Imperfectly Real (A Series of Imperfections) (20 page)

2 months later …

I hadn’t heard from Elizabeth since my last trip to Maine, but I refused to reach out to her until she figured out what she wanted from life. At this point I honestly didn’t care if her choice included me, I just wanted her to be happy. I’d obviously pushed her too hard and I was paying the price for it.

But the wedding week was finally upon us. In other words, and things were about to get interesting. In fact, I believed shit was about to get real.

The four of us—and Felix—were busy making last minute preparations before our flight in the morning. We had five days of Maine summer ahead of us and I didn’t know what to expect. Anything could happen, but I was going to do my best to keep my drama at bay. Em and Shane didn’t need me fuckin’ things up for them—they deserved a stress free celebration.

We were headed to stay at Emma’s family camp on the lake for a few days, before making our way to the inn where she and Shane would tie the knot.

Her family owned three side-by-side camps on a lake hidden in amongst blueberry barrens. We’d grown up spending most of our summer days up there, and I was anxious to get back on a Jet Ski. It had been ages since I’d been able to enjoy water sports.

“Make sure you bring your swim trunks!” Shane called down the hall to Rob and I. We had big plans to tube, Jet Ski, and canoe, and it would be a drag to be stuck in East Bumfuck without the appropriate attire.

I was busy throwing some last minute items into my suitcase when Emma suddenly appeared and threw herself onto my bed, right on top of the clothes strewn about. I glared in her direction while she innocently smiled up at me. Eventually I shook my head and went back to packing, ignoring her. Emma hated packing, and she was obviously bored.

“Psst,” she whispered. “Is it bad that I just want this thing to be over with?”

I chuckled at her inappropriateness. “That
thing
is your wedding, Em.”

Obviously exasperated, she sighed. “Ugh, don’t remind me. It’s just so not me. Mom has turned it into this big extravagant affair. 300 people! I’m not even going to know half of them, Tyler!”

I felt bad for her. I stopped what I was doing and sat down on the bed. Patting her leg in an effort to calm her, I said, “Keep your eyes on the prize, Em. Shane loves you more than anything in the world. You guys have your whole lives ahead of you. This is just the first of many more memories that you two will be making together.”

She forced a sincere smile before sitting up and throwing her arms around my neck. I felt her sniffle against my neck. “Don’t cry, Em,” I pleaded.

She pulled back from me and placed her hands on my cheeks. “You always know the perfect thing to say. I love you, Ty. I’m going to miss—” She stopped herself short.

I felt a familiar feeling in my gut. I’d been through this once before, and knew where this was going, but this time it was going to be so much worse. It wasn’t just about her anymore. “Miss what, Em? You’re just getting married right? What aren’t you telling me?”

“I’ve already said too much.” She stood to leave just as Shane appeared in the doorway. His eyes darted between us, obviously sensing the tension in the room, a knowing look spread across his face.

“You always were horrible at keeping secrets, Em,” he laughed, leaning against the doorframe.

“What secret?” I begged again. The tension continued to grow and even though I had a good idea of where this was going, I couldn’t take it.

Emma took a deep breath. “We were going to wait and tell you and Rob after the wedding …” Her voice hitched as she continued. “We didn’t want to ruin the weekend, you know.”

“You guys are moving out, aren’t you?” I thought I had prepared myself, but I’d thought I would have more time. I hadn’t expected it to happen so soon. I felt like I had been punched in the gut—not only were my two best friends leaving me behind, but they were taking my favorite little buddy too. A lump formed in my throat when I thought about not being able to see Felix whenever I wanted.

“I’m sorry, man,” Shane added. I knew he was apologizing on more than one level. With them leaving, Rob and I would no longer be able to afford the mortgage on this place. We were going to have to sell our beloved condo—the very place where we had created so many memories. “We all knew this day was coming. We would stay, but with Felix getting older and being married, it’s just the right thing to do. We can’t be cramping your style forever.”

“I understand,” I choked. I’d expected it, but it still didn’t make it any easier. In fact, it was tough as hell.

