I Beat the Odds (24 page)

THERE ARE ALSO A NUMBER OF PROGRAMS that are dedicated specifically to children who have been placed in protective custody or are in foster care.

One group for which I’ve done some speaking is the
Treehouse
organization in Seattle, Washington. Their slogan is “Giving foster kids a childhood and a future,” and their entire purpose is to help kids and families who are a part of the system. They have six different branches that offer different kinds of support:

Treehouse is an incredible group that helps hundreds of kids each year. But in order to do what they do, they have to have volunteers who not only donate funds but also give their time to do things like organize donations to the Wearhouse, or give music or dance lessons for free or at a reduced cost. I mentioned this group because I have worked with them in the past and I’m familiar with the great work that they do, but there are lots of organizations like Treehouse in other cities. If you aren’t in the Seattle area, call around to see what programs might be doing similar work near where you live.

Aspiranet
is an organization in California that works to help foster children and families feel supported. They also work to help children who are eligible for adoption find forever families.
House of New Hope
, a private Christian non-profit group does similar work in Ohio.
Jewish Child and Family Services
, based in Chicago, has programs in place to meet the huge need in that city.
CEDARS
, a Nebraska-based organization, has several programs, including one that helps kids who try to run away. The
Searcy Children’s Home
in Arkansas specializes in helping siblings stay together in foster care.

In New York,
Little Flower Children and Family Services
specializes in helping abused and neglected children to help match them with strong, supportive families. They work with at-risk teens, too, to help straighten out their lives before they get into trouble and land in state custody. Their work also reaches out to disabled adults and seniors. Also in the northeast is
Casey Family Services
. They work in Connecticut, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, and Vermont, and provide “Foster care and adoption; family advocacy, preservation, and reunification; adoption support and other post-permanency services; [and] community-based family strengthening and resource centers.” The
Martin Pollak Project
is an organization in Baltimore that offers help with placement and support for foster kids and children who have recently aged out of the system; the
Center for Family Services
offers resources and support for foster parents in the city, too. The
Tennessee Foster and Adoptive Care Association
is one that does the same kind of work in my own home state, and
Monroe Harding, Inc.
in Nashville offers a lot of different care options, too.

Youth Villages
provides family structure and support for children in foster care across the southeast in Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Mississippi, North Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas, and also in the northeast in Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and Washington, D.C. A great feature about this organization is that it offers help to people up to twenty-two years old. So instead of just telling a kid “Good luck—you’re on your own now!” when they age out of the system at eighteen, it gives older kids in the foster care system a transition period to look forward to as they finish high school and look to start a trade school, college, or full-time work.

There are also a number of group homes and teen ranches all over the country. The
Florida Baptist Children’s Homes
have fourteen locations around the state to provide group home care for children in state custody.
Methodist Home for Children
is just one organization that places, supports, and advocates for foster children around the state of North Carolina.
Sunrise Children’s Services
operates in Kentucky and has a lot of different programs and locations around the state, from group homes to family support.

There are also the
Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch
(outside Amarillo, Texas) and
Cal Farley’s Girlstown, U.S.A.
(outside Lubbock, Texas), which offer group home options and have strong records of success. The affiliated
Family Resource Centers
in Amarillo, Austin, Dallas/Fort Worth, Houston, and San Antonio help families that are struggling to stay together and provide stable environments for their children, and support for the children who are trying to make it through school and become contributing members of society.

In Missouri there are at least a half dozen places like
Whetstone Boys Ranch
in West Plains, which is a new organization doing a lot of great work already;
Lives Under Construction Boys Ranch
in Lampe, which works with boys ages seven to twenty-one; and
Coyote Hill Children’s Home
in Harrisburg, which supports children from a lot of different types of family backgrounds.
Drumm Farm
in Independence specializes in caring for foster children, as well; Brodie Croyle, quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs, does work with them. He grew up around that kind of environment because his father, John Croyle, established the
Big Oak Boys Ranch
and
Big Oak Girls Ranch
in his home state of Alabama.

I know of a number of other really good ranches/group home environments like these in just about every state—some are state-run, some are private, some are religious. It’s worth doing a little research to find one that is a good match for your own interests so that you can feel good about your involvement. I should also add that places like these are usually happy to take all kinds of donations, sometimes even including gifts of older-model cars to help teach the young men auto repair. You get a tax write-off and the boys get a chance to learn responsibility and job skills.

In addition to Brodie Croyle, there are other athletes who are involved with helping foster kids, too. Myron Rolle, former Florida State All-American and Rhodes Scholar, runs a camp in the summer called the
Myron Rolle Wellness and Leadership Academy
. More than one hundred foster kids get the chance to hear motivational speakers, learn about physical fitness and nutrition, and most important, work on the confidence and skills to become good leaders.
Athletes for Charity
is an entire organization devoted to helping pro sports figures get involved in supporting and encouraging foster kids.

Some people have come up with creative ways to raise support and awareness. In August 2010, the singer Jimmy Wayne, who grew up in foster care himself, walked 1,700 miles from Nashville to Phoenix. His trip halfway across America was part of his
Meet Me Halfway
project, which aims to bring attention to older children in foster care who are aging out of the system.

