Hungry for Love (55 page)

“
Excuse me
,”
said Erin
,
who rose and marched over to her husband
’
s table and began a conversation that rapidly devolved into a shouting match. 

“
What are you doing
,
following me
?”
shrieked
Erin
at Henry. 
“
How did you find out where I
’
d be
?
  Are you hacking my schedule in the computer
?
  Had to hire a hooker to be your beard
?”

“
Go fuck yourself
,”
said Henry
,
as people around him looked moderately shocked and extremely annoyed at the shattering of their peaceful dinner hour.

“
I
’
m not a hooker
,”
said the woman
,
“
I
’
m his attorney.
”

“
Explain the difference
,”
said
Erin
,
staring down the inflated cleavage with a sneer.

“
I
’
m going to have to ask you to leave
,”
said the attorney.

“
I
’
m going to suggest you take makeup lessons at a new clown college
,”
said
Erin
.

Henry stood and signaled to the waiter to call security.

Bill looked toward the exit of the restaurant with deep yearning.  Couldn
’
t he just slip away and pretend he didn
’
t know these people
?
  He needn
’
t pretend—he didn
’
t know them.  But then what.  He
’
d surely see
Erin
at school and leaving her stranded at a restaurant wouldn
’
t be a good idea.

After tossing a glass of wine in her husband
’
s face
,
Erin
returned to the table.  Bill could almost see the waves of red
,
angry light rising from the top of her head as she seethed and spoke of her former husband and the financial tricks he
’
d been playing on her.  This rant went on for quite a while and Bill listened with only half an ear after a short time
,
although he nodded appropriately.  There was no need to ask a question to keep the conversation moving because apparently this woman could continue speaking without stopping for air.  Eventually she did stop speaking and just looked at him
,
clearly waiting for some comment
,
so he said
,
“
Well love is a battlefield like they say in the song.
”

“
Ah thanks for being so understanding and letting me rant.  Say—would you like to come home with me tonight
?”

Bill gulped.  All he could picture was one of those female insects that during copulation devour
s
the male. 
“
Gosh I can
’
t—kids at home
,
babysitter
,
you know.  In fact
,
we
’
d better get the check.
”

– TWELVE –

Butch and Wimp were having a nice lunch at the cute little deli down the street from Zero Tolerance. 
“
Wow
,”
said Butch
,
“
This place is much better than it was the last time we were here.
”

“
Yeah
,
for sure.  I almost didn
’
t want to come here today.  So are you ready to hear my news
?”

“
Ready as rain.
”

“
What
?
  It
’
s not raining.
”
Wimp stood up to look out the window to be sure.

“
It
’
s an expression.
”

“
It
’
s right as rain.
”

“
What does that have to do with being ready
?”

“
So this doctor called in a standing order today—hundred buck bouquet—daily—for his wife—and a two hundred dollar one on Saturday.  Sounds like some big time cheating to be atoned for.  Wonder how many weeks he
’
ll be good for.
”

“
Well
,
well aren
’
t you the Mr. Moneybags
,”
said Butch
,
smiling. 

“
The business is going very well
,
but with this windfall
,
I think it
’
s time.
”

“
For
?”

“
For me to take you on that trip to
India
you
’
ve always wanted to go on.
”

Butch sighed with pleasure and reached her hand out to Wimp. 
“
That
’
s fantastic.  Look at us.  Like an old married couple.
”

“
Yes
,
we
’
ve mellowed.  Like those two over there—the perfect couple.
”
  Wimp pointed across the deli to Bill and Laura
,
who were laughing about his recent dates.

“
Perfect
,
exactly
,”
said Butch. 
“
Nobody would hire us to teach him a lesson.
”

“
Nobody hired us to teach anybody a lesson
,”
said Wimp.

“
Don
’
t cast aspersions on the mood
,”
said Butch.

At another table Ben sat with Clint
,
eating panini and jicama slaws.  Clint spoke hesitantly
,
“
So how
’
s it going with you and Colette
?”

“
Oh I just love her
,”
said Ben
,
smiling. 
“
She
’
s such fun and such a wonderful person.
”

“
Yes
,
she is
,”
said Clint
,
“
And you love her.  Well
,
I
’
m happy for you.  Sad for me but happy for you.
”

“
Why are you sad
?”

“
Because oh never mind
,
just be happy.
”

“
Are we getting confused here
?”
asked Ben. 
“
Have you forgotten the plan
?”

“
You mean you and Colette getting married and moving away to have a bunch of babies
?
  No I didn
’
t forget.
”

Ben laughed. 
“
Wow.  I guess we really put that over.  It was a ruse
,
remember
,
to snap Angie out of her crush on that doctor and realize we
’
re meant for each other.
”