I Speak...Love (A Different Road #3) (19 page)

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!” River shouts.

“River, don’t!” Joss warns again.

“The baby that Mom carried died, then Dad arranged your adoption, and they passed you off as the baby they gave birth to,” Stephen says, as my shoulders begin to heave with grief for Kate.

Kate’s eyes come to me as more tears spill down her cheeks. She grabs her wrist with her other hand and starts rubbing the small semi-colon tattoo that reminds her of everything she’s gone through. Her devastated face turns to Stephen, and I can’t help but blame myself for all of this. All of this is my fault. None of this would be happening to any of these people if I didn’t let myself become attached to them and allow happiness in my life.

“I’m . . . I’m adopted?” Kate whispers as her face crumbles. “I don’t understand. And you’ve known for . . . for seventeen goddamn years?” she shrieks at Stephen.

“Kate, I’m truly sorry. When Mom and Dad died, I blamed myself, and I felt like it was my duty to continue to keep their secret . . . for them, to protect you.”

“To protect me?” Kate shrieks at him. Then her eyes move back to me, and she whispers, “And you . . . you knew?”

“You son of a bitch!” River yells and before anyone can react, his fist violently connects with the side of Stephen’s head.

I feel myself screaming, but the room is silent as the whites of Stephen’s eyes roll in the back of his head, then close. His body goes limp, then he falls to the floor, smacking the back of his head on the hard floor. Immediately, his body goes ramrod straight, then his whole body begins to violently jerk. He foams at the mouth and spit starts to fly up in the air between his lips.

No! No! NO! None of this can be happening!

“He’s having a seizure!” someone yells.

“Someone dial 911!” I hear shouted, but it sounds like a distorted cartoon character from the end of an extremely long tunnel.

Stephen hasn’t stopped shaking on the floor, and I feel like I’m moving in slow motion. I look around the room for Kate. Her body is plastered against the wall, her hands are palm down against the wall, and she has a terrified look on her face. Cooper immediately stands in front of her, and he places his face close to hers while Sadie stands glued to her leg. I look at Joss, and she’s yelling at River while she repeatedly pushes his shoulders backward. It’s like someone is lifting and replacing the lid on the sound of the room. Bits and pieces play between utter dead silence.

“Kate! Talk to me!” Cooper says, dripping with concern, but it echoes in my ear.

Then silence.

“We’re over! I can’t do this with you again!” Joss yells, then she slaps River across the face.

Then more silence.

“Nina! Oh my God! Baby, are you alright? I need you to sit down,” Josh begs, as Nina’s hand goes to her belly, and her face morphs with pain.

Then silence.

The room starts to spin as my whole world crumbles around me.

All of these good people.

All of these terrible things.

Everyone single one of them. Their pain, it’s all my fault. My misfortune has leached into their lives because I allowed myself to be happy.

I hear the sirens of the ambulance as it pulls into the driveway.

Then silence.

The front door is thrown open, then two paramedics rush in and push me out of the way.

“I need someone to look at my fiancé!” Josh pleads, frantically. “She’s pregnant! I think she’s having a miscarriage!” he shouts, as Nina slowly sinks to the floor.

“Oh, God! Please, no! This can’t be happening!” Nina cries.

“I need a second ambulance dispatched to our last address,” one of the paramedics call into his radio slung over his shoulder.

“How long has he been seizing?” a paramedic asks into the room.

I don’t know if one minute has gone by or one hour. I stare helplessly at them, unable to answer, then Joss answers, “It’s been at least ten minutes.”

The paramedics open their bags and immediately start assessing Stephen. They rip open several packages, then one says, “Benzo is going in,” as he inserts a needle in Stephen’s arm.

The other paramedic places a hard collar around his neck.

“Let’s roll him,” the other one says, as Stephens’s body slowly stops jerking.

One puts oxygen over his face as the other positions a backboard next to his body. They strap him in, then he’s lifted, and carried toward the front door.

“Two of you can come with us,” one paramedic says.

“Maddy, come on,” Joss’s voice echoes, then she grabs my hand and forcefully pulls me out of the front door.

My feet feel like they weigh a million pounds, yet they glide over the pavement with ease, as Joss pulls me inside the ambulance. The one paramedic continues to work on Stephen while the other one closes the door, then he gets behind the wheel and drives away. The siren is turned on, and we speed down the street as a second ambulance passes us. Joss picks up my hand and places it on Stephen’s hand. His hand is heavy and warm in mine. I squeeze his hand and as I close my eyes, tears roll down my cheek. I say a silent prayer to the happiness gods or the karma angels,
please, not Stephen. I’ll give up everything, I promise, just, please . . . please don’t take it out on Stephen.

At the hospital, Stephen is unloaded, then Joss and I are ushered into a waiting room. It feels like hours have passed, but before I know it, Joss and I are brought into a private room. Stephen is lying in bed, lifeless, hooked up to several IV’s and monitors, and he has a nasty bruise on the left side of his head forming. The air in the room suddenly shifts and crushes between my lungs as the rest of the family walks in the room. Josh pushes a sorrowful Nina in the room in a wheelchair. She’s wearing a blue hospital gown, a white hospital band around her wrist, and she’s softly hugging a pillow over her belly. Joss won’t look at River, and no one will look at me. Cooper has Kate cradled in his arms like she wouldn’t be able to stand otherwise.

