Howl (4 page)

Thomas had bought a portable crib filled with
plenty of wooden toys. Wooden toys were an absolute necessity for
our kind for anything else would be ripped to shreds within
seconds. Even in our earliest infancy, werewolves are incredibly
strong. Fluffy stuffed animals and cheap plastic would yield easily
to our hands and later, our teeth.

Granddad had carved two baby rattles out of
unfinished maple and a wooden mobile with different forest
creatures to hang above the babies’ new crib. Tristan, who was even
more skilled at woodworking, had spent weeks carving the babies’
crib out of black cherry. On one side was an intricately whittled
image of two little wolf pups rolling in grass. Beautiful, serene,
and carefree the pups frolicked. Two of my quilted baby blankets
hung decoratively on the crib.

Everything should have been perfect. Except
that the excitement of the births couldn’t overtake my thoughts of
Jaime. His face kept trespassing into my mind throughout the
day.

I can be sensible, right? I was able to
forget Jaime once before, so I just need time. Or so I told
myself.

“Sophie? Earth to Sophie?” Tristan snapped
his fingers at me.

“What?” I realized that I had been drying the
same plate for a while.

“I asked if you would get more dishes off the
table for me to wash.”

“Oh! Sure thing.” I put my very dry plate in
the cupboard and brought Tristan another stack of cups, plates, and
silverware from the dining room table.

“What’s with you tonight? You’ve been kind of
lost in space all day.” Leave it to Tristan to notice my
distraction.

“Just thinking, that’s all.” I shrugged as he
handed me a casserole dish to dry.

“About what?”

“I don’t know. Just stuff.” Lame Sophie,
really lame. I thought.

“Oh-kay.” Tristan wasn’t buying it.

I stole a quick glance around the kitchen and
dining room before speaking in a hushed tone. “Look, I need you to
promise that this conversation isn’t going anywhere. Just between
you and me, got it?”

“Of course.” Tristan’s face grew dark. “Is it
bad?”

“It’s more of a what if scenario that I’ve
been thinking of.” I lowered my voice further and took a step
closer to my twin. “Say I found a human that I was maybe, ever so
slightly, possibly interested in – what are the chances that Gavin
would find out and if he did, what consequences might there
be?”

Tristan’s voice hardened. “Seriously?!” A
look of fear and anger was born in Tristan’s eyes.

“Nothing has happened!” I backpedaled.

“You better make sure nothing happens! No
human is to ever touch you.”

“You're a little hypocritical, don't you
think?” I jabbed.

“Don't even go there.” He turned his whole
body toward me. “Alina was a fling and you know that.”

“What about Maria? And Tess?” Bringing out
the ghosts of his human conquests struck a nerve.

“They weren't anything serious. I just hooked
up with them a time or two. And that's just between us, remember?”
His words came out in a ragged whisper as his eyes darted behind
me, no doubt scanning for bystanders who might hear us.

“But you broke the Code of Procreation.”

“You can't make that argument because it's
not the same thing.”

“It's the exact same! The Code says we are
not to breed or having any kind of sexual relation with
humans.”

Tristan glared at me, his mouth in a thin
line of irritation. “No duh. I grew up hearing the same rules you
did, remember?”

“It's still binding, even if you are male.” I
chastised him. “So you get to have your fun on the sly by I can't
even entertain the thought of human?”

That’s different and you know it. Thomas’
words burned in my memory as I considered how he breaks the Code
every night he goes home to his very human wife. Anger at the
unfairness of it bubbled in my belly.

“So I screwed some human girls in high
school. It's not like they were ever going to have puppies.”
Tristan glowered at having to defend himself. “But you are female.
In case you've forgotten, you'll have wolfkind children one
day.”

“Yeah, thanks for that information.” I rolled
my eyes in irritation. Who did he think he was - Mom? Every
werewolf knows the females pass the wolf gene.

“I'm just saying there are very real
consequences for you, beyond risking the anger of your Alpha by
breaking the Code. You belong to your pack until you are mated.
With wolfkind, not a human.”

I seethed. “I'm not a piece of property!”

