How The Cookie Crumbles (43 page)

“You guys must have known each other a long time for Jake to invite you to stay here.”

“We know each other well,” Frankie darted a look at me, but I waited to hear what bullshit she was going to sling next.

“I guess Jake was smart enough to know he’d get a roommate and a cook, all rolled up in one big package.” Aspen smiled brightly at Frankie.

“Almost as good as being a saleswoman-slash-actress,” Frankie smiled back.

“Okay! Can I get some help with dishes?” Domer broke in, rising from the table.

After dinner, Domer and I were watching some hockey highlights. Frankie had gone to her room. I figured that Aspen would probably want to take off, she liked to get her beauty sleep before big events, and she was doing some hostess gig at a big film industry event tomorrow. But she sat right up close to me, and started slipping her hand under my t-shirt, feeling my chest, pinching my nipple, and kissing my ear at the same time. Domer gave me a pained looked and cleared his throat.

“What are you doing?” I whispered to Aspen.

“It’s foreplay, Jakey,” she whispered back, giggling, “I’m surprised I have to tell you that!”

“Okay, well I think we’re going to call it a night.” I told Domer loudly, since he had cranked up the volume trying to ignore us. It was before 10:00, but what the hell, she had given me a boner.

Aspen was really into sex tonight. She wanted to do it in all kinds of positions, and she kept screaming and moaning and making a ton of noise.

“Aspen, shhhh baby, I’ve got roommates,” I told her after one really loud scream.

“Sorry Jakey honey, it’s just so good.” She was quieter for a bit, then once we started up again, she screamed, “Ohhhhhh my Goooooood! Fuck me harder, Jake!”

What was up with her?

Noise cancelling headphones

I was finishing up the list of things I needed to buy tomorrow. If I knew that Jake was going to have a hot girlfriend and I was going to have to listen to them having sex, I might have rethought this whole internship. Or at least where I was going to live during the internship.

It was hard to be calm when this whole deal was painful for me. It was one thing to know the right thing was not to interfere in someone’s relationship and another to have to see that Aspen was totally wrong for Jake, even if he had no clue. Plus I had to hand it to Aspen, by claiming not to be into relationships, she had seemingly maneuvered Jake into one.

The way the bed was thumping next door, I had a vision of the two of them crashing through the wall and landing in my room, like in some stupid frat boy comedy. Sleeping was not going to be possible right now.

I gave an exasperated sigh and went out into the living room where Luke had the TV volume up to the kind of level my granny used. I remembered guiltily that at one time Jake and I had been so noisy that Luke had left for the weekend. What goes around.…

“What are we watching?” I asked, wrapping my robe around me.

“Duck Dynasty,” he replied from deep inside the armchair.

I sat down on the couch. I had a good idea how long Jake could last, and unless they went another round, I could go to bed soon.

52. Friends

I put off talking to Bianca and Chloë for as long as I could, but finally I had to update them on Skype. At first, I vented about feeling inadequate at work. Everyone seemed way more qualified than I was.

“And talk about stressed, I’ve been baking daily,” I frowned and then smiled. “It’s like a miracle though, the stuff I make magically disappears and the boys both want to take me grocery shopping so they can suggest things I might like to make next. I’m cooking all the time, but I’ve actually lost two pounds since I got here.”

“Sounds like hell to me,” grumbled Bianca. She hated cooking.

“You know how I am, I love cooking for people and baking relaxes me. It’s like yoga or running for most people.” I shrugged, I got this all the time. People loved to eat your cooking, but they looked down on you for doing it. Some kind of pseudo-feminist reaction. Luke and Jake loved my cooking, ate everything, and encouraged it.

“So,” said Chloë, “how’s it going with Jake?”

“Um, well, I have to tell you. My plan to get him to reconsider the whole relationship thing has hit a huge roadblock. He’s got another girlfriend. I mean, he denies it’s a relationship, but they go out a lot, make out, and everything….” My voice trailed off, I certainly didn’t want to get into all the details, which thanks to thin walls I was privy to.

