I'm Holding On (27 page)

Brynlee

He did what I thought he’d do, what I prayed he wouldn’t. He gave me up
when I pulled away. I know he’s been fighting for weeks, but I wanted him to be crazy jealous. I needed to see that possessiveness from him that Ian showed in the end and hear those three words. Those three little yet monumental words.

I slump do
wn on the floor and cry, unable to remember the last day I didn’t shed a tear. The door creaks open, but I don’t look. I’m out of energy for anything.

My knees are pulled up
, and my head is resting on my arms. Someone slides down the wall and sits next to me.

“Boy trouble again?” Marissa
asks.

I lift my head.
“Man trouble. I hate to tell ya, but it’s much worse.”

“Dad told me what
Drew did. He’s an idiot. He’s too guarded. Has he even told you he loves you?”

“No.”

“Did Ian?”

“Yes.”

“I figured that’s what happened. That Ian doesn’t play around. He came over some when he and Drew were in school together. I had an instant crush on him. Please don’t beat me up for it, but he’s a hottie. Drew should’ve stepped it up. I love my brother, but I can see why he lost his chance.”

“Do you really think he loves me?”

“Of course. You think he doesn’t?” she asks, seeming surprised.

“I don’t know what to think anymore. He’s done plenty to show he loves me, but maybe he did them because
we’re best friends and because he’s that good of a person. He let me go. Maybe it’s wrong of me, but I wanted to see the fight in him that Ian showed.”

“I need to run home, but can I come back to see you?”

“I guess so, but I have to make this delivery in a couple of hours.”

“Since
Drew left, can I help?”

“Sure, I’d like that.”

She leaves, and I get it together enough to finish my work. All the white cardboard boxes are full of desserts with my labels on the top of them, ready for me to load in the van. She comes back about an hour later, carrying a shoe box.

“Hi, I’m back. I know you have to make the delivery, but do you have five minutes for me to show you something?”

I take off my apron and push my hair back.

“Sure, whatcha got?”

“I had Dad run me by Drew’s. Luckily, he wasn’t there, and we have a key. Yes, I took this from his apartment, but I’d like to think I borrowed it for a good cause.”

“
Something tells me Drew wouldn’t feel the same.”

Marissa continues her speech, ignoring what I said.

“Remember a few months ago when Mom and Dad went out of town those couple of days?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I had to stay with Drew since they were worried I’d throw a party.” She flips her hair and rolls her eyes. “Anyway, I was looking for Monopoly in Drew’s closet and stumbled upon this.” She takes the lid off the box.

Right on top is
the postcard and brochure from when Drew and I recently went to the falls. I set them on my work table and stare into the box.

“I don’t know, Marissa. Maybe he wouldn’t want me to look in here.”

“Please, Bryn. It’s stuff from all the places you two have been together and other little things that remind him of you. I made him confess what it was, and he made me promise not to tell, but I crossed my fingers behind my back.”

“Alright
, I’m dying to know what’s in here.” I sift through the box. It’s filled to the top with more postcards, brochures and pictures of me. “There is something in here from everything we’ve ever done together.”

My favorite chewing gum wrapper, a pressed flower from the park we frequent
, and one of the baking labels I advertise with are in it. I hold up a slip of paper.

“This is a list of every book
I’ve ever said I wanted when we’ve been at the bookstore. He’s bought me several, and I’ve always wondered how he remembered.”

“At first I thought it was kinda stalkerish, b
ut after thinking about it, it’s sweet. I’d love it if a guy did this for me,” Marissa says.

Memories crowd
my mind as I go through the box. We’ve had more incredible times than I could count. I find a few concert ticket stubs, take out menus from our usual restaurants, a picture of me running, and one where I’m sleeping. OK, I didn’t know he took those.”

“Looks like he’s in need of another box. Well … that is if
you two get to make more memories.”

I p
ush her shoulder.

“Don’t think I don’t know wh
at you’re up to, but it’s thoughtful that you’re looking out for your big brother. I’ll tell you a secret. I didn’t pick Ian.”

Marissa’s eyes light up. “You didn’t?”

