House of Cards (9 page)

Chapter 14
:

Need to get my life back.

Daxton’s POV

When I finally make it to Gram’s, I waste no time walking up to her door and knocking
; she answers almost immediately. She looks frightfully thin and pale and I feel like I’ve been failing her, putting added stress on to her that she doesn’t need. She holds her hand out to gesture me coming in. I follow her into the living room to sit down.

“Gram, I need your help
,” I state seriously. I am trying to push her appearance from my mind. She probably just has a cold or something. People get sick in the winter time, it just happens. It’s getting cold out now.

“Anything for you
, boy,” she responds. “You want something to drink?” I shake my head no. She walks quickly into the kitchen, grabs herself a Pepsi, and comes back into the living room to sit down next to me. She puts her hand gently on my knee and pats it.

“What’s wrong
, son?” She asks me. She’s always been able to tell when something was up just by my facial expressions. I can never lie to her. Whether I’ve done something wrong, or am just plain old sad - she always knows. “I know the truth. I know about Ava and Krissi. What I don’t know is what I’m doing with my life right now? Where am I supposed to be? I think if I get back to my regular routine, my memory will come back. It seems like the only way.” She looks at me hesitantly, torn.

“Please
, Gram. I know that you’re trying to shelter me, but it’s doing me more harm than good.” I don’t want to make her feel guilty for lying to me or just evading the truth since the accident, but I need to get down to the bottom of all of this. I think the real truth is my only hope.

“Well…You work
in the elementary school. You’re a music therapist for the little kid’s classroom. You love your job. Your coworkers really miss you. I’ll give you the number.” She climbs up and ambles over to where she keeps her rolodex; she’s old school. She finds the school’s number written in my scrawl on a card and hands it to me. I pull out my wallet and tuck it in, making note in my head to call and get my job back tomorrow. I’ll do whatever it takes to get back there.

“What else?” I ask. I have so many questions, but I don’t want to overwhelm Gram when she doesn’t appear to be feeling well.

“You still play in that band, same name as it’s always been. That’s where you met Ava, down at the bar. She waitresses there part time.” My mind begins to reel.

“She takes care of a little girl, Abby. She’s really her sister, but Ava has adopted her and became her
mother. They’ve had a rough go. Those are two of the strongest girls I’ve ever met - you’re lucky to have her son.” I trust Gram’s instinct. She doesn’t let females close to me. She sees right through most of the ones that want me for selfish reasons. A little girl? My mind flies back to the day at the mall…I wonder. Gram continues to talk without me having to urge her on.

“You and Ava were engaged. You planned a huge proposal for her
and all of us were there to support you. You sang to her and got down on one knee. Even I was envious and I loved your grandpa more than life itself.” She laughs and I take that moment to look up at the walls. The picture frames held a decade’s worth of photos: both me and Gabe, my Dad, and, of course, my Gram and Papa. That kind of love, it’s the epitome of real. Shit wasn’t always easy for them. They struggled to make it through but they did. I’m determined to do the same thing - whatever it takes.

Gram and I talk for a couple of hours. She tells me stories of Ava and Abby. She tells me how happy I seemed to be and how in love
we are. I leave her house with a huge excitement for the new day. I’m ready to get back to being happy like that. The way Gram talks, this is the real thing: a love that can only be read about in fairytales. I hope that this doesn’t turn out to be nothing but a fantasy in the end. Just the illusion of what can be entices me to try. I feel a strong compulsion to pursue Avalynn. I want to get to know her again and see what could be. Is it possible to love someone once and not be able to fall in love with them again after forgetting everything about them? We’ve been through a lot, so I’ve been told, so maybe the pressure to make things work just because you’ve fought so hard is gone and things won’t be the same? There are so many endless possibilities of how this can turn out. I’ve got to know for sure or else I’ll never be able to get my life back.

