” I paused and chuckled, “Or maybe you do. Maybe that was your plan all along, to make them just as miserable as you are!”

She stared at me. Shocked beyond belief, she seemed at a loss for words.
There was a first time for everything.

I was silently celebrating my victory when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Still on edge from the punches I’d received earlier, I spun around, ready for a fight. Instead, I found myself face to face with Mr. Sloan, who looked more than a little displeased with me. I immediately felt guilty.

“Tyler, son,” he spoke to me in a manner much calmer than I deserved, “I think you’ve had a bit too much to drink.”

“I … umm …” I struggled to form a coherent thought, knowing I’d let him down. He’d been the closest thing to a father I’d had after my Dad died.

“Why don’t you and I go have a little talk outside?” Mr. Sloan bent down to give his wife a kiss before he led me out of the room by the elbow.

Once outside, the cool fresh summer air refreshed me. The peepers were making noise and I was reminded of how peaceful Maine summers truly were. I sat down on the front steps and Mr. Sloan followed my lead.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on here, son? You come inside with a busted up face and call my wife a bitch … that’s not the Tyler I know.” he questioned hopefully. I wanted to tell him everything, but I just didn’t know where to start.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Sloan,” I murmured. “I know I’ve let you down sir.”

“Ah, that’s bullshit and you know it. You meant every word you just said to my wife. I know you well enough to know that you’re not afraid to speak you mind, Tyler. I just want to know
why
you said what you said, because you obviously believe it.”

I took a deep breath. I needed to come clean. Mr. Sloan needed to know the truth—he’d had the wool pulled over his eyes for long enough. “Well, sir, knowing your girls like I do I think you should understand how much they’re both controlled by your wife. I watched Emma spend years trying to please her, while Liz found the need to
become
her.”

Mr. Sloan responded with a humph. “Well, I guess I never really thought of it like that. I know my wife likes to maintain a certain image and such … but I never really thought it was affecting my girls.”

Seeing my moment I spoke quietly. “Sir, I think Liz needs help.”

Mr. Sloan looked at me, concerned and confused. “What do you mean, son?”

“Well not
that
kind of help … more like aid … or maybe that kind of help? I don’t know, Mr. Sloan. I mean … well … what I’m trying to say is—”

He cut me off. “Spit it out, boy.”

“All right. Yes, sir. Well … you see … I’m in love your daughter.”

His wide eyes locked with mine. “Liz?”

I nodded. “I think I always have. I mean I know I loved protecting her when we were kids, but now I think there was so much more to it than that. When she came to see Emma this past fall, and I saw how broken she was, I wanted to fix her. I needed to see her smile again, but her spark is gone, sir, and I’m not sure how to help her.”

“I’ve always known she didn’t love Mason. I could tell by watching her with him … she always seemed to be forcing it. I’ve got to admit though, Tyler, I can try and help her the best I can, but my relationship with Liz fell to the wayside when she got to high school. She’s always been closer to her mother.”

I sighed. I knew that just as well as he did. Emma had been the one to have the stronger relationship with her dad. “So I’m not sure that I’m the best person to help her. She’s got to want to help herself first.”

“But she can’t. She’s scared. She’s afraid of taking chances because of your wife, sir. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. She’s afraid she won’t be able to make it on her own.”

Realization swept across his face and I knew he finally understood. But in my quest for his understanding, I wondered what problems I may have just caused for the nicest man I knew. He stood from the step next to me and buttoned his suit jacket while looking down on me. “Don’t you worry, son. I’ll take care of that. Liz has my support, 100%, in whatever way she wants.”

I watched him walk away, hoping that things would figure themselves out because I was exhausted. I sat alone on the front steps while guests made their way to the parking lot. The reception was over, and I felt guilty knowing that I’d missed a lot of enjoyment because I’d been so wrapped up in the drama of my life. And for what? I had nothing to show for it besides a busted face and a bruised ego.

I rubbed my face with my hands and I attempted to gather my thoughts before I got up to drag my sorry ass back to my room.

“You hate me don’t you?”

I looked up to see Elizabeth standing in front of me, looking sadder than usual.

“I want to,” I admitted, “but for some goddamn reason I can’t stop myself from loving you.”

She forced a smile as she sat on the step next to me.

“Should you be here? With me?” I asked her as I looked around. Considering all that had gone down earlier, I was sure her husband wouldn’t appreciate her being alone with me and I didn’t really feel like getting pounded on again.

“Mason knows I came to find you,” she spoke very calmly. How she was so calm was beyond me.

“He does?” I questioned with amazement. “And he’s okay with that?”

“Mason was the one who told me to come talk to you. We both came clean. We got things off our chests, and I told him some things tonight, things I should have spoken of long before now. Things that will help people understand the terrible decisions I’ve made … and why I am the way I am.”

A lump formed in my throat. Was I one of her terrible decisions?

She took a deep breath before continuing. “Tyler, I need you to understand that I truly love you. I always have. You were the best surrogate big brother I could have ever asked for. You kept me safe … but then you left.”

I started to argue with her, over what I don’t know. We were back to me leaving her, as a kid. It was irrelevant, and a lame ass excuse for her behavior. “My leaving has nothing to do with this …”

“Let me finish,” she demanded. “When you guys left, you left me with your legacy so to speak.”