“
I told him goodbye a few days ago since my heart belongs to Drew. I’ve been waiting for a sign that shows how bad he wants it, and I thought he gave that to me earlier, but these tokens are definitely adding to the evidence that I was wrong.”

Her eyes sparkle with excitement before she throws her arms around my waist. “There’s still a chance then.”

“Maybe.” I put everything back in the box carefully, making sure the stuff from our date at the falls is on top. I picture us soaking wet, laughing in his car, but not before I think about the steamy kiss we shared when he pressed me up against the door.

“You need to make sure this goes right back where you found it, and please don’t let anything happen to it.”

“I knew you loved my dork of a brother. He is pretty awesome.”

“That he is. So, are you going to help me deliver this order?”

“Of course. Let’s go.”

Drew

I’ve been driving around the city, and everywhere reminds me of Bryn since we’ve done so much together over the years. I thought it’d be more depressing to sit at my apartment, but there’s no place I could go that’ll make me feel better about this. I stop at the nearest liquor store. If I’m going to wallow in self-pity, then I’m doing it up right.

Shi
t, seriously? Ian is at the register when I trudge in, and unfortunately, he sees me. I might as well get this over with. Maybe if I tell him, he’ll gloat less when I see him in the future. I approach him, and before I can speak, he does.

“W
hat the hell do you want, Drew, and why are you out this way? Did you follow me from work, so you can rub it in?”

“I was out driving around, and what
are you rambling about?”

“
Is the fact that you were given the heart of the best woman I’ve had the privilege of knowing not enough to get back at me? I figured you wouldn’t appreciate her the same, considering it took you so long to tell her how you feel.”

“Y
ou look like shit. Have you even showered since I saw you last? And I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

“Fuck you, Drew. Don’t act like you don’t know.”

He stares at me for several seconds, and I’m thoroughly confused.

“
Oh, shit. She didn’t tell you. Unbelievable. I sure didn’t see this coming, but I know exactly why it happened. What a shame.” He smirks at me. He really does look like hell.

“You need t
o stop screwing around, and tell me what I’m missing here,” I say pissed.

“Bryn
lee put me on the road Thursday after Gram’s visitation. A small part of me takes satisfaction in knowing she didn’t run into your arms, but the bigger part of me, the part that loves her hates this for her.”

I grip my hair.
“She ended things with you four days ago?” I’m desperate to know what the fuck’s going on.

“Yep.
If I didn’t already know it’d be futile, I’d try to work my way back in after hearing this news.”

“Why in the hell hasn’t she told me?”

He smirks. “Now that I’m not sharing. You only deserve her if you can figure it out on your own.”

I point in his face. “No, you need to tell me what she said.”

“Hell no. You have the winning lottery ticket, and you don’t even know how to cash it in. Like I said, you only deserve her if you figure this out without her telling you. I will warn you, if Brynlee has to say it, she’ll only ever be friends with you. Then I might just have to kick your ass.”

He shakes his head as he walks away
, and I’m still trying to figure out what the hell happened.

Brynlee

Marissa is a saint
and goes with me to drop off my order. I promise the Clarks I’ll get her back by closing.

“Shoot. There is nowhere to park. I’ve been misbehaving for a month now, so why not
break the law?” I pull up in a “no parking” section of the street and turn on my emergency flashers. “Let’s go, girlfriend. We need to make this quick.”

Marissa helps me carry the boxes of goodies into the restaurant. We’re about to go out the door when the manager spots me. What is her name again?

“Brynlee, we need more of those strawberry croissants, what are they called again? Oh yes, Sweet Drews. Those are scrumptious, and they sell out in a day or two.”

“OK, I’ll see what I can do. I probably should run. I’m in a ‘no parking’ spot.”

“See you soon. Don’t forget about us,” she calls out as I’m heading toward the door.

I look back
. “OK, will do.”

I get outside and,
“No!” I throw my hands on my head. There’s an officer at the van.

“
Well, this blows,” Marissa says, crossing her arms.

