I Hear Voices (12 page)

What were the odds of that happening?

The old woman looked up, eyed my disguise and winked.

I stared back in fascinated horror. Was this some kind of horrible joke? The woman had an enormous black mole on her upper lip with two long black hairs protruding outwards like antennas.

Ewww! It kinda reminded me of a big black roach.

The stressed-out flight attendant wheeled me over to the table. “I found your sister.”

“About time,” Roach Lady responded.

What the hell was going on? My appetite died a sudden death at the food stuck in her rather snarly teeth. I patted the flight attendant’s hand. “We’re not related honey, but I can see how you would make that mistake.”

The old woman snorted, “Forgot to take your meds again, didn’t ya?”

The flight attendant handed me a bottle of water. “Here you go. Do you have your pills in your purse?”

“Yes, but I don’t know her.” I made a big production of looking for the pills in my cavernous purse.

“Don’t worry missy, it’s just her dementia.

Remember? My name’s Maude,” the old woman said and shoveled another forkful of food in her mouth.

The two black hairs quivered madly as she chewed.

Dementia!? This was obviously some kind of con but who was conning who? “Yes, now I remember.

I’m Zelda and you’re Maude,” I responded in my quavering, slightly confused old lady’s voice. I

watched in disbelief as she kept stuffing food in her mouth at an alarming rate.

“I’ll leave you two to get reacquainted and I’ll be back in about fifteen minutes to pre-board you.” The flight attendant smiled brightly and fled.

Coward. “Who the hell are you?”

“Like I said I’m your sister Maude. Bet you forgot about your six kids, too?”

Someone had gone to a lot of trouble to set this up but who? I’d play her little game for now. “I was never blessed with children.”

Maude cackled madly and bits of food flew across the table. “Blessed? Ain’t you a funny one?

My brats always got their hand out. Ma I need twenty bucks. Ma I need bail money. They’re nothin’ but a bunch of worthless, lazy bastards.”

“It must be difficult.” I glanced around. Maybe this was this one of those reality shows where they pranked people.

“Difficult she says,” Maude cackled again and pieces of masticated ham spewed from her mouth.

“My Tom robbed a bank and do you think he’d give me some of the money? Hell no, so I turned him in and got the reward. I mean, I’m entitled to that reward money, ain’t I? The kids ain’t helping me out. I have bills and my measly social security check ain’t getting me to Vegas for a bit of fun.”

She winked again. “If ya know what I mean?”

Dear God, she was either for real or the best actress I had ever met. Where in the world had they found her? Was this Derek’s revenge for

getting him arrested or was someone else behind the masquerade?

Maude stuck her hand in her mouth and popped out a partial plate with two yellowed teeth. “This stupid piece of crap has never fit properly.” She dunked it in her glass of water. “Ain’t ya hungry?

These are some mighty fine vittles.”

“No, I had a big breakfast before I left.” Where was a Taser when you needed one? I edged my wheelchair back from the table. Taking the bus to Vegas was starting to look really appealing.

The flight attendant entered the room with a dazzling smile. “You ladies ready for Vegas?”

“Yes. Now, please.” I wheeled my chair over to her.

“Now, hang on a dang minute. I’m her caretaker, so I should board first,” Maude growled and expertly maneuvered her wheelchair over to the door.

“Okey-dokey then but don’t forget your teeth.”

A manic donkey bray broke from Maude.

“You’re a funny one all right.” She wheeled back, plucked her teeth from the glass and tucked them in her purse. “Make sure she doesn’t wander off now.”

“I’ll lock the door,” the flight attendant said.

“Good idea.” Maude bumped her wheelchair into the flight attendant’s leg. “Well, what ya waitin’ for missy? Let’s go.”

With an eye roll, ‘Missy’ wheeled her out the door.

A few seconds later I heard the door lock. Like that was going to stop me.

Granny Annabel materialized next to me.

“What a strange woman.”

“Ya think?”

The hair on the back of my neck suddenly stood at attention. “Derek’s here, isn’t he?”

Granny shrugged. “Doctor Rossi sang like a pigeon.”

“Canary,” I automatically corrected her.

Granny threw up her hands in disgust. “English bah! Linguassio volgare!”

My face itched like crazy and it was all I could do to keep from ripping the mask off. “Doctor Rossi couldn’t have known about Vegas.”

“The doctor said you kept babbling on about Las Vegas and some stucco warrior in a brothel.”