Shane entered the room and put his hand firmly onto my shoulder. “We’ve thought about it all spring, Tyler, and we feel awful leaving you guys high and dry. But we’ve got to get on with our lives … independently. We’ll obviously still be around, we’ll never leave New York, and you guys are welcome at our new place anytime …”

“You have a place already?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Shane admitted. “We close on it when we get back from the wedding. Just know that we are in no rush to get rid of this place though. We can comfortably afford the payments for at least a couple of months. I wish there was another way, but I just don’t think there is.”

I nodded. Uncomfortable silence surrounded us. Finally I spoke up. “I think we should wait to tell Rob. He’s itching to let loose this weekend, and this will definitely upset him. We don’t need Robbie-Boy running rampant in the wilderness of Maine.”

I watched as Emma put her hand in Shane’s and smiled at him. “Agreed. Let’s just focus on having a good time this weekend and enjoy our last moments as roomies.”

I quickly gave each of them a hug while congratulating them on yet another big milestone in their lives, making sure to assure them that I was truly happy they were moving forward. As much as I was hurting, I wanted for them to feel joy, not my sadness.

We arrived in Maine early the next morning. We’d decided to fly, since we didn’t really have enough room in the cars to pack everything we would need for a six-hour road trip
and
a wedding. Emma was just giddy over the thought of getting airline peanuts—possibly more than the fact that we were travelling to her own wedding. Seriously, the girl had a freakish addiction to those things.

Once we landed we piled into the rental car and headed straight for the lake. Because of our early arrival we were able to spend the majority of the day enjoying the summer day by the lake. There was quite the crowd there, celebrating the upcoming nuptials. Emma had a huge family and so—unfortunately for her—there were so many people invited that there were tents and campers everywhere.

Shane, Rob and I kept ourselves busy most of the morning on the Jet Ski’s—we had a blast racing, jumping, and generally acting like idiots. It brought back a lot of memories. I was so busy that I didn’t lay eyes on Elizabeth until around lunchtime.

As we came in from the dock and threw our life jackets onto the sand it didn’t take long for my eyes to find her. She was sitting with Mason and Emily at a picnic table, silently eating her lunch. No smiling … no laughing … just strained silence. My heart stopped seeing her sitting there, the sun shining on her slightly bronzed skin. I’d been hopeful that I’d been able to let her go during her two-month absence, but my knee-jerk reaction to just the sight of her made it obvious that I hadn’t.

“You promised,” Rob whispered, and I realized that I was still standing on the beach, completely motionless … staring.

I shook the thoughts out of my head and took my hand and crossed my heart. “Yeah, yeah. Gotcha.”

Things remained casual throughout the day. I visited with some of Emma’s family that I hadn’t seen in a long time, and I even got to have a few words with Mr. Sloan. I loved that dude. But before we knew it, the sun had gone down and Shane was putting together a huge bonfire. The beers started flowing, and with each passing hour the noise level increased.

The younger crowd sat around a picnic table. I was chatting casually with one of Emma’s cousins when Rob decided to take control.

“Let’s play ‘Never Have I Ever’!” he called out excitedly.

A few of us groaned, knowing that nothing good ever came from playing ‘Never Have I Ever’.

“Oh, come on, guys. I’ll even start.” He paused for a minute, I’m sure it was hard for him to come up with something he’d never done. On second thought, he was probably contemplating how he was going to get someone to out themselves. “Never have I ever … fallen in love with my best friend.”

A few laughs escaped the crowd as Shane and Emma took a swig of their drinks.

“My turn,” Emma sputtered against her straw. “Never have I ever … paid for sex!”

Rob nonchalantly shrugged and took a swig from his drink. I shook my head. Shane and Em may be moving out, but our relationship would never change—I was sure of it. It would be things like this that I would miss. The end of an era. I’d said it before but this time I was sure of it.

Elizabeth piped up next. “Never have I ever … lived in New York City.”

Rob took another haul off his drink and rolled his eyes. “That’s a cheap one, Liz, even for you.”

Shane, Emma, and I drank our drinks with smiles on our faces. Rob’s game was going to backfire on him.

We continued our game, and Emma’s cousins even started getting in on the action—even though their contributions to kickin’ Rob’s ass weren’t very effective. While we played Mason played on his phone. His ass was too busy—doing God knows what—to have a little fun. The longer we played, the louder and more obnoxious we became.

