How He Really Feels (He Feels Trilogy) (30 page)

He pulled away. “Our reservation is in thirty minutes, and we’ve got a bit of a drive from here to get there,” he said. “As much as I want to stay here and kiss you all night, we’ve got to go if we are going to make it.” His voice was hoarse and sexy.

I reluctantly agreed, and we were on our way. Nick opened the passenger door of his BMW for me and then got in the drivers’ side.

We arrived at the restaurant exactly on time for our reservation, and he held my hand as
we walked in together. He was so handsome, and he made me feel special just standing by my side.

“Matthews,” he said, as the hostess asked for our reservation. She smiled flirtatiously at Nick, as many women did upon meeting him, and then took us to our table. We weaved through the filled restaurant and arrived at our own table. It was a private table, a circular booth in a cozy corner. The walls were all lined with windows, and the window by our booth looked out upon the mountains. It was all very romantic.

We chose an expensive champagne to celebrate, and we ordered our entrees – me with the beef wellington, him with the bacon wrapped filet – and we spoke of jobs past, present, and future, as we waited for our food.

“What was your first job?” he asked me.

I thought back. “Babysitting, I guess. My first real job was at a department store in the mall. What about you?” I asked.

“Well, my stepdad owned
his own company and had a lot of money, but my mom wanted to instill in me the value of a dollar. They insisted that I start working at a young age, and around thirteen I did some work for them. Apart from that, my first job was at a Target. I worked with all my friends from school and we had a blast,” he said, smiling at the memory.

Our food arrived, and we hungrily dug in. It was absolutely scrumptious, by far the best meal that I had ever eaten, and our wait staff was incredibly attentive. My champagne glass was never less than half full. For dessert, I ordered cheesecake, and Nick ordered a triple chocolate layer cake. The whole experience was phenomenal.

We headed back to Nick’s place after dinner, and he took me into his arms in the kitchen and kissed me. It was the most romantic kiss that I had ever experienced. It was gentle but fiery, lusty but loving. My heart raced as I was lost in him. Nothing went through my mind except him. His familiar scent, my favorite aroma, mixed with his kiss and his touch, made me feel dizzy with delight as his warm lips encompassed mine. I couldn’t believe how perfect everything had turned out for us. He had a new job all lined up, we were back together, and life was good. We kissed that way for what seemed like mere seconds when Nick gently broke from me and looked at me a bit anxiously.

“I love you so much,” he started. “We’ve been through a lot together in a really short period of time. We’ve moved our relationship along at lightning speed, and it’s been incredible.”

I noticed that he sounded nervous, and it was making me nervous, too. I wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but alarm bells started to go off in my head. Did he want to slow things down? Did he think we were moving too quickly? I know that I didn’t feel that way; I felt like things were perfect. But then why did he say that we were moving quickly? “Nick, it’s been great for me, too,” I interrupted.

A smile played at his lips, and lowered his head to gently kiss me. This time when he broke, he tensely said, “I need to talk to you about something.”

I became panicky as he continued. “It’s going to be tough when we don’t get to see each other every day at work. So I got to thinking of solutions for that. I need you Julianne. I need to see you, to be with you, every day, to hold you in my arms every night. Our brief time apart showed me that. I am so in love with you. So, I want you to move in with me.”

I felt like I didn’t even need to think about my answer.
“Of course. Yes! I would love to move in with you!” I kissed him firmly on the lips. Tears of joy and excitement began to run down my face as I realized how serious our relationship was, even though so much had happened so quickly.

I was shocked and relieved. I didn’t know where he was going with the way he began the conversation, but I was thrilled with the outcome. I had never lived with a guy before – except Travis, for a few weeks in college – but never romantically. I was positively euphoric at the idea of living with Nick.

He broke from me first, beaming. “I can’t wait. When can you move in?” he asked.

I grinned from ear to ear, utter joy permeating every fiber of my being. “My lease on my apartment is up at the end of next month, so
it’s good timing. I have to give notice thirty days in advance, but I can start moving anytime.”

He picked me up and twirled me around excitedly. He put me back on the ground and kissed me. “I can’t wait. You are going to love living with me,” he smiled.

I knew I would. Everything was going to be perfect. He was so sexy and so perfect and so all mine. I was thrilled that things were going to work. My broken heart was back in one piece again.

Chapter 19

When we woke up the next morning, the reality of what was going to happen actually set in. I was moving in with Nick. I looked over at him, still asleep, resting peacefully against the pillow, and I couldn’t help the smile th
at formed on my lips. I thought about how I was going to wake up next to him every single morning. I watched him breath evenly in and out as I thought about our future together, fantasizing about being with him forever. I rested my head back down on my pillow. I heard Nick take a deep breath and then stretch out. He was awake.

“Good morning,” I smiled as he opened his eyes to take in the day.

A sleepy grin spread across his face. “I had a dream last night. About you.”

“What was I wearing?” I rolled my eyes.

“It wasn’t like that. It was about work.”

“Oh,” I said, not hiding my disappointment.

“No, baby, it was a good dream. It was about my new job. But you were there with me. You were on my team, and our relationship didn’t matter. It was perfect,” he said, reveling in his dream.

“That’s sweet. Too bad it would never work,” I said, a little wistful once again that he was leaving McMillan.

“Why couldn’t it work?”

“Well, because if they have a dating policy like McMillan, we wouldn’t be able to work together.”

