Imperfectly Real (A Series of Imperfections) (19 page)

I sighed.

Her eyes dilated as I stepped in front of her, like she was having trouble focusing. “Tyler? What are you doing home?” She stood and faltered a bit, but steadied herself by placing her hand on the custom sea-glass countertop she’d just
had
to have.

She gripped the side of the counter top until her knuckles were white.

“Sorry, Ma. I would have called but it was a spur of the moment thing.” I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around her. I couldn’t help but notice that she seemed thinner than the last time I’d seen her. Talon needed to do a better job of reminding her to eat. “I’ve missed you guys.”

“It’s so good to see my boy.” She leaned back and placed my hands on my cheeks as she admired me. I knew what she was thinking when she looked at me, and it made me uncomfortable. I hated that I was a constant reminder of her lost love. She’d be mixing another drink in 3, 2 …

Her hands dropped and she went back to her spot at the bar. “Can I offer you a drink, Ty?” she hiccupped, grabbing the bottle from next to her.

“No, Ma, I’m all set.” I grabbed the neck of said bottle and stared at her, our hands clenched tightly. “And I think you’ve had enough for the both of us, don’t you?”

She rolled her eyes and surrendered the bottle without much of a fight.

“Where’s Talon?” I asked. He should have been home at this hour.

“Oh, he hasn’t come home from work yet. He’s picked up a second job at the restaurant. The tips are good. I expect him anytime now,” she slurred. “He’s such a good boy, Tyler. He takes care of me.”

I poured the remainder of the booze in the bottle down the sink drain. “Well, somebody has to.”

I heard her sniff behind me, and I knew I was in for it now. “Exactly. Talon takes care of me because you and your father don’t!”

It was the go-to drunk dig. She really needed to come up with something better. “He’s dead, Ma …”

“Well, what’s your excuse?” she hissed through her teeth.

“Seriously, Ma, I’ve been gone for over ten years, you need to get over it. Stop being such a drunk and start being a parent because I could use one!” I stopped to take a breath while making my way to the stairs. I was so done with this day. “And I’m sure Talon could probably use you too. He’s been on his own longer than me.”

I made my way to my old room, kicked off my shoes, and within minutes exhaustion had won and I was dead to the world.

I looked around the study, wondering why I was down here. I could have sworn that I’d gone to bed. My eyes finally rested upon my father, perched behind his mahogany desk. “Dad?” I asked, astounded beyond belief. I knew I was dreaming at this point, but it seemed so real.

He motioned towards one of the two chairs that rested in front of him. “Son, take a seat.”

I felt like a kid, and in a sense I probably was since I hadn’t been around my father in years. He’d died on my birthday—happy birthday to me, huh? “Am I in trouble?”

“No. You like the Sloan girls though, don’t ya?” He smiled as he pulled out a cigar from his desk and lit it. I cringed—even in death he couldn’t give the damn things up. Lung cancer was a nasty bitch.

Defensive, I immediately stammered. “They’re fun and I like being around them, that’s all.”

He laughed, one of his deep belly laughs before finally saying, “Take the last one on the left.”

I woke with a start, my mind hazy and confused. My dreams had been hella cryptic lately, but seriously—what … the … fuck?

I hopped up from my bed, and optimism flooded through me as I saw the sun shining. It was a new day, and I was more alert and prepared to deal with my mom. Hopefully she hadn’t already been into the sauce. Maybe, just maybe, I’d given her a smidgen of a wake up call. But as I came down the stairs I was more disheartened than I could possibly imagine when I saw her morning Mimosa propped in front of her. I liked my booze as much as the next, but seriously, my mother took it to a whole new level.

“Morning, Tyler,” she chirped, adjusting the tie on her robe.

“Morning, Ma.” My head motioned towards the glass in front of her. “I see you were able to replenish your stock.”

“I know you think I’m a terrible person, Tyler, but I’ll have you know that this is just orange juice.” Not believing her, I grabbed the glass from the counter and sniffed. She was telling the truth and I was shocked.

“I know I’ve let you and Talon down, and that breaks my heart … truly, it does. But with your father gone … it was just too hard for me … it still is. I loved that man more than life itself.” She paused and sighed. “I know you don’t understand what I mean when I say that, but I pray that someday you will find love like I did, because it is only then that you truly become alive.”

I stared at my mother in absolute disbelief. I couldn’t remember the last time I had heard her speak so much, so sober. I knew she was telling the truth—she’d adored my father—but I still wasn’t sure if those feelings were for him, or his bank account. The jury was still out on that one.

“I know you think I don’t know you … but I do. You’re my son, and I can tell that something isn’t right. You never just show up here. I don’t know what’s going on with you, Tyler, and you don’t have to tell me, but I have some advice that your father always gave me when times got tough.” She hesitated and looked to me for reassurance to go on.

“I’ll take anything I can get at this point, Ma.” I pleaded, defeated beyond belief.

“Whenever I was upset your father would wrap his arms around me and whisper ‘When nothing goes right, go left’.”

I rolled my eyes in an attempt to downplay the serious case of goose bumps I had just received. “Way to be cryptic, Ma.” I turned to the fridge to look for something to eat. I wasn’t about to admit that I had just had a dream where my father said something very similar to me. That would be giving her credit, and she didn’t deserve it. Not since it was the first piece of advice she’d given me in the past five or six years.

“You might not think it’s great advice, but the next time you’re in a bind you’ll think of what I said and it will suddenly all make sense to you. Just watch.”

I stared into the fridge, not really looking by that point when I heard footsteps approaching. “It’s true.”

I turned to see my brother grab an apple from the fruit basket next to Mom. I looked him up and down, and saw that he’d finally caught up with me in size, but our similarities stopped there. Talon was the good kid—always going out of his way to please Ma. I loved him. Sure, he was an ass-kisser, but he didn’t know any other way. He’d never left home and I doubt he ever would. He took a bite from his apple and smiled, “Hey, Ty.”