The next day, I call the school and the
y don’t even hesitate about agreeing to let me come back. They want to start me off slow, so I don’t get overwhelmed - working with the kids only one day a week for a couple of hours to start. I’m fortunate to have Tripp as a friend because he lets me borrow a guitar to take to work. I am still unable to play most of the stuff that my brain tells me I can, but my fingers disagree, but easy melodies come to me with no problem. Kids shouldn’t care if I use those only for now until I can build the strength and hand eye coordination back up to the level that it used to be at. I’m confidence that I should get my groove back in no time.

Chapter 15
:

B
eautiful Stranger,

I’ve missed you.

Avalynn’s POV

Therapy is going well and I’m back to work full-time, no more breaks for me. Abby and I are getting back to our normal routine and she’s very excited to be in school and bonding with her classmates. The girl loves school more than ice-cream, I’m sure of it. It’s a normal day like any other when I’m walking the halls, not paying any attention to where I’m going, staring down at a paper in my hands. I bump head first into a firm body and fall hard on my ass with a splat. I look up and inhale the sharpest breath possible, my lungs feeling like they could collapse at any moment. There, standing before me, is my beautiful stranger. He really is a stranger to me all over again. I have no idea what to say. He reaches out a hand to me and I’m afraid that if I take it, I may be electrocuted by the shock. It’s been so long since we have touched.

“I’m so sorry about that!” He exclaims. I stare at him like a deer in the headlights
and allow him to help me up. I quickly walk around him and head forward down the hall as fast as my legs will carry me.

“Wait…What’s your name?” He asks. It’s no surprise to me that my legs stop moving. I am struck dead in my tracks. I don’t turn around, though
, I just stand there dumbfounded. I hear large footsteps fall in behind me. I see his handsome face before me again and my heart picks up pace.

“If I guess it…will you tell me?” He asks playfully. I have no idea what to do in this moment. Maybe I should just lie and make up a name…or maybe I should just tell him my real one. He obviously doesn’t remember the interaction we had at the hospital at all. That actually hurts my heart. Before I can say anything, he begins guessing extremely unoriginal names. I shake my head no
, slowly, to all of his guesses. Eventually, I start to giggle as they get more and more off the wall. Finally he says,

“Avalynn?” and my heart skips a beat. I nod my head up and down. Can it be? Does he remember? Avalynn is not at all a common name.

“I knew it all along. I know who you are, I have for a while.” I say nothing. I walk quickly away. What a cruel trick to play on someone. I’m embarrassed that I sat there and played along.

“Wait…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to piss you off. I just wasn’t sure how to approach you. That was so stupid. Please let me explain.” I stop and turn around
to face him. As much as I shouldn’t be doing this, I can’t help myself. It’s Daxton,
my
Daxton. His voice is melodic to my ears and even if I have to hear about how happy he is in his new life, how much he doesn’t remember me, it’ll be worth it just to get to talk to him one more time.

“Krissi came clean. We’re done. After that, I went to Gram…I’m assuming you know my Gram?” He asks
, sounding unsure. I nod my head yes in response. Of course I know Gram - I still keep in touch with her but I won’t tell him that. He obviously doesn’t know everything. He doesn’t know that I’ve been keeping tabs on him as much as possible. Granted, nobody told me that he knew the truth.

“I’ve been back to work for a little while now…and I’ve seen you in the hall. I was waiting for the right moment to approach you. Realistically, I was just waiting for my head to pop out of my ass.”

Memory loss or not, his vocabulary choices have remained the same. I smile to myself and he returns it.

“I was wondering…can I take you out? I know this is weird
, I just don’t know how else to do this.” He looks at me expectantly.

I don’t really know what to say. Of course
, on the inside I’m jumping for joy, but I’m pretty scared too. I know it hasn’t been his fault why we have been apart. I can’t blame him at all, in fact. He saved Abby’s life and almost lost his in the process but he being with Krissi still really burns me. I know that the whole truth wasn’t given and for that, I’d like to squash her like a bug, but it still feels like a betrayal. My guard instantly went back up when I found out and it’s going to be extremely hard to tear it back down. I’m willing to try, though. I can’t let this moment pass. I just have to take it slow and remember that even though I still love him more than my being, he doesn’t know that he feels the same way about me. He may not ever know and I’ve got to come to terms with that. It’s hard to have something in your grasp and it suddenly slipping away. Having no control is one of the hardest things for me to face - I’ve always enjoyed being the keeper of my own destiny. It wasn’t until Daxton came in my life that everything changed and, still, to this day, continues to change.