“Never have I ever … been arrested.” I threw it out there on whim, just to see if I got a response from anybody.

Rob took a drink. I looked at him, slightly shocked. That was surprising—even for Rob. “What?” he slurred. Our game would have to end soon, or Robbie-Boy would surely make his Maine debut.

“Just surprised, is all. You got a story to go with that little tit-bit of information?”

He made a gun with his fingers and pointed at me with a wink. “I’ll save it for another time, Ty-Ty.”

We stopped playing shortly after, and the crowd dispersed around the bonfire. I continued to pound beer after beer in an effort to unwind. The drunker I got, the more I wanted to sneak a moment with Elizabeth—my resolve to quit her be damned. Watching her prance around in her bikini had driven me absolutely nutty. I’d fought the urge to reach out and touch her soft skin all day.

I stared across the fire into her eyes, telepathically willing her to make eye contact with me. Finally, her eyes met mine and we shared a look. Without thinking, I quickly motioned towards the front of the camp, knowing it would be dark there and we could meet under the cover of night.

I watched as Elizabeth leaned into Mason and told him something. I wondered what she was using for a lie. She gave me a look as she passed by me. Downing the rest of my beer, I somehow managed to separate myself from the crowd. No one seemed any the wiser as I slipped away from the roaring bonfire. Turning the corner at the front of the camp, I found her underneath a large oak tree, looking as beautiful as ever, her skin softly glowing in the moonlight.

“Hey,” I said joining her.

“Hey, yourself,” she purred as she wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed into my body.

I took her into my arms and kissed her forehead. It had been hard being around her and controlling my urge to touch her—not to mention the insanity that ate away at my insides watching her with Mason.

I knew I’d said I was done—that I wasn’t going to pressure her any further—but being there, and seeing her with him, I knew I needed to tell her she’d made the wrong choice. We’d carried on with this charade long enough. Now I knew it was too late for me—I knew I’d fallen for Elizabeth Sloan and there was no going back for me. I’d learned my lesson watching Shane’s torturous secrets eat away at him. I was going to come clean with my feelings no matter what the costs. I was going to air all my dirty laundry.

“Liz, I want you to leave Mason.” The words escaped my mouth before I lost my courage.

She dropped her arms from me and took a step back. “Tyler, don’t—” she protested as she continued to back away from me.

“No, Liz, this needs to happen.” I grabbed her by the wrists, preventing her from escaping me again. “We both knew we were playing with fire when this started, and you need to deal with the repercussions. I’m crazy about you. I don’t want to be, and I don’t know exactly when it happened, but I can’t fuckin’ stop thinking about you. You make me a better person. When I’m with you everything else is obsolete … it’s all just so … unimportant when I’m with you. When I’m not with you I feel like I’m drowning. Seeing you with him makes me sick. I want to kick his ass, even though I have no right to.”

“Don’t make me choose,” she begged.

My blood began to boil. “What the fuck, Liz? Do you honestly think we can keep carrying on like this?”

She shrugged.

“You don’t even care about me do you?” I spat as I threw her wrists away from me.

A tortured sound came from her lips. I’d apparently scared her with my abrasiveness. “It’s not that simple, Tyler.”

With every passing moment I became angrier. Angry at her for being so damn indecisive. Angry at the situation we’d gotten ourselves into. But mostly I was angry at myself … for being so goddamn stupid. “But it was that simple when you practically begged me to screw you!” I spat carelessly. A gasp escaped from her lips. I generally tried to not be crude around her since it made her uncomfortable, but damn it all to hell I’d had it.

“It wasn’t just about sex, Tyler.”

“So what are you going to do, Elizabeth?” I looked to her face for some sort of clarification.

“Please just don’t make me choose,” she choked. “Because if you do, I’ll choose him.”

I stood there, shocked to my core. I’d thought what we had meant more to her than that, but obviously I was mistaken. My hands scoured my face and I took a deep breath in an attempt to control my anger. I could feel the tension building with every passing moment. Deep down, I knew why she’d choose him over me and it made me sick.