Howl (6 page)

“@ home & will call ASAP.” I hit send and
snapped my phone shut before walking into my house.

Our living room was usually bustling with
bodies and laughter as my family came together at the end of long
work days and this night was no different. Tristan had languidly
stretched himself out the length of the couch, a book propped on
his chest. Gavin, John, Will, Granddad, and Kylin were playing a
card game around our small corner table. Through accusatory shouts
and guffaws of laughter, it came out that Will had tried to cheat
and Kylin caught him in the act.

“How many times do I have to tell you all
‘Don’t play with Will. He cheats!’ But you don’t listen to me.” Mom
chided them as she sat, nestled in an armchair, hurriedly working
pink yarn on knitting needles.

Curled up on the floor, with her back against
arm of the couch, Lorelei nursed LJ while instructing Ethan on
changing a diaper. “You put it on backwards.” She giggled.

Ethan inspected the diaper lying across
Nina’s belly. “It looks right to me.”

“Try attaching it, genius.” Lorelei giggled
again. Ethan gave the diaper a once over glance and, irritated,
turned Nina on her side. “Oh.” He said, flipping the diaper around
and securing the Velcro properly.

“Have fun?” Mom glanced up from her
knitting.

“Yeah, it was nice to get out and reconnect
with an old friend.” The lie slipped out as easily as a greased
wheel.

I hung out with my family for less than a
half hour before retiring to bed. Or so I said. Once in my room, I
dialed Jaime’s number and turned the volume down to its lowest
setting.

“So I wasn’t eaten by any bears.” I laughed
as Jaime answered.

“Good because I want to see you again. As
soon as possible.”

“Not playing it cool, then?” I laughed again.
Or was it a giggle? The kiss had made me more than a little
delirious.

“Nope. Games are not my style.” He paused.
“So when are you free?”

“Well, I work almost everyday next week until
five. But any night after work…”

We chatted for close to an hour before
finally hanging up. After brushing my teeth and hair, I pulled on
my cotton pants and cami to go to sleep.

I was in no state to sleep though. I tossed
and turned, relentlessly switching between elated recalling of the
night’s events and terrified imaginings of the future. My want for
Jaime was countered by the need to keep my true existence a secret.
No matter how many times I tried to reconcile the two, they never
quite came together. Everything about Jaime made this decision
difficult. He was a good person, I didn’t doubt that. But would it
be enough? Even if it were enough, what end could come of this? He
was a human and me, a werewolf. That distinction separated us by a
harsh veil of secrecy and fear. I wanted to be with him but I
couldn’t deny that doing so would be an incredible act of
selfishness. Did I dare defy my pack and our rules just to be with
him?

One thing was certain: something happened
when we kissed. Somehow our individual futures became entwined just
as our lips had been. Whether it was for good or bad, I didn’t
know. By the time I felt my body drifting into sleep, I didn’t
really care. I mentally raised my white flag and surrendered. There
would be no fighting this. To an unknown future I would move
forward willingly. And it would be mine.

~Undercover~

Mom called up the stairs to me. I pushed
aside my MP3 player and opened my bedroom door.

“Did you say something Mom?” I called
out.

“I was hoping you might be going into town
today. I need a few things from the grocery store but I have to do
canning.” The days which Mom did her canning were some of the
craziest in our house. Canning made the kitchen a sweaty and
steam-filled miserable place. Lately Mom was enlisting Kylin and
Ethan to assist her. Even though their homeschooling finished by
early June, Mom insisted that their ‘education is never done
because they need to learn how to keep house.' I was always glad it
had to be them and not me.

“Sure Mom. Just make me a list.” I slipped on
my ballet flats and pulled my hair into a low ponytail. After
taking a twenty out of the grocery money jar in the kitchen, Mom
slipped the list and cash into my hand.

“Take the car because the milk will spoil in
this heat if you walk.” She said and waved me off, looking more
than a little frazzled from the workload of canning with two grumpy
fourteen year old boys.