Bethany Christian Services
is a nationwide organization that helps match foster children with adoptive families and helps adults looking to become foster parents learn valuable skills to reach the children put in their care. The
Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption
has as their slogan “Finding Forever Families for Children in Foster Care.” Started by Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy’s, they are one of the county’s biggest promoters of foster care awareness and adoption-support organizations. And
AdoptUsKids
has helped more than 13,500 foster children around the United States find permanent adoptive families.

Of course, don’t forget to keep your eyes open for the need right in front of your face. Leigh Anne and Sean call this “popcorn giving,” meaning you take care of the needs that pop up right in front of you. You don’t need to have a school or a formal program to get involved. The Tuohys and other families at Briarcrest didn’t. They didn’t go looking for a needy kid to help; they didn’t just close their eyes when one crossed their path. They saw a need and they each met it however they could.

Like I said, this is just a short list that barely scrapes the surface of all the great programs out there. I feel bad that I can’t mention them all, but I hope this will at least give you some ideas of places where you can find help or offer help.

The problem of abused, neglected, and at-risk children isn’t just a challenge in the inner city or in rural communities. It’s everywhere. It’s in every neighborhood and every school. If you grew up with a loving and supportive family, think about what they gave you. Was there someone there who cheered you on and challenged you to do better? Was there someone who guided you toward good decisions and away from bad ones? Now imagine that was taken away from you. Try to imagine what your life would have been like to have none of that support there. What would you have done? Would you be enjoying the same life you have today?

This is a problem we should all care about. These kids are the next generation, for better or for worse. Let’s all do what we can to give them the best shot possible at success. Think of the difference you could make—that you may already be making—just by looking around you.

Michael has experienced more in his twenty-four years than many people experience in an entire lifetime, and in order to really gain a fuller sense of all he has seen and lived we needed the help of many, many other people, ranging from family and friends to foster parents, former teachers, and DCS workers. Without their assistance we could have never helped Michael put together as complete a picture of his early life.

Ms. Bobbie Spivey is someone we cannot thank enough, not only for the time she gave us and the details she provided, but for the blood, sweat, and tears she dedicated to the Oher family and many others just like them for well over twenty years. Being a social worker is often a thankless job, but the dedication men and women in the field show is tremendous, important, and life changing. Thank you for all that you did and continue to do for the abused, neglected, and troubled children across the country.

Special thanks must be extended to Rob Johnson and Stacy Miller at the Tennessee Department of Children’s Services. Together with the staff there, they dedicated days searching for Michael’s records—even in the midst of the devastating Nashville floods that were impacting their city—and spent hours with us on the phone, explaining the breakdown of the system in the 1990 and how to help Michael find alternative sources of information about his past, and advising us on the delicate legal restrictions involved. Thank you, too, to Nancy Clark who put us in touch with the right people; to Zach Farrar, for his help with navigating the juvenile court system in Tennessee; and to the Shelby County Juvenile Court, for the records and documents they were able to provide.

Thank you to Velma Jones, for meeting with us and supplying us with many details about Michael’s time under her care, and to Ms. Verlene Logan, for talking to us about having Michael in her fourth-grade class. The memories you shared were fascinating and informative.

Michael’s family, especially Marcus, was invaluable, not only for the stories they shared, but also for helping to take us around to visit all the old neighborhoods. Craig Vail was a great help in that regard, too; thank you for being such a loyal friend and a strong support. Steve Henderson, you are such a hard worker and we appreciate you taking the time out of your work schedule and celebration upon having just graduated from Ole Miss to share with us some of your memories of Michael. Big Tony Henderson, thank you for making time for us, too, and for your interest and concern for Michael even as you were focusing on raising your own sons to be successful men.

To Sean, Leigh Anne, Collins, and S.J. Tuohy, thank you for all of your time and help with both stories and photos for this book. You always give us something to laugh about, and your family has certainly made an impact on many, many lives.

Of course, this story wouldn’t have caught America’s attention if not for the amazing writing of one of this country’s great writers, Michael Lewis, who penned the book
The Blind Side.
His book was spun into an even more amazing movie that was viewed by millions.

To Jimmy Sexton, John Haun, Heather Mundy, and everyone at Athletic Resource Management: Your help with coordinating all of the different pieces for this book was absolutely essential, and we are sincerely grateful for all of the energy, assistance, and support you provided in helping us to complete this journey into Michael’s past, as well as looking ahead to a very bright and promising future.

To Megan Newman and Miriam Rich at Penguin: Thank you for your tireless work editing this manuscript, helping us craft it into something that will have the maximum impact and truly reach people with the heart of Michael’s life and message. The great work of literary agent Scott Waxman made sure this story was told by the best possible publishing house.

Tiffany Yecke Brooks, who has been a wonderful partner during many writing projects, threw her heart and soul into this one. Her love of great stories and ability to help tell them made this come together.

The staff of the Baltimore Ravens was essential in helping us with fan mail, as well as allowing Michael the time he needed to work on this project. The Ole Miss staff was very accommodating in allowing us to work even while Michael trained. And the administration and teachers at Briarcrest Christian School were welcoming, warm, and helpful as we toured the grounds and conducted interviews. We are so grateful for the outpouring of support and encouragement that everyone at these schools provided for Michael.