I Speak...Love (A Different Road #3) (21 page)

“Nina and . . . and her baby,” I say, choked.

My fingers come to my lips as they twist with the unbearable truth. I wrap my arm around my waist and feel sick to my stomach. Josh and Nina can never forgive something so heartbreaking. They lost not only an emotional piece of their heart, but a physical piece from each of them as well. I upset her so much to the point she had a miscarriage. I can never look her in the eyes again. They will always see me as the person who killed their unborn child.

“Oh, Maddy . . . God, no . . . Nina and the baby are just fine,” Joss assures me.

“What?” I whisper as snot runs down my upper lip.

“The doctor wants her to take it easy, but both momma and baby are perfectly healthy. Honey, you didn’t think you . . .” she asks, bending down to catch my eyes.

Instant relief fills my soul. I can live with myself for a lot of things, but being the reason Josh and Nina lost their baby was one I could never forgive myself for.

“Kate,” I say.

Kate is the first best friend I’ve ever had. I’ve hurt her, and she has every right to hate me.

“Kate’s fine. She’s not mad. She’s hurt by Stephen and rightfully so, but she understands that’s not on you. She realizes Stephen should never have put you in that position in the first place. Even though Stephen hurt her by keeping something from her that she had every right to know, she’s not mad at Stephen either,” she says.

“She’s not?” I ask.

“They’re family. Families fight, they do things, they say things, but they always . . . always come back to each other no matter what. That’s the best part of being in a family.
You,
honey, you’re a part of that family too. When a family is in crisis, it brings them closer together,” she says, running her hand down my arm to my hand.

None of these people can possibly think of me as family after everything I’ve done.

“What about you?” I ask.

She’s been a part of this family longer than I’ve been in this town.

“When Kate still lived in River’s pool house, he said and did a lot of things that upset me. He acted like a complete ass at times. Like family, when Kate forgave him, I did too. We talked about it, and he assured me his family meant everything to him, including me. When he attacked Stephen, I saw a side of him I’ve never seen before, and it scares me. When Stephen started seizing, and I still saw that rage in River’s eyes, it killed me. I don’t know what the future holds for him and me,” she says, twisting the engagement ring on her finger. “It’s late, and I’m exhausted. Promise me you’ll still be here in the morning?” she asks.

“I promise,” I assure her.

Joss walks down the hall, grabs a bag on the way to Nina’s old bedroom, opens the door, then closes it behind her. I look around the dark house I’ve called my home, and I don’t recognize the life I had only two days ago.

I walk into the bedroom I once called mine, climb into bed with my clothes still on and like Joss in the room next to me, I cry myself to sleep.

The next morning, I’m woken by loud noises coming from the family room. It’s not just Joss either. It’s a lot of noise and commotion. I climb out of bed, open the door, and see everyone fluttering from the kitchen to the dining room table. The entire family is here, except I don’t see River or Stephen. The second my foot hits the hallway, everyone stops moving and talking. All eyes come to me, then they all shift directions and look to my right. They all looked like a bunch of kittens watching a beam of light move from one end of the room to the other. Before I can process the situation, Stephen steps out from around the corner. A ton of conflicting emotions hit me all at once, then relief completely fills me when I see how good he looks. Aside from a nasty bruise on the side of his head, you would never know he was in the hospital just yesterday. I can’t help it when my eyes start to sting, and they fill with tears. A beautiful, crooked smile slowly climbs up his lips, then he places one foot in front of the other until he’s standing directly in front of me. He smells like earthy cologne, and my right hand begs to touch the rough stubble low on his jawline. He takes my hand in his, then leans forward and brushes his chin against my cheek. His rough stubble scrapes against my smooth skin, and I close my eyes.

He buries his nose in my hair, inhales deeply, then his lips whisper, “Sweetness,” in my ear.

That nickname . . . God, it’s like heaven in my ears, and I was so sure I’d never hear it again. Chills race from the bottom of my feet, up my spine, to the top of my head.

“Come on you guys, breakfast is getting cold,” Nina calls with a smile.

Stephen gently rests his forehead on mine, then he looks into my eyes and smiles. He places a soft kiss on my cheek, then he whispers in my ear again, “Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two broken people do. I love you, Maddy Malone.”

No one has ever said those words to me. No one has ever loved me before. My chameleon is broken. Even though all my painful, disgusting colors are spilled at my feet, he still wants to love me.

Stephen backs away, but looks deep into my eyes, smiles at me, then leans down and softly presses his lips to mine. My hand finally gets its wish. I raise it to his cheek and scrape my palm down his cheek as his lips warmly move over mine.

“Can I talk to Maddy before we eat, Lover Boy?” Nina asks, standing next to us.

Stephen winks at me, then squeezes my hand. He continues to hold on to my hand as he starts to back away, but before my fingertips leave his, my face falls, and I stare at our joined hands. He stops and grips them firmly. The vision of my camera and everything else good in my life always slipping from my fingertips crashes through my thoughts like a runaway freight train. Before his fingertips can leave mine, he pulls me toward him making me take a few steps forward. My body crashes into his, then he gently takes my chin in his hand and watches as my thoughts swirl around in my eyes.

“I told you I wasn’t good for you. I wasn’t lying. I’m not. You have nothing to worry about though, because I have
every
intention of not being good for you for the rest of your life. I want to steal your breath every time you feel me looking at you. I want to hijack your heart and keep it all to myself. I want to rob you of every
single
one of those insecurities running around behind that beautiful, freckled forehead. I want to bum a ride on your emotions as they wildly churn in your green eyes. I want to be the brick wall you crash into when your chameleon needs to change colors. I have every bad intention toward you. So you see, there’s nothing good for you here. You can stay. Maddy, I want you to stay,” he says, closing the distance, placing his lips on mine.