I cranked up the AC as soon as I started the
car. Little prickles of chill danced across my arms as I made my
way down the winding roads of the National Forest into Kane. We
were having a heat wave here in the Icebox of Pennsylvania, so
named because the weather tends to stay cooler than anywhere else
in the state. At least to us, a week straight of 97 degree whether
is a heat wave. I turned up the volume dial for my sad little radio
and hopped back and forth between stations hoping to find a song to
match the mood in my car. Most stations seemed to be between
playlists. Commercials for laundry detergent, a used car sales
event, a news broadcast about a missing hiker in the National
Forest, another commercial. Finally I landed on a station playing
one of my newest favorites, an energetic song about summer by the
latest pop group. Twisting the knob as far as it would go, I sang
along to the chorus.

I pulled into the grocery store, list in
hand, and regretfully killed the engine but not before putting each
window all the way down. With this weather the car would be
blistering hot within minutes. As I headed from the scorching heat
into refreshing chill of the store, I grabbed a basket and set out
to find the items on my list as quickly as possible.

After paying, I headed toward the entrance
when the automatic doors swung open before me and in stepped Jaime
with Thomas by his side. There was a split second before they saw
me in which I considered running to hide but the moment was gone as
quickly as it came.

“Hey Thomas.” My face turned what I’m sure
could be considered the color of a radish, as my brother nearly
collided with me.

“Oh hey Sophie. Didn’t see you there.” Thomas
continued past me without skipping a beat. Jaime followed suit but
paused long enough to wink before returning to the conversation he
and Thomas had been having as they made a beeline for the deli
section. Grinning, I headed toward my car. No sooner had I unlocked
the driver’s side door when my phone went off in my pocket.

‘On lunch break w/Thomas- meet @ Evergreen
Park in 20 min?’ Jaime’s text sent a different kind of heat wave
across my skin.

‘Yes – c u then.’ This day just got a whole
lot better.

The usual screeches and stomping of little
feet along the wooden dragon that was the playground of Evergreen
Park were absent; surprising for a summer’s day, though I chalked
it up to the weather. I wouldn’t have been thrilled to be out in
this heat if it weren’t for the idea of spending even a few minutes
alone with Jaime.

I had plopped myself down on a creaky swing,
dug swirly pictures in the gravel with the toe of my flats, and
waited. Jaime’s Jeep pulled up along the curb. Inspecting the park
one last time to ensure our privacy, I bounded over to him with a
bit more enthusiasm than I had intended. Pinning him to the trunk
of a close pine tree, I threw my arms around his neck and pressed
myself to him. The gravel beneath my feet, the sun’s battering
rays, even the hum of distant cars, melted away. There was only
Jaime; his sensuous mouth, a slip of tongue, and hands that craved
to take in every curve of my body. It was as delicious as it was
dangerous.

Jaime broke away first and leaned his
forehead against mine. “I can’t stay long. I have a meeting with
some of the rangers at one-thirty. But I had to see you.”

“I’m glad you did.” I whispered.

“I’ve been thinking of you every minute of
every hour.” He delicately kissed my crown. “I haven’t seen you
since Tuesday. Today is Friday. That feels like an eternity.”

“It’s not easy getting away from my house;
you know that.”

“I do know. I just wish it weren’t this way.”
As far as Jaime knew, I wasn’t allowed to date guys my own age let
alone a guy who was 26. My family was strict – very strict. Though
I turned nineteen at the beginning of March, my parents still
treated me as if I were twelve.

It might as well have been true considering
the lengths I had to go to just to spend time with him. At first,
it was sneaking phone calls and text messages. Then it was hiking
far away trails when I told my family I'd be out hunting. Now I was
stealing time from Thomas on their lunch break.

The surreptitiousness of it was thrilling.
Cryptic messages, clandestine meetings, and stolen moments that
left too quickly. Jaime was my partner in crime.

“How did you manage to ditch Thomas?” I
asked

“Just told him I needed an extended lunch to
run errands before my meeting. He doesn’t seem to suspect anything.
I know you’ve been worried about that.”

“Yeah well, if anyone in my family finds out
about you, I’m dead.”