Tristan's eyes softened slightly. He sighed.
“I know. I'm sorry Sophie. It's antiquated and anti-feminist I
guess, but that's the way it is. It's not like in the days before
the Blood Wars. Our secrecy is more important than ever. So just
forget whatever crazy idea you have about this human.”

“Fine.” I shook my head in disgust.
“Whatever.”

Though Tristan’s jaw muscles relaxed a
little, he went back to washing the dishes with a little more
energy than necessary. He wouldn't say a word about our argument to
anyone, I was sure of it. I had kept his trysts secret for him and
he would keep my seditious thoughts secret for me. But that didn't
mean he condoned following through with them.

I held in a bitter swell as Tristan and I
finished the dishes in silence.

*

Before I knew it, the Farmer’s Market opened
and I was back to work. I was basically left alone by my register
until the occasional customer would need to be rung up. Once in a
while I would lift heavy boxes for the stock boys or help make
flower arrangements. For the most part, my interactions with others
were kept to a minimum. Most people would probably find my job
boring but in a way, it was perfect. I’m not a loner, just quiet.
Added to that, I worked with humans. What would I have to talk
about?

The only downside was, all the time I spent
not interacting with people, I was a slave to my imagination.
Silent movies played over and over. Images of a world in which I
could make my own choice of mate, werewolf or human.

Silently I whiled away my hours, playing
make-believe in my head and bringing home a small but important
paycheck.

Then the afternoon came when I caught his
heady scent above the fragrant bouquet of flowers and vegetables. I
instantly spun around to see where he was. Jaime couldn’t actually
be here, could he? I smelled him on the air. I couldn’t have
imagined it. Could I? His scent wasn’t one I’d likely forget and
certainly not one I’d confuse with another.

No, he has to be here. I turned around
again.

No Jaime.

Where was he? I took in each face in the
market; customers examining flowers and squeezing watermelons,
stock boys carrying crates of veggies, my manager talking to an
elderly lady. Excitement tinged with fear bubbled in my belly. Why,
oh why was he here? It was getting harder and harder to not think
about him and this was so not going to help. Maybe just one last
conversation and I could be content. Maybe?

“Hey Sophie.”

I could have sworn my heart stopped for at
least two beats. Turn around, turn around, turn around!

Jaime’s eyes shone the most amazing azure. He
could have been an angel.

“Hi, Jaime.” I tried to sound casual but it
was excruciatingly difficult. “How is your friend’s arm?”

“He’s healing.” Why does he have to smile
that way?! “I think I was finally able to convince him to get some
help.”

“Good. Sounds like he needs it.”

“Yeah, well, I think this was a wake-up call.
No pun intended. Anyway, he's checked himself in a clinic outside
of Pittsburg.”

“You're a good friend, you know that?”

“Trying to be.” Jaime shoved his hands in his
jeans pockets and shifted his weight. I caught the sound of his
heart beating violently. Shock overtook my senses for a moment. He
couldn’t possibly be nervous talking to me. It was
incomprehensible.

Neither of us spoke for at least a full
minute. I fidgeted while Jaime simply smiled awkwardly, which only
served to cause an intense round of blushing on my part.

“So,” Jaime finally broke the silence. “I
didn't know you work here.”

“Since it opened. I work most days of the
week.”

“That's strange; I'm not sure how I missed
you before.” Jaime pulled a battered piece of paper from his
pocket. “I do a lot of grocery shopping here.”

I held out a quivering hand for the paper.
“Want some help?” Heart pounding like a jackhammer, I took his list
and grabbed an extra-small cardboard box which serve as the
market's shopping carts. Making our way through the market Jaime
and I filled the box.

The heavy summer air seemed to intensify the
scent of Jaime as he stood so close. Twice I stumbled while
walking. Jaime didn't bother to stifle his laughter. I pretended to
be offended as I commented that I'm really not clumsy. “You smell
and it's distracting.” I stuck my nose in the air in mock
contempt.

Jaime laughed again. “Showering only once a
month will make anyone smell.”