A doctor enters the room, and again the on and off sound lid is back. I only hear every other few words.

“He was hypoglycemic . . .”

“He’s diabetic . . .”

“He’s been diabetic for some time now, and he probably didn’t even know it . . .”

“Headaches, loss of concentration, low blood sugar all left untreated, led to the seizure . . .”

“So this wasn’t my fault?” River asks. “Joss, this wasn’t my fault,” he says to her from across the room, but she won’t look at him.

Suddenly, there’s only one thing I can think about. It’s the only logical answer, and I promised.

“Joss, I need your car keys,” I say, holding out my hand.

“What? Why?” she asks.

“I just need them,” I say, jerking my hand impatiently.

“You’re not leaving are you? Maddy, you can’t!” she says.

“Joss, please,” I beg.

“I don’t have any on me. Cooper, give me your keys,” she says to Cooper.

Cooper presses Kate to his chest with one hand while he digs into his pocket with the other hand. He hands Joss his keys, then she quickly hands them to me. The second they’re in my hand, I run out of the room.

“Maddy!” Joss yells.

I drive back to River’s house and open the unlocked front door. Everyone left in such a rush; no one locked the door. I grab the camera backpack sitting in the center of the room, then I sit on the floor and start tearing everything out of it.
Come on! You have to be here somewhere.
Finally, in a side pocket, I pull out a business card to where the camera was purchased. I shove everything back in the bag, then I get back in the car and drive to the address downtown. The bell cheerfully jingles over the doorframe as I walk in, and I’m greeted by a gentleman.

“Can I help you?” he asks, politely.

“I need to return this,” I say, setting the backpack on the counter.

“Do you have the receipt?” he asks.

“No, I don’t,” I reply, unzipping the bag.

“I’m sorry. The best I can do is give you store credit,” he says, looking at everything, as I take it out.

“No, you don’t understand,” I say.

“Wait a minute. I recognize this camera,” he says, picking it up. “I told your friend it would void the warranty. I’m afraid I can’t take this back at all,” he says.

“I don’t want money back or store credit. I just need you to keep it,” I say, turn around and walk toward the door.

Before the bell jingles over the doorframe, I stop and remember the memory card. I dig in my purse, find the memory card, walk back to the dumbfounded salesman and place it on the counter. I turn around and walk toward the door and this time, the bell jingles as I walk out of the store.

“But, Miss!” the salesman calls, as the door closes behind me.

See, I gave the camera back like I promised.
Stephen will be all right now. He just has to be. The tally marks are even, the scale of Lady Justice is balanced again. But I need to see it for myself this one last time. I need to make sure what I’ve caused has been undone, then I’ll leave and hopefully this family will be able to heal. I drive to Joss and Nina’s house, get my backpack, then drive back to the hospital.

I walk into his hospital room and thank God no one else from the family is in the room with him. Stephen’s eyes are still closed, but the color has returned to his cheeks. My eyes fill with tears as I look at him. I never meant for any of this to happen. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Stephen’s glasses, his wallet, and the leather cuff I gave him sitting on the table next to his bed. I walk over to the table, quietly set Cooper’s keys down, then I pick up the leather cuff. I bring it to my face and press my lips to the hard, hammered studs. I turn back to Stephen, then gently slip it under his wrist. I softly press the snaps closed as fresh tears start to fall down my face.

I sit down in the chair next to his bed, wrap my hand around his, lower my head, then close my eyes. He’s going to be alright now. He is. As I take deep breaths of relief, I don’t intend to, but the stress of the day washes over me and out of pure exhaustion, I drift off to sleep.

It’s quiet and my head hurts. It’s not the usual eye-piercing headache I normally get, but the kind where it feels like someone hit me upside the back of my head with a baseball bat. The room is dark, and the steady beeping sound next to my head is almost as annoying as a blinking cursor on a blank document. I’m not exactly sure where I am, and I’m trying to remember just how I got in this bed, but for the life of me, I can’t remember anything but the pained, desperate look on Maddy’s face.

Maddy!

I feel a warm hand on my wrist and gentle pressure on the top of my right hand. I blink my eyes several times trying to shake off the fog, then I look over to my right and see Maddy peacefully sleeping. She’s sitting in a chair next to the bed, and her fingers are wrapped around the cuff she gave me. Her cheek is gently resting on my hand, and her eyes are red and wet as tears still make their path from the creases in her eyes, down her beautiful, freckled cheek. Gently, I move my fingers and brush them down her face, drying her tears. Her eyes open and focus on mine. They cloud with emotions and churn like crude oil on the salty ocean surface. They darken and lighten as a fierce storm rages deep inside them. Quickly, piece by piece the evening starts to come back to me.