“That’s a bit of an overstatement don’t you
think?” He teased with broad smile.

“Okay not dead just…..” Imprisoned and
forbidden from being within ten miles of you.

“You worry too much. No one will find out.
Not yet, at least.”

My eyes whipped up to meet his. “Not funny.”
Every muscle in my body tensed at the thought of someone catching
me.

“Hey I only meant that your family can meet
me later. When you’re ready and they’re able to accept me as a
suitor.” The warm, cerulean light that danced in Jaime’s eyes eased
my tension. He had a way of calming me to my core.

“Come over later.”

“Sure. I'll just sneak out after dark.” I
said, only half-kidding.

“Then I could have you all to myself for the
night?” Jaime was serious.

“It's not like I can get away for a whole
night Jaime.” I stared at him. “Somebody will notice if I don't
come home.”

“I promise to have you back before you turn
into a pumpkin.”

“Jaime, I....”

“I'll have you back by dawn, I promise.”

I wanted so much to say yes. I hadn't been to
his apartment yet. And it would be a very welcome break from
worrying about whether or not we'd be spotted in public. But
getting out would be tricky. Was I really willing to sneak out of
my house like some rebellious adolescent just to spend more time
with him?

I mulled over the idea. “I guess I could wait
until everyone is in bed and then leave. But it might be late by
the time my family is asleep. And I’ll have to walk to your place.
I can’t start the car and drive away.” I gave voice to my plan as
it formed in my thoughts. “Would you pick me up at the research
center? I'll call you when I'm on my way and you can meet me.”

“Can't wait.” He gave me one more desirous
kiss and then left. A little piece of my heart aching, I watched
the wheels of his vehicle carry off the person I most wanted to
stay by my side.

~In dreams~

As a luminous Full Buck Moon punctuated the
dark blanketing our yard, I sat on my bed and waited for the right
moment to slip out. Soon as I was certain everyone was a sleep, I
opened my window and carefully dropped with barely a thud. My
window was just above the kitchen so no one should have seen or
heard me. At nineteen, I was only now resorting to sneaking out of
the house. Juvenile? Absolutely. But my fear of discovery grew
proportionate to my feelings for Jaime. I was desperate to see him,
to feel him next to me and just as desperate to not be found. And
my ‘night out with Emily’ excuses were becoming seriously limited.
This was how I rationalized it because if I let my thoughts linger
too long on the truth, well... I just didn't want to think about
it. So I didn't.

I punched the numbers for Jaime’s phone as I
approached the research center. Within minutes, his headlights made
their appearance amongst the trees, competing for greater
luminosity against the moon in the obsidian night. The contrast
between light and dark was more apparent than ever. For some
unknown reason, it struck a chord inside me.

“Hey princess.” Jaime planted a kiss as soon
as I slid into his Jeep.

“Right.” I grinned. Princess was about as far
from reality as possible. I much preferred muddy hiking boots and
low-slung ponytails to high heels and glittering tiaras. I doubted
Jaime would want me if I were high maintenance.

“So I have you all to myself for the night.”
He took my hand in the dark and curled his fingers around mine. It
was crazy what affect his touch had on me. It was such a simple
gesture yet it made me bubble from my toes up.

We pulled into the off-street parking space
for his apartment. Jaime led the way up creaking wooden steps to
the side entrance. His apartment was on the second floor of an
extra large old brick house that must have been converted into
separate quarters after serving its original purpose. The apartment
was small, more of efficiency than anything, though one person
wouldn’t really need tons of space.

The excitement of seeing his place for the
first time was intoxicating. My eyes took in every little corner
and nick-knack as if each was a piece to the puzzle that was my
lover. Every little item in the place clued me in to who Jaime was
when I wasn’t around. I examined pictures of Jaime and his brother
at a lake, fishing poles in hand, facing into bright sunlight that
crinkled their noses as they smiled. His college diploma was
prominently displayed next to a family portrait. I leaned closer to
examine the countenances of those who smiled back at me. Jaime has
his dad’s nose and his mom’s bright eyes.