Too soon we gathered his vegetables and I
rang up his purchase. Reluctantly, I handed Jaime his bag. I wanted
so much for him to stay, for this moment to last all afternoon.

“Hey listen, I’d like to take you out this
weekend. Maybe dinner Saturday night if you’re free?”

Thoughts struggled to morph into words. I
wasn’t sure I was even still breathing.

Yes… Didn’t I tell Tristan that nothing would
happen?

No… I wanted him.

Yes… This was so wrong.

No…

Split decisions are not my specialty and
certainly not ones made under duress.

“I, uh....I'd love to.”

“Maybe I can pick you up around six?” Oh no.
I stopped cold.

“Oh, well my house is next to impossible to
find. We live a few miles from the research center. It would be
easier to meet you somewhere.”

“You live in the National Forest?”

“Yes, but even if you know what roads to look
for, it’s extremely easy to get lost.”

“I could meet you at the center if that would
be easier.” Jaime offered.

“Okay.” I nodded, relief washing over me.
“The research center at six. I’ll be there.”

“Alright then.” Jaime grinned as he turned to
leave.

“Wait.” I was entering dangerous ground. “I
need you to not mention this to Thomas. Please? I'm nineteen but my
family is…um…they have this thing about….” I scrambled to finish my
thought. What kind of lame but reasonable excuse was there?

Jaime leaned in toward me. “I never intended
to tell Thomas. We work together as professionals and now I have a
date with his little sister.” He flashed one last, radiant smile.
“It’s one date. It’s not like we’re getting married.”

~Particle physics
in action~

By the time I got home, I convinced myself
that it wouldn’t really amount to anything. One, maybe two dates
but no more. It wasn’t really possible for us to have that much in
common, I rationalized. We would talk and find out that initial
attraction didn’t really lead to anything and we would part on
friendly terms. And then I could walk away from the situation with
a clear mind and heart. And no one needed to know. No harm, no foul
- right?

Saturday even came faster than it should
have. I put on my favorite green peasant top with embroidered red,
blue, and white flowers around the left hip and my velvet soft
jeans that I had bought myself several years back. They were so old
and faded but they seemed to look good with everything. And they
made me feel more confident than I should have been considering
what I was about to do. I wasn’t normally a rule breaker. But this
wasn’t going to become habitual. I had made a pact with myself.

It’s just one date.

I took a blow-dryer to my hair until it was
mostly dry and then put it back into a long braid. I would let it
stay in the braid as I walked to the research center. This was the
easiest way for me to get any sort of dimension in my hair. I loved
the big, flowing waves of my dark golden hair when it fell a little
wild around my shoulders and back. As I was plaiting my braid I
took a good look in the mirror, studying my face.

When I was in Kane High School I knew so many
girls who criticized themselves constantly. They would complain
about this or that imaginary defect. I never really understood why
they talked like that. I liked how I looked. I never thought I was
a beauty or anything but I didn’t think I was ugly. I was happy
with my face. I have these slightly exotic looking grey eyes that
are pretty much a legacy in a werewolf family. My hair is a pretty
color, like dark, raw honey but with some sun-bleached streaks. My
face is kind of angular but still soft. I am very athletic but
that’s because of what I am. My wolf brings with her great speed
and strength.

I stopped studying my face and opened my
medicine cabinet. I kept a little basket in there with some mascara
and lip gloss. I usually wore very little, if any, makeup. It just
wasn’t practical to be all dolled up if I were out hunting. Makeup
would get ruined quickly. I never wore nail polish for this same
reason. Normally when I’d get home from being outside I had to take
a nail brush to my nails to get all dirt out so nail polish wasn’t
really sensible.

I was about to put on some of my mascara when
a thought occurred to me. I walked downstairs to Lorelei’s
apartment and knocked on the door. “Come in.” I heard John call to
me. I stepped inside their apartment and John asked if Lorelei was
around. “She’s in the kitchen making some tea.”

I walked through their hall into the tiny but
bright kitchen that was really only big enough for two people if
they weren’t moving at all. Lorelei was standing at the little
stove boiling some water. “Hey, Sophie. Do you want some tea?”