I am Wolf (The Wolfboy Chronicles) (13 page)

“I know you will Sami. I trust you.”

T
he Queen escorted me
to the city
walls then handed me a blanket.

“I have kept this,” she said. “It was the same blanket
Elanorneth was wrapped in when she was handed to the human family. My servants brought
it back for me to remember her by while we waited for her return. Now I’m
giving it to you. It still has her human smell in it. Use your senses, your
wolf-senses and smell it. It will lead you in the right direction.”

I took the blanket and put it in my sack. As we were
about to say our goodbyes the Queen grabbed me and pulled me close to her. She
hugged me for a long time. Her body felt weird, I thought. Like putting your
hand in a strong wind, it was constantly moving, yet it stayed the same. The
hug felt good and somehow encouraging.

“Farewell, Wolfboy,” she said.

I waved goodbye to the Wind-people and the Queen and
let them put me into a wind-tunnel and send me back to the forest. The journey
through the tunnel felt incredible. Now that I knew it was safe I was actually
able to enjoy the ride. At the end of it I was shot out like a cannon-ball.

I landed on the soil of The Hoia-Baciu Forest.
Immediately there were voices, lights and colors in the air surrounding me.
They were circling me, whispering, giggling like little children. I greeted
them and got up. Then I began walking through the forest feeling suddenly very
safe and happy. This was truly a haunted forest, I thought. Haunted with the
most wonderful creatures, enchanted even. Now I was now a part of it, part of
this wonderful world that no one outside knew of. At least not many.

The small light ball from earlier was once again the
only one brave enough to speak to me. She approached me and circled my head a
couple of times before she stopped in front of my face.

“Well hi there,” I said. “Very nice to meet you
again.”

The ball of light giggled. “Likewise,” she said.

I walked towards the entrance of the forest, where I
remembered having entered. The light ball followed me.

“I have decided to let you know my name,” she said
with a sweet shy voice. From the corner of my eyes I spotted several Shadow-men
following me as well.

“Oh really? Well, I’m honored.”

“I thought you were safe since you went to be with the
Queen and all.”

I chuckled. “I guess I am pretty safe,” I said shaking
the shame off of me. Even if I had eaten from the human flesh I was determined
to not let this control me. I was not going to turn evil or lose my mind - at
least not without a fight. I was still in charge of this, my life, my wolf, and
if I didn’t get to do anything else in this lifetime, then I was going to save
Catalina and get her back as promised. That was my goal and more than ever I
was determined to stick to it. Before it was too late, before I lost myself.

I spotted the last row of trees in front of me and
braced myself for going back. The light ball swirled. Then she stopped as I
came close to the trees.

“Don’t go through there,” she said.

I stopped and sighed. “I have to, little friend.”

“But it’s dangerous. I’ve heard that place is haunted.
Evil dwells out there.”

I chuckled lightly. “So I have heard,” I said. I
opened my hand and let the ball of light into it. I thought I spotted a small
face inside of it. The eyes were nice and warm.

“You never did tell me your name,” I said.

“I’m not sure ...” she mumbled. “Not if you’re going
to take it out there with you. Why do you need it? Why is it important to you?”

“Because it makes it easier for me to remember you.”

“Ah. Well okay then. My name is Hwinniel. It means
twirling.”

“Of course it does. Well Hwinniel. Promise me you’ll
take good care of the forest and all your friends while I’m gone?”

“If you promise to come back.”

“I promise.”

“Then so do I.”

I left Hwinniel behind the trees while I took in a deep breath and
walked through the row of trees and back into my own world. The first thing
that hit me was the icy wind on my face. I turned and looked back at the
forest, part of me wishing I could just stay in there. It didn’t look like any
other forest, I thought. From the outside it seemed dark and sinister. No one
would ever know how much light and color was actually in there. Well, it was
all good, I thought. This enchanted world of creatures would be best off
remaining a secret to the outside world. Humans would only destroy it if they
knew.

I turned and looked at the main road ahead of me. In
the distance I spotted a car driving over the hill. I looked at the sky. It was
almost sunrise. The car’s headlights were flickering in the dusk. Was that the
same car that had been approaching just before I went into the forest? The car
I was hiding from? Had time been standing still? I had been gone for at least a
couple of days, I thought and began walking along the border of the forest
hoping the trees and darkness would hide me. The car drove on and disappeared
into the village. I thought for a second about Camelia and the man I had killed
in the village. It felt like it was something that had happened a long time
ago. Almost in another lifetime. I felt so different now, so changed. I took my
sack and pulled out the white blanket that the Queen had given me. Then I put
my nose in it and smelled it. Nothing. I couldn’t smell anything.

Use your senses, the Queen had said.

I thought about her words as I smelled it again. Still
nothing. Embrace who you are, she had said. I thought about the wolf in me, the
instincts. It was so much more than just a craving for meat, so much more than
just a beast living inside of me. I pictured myself as the wolf, looking like
Caspian in the painting then tried to force it to appear, force it to come. I
closed my eyes and searched inside of myself, into the very depths of my soul.
There it was, staring right back at me, its blue eyes shining in the darkness
of my inner self. Then it growled and howled. As I opened my eyes and felt my
face I realized it was back. The snout, the hairs, the ears.