I nodded. “Talon. How goes it?”

“Same old, same old …” he said between chews. “You know how it is. What brings you to Podunk? In the middle of the week?”

I could tell Talon was suspicious, and rightfully so since he knows how much I dislike being in Maine. I threw my arm around his shoulder and pulled him into a headlock. “I just missed your precious face, baby brother.”

Talon immediately started fighting back, but despite his size matching mine, his strength wasn’t even close. Podunk didn’t have a gym.
Points for me.

I pulled him closer and ruffled his hair. He continued to fight and finally broke free of me. His arms pounded against my chest as he quickly pushed me a step back. “Dammit, Tyler!”

Mom stood up and smiled—obviously she was having a proud mama moment watching us beat on one another. “I’ll leave you boys to catch up. I’ve got to get ready to head to town.”

Talon watched Mom leave the kitchen and head up the stairs. Once she was out of sight he directed his attention back to me. “So, what’s the real reason you’re here?”

“None of your business,” I muttered.

Talon huffed and continued to chew his apple casually. “So, I saw Christy Smith the other day. Said she ran into you in New York last week.”

My stomach flip-flopped. She wouldn’t have said something. Would she? “Yeah? And?”

Talon laughed. “You’re messing around with her aren’t you?” Relieved, air escaped from my lungs. “Does Shane know?” he continued prodding for information.

I started to laugh.

“You’re a dick, Tyler.”

“What makes you think I’m dumb enough to mess around with—” I stopped myself. I was dumb enough to mess around with a married woman, so technically I was probably dumb enough to mess around with my best friend’s ex. “Never mind. But I’m not messing around with Christy, and I don’t have to explain myself to you. Now let’s do something useful and let’s go fishing.”

Talon called into work to take the day off. Then he and I made our way to the pond behind our house. I’d taken him there every Sunday when we were growing up, until I left him behind—just like Elizabeth—only, he’d been even younger. I was feeling like I had let everyone down by moving to New York. I’d put too much pressure on Talon to take care of Mom, and that wasn’t fair.

“Jesus, it’s cold.” I shivered as we sat down on the rocks next to the pond.

Talon laughed. “You’re in Maine, Bub, it’s like a whole other climate zone.”

He was right, I forgot how cold and miserable early spring in Maine was. ‘Mainiacs’ were lucky to get two solid months of nice weather during July and August. The rest of the year was one of three types—cold, colder, and coldest. It sucked, and you always forgot how bad it sucked until you left and came back … while it was cold.

We started putting worms onto our hooks in silence. I could tell that Talon was trying to get a read on me, meticulously laying out his plan of attack in his head. Talon was the smart one, and I knew he wouldn’t give up until he knew why I’d come home.

“So, are you going to tell me the real reason you’re here?” he sighed, casting his line out. His eyes never broke focus from his red and white bobber.

I quickly followed suit and sent my line out just a bit further than his—I couldn’t let my baby brother show me up. “Not a chance in hell.”

“Coward,” he teased.

“I’m perfectly content being the lion,” I smirked. “So, what’s new with you, brother?” I asked, hoping to change the subject. It worked for a while as he told me about his job at the high school. Talon had just started teaching Phys. Ed at our old high school this past fall. He found it hilarious that he was now working with some of the same teachers that had taught him. He had inside information on what they were really like now, and needless to say it was shocking.

“Mrs. Gray is a legit alcoholic, Ty. I swear the woman comes in every day with a new drunken story. Most of them are pretty funny, but seriously, the woman has got a problem.”

I chuckled picturing prim and proper Mrs. Gray as a drunk. She had been a great English teacher, and it made me wonder the real reason why she’d been so entertaining during class. “I loved her class,” I added, thinking back to the times that Em, Shane, and I did a killer project on Othello. We had acted it out and everything. We owned that shit. Obviously.

“I did too,” Talon responded. “The only thing that sucked was that I had her with Elizabeth Sloan. . .ugh.”

I stiffened at the mention of Elizabeth’s name, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was onto me. Maybe this was a test? Talon was that smart, I was sure of it.

“Sorry, dude, I know she’s your bestie’s sister and all but that girl was annoy-ing. I don’t hate a lot of people, but I hated her. In fact ,I still do. Even when I see her now, I see her for the true piece of gold-digging shit she is …”

“You don’t even know her, Talon,” I argued.

“Oh, but I do, Ty. I watched Elizabeth Sloan prance around that school like a queen bee. She hopped from guy to guy faster than the rumor mill could keep up. She made girls cry, hell, I even think she made Mrs. Gray sob a time or two. She was, and probably still is, the most toxic woman I know. How she and Emma are even related is beyond me!”

Listening to Talon talk about Elizabeth made me wonder. What had made her so different than Em? When we’d left for New York she’d been okay, and she seemed okay to me now … but what was going on within her? Her problems couldn’t just be that we had all left her behind. Besides if that was the case, she could have easily followed us once she graduated, or could she have? Maybe now Elizabeth was realizing that she had missed out on the life she wanted … and that was where I came in.

Talon and I spent the rest of the morning fishing without incidence. I kept checking my cell, hoping that maybe she would call. I wanted her to choose me, but it would seem she was making her choices abundantly clear.

I’d given Elizabeth all the information she needed to make her decision and apparently her choice was made. I said goodbye to Talon and left before Mom could dig her claws into me any further.

I’d like to say that I made the drive back to New York without constantly checking my cell for messages, but that would have been a lie. She was in my head, and it drove me mad. She had a hold on me unlike any other woman I’d ever been with. It would appear that Elizabeth Sloan was my greatest fuck up yet.