I answer before he has a chance to change his mind. I’ve got to give this a go. Even if I get hurt, I still need to try. I shouldn’t have given up so easily on us in the first place. I should have fought. I should have went to him and told him the truth. But everyone was against that idea and I was in no shape to think for myself or make such rash decisions. Now that I’m in a better place and it seems like he’s in a better one, too
, this is as good of a time as any.

“I
would like nothing more. I’ve missed you more than I can possibly explain with words. But if things are different, or get weird…please tell me. I can’t stand to be heartbroken any longer.” I make him promise. He does easily. We decide to talk on the phone at first.

He calls me every night
and we talk until we fall asleep; we text every other minute that we aren’t on the phone. It feels oddly comforting to hear his voice... I’ve missed it so much. I vow to never take anyone for granted again. You get used to people, namely loved ones, being in your life on a daily basis that you no longer think and appreciate the little things about them. The way that they laugh, the way a certain word comes out differently than other people say it, even the way that the yell or swear; just the little things that you miss the most when they are gone, beyond your control, in the blink of an eye. I’m beyond glad that we are trying. I’m only mad at myself, that it wasn’t me who approached him. I waited, instead of doing what in my heart I knew was best. That’s the last time I’ll make that mistake, it hurts too much. Even if he is unable to fall back in love with me and all of this have been for naught, I’ll still never regret hoping.

We keep things simple for
a while before finally agreeing to go on dates. It’s weird to go on a first date again with someone that you’ve been so close with. I can remember every intimate detail about Daxton from the birthmark on his belly to the curvature of his spine and he can’t remember a single, solitary thing about me. It’s almost weird to be on different playing grounds and it feels as if neither of us truly have an advantage. I can’t bring up all the things I remember because it hurts beyond belief that he doesn’t remember. It’d be a one sided conversation. So I have to basically fall in love again all over also. Hopefully this time it’ll be easier for me to let him in.

My fear of falling is intense this time around. I’m starting to fall even harder than I did the first time and I’m scared that he won’t be at the bottom to catch my fall. But that’s not enough to deter me. I spend every ounce of energy I have on getting ready for our first date times two. At least I won’t come off as that awkward, clumsy girl he met the first time around
… I’m more seasoned at this now.

Chapter
16: First date 2.0

Daxton
’s POV

I’m taking my fiancé on a date. Well, ex fiancé. Fuck, hell. I don’t know whether to call her my ex or my right now fiancé. Either way, I’m taking the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen out on a date. I know in my heart that I love her; I just need to get that message back up to my brain. I decided to do something different, hoping that may spark up new memories in case I never get the old ones back. Starting over with her doesn’t seem like it’d be a bad thing to do. She’s been through so much in the last couple of months, all on her own, and I’m surprised she even agreed to do this. I’m actually nervous about it. I did nothing with my hair - I’ve been told by more than one person that she loves it messy. I’ve been asking all of my family and friends for advice. Man, it sounds so fucking wrong to have to ask people advice on how to take my fiancé on a proper date. This memory loss shit sucks, that’s all I have to say on the matter.

I pull out a faded pair of jeans and a plaid button up. I pick up my phone from the bed and send a quick text, advising her to dress comfortably as well. It’s a relatively cool summer day and I’m glad. The weather is going to work perfect for the plans I have for us. With Michigan, you never know what weather you’re going to get. We get snow in the summer and heat in the winter. Mother
Nature is just as lost as I am. I laugh to myself - I’ve learned to do this often, no point in being pissed off. I’m just going to enjoy the life I have now. I throw my converse on, got to keep some part of the old me alive.