“He kisses her in front of you? When did all this happen?” Bianca demanded.

“I saw her the first night I got here.”

“Are you kidding me? What a tool!” Bianca’s fierce face was scary, but Chloë’s sympathetic one was more painful.

I nodded, but then I remembered how sweet he was on the night he rescued me, and how he leased that car for me, and I felt a little disloyal for even complaining. “It’s my own fault… for assuming that we were anything. He did warn me. I’m just grateful to get free room and board. And Jake rented a car, just for me.”

“Really?” Chloë seemed to be reading something significant into this. I had wondered myself, but I figured it was partly so he wouldn’t have to take me grocery shopping anymore.

Bianca shook her head. “Puhleese, Frankie, you hung out with him all summer, he saw you when the team was here, you visited him twice in L.A., and he invited you to stay with him! It’s not like you were jumping to ridiculous conclusions!”

I nodded, feeling better that I hadn’t been a complete idiot.

“So, tell us about the competition.”

“Okay, Aspen’s naturally beautiful. She wears these throwaway clothes, ragged jean shorts, holey t-shirts, Indian cotton tops, and looks great in them. I don’t think she even owns lingerie, I’ve seen her in boy briefs, made for actual boys with Thomas the Tank Engine or something on them. Oh yeah, apparently she can surf and she has this amazing watch, I think it’s a Rolex diving watch, so mega bucks. And she’s tall, blonde and very California-y, but not totally dumb. I guess she’s the kind of girl an NHL player would date.” I tried to sound casual, but I couldn’t keep a slight quaver out of my voice.

“You’re beautiful too! And smart.” Chloë reassured me.

“Yes, but I’m beautiful after an application of makeup, donning my carefully tailored clothes and fixing my hair. I’m not roll-out-of-bed-after-a-night-of-sex-put-on-my-flipflops-and-then-look-beautiful.” I sighed. “The other morning, she walked to the bathroom naked and she has no tan lines.”

“Naked! In front of you!” Chloë was aghast. Bianca made a face too. Back at our apartment, we didn’t even like to see belly t’s at mealtimes.

“Yup. I was having breakfast, and Luke was there too. I don’t know how he felt, but I had to throw out the rest of my food.”

“Still, that name, Aspen?” said Bianca. “Did she fall out of an aspen tree or something?”

“No, my guess would be that she was conceived on a ski hill,” I declared. “Good thing it wasn’t Jackson Hole.”

“Or Beaver Valley,” said Chloë giggling.

“What! Where’s Beaver Valley?” Bianca was cracking up, and I was too.

“It’s here, in Ontario,” gasped Chloë between giggles.

“Sorry, but that’s her nickname from now on,” I declared, laughing. “I’ll call her BV for short!” We all started snickering happily. Nothing like mocking a rival to make you feel better. “I’m pretty sure she’s older than him,” I added. “And I think she’s using him, but I’m not getting involved.”

“She sounds horrible. You should get in there and break them up,” Bianca urged me.

“Nope. I would never do that.”

“Why not?” Bianca wondered. “If she’s not good for him.”

“Look, Jake’s a big boy. If that’s what makes him happy.” I shrugged. “Besides, breaking up couples is wrong, what goes around….”

“Two weeks in Cali and you’re already all karma chameleon,” said Bianca disgustedly. “Why don’t you do what would make you happy?”

“No, that kind of thing always backfires, and I wouldn’t feel right. Believe me, I’ve had guys in relationships hit on me, and offer to leave their girlfriends. But how could you ever trust a guy like that? Anyway, just because Aspen is gone, it doesn’t mean Jake would go out with me instead. There’s probably a line-up of prospective girlfriends if he wants one.”

Bianca shook her head, “Well, any smart guy would appreciate you for the incredible person you are. Good riddance. So moving on, is there anyone else? What about Luke Dominick, he’s a good hockey player.”

“Bee! I can’t go out with Luke! He’s, like, Jake’s best friend!”

“Jake’s best hockey friend,” Chloë corrected me.