“Oh officer, I was just leaving. I’m sorry. I was making a delivery, and there wasn’t anywhere to park.”

“No Parking. What part of that sign don’t you understand, ma’am?” the male officer asks, pointing.

“OK, sorry.” I
sigh.

“Can I see your registration and license please?”

“For parking wrong?”

“Ma’am, registration and license.”

I open the passenger side of the van and grab my purse. After pulling out my license, I reach in the glove box and get the registration. Some papers fall to the floorboard, so I pick them up after I hand the officer my information.

“OK, you two wait in the veh
icle, please.”

Marissa and I get back in the van. I’m trying to s
traighten the papers for her to put in the box, and I can’t help but notice the paperwork for the van. I’m curious how much one of these things cost. I pause to look at them.

Damn, this thing was
almost thirty grand, and I never see anyone use it, well, except for me. As my eyes scan the page, I realize Drew’s name is on the bill of sale under Clark’s Coffee Shop. He gave me the impression his parents purchased it. No way. 

“Marissa, you seem to know a lot of things about the shop and your family. If I ask you a question, will you be honest with me?”

“Um … sure.”

“Do you know anything about this?” I wave the paper in front of her. Her eyes are round
, and then she starts looking everywhere but the paperwork.

“What about it? Just
looks like a receipt to me.”

“Marissa, I know you like to snoop around. You know something, so spill it.”

“Ugh. If you think I could get in trouble over showing you the box, you have no idea how much I’m risking my life if I tell you about that piece of paper. Please don’t make me.”

“Look, you tell me, and if I need to
say something to Drew, then I’ll tell him I figured whatever it is out on my own.”

“I don’t think he’ll buy that.”

“I’ll pay you ten dollars an hour cash for five hours of work a week until I find a teaching job. Now, share.”

“You have a deal. D
rew bought the van, so you’d have a way to make deliveries. He makes the payments, and that’s why he lives in his crappy apartment. I overheard him tell Dad that when he pays it off, he can start saving for a house. He absolutely does not want you to know.”

I grab my chest. I’m going to hyperventilate. The officer comes up to the window.

“Here’s your license and registration back, and here’s your—ma’am, are you OK?”

“No. I’m not at all. I think I’m having a panic attack.”

“Look, ma’am, it’s only a parking ticket.”

“No, it is so much more than that. You really have no idea.” I pull on the collar of my shirt. I think I’m suffocating.

“Ma’am, here, I’ll tear the damn thing up. Calm down, and don’t ever park here again.” He shreds the paper before walking away.

“Ah oh.
If this is how you’re going to act over this then …”

“Then what?”

“Nothing. We should get out of here before the cop gets angry.”

“Marissa, there
is something else you’re not telling me.” I’m heaving for air as I do the math in my head and realize Drew’s been making payments on this van for over a year and a half.

“I know nothing.” She stares out the side window.

“Tell me now, Marissa. If it involves me, then I have a right to know.”

“I’m so dead. I hope you know I’ll probably get grounded over this.”

“I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.”

She lets out a hefty sigh. “Drive, and I’ll tell you.”

“Fine.” I pull out of the illegal spot and start down the road. My hands are sweating, and my chest is pounding.

“A percentage of the money Mom and Dad make from the sales of your food is being saved for you. They
plan to give it to you when you’re ready to get your own bakery.”

“Shit, shit, shit
!”
My palm hits the steering wheel.

“Brynlee,” she says, whining. “I’m in so much trouble. And here I was worried about showing you the dang shoebox.”

“Marissa, look at me.” I take my eyes off the road, glancing to her a few times. “I will make sure you’re not in trouble. These two situations involve a lot of money. I have a right to know, so thank you for being honest.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know yet. It’s a lot to take in.” I’m embarrassed to be the Clarks’ charity case. Neither of us speak until we get to the shop.

I park the van and give Marissa twenty bucks from my purse. “Here, you definitely deserve this today.”

“Thanks, Bryn. I’m sorry about all this.”

“Don’t be.
It’s just overwhelming to hear all the kind things your family has done for me. Can you take the keys in?”

“Sure. See you la
ter.”