Wonderful! My heat exhaustion had turned me into a big mouthed, Chatty Kathy. “Does Derek know I’m disguised as an old lady?”

“He knows.”

“Yeah, but does he know about my twin?”

Granny Annabel vanished.

Dammit! I jumped out of the wheelchair, pulled a lock pick out of a hidden pocket in my purse and quickly picked the lock. I cautiously cracked the door open and peeped out.

The

flight

attendant

shoved

Maude’s

wheelchair into the waiting room, spun around dashed down the corridor like the devil himself was after her. Someone had really spooked her.

I sidled up to a fake palm tree and took a cautious look around.

His face harsh, stony and unyielding, Derek stalked across the waiting room and came to a stop in front of Maude. “You’re under arrest, Zelda.”

“The name’s Maude, young fella and who the hell are you?”

His mouth a hard line, Sloan grabbed her purse and looked inside. “Cut the act and that mole is ridiculous.”

Maude let out an ear piercing scream. “Help!

Police! He’s taking my money.”

As a group of concerned onlookers gathered around them, Derek pulled out a badge and ID and held it up. “Homeland Security, Granny’s wanted for smuggling explosives.”

“She ain’t no terrorist,” somebody shouted from the crowd.

A woman yelled, “What’s next? You gonna strip her and do a cavity search?”

And ta-da! Maude miraculously transformed into a befuddled elderly woman. Big alligator tears rolled down her face as she sobbed hysterically, “Who are you? Why do you have my purse? Give it back. Where’s my son?” She wildly surveyed the growing crowd. “Charlie! Charlie? Where are you?”

Wonder how long it’ll take Sloan to realize he’s got the wrong granny?

Derek gently patted her shoulder and leaned down to whisper something in her ear.

Maude flinched and glanced over her shoulder.

The Tomb Raider’s predatory gaze locked on the corridor where I stood sorta hidden behind the palm tree.

Crap. I turned to run and crashed into a rock hard body. My apology died on my lips as I looked up at Dixon’s hard, chiseled features. Could this day get any worse?

He grabbed my right arm and hustled me through a door marked employees only. “Are you deliberately trying to blow my gig?”

“You set this up!?”

“Well,

it

wasn’t

your

fucking

Fairy

Godmother.” He dragged me down a long hallway.

“Why?”

He laughed. “Derek’s always charmed women into doing what he wants. Until he met you and you’re driving him nuts.”

“Oh.” I eyed his battered face. “Not revenge, huh?”

Dixon shrugged. “Some. I like taking things from Derek.”

“Some kinda family feud?”

“You could say that.” He unlocked another door, pushed me inside a small storage room and pulled an orange jumpsuit off a shelf. “Put this on.”

“Okay.” I took the jumpsuit. “Could you turn around?”

He snorted and yanked off my wig. “Not likely sweetheart. Strip.”

I carefully peeled off the itchy mask and dropped it in my purse. With a nervous glance at his mocking smile, I slowly unbuttoned my granny dress.

“A bit shy, huh? No need for that. I’ve decided we need to get better acquainted.”

Better acquainted? That sounded a bit ominous.

A gasp of horror broke from me when the big, bad biker suddenly produced a huge buck knife and with one stroke cut my dress in half. It pooled around my feet. “Are you nuts?”

“The cameras will be coming back on line in five minutes. Tic tock.” Dixon quickly cut off my padded body suit and his appreciative gaze roamed over my black lace bra and panties. “You’ve lost weight.”

“Ummm… Thanks?” Totally freaked out, I hurriedly pulled the jumpsuit on.

Dixon dropped a baseball cap on my head and opened the door. “Let’s go.”

“So, what’s the plan?”

“I get you to Vegas, you find the treasure and I become a very rich man.” He hurried me over to a golf cart and practically threw me inside.

“And Derek?”

“He can find his own gold.” Dixon put the cart in gear and sped down the service road.

I glanced over my shoulder when I heard Derek shout, “Dammit Dixon, stop or I’ll shoot!”

One look at the Glock Sloan had pointed at us and I dropped to the floor. “Think he’ll shoot at us?

He looks really pissed.”

“Nah, he can’t take the chance he’ll hit you or one of the airplanes.” Dixon whipped around a long, train-like baggage cart and shot down the tarmac to a waiting Bombardier Learjet with its ramp down.

“You have a Learjet?”