I borrowed Tripp’s truck. I’ve been staying with him since Krissi and I split. I didn’t want to go back to that place. The only memories I have currently in it are of her and I and I just don’t feel right about it. I’m nervous as hell to drive
; this will be my first time getting behind the wheel since the accident. I wasn’t even driving and it still scares the piss out of me to think of getting into a car or out on the road in general. I man up and decide to do it anyway. This has to be perfect and I’m pretty sure Tripp chauffeuring us around or her picking me up isn’t very romantic. I’d probably lose my man card then. I take one last look in the mirror and a deep calming breath and walk out toward the front door.

“Looking good man! No homo
,” Tripp remarks and I can’t help but laugh. He’s chilling on the couch, bowl of cereal in hand.

“Dude, please put some clothes on before you start hitting on me.” He laughs and spews milk all down the front of him. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t showered in a few days now. He’s been taking off from the studio and just sitting at home. He won’t really talk to me, but I’ve heard from the other guys that
he and his girl just recently broke up. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with me, but I can’t say for sure and nobody will admit to that either.

“Hey…You
want to come with? I’m sure Avalynn might have a hot friend she can hook you up with?” I prod, attempting to lighten the mood. I don’t know who the chick is that he was seeing, but I’m sure it couldn’t have been that serious. Tripp has never been too serious of a guy when it comes to the ladies. His face turns as white as a sheet and he sputters.

“Fuck off
, man.” he grumbles and gets up to leave the room just like a chick would. I have no clue what crawled up his butt all of the sudden, but I’m not sticking around to find out why. I know it’s not good to talk to him when he’s pissed. He takes his anger out with his fists and I’ve had enough head injuries for one dude. I grab the keys out of my pocket and take off before he has a chance to change his mind.

I head toward her house and butterflies are swarming around my stomach. I can honestly say I’ve never felt this way
- it’s a definite rush. When I pull up outside the address that she gave me, it feels too familiar and I want to throw up all over myself. I wish I could just fucking remember, would definitely make my life easier. I shut off the truck and step out of the driver seat shakily. I make my way toward her door, stargazer lilies lying on the passenger seat. I stopped at the flower shop on the way over and they had my previous orders still in the computer. This must be for her because I know that Krissi would never settle for anything less than red roses, she’s picky like that. I run my hand through my hair anxiously as I ring the doorbell. No more than two minutes later, she opens the door and my heart literally skips a beat. She’s dressed in a little white sundress and pink converse. She looks as if she doesn’t have a shred of make up on and her long blonde hair is down in its natural wave. God, she looks fucking beautiful. I can’t stop staring. I can see the slight bags under eyes and the tension that lies in her shoulders and I wish that I could take it all away, but she still looks gorgeous. I’m pretty positive that she must always look amazing. I’m one lucky dude, that’s for sure.

I finally find my voice
. “You look perfect.” I breathe out. She shyly smiles and a slight red creeps up her pale face.

“I’ve missed you
,” she says quietly, firmly. Her eyes scan over me and light up just long enough for me to notice that she likes what she sees. “You look very handsome yourself.”

“Don’t I always?” I respond cockily.
Truthfully, I don’t know what else to say. I’ve never been huge on compliments. She laughs and it’s like music to my ears.

“Nice to see that not much has changed.” She smirks and playfully pushes my shoulder
as she steps out onto the walk and pulls the door closed behind her.

“Don’t you need to lock it?” I question.

“No, Faith is home with Abby,” she says easily, almost as if I should know who Faith and Abby are. I just nod my head to avoid asking her twenty-one questions right away and scaring her off. I want to know everything about her. I want to fall in love with her all over again. I can feel a strong connection to her, deep down, in the pit of my soul. But I just hope that will be enough, good enough for her. She deserves to be loved with a whole heart and a sound mind. I walk back over to the truck quickly and she follows my lead without falter. I open the passenger door and take her hand so she can hop in. She doesn’t really need my help, but just touching her hand makes me feel better about everything. I close the door behind her and walk around to the driver’s side to get in.

I start the truck and head in the direction of the beach. I glance over at her and notice she has the flowers in her hands and tears coming silently down her face. I’m not sure what to say so I reach over and gently grasp her hand. She’s gripping the flowers for dear life so I knead her thumb lightly with mine until she releases a