“Okay, well is there anyone else on the Kings you can date? Let’s see, who’s cute on that team?” I could see her mentally running down the roster in her mind, or maybe she was checking out an online team photo. “Mmm, Nick Love is good-looking, but I think he has a girlfriend. Wait, they’ve got that new defenceman, um, Christian Bauer, he’s actually your type: blond and boyishly cute.”

“Bianca, you know how weird it is that you know all this, right? But no teammates! I see enough of Jake at home, I don’t need to see him in my personal life too. If I date, I’ll have to look elsewhere.” I was starting to warm up to the idea. Hollywood would be full of good-looking guys. Why shouldn’t I date too?

“You go, Frankie,” Chloë urged me. “You’re so good at getting dates. And then maybe Jake will realize what he missed out on.”

“Stop, Chlo,” I replied. “You’ve got to give up on this whole fantasy. Jake’s not into me, he never really was, and it’s never going to happen.”

Chloë looked sad. “I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have pushed this if I knew he was going to be mean to you. He didn’t seem like that kind of person in the summer.”

I couldn’t disagree with that statement, but I was never going to move ahead if I kept dwelling in the past. If Jake could see other people so easily after everything that happened between us, so could I. Clearly, I had been stupidly romantic, as usual.

I didn’t always have to rely on Skype for my friends these days. I had my gang at work: Franco, Leon and Sofia; we lunched together and went out for drinks after work. There was another friend, Janie, who I met when we were fighting over the same retro dress at a rummage sale.

I still saw Ella occasionally, but she had found her rightful place among the other gorgeous wives and girlfriends, and I didn’t even go to games. But I did have one unexpected friend from the WAGs. When I first met Anne Rhodes at the Kings game in October, I had thought she was kind of bitchy. She basically announced that I had no chance with Jake, and then left. But now that her pronouncement had come true, she turned out to be pretty nice. Luke had offered me up as a sacrificial volunteer for a charity event so he and Jake could sleep in, and Anne came by the house to pick me up.

“So, you and Jake broke up, but now you’re living with him?” Anne asked as she eased the car into traffic, getting right to the point as usual.

“Uh, kind of,” I replied. Was it necessary to explain we had never really gone out? “I got a chance at this dream internship, so I came here. It’s very nice of Jake to let me stay here.” I hoped my smile didn’t look too fake as I said this.

“But you still like him?” she asked, turning to give me a searching look. Did she not need to pay more attention to the road?

“What would the point of that be? Jake has a girlfriend now.”

“Oh, does he? Billy never mentioned that. And I noticed that you didn’t really answer my question, but it’s probably not my business anyway. So, Luke tells me you’re very organized.”

“I am.” Now we were on a subject I could talk safely about. “I love to make lists and be on top of things.”

“Perfect. That’s what I like as well.” Then Anne started explaining all the details of this family day that we would be working on and what she needed help with. We ended up getting along really well, and she told me that she’d like to call on me to help her out with charity events she was working on for the Kings. I guess I was an honorary Kings girlfriend, except without the boyfriend.

Not that it was all work; she and Billy were hosting a little team get together, and she invited me to come as well. I tried to duck out of it, but she insisted.

“It’s not until the end of the month, just before the All Star Break. After that the guys are going on a long road trip, because they need the arena for the Grammys. They’ll be gone for most of February, so it’s good to see everyone. If you’re doing all this work for the Kings, you should have some fun too. I’ll get Billy to pick you up when he goes to get the cake and the ice, and then you won’t have to depend on Jake and Luke.”

Her voice implied that they were not very dependable, and it would be nice not to have to arrive with those two and their dates. Being a third wheel was new for me, and I was pretty sure I didn’t like it.

53. Extreme Home Makeover

Jake

It didn’t take long for Frankie to start changing things around the house. Domer noticed faster than I did.

“There’s something different about the windows,” he said, looking up from the TV where we were gaming.

“They’re clean,” remarked Frankie. She was doing some art history reading from a huge book. I had never seen her with glasses on before, but she looked kind of cute in the way that the smart girls at the front of the classroom do.