“But what if they don’t?” he asked, and I could see the wheels turning in his head. “What if I told Brennan about our situation, and I also told him what an asset you would be to the company?” He rolled over so that he was on his side, arm propped up on his elbow.

“He’ll just think you’re getting me a job
cause I’m your girlfriend. I can deal with where I am for now,” I said, thinking back to Tom Davidson’s conversation with Nick – a conversation I wasn’t supposed to know about, but one that hurt me, not to mention my self-confidence at work, nonetheless.

“Seriously, Julianne.
If you are even a little interested, this company pays well, and it’s closer to home. I mean our home, here, since you’re moving in,” he put his arm around my waist and kissed me on the cheek.

“I want to keep working with you, but isn’t that a lot of time together?” I asked. “A lot of couples have a hard time adjusting to moving in together, but we would be working together, too. We would literally be together all the time. Would you be okay with that?”

“Oh yeah, baby. I would be okay with that,” he smiled, leaning toward me and pressing his erection into the side of my leg. “Wouldn’t you?”

“I would love that, Nick, but I don’t want it to create issues for us.”

“It won’t. You’ve got so many great ideas in that gorgeous head, and I don’t want you working for the competition. I want you on my side, with my company. Don’t you think we’d get into more arguments about work if we were at competing companies?” he argued. He was damn convincing. This was sounding better and better.

“Don’t get too worked up about it until we’re sure that it is even a possibility.
Like I said, if you have to sign an agreement like the one you signed for McMillan, us working together won’t even be an option.”

“We’re putting together a team; that much I know. You will come highly recommended, both from Davidson and from me,” he said.

I looked over at him. “From Davidson?” I asked.

“Yeah.
He knows how good you are.”

“Are you sure?” I pried, not wanting to let on that I knew what Davidson really said about me.

He nodded. “Breakfast?” he asked, changing the subject.

I decided not to call him on it, but the whole idea of Davidson thinking I was a good worker was stuck on my mind. I knew what he said about me, that I was basically disposable in favor of Nick, but I was eavesdropping when I heard that. I decided to wait it out to see what happened on Nick’s last two days of work. Maybe I would catch another conversation that I could call him on.

“Breakfast sounds great,” I said. “You cooking?”

“I was just going to ask you that,” he chuckled, kissing me on the forehead.

I headed home later that afternoon to start packing my stuff to get ready to move in with Nick. He had things to do in order to get ready for his new job while closing out his old one. Plus he had to make room in his house – and closet – for me.

When I got home, my answering machine said that I had two new messages.
That’s weird,
I thought, since usually people just called my cell phone. I checked my cell, and I had no missed calls.

The first message was from Tom Davidson. He wanted to speak with me first thing in the morning. That one made me a little nervous. But it was the second one that shook me to the core.

“Hey, it’s me,” Travis’s voice began. His tone sounded exhausted and something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I heard more than sadness, almost like defeat. “Um… So I hate how we left things. I don’t want you to be mad at me for talking to Nick, but he deserved to know what happened. Anyway. So, the real reason I called is to let you know I’m going to live with my friend Dan for awhile in San Diego. I just need something different. I have to get away from all of this… uh… this shit. So… well, anyway. Later.” I heard the click of his phone and my answering machine beeped, letting me know it was the end of the message.

San Diego?
A million thoughts ran through my head. Ultimately, he was leaving because of me. I couldn’t stand that I was the one uprooting him, making him feel like he had to change his whole life. He had lived in Arizona his entire life, and now he was leaving because of me.

I had to talk to him. At the very least, I had to make peace with him, maybe try to convince him to stay. Maybe even return the beautiful diamond necklace to him. I grabbed my car keys and headed over to his apartment.

A few minutes later, I found a parking space outside of Travis’s apartment. I didn’t see his car in the lot, but I knocked on his door anyway. There was no response. I stood there for a moment, and then his neighbor walked by, heading to his own door with his keys in one hand and a bag of groceries in the other. I knew that he and his neighbor were friendly with each other, so I hoped that maybe he had some information. “Looking for Travis?” he asked.

“Yes, have you seen him?”

“Sure did. He packed up the U-Haul and pulled out about two hours ago. He’s on his way to California.”

“He’s gone?” I whispered.

He nodded. “Sounded like it was because of some girl. He’s been down the past few days; sounded like he just needed a change. A fresh start. I think this will be good for him. Anyway,” he opened the door to his apartment. “See you,” he said, and closed the door.

“Bye,” I breathed as I walked back to my car, my heart broken all over again, not because I was in love with Travis, but because my best friend just walked out of my life and didn’t even have the heart
to say goodbye. I got into my car and shut the door. I didn’t know where to turn or what to do. I picked up my phone to call Travis, hoping I could at least talk to him and try to convince him to come back.

His phone rang four times and went to voice mail. I hung up without leaving a message.

I called Nick. He picked up right away. “Hey sexy. Miss me already?” he answered.

I started crying. I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t form words; just sobs came out. I hated that Travis and I weren’t talking. It felt like he was no longer part of my life when he had been my best friend for just about my entire life. And now he just… wasn’t. And I couldn’t handle that; not with
the roller coaster of emotions I had been through in the month leading up to that moment.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Concern was evident in his voice.

I sucked in a deep breath. “Travis moved to San Diego,” I managed.

Nick was silent for a minute.

I continued to cry while he remained quiet. Finally I calmed down enough to speak: “Say something.”

“What do you want me to say? I wish I could say I am sorry about it, but baby, he’s caused us nothing but problems.”