He pulls away, lets go of my hand, smiles that crooked, sexy smile, then walks to the table. I’ve never heard anything so romantic in my life. I look away from Stephen to Nina. She’s looking at me with her mouth hanging open and a dumbfounded expression plastered all over her face. The chills racing over my skin are quickly replaced by goosebumps.

“I’ve never heard Stephen say so many words at one time before, but holy shit that was the hottest, strangest, most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard,” she says, then she gets a serious look on her face. “Maddy, I need to apologize to you. I’m so very sorry. I said some pretty horrible things to you yesterday that I didn’t mean. I don’t know where they came from or what made me say them. I’d like to blame pregnancy, but . . .” she starts.

“No, Nina . . . I’m sorry,” I interrupt.

She starts giggling, and I’m not quite sure why she’s giggling, but it’s contagious, so I start giggling too.

“We’re both sorry,” she says, then she leans in and gives me a hug.

And just like that, her hug doesn’t kill me either. I pull away and look down at her beautiful baby bump. I missed it at the hospital because she had a pillow in her lap. Nina takes my hand and places it on her belly with a huge smile. At that exact moment, her very much alive and healthy baby kicks my hand.

Nina walks to the table with a peaceful look on her face while she takes her seat next to Josh. He wraps his arm around her shoulders, then he places a kiss on the side of her head. He gently rests his hand on her round belly, then he looks at her adoringly. I remember that look. It’s the same look my dad had for my mom when she was pregnant.

Kate is sitting to my right while Sadie sits slouched, resting her body against the back of her chair. Cooper firmly pats Sadie’s side, then her loyal, chocolate brown eyes connect with his. Joss comes out of the kitchen with one final plate, sets it on the table, then has a seat. Kate reaches over and takes my hand, threading her fingers through mine. I look down at our hands while I experience something I was so very jealous of for far too long. That connection with Kate that I never thought I was worthy of feeling fills my chest as Kate smiles at me.

Maddy silently slips into the chair next to me, then she looks at the empty chair next to Joss where River should be sitting. I know she blames herself for his absence, but River has no one to blame but himself for his actions. I don’t know where he is, but with Josh here, he has no ride. I lace my other hand through Maddy’s fingers and offer her a supportive smile. My heart is full. In each of my hands, I hold the two most important women in my life.

“Let’s eat. The baby is hungry,” Nina says.

“So, I’ll be seeing you at my yoga classes from now on, right?” Kate asks, squeezing my hand, then she lets go. “Doctor’s orders,” she says, as she takes a plate of fruit from Josh.

“Yep, I think I booked all of your six AM beginner classes,” I say, glancing at Maddy out of the corner of my eye.

Maddy’s eyes immediately come to me when she realizes what I just said. If I have it my way, that bus ticket sitting on the kitchen counter will go in the trash, and she’ll be joining me tomorrow morning and every morning after that for yoga classes together.

I take the fruit from Kate, then all eyes go to the front door as it suddenly swings open. River takes a step inside the house, and Maddy immediately smiles. Josh’s chair scrapes against the hardwood floor as he quickly gets up, then he walks over to him. Josh takes his elbow, guides him to the empty chair at the table, then he sits back down next to Nina.

“River,” Kate whispers.

“How did you get here?” Josh asks.

“I took a cab,” River answers.

“
You
took a cab?” Joss asks, shocked.

“I’d move heaven and earth to be with my family for breakfast,” he replies, placing his hand on the table palm up next to Joss.

Joss looks down at his hand, then her eyes come up and connect with Maddy, and they begin to fill with tears.

“Will you all excuse me, please? I’m not hungry,” Joss says, then places her napkin on the table and stands up.

River’s right hand quickly comes off the table, and he gently wraps his fingers around Joss’s wrist before she can walk away.

He stands up from his seat, still holding Joss’s wrist, then pleads, “Joss, please don’t go. I need to apologize to you. I’m so sorry for how I’ve been behaving. Before I met you, I was a broken man. I’m still learning to put the pieces back together. I’m completely lost without you in my life.” Joss stays put, but doesn’t look at him. Even though he can’t see, his pale, blue eyes connect with each person sitting at the table, then he continues, “I need to apologize to everyone sitting at this table. I’m not proud of a lot of the things I’ve done this past year. I met the best thing that ever happened to me, and she agreed to marry me even knowing the kind of man I can be. I don’t mean to, but I keep hurting the people that matter the most to me. Last night, I did a lot of thinking about myself. I don’t have an excuse, just my sincere apology and my promise not to do it anymore. Joss, I want to be the man that you can be proud of and believe in. Kate and Stephen, I want to be the brother you can trust and look up to. This right here, everyone sitting at this table is what life is about, what
my
life is about now. Stephen, I’m so very sorry about yesterday,” he says, looking at me. He takes Joss’s wrist with his other hand, then he extends his right hand out toward me. I look at Maddy and see the tears rippling in her eyes, threatening to pour down her cheeks. I look back at River and firmly place my hand in his. The relief on his face is instant as he shakes my hand exhaling his held breath. He lets go, then he runs his hand over his chin in an attempt to control his emotions. “Joss, please, I know I don’t deserve you, but I’m begging you on my knees,” he says, getting down on his knees in front of her. “Please come back to me. Please give me one more chance. I promise not to
ever
ask you for another chance because I swear to you on my life, I’ll never give you a reason to need it.”