But I still felt like myself, my human self. I had
forced it, I thought. It was here - on my command. With my wolf snout I smelled
the blanket again and closed my eyes.

That was when something truly amazing happened. I
smelled something, something strong that almost pulled in me. It was her, it
was Catalina. I saw pictures of her face in my mind, I saw her being pulled
away by Officer Alexandru and then I saw beyond that. I saw things I had no way
of knowing. Things, people, even smells coming from places I had never been. It
was things, people Catalina had encountered or places she had been in her life
as human.

I was somehow able to read her mind! Even if she
wasn’t near me. It was incredible, so strong, and so forceful I could hardly
stop. I suddenly felt so close to her, like I had known her my entire life.

I opened my eyes and looked at the snow-covered fields
in front of me. The sun had almost risen now. I stuck my snout into the air and
picked something up. A scent. It was hers, it was Catalina’s. It came from the
south.

While I felt how the wolf slowly disappeared again, I
picked up my sack and put the blanket back. Then I started walking south still
with the scent of Catalina in my nostrils.

 
I
walked most of
the day. When I came close to the
mountains I found a small valley to hide in at night when the change came and
the wolf needed to hunt and eat. I gave in to the wolf’s desires and let it
feast upon the deer and rabbits it found. I was happy to know that I hadn’t
lost interest in the taste of animals and I felt no cravings for human flesh.

I tried to do what the Queen had told me and embraced
my wolf fully, and soon I came to enjoy the hunt. I found a Chamois, a type of
mountain goat-antelope and chased it till it could run no more. I jumped it
from a huge rock and sunk my fangs into its fur and pierced the skin. The meat
tasted incredible. Next I found a group of lynx who spread as soon as they saw
me coming. I chased them down one by one. One of them ran in between a group of
trees to my amusement. I jumped from treetop to treetop, from branch to branch
and then finally attacked the animal from the air. I tasted the salty meat from
my prey and feasted for hours on foxes, Roe deer and even a wild boar.

By sunrise I was so full I lay my head down and fell
asleep in a cave as soon as I had turned back to my human form and gotten
dressed.

I dreamt of Catalina. It soon became an uneasy sleep,
almost like a nightmare. Pictures of her strained, in severe pain, starved and
crying flickered before my eyes. I tried hard to get a clear picture of where
she was and why she was in such distress, but all I could feel was her pain. Oh
how I felt it deep inside of me. She was hurting badly and she was afraid. So
very afraid. Where she was, I had no way of seeing. Through her eyes I could
only see darkness. I sensed that she was trying to open her eyes but she
couldn’t see anything. They had put something over her eyes so she couldn’t
see. She felt afraid. She remembered her Uncle who taught her never to fear,
that if you ever gave in to fear it would end up owning you, it would end up
controlling you. It was very dangerous to be afraid of fear, the uncle had told
her again and again during her childhood. Catalina now tried to control her
shaking body and shutting her ears to the terrible sounds that reached her from
other people in the same building where she was. She tried to visualize the
happiest moments of her life and suddenly I somehow got a rare image of her
childhood as a human. It had been happy, I could tell as many wonderful
memories streamed through her head. I laughed in my sleep as I watched her
dance and sing with her mother in their living room, or when I saw her sit on
her grandfather’s lap while he told her stories about elves and goblins.
Catalina was groping for means to find the strength for what she knew lay
ahead. She kept telling herself that she only had to endure a few more hours
maybe even days but then it would be all over, then she would be free, free to
go and make new wonderful memories even if her family was gone.

The last thing I heard was a door open and voices yell
at her to get up. When I opened my eyes I could still hear her scream. Then I
screamed as well.
 

I gasped and sat up in my cave. Outside it was snowing
again. I was panting, gasping for air. The feeling of her pain wouldn’t leave
me alone, it lingered inside of me and I couldn’t get rid of it again. I wiped
my cheek and realized I had been crying. I stared for a long time out at the
snow while trying to shake my dream. I told myself it was nothing but a dream,
even if I knew deep inside of me that it was so much more than that. I sighed
and picked up my sack and my hat, then walked outside of the cave and stared
into the sky. Huge snowflakes landed on my forehead and nose. I looked at the
big mountains. I had to cross these to get to the other side. I had to stay away
from main roads and the railroads where the soldiers were. The mountains could
cover me, but the journey across them would be rough and dangerous. With the
snow constantly falling it was going to be even more difficult than
anticipated.

I began walking towards the mountains while still
hearing Catalina’s screams in my head.

A few hours later I was approaching the foot of the first mountain when
I heard a noise coming from behind me. I turned and stared back at the valley.
The snow covered the ground heavily. Nothing moved, not even a branch in the
trees. Still I felt like something was there, or someone. I felt I was being
watched, like someone was looking at me. Just like I had felt in the barn on
that night with Catalina, I thought. I felt a set of eyes staring at me from
afar. But to whom or what did they belong? Was it just another animal trying to
hide from the winter and the wolf? I searched the area with my enhanced
eyesight, scanned the trees dressed beautifully in white snow, the small pond that
was frozen solid, the rocks on the other side, far away. But nothing caught my
attention. Not a movement, not an animal, not even a breeze in the air. I tried
to use my senses and smelled the air, trying to see if I could grab a scent,
smell if it was an animal or a human. A black crow in a treetop took off and
scared me. I decided it was nothing and kept on walking.