He shot me an amused look. “I travel a lot.” He brought the cart to a skidding halt, grabbed me and half-carried, half-dragged me up the ramp.

I caught a fleeting glimpse of Derek racing after us in the wildly snaking baggage cart which spewed luggage right and left.

Throwing me in a seat, Dixon secured the cabin door and commanded the tattooed pilot, “Go!”

The airplane accelerated rapidly, “We’re cleared for takeoff, boss.”

“Good. Fasten your seatbelt, sweetheart, we might be in for a bumpy ride.”

Glancing out the window, I saw Sloan was close to cutting us off with his baggage train. Was he nuts? I didn’t want to die in a big ball of fire.

The jet lifted off and we zoomed over Derek, barely missing decapitating him by a scant foot.

Dixon’s cell phone rang and he answered it with a smug grin. “You snooze, you lose. Fuck you, too, asshole. You never paid for her and I protect what’s mine.”

I could hear Derek’s rather profane curses.

“Nah, the mistake was yours. Once Zelda finds the gold, I’ll be a very rich man.” Dixon laughed at Derek’s response. “And the bonus is I get to pop her cherry.”

I stared at him in horror. Pop my cherry!?

Dixon held the phone away from his ear for a moment as Derek swore furiously. “I had her Aunt Sophie investigated and it seems she sold her soul to Asmoday. That particular demon is big into virgin sacrifice.” He gave me a meaningful look.

Dear God, did the entire world know I was a virgin? Was it stamped on my forehead?

Dixon’s grin got bigger. “I also got intel that dear Aunt Sophie put a million dollar bounty on Zelda’s head. Yeah, a million dollars and she has to be unharmed and get this, still a virgin to collect.”

I opened my psychic eyes and reached out.

“Granny I need you.”

She appeared next to me. “What’s wrong?”

“Can you find out if Aunt Sophie put a bounty on me?”

She nodded and vanished.

Dixon groused into the phone. “She’s talkin’ to herself again.” He listened for a minute. “A ghost, huh? Go figure. Nice chattin’ with you but I’ve got a cherry to pick. You might have a thing about virgins but I don’t. I kinda like the thought of being her first.” Chuckling, he closed his cell phone and stood.

I looked around frantically. Was there a parachute on this jet, cuz I was ready to jump!

The big, bad biker noticed my panic-filled expression. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll make it good for you.”

“Gosh, I’m a bit… Overwhelmed at your utterly romantic offer. Could I think about it for a year or two?”

“No.” Dixon leaned down until we were nose to nose. He placed a massive hand on each arm rest, effectively trapping me in my seat. “It’s an easy fix for a really big problem.” His lips caressed mine.

“Relax. You’re about to join the mile high club.”

Hallefrickinlujah!

My

dream

had

been

answered. Not! I shoved against his powerful chest.

“What about your wife?

“Sarah? What about her?”

“Don’t you think she’ll be hurt, betrayed and angry?”

“Nope, she divorced me six months after Amy was taken. She blamed me for the entire fiasco.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. How’s Amy doing?”

Dixon gave me a derisive look. “You’re stalling.”

Of course I was. The psychic women in my family were cursed. We were forever bound to whoever took our virginity. “Yeah, so? I don’t want to join the mile high club and I don’t want my cherry popped.”

“You’d rather be sacrificed to a demon?”

“Well no but…” His kiss was commanding, very thorough and left me cold. I jabbed him in the neck

with my handy-dandy tranquillizer ring. I had been saving it for Derek but this was an emergency.

He grabbed his neck. “What did you do?”

“No means no, asshole.”

Dixon roared, “What did you do?”

“I gave you an injection of Hydroxyzene HCL.

It’s rather fast acting. Nighty-night.”

His eyes rolled back in his head and he toppled to the floor.

“You aren’t popping my cherry you cock-sucking, knuckle-dragging creep,” I muttered furiously as I searched him. “The only one picking my cherry is Derek and there’s little chance of that happening. So I die a virgin, big friggin’ deal.” I pulled a . caliber Smith & Wesson from his ankle holster and discovered a pair of handcuffs tucked in his back pocket. Where the hell was the knife?

That’s when I noticed a slight bulge between his shoulders and lifted up his shirt. Dixon was wearing a harness with a nice quick draw knife sheath. Very carefully, I pulled it out and examined the razor sharp blade. Nice workmanship and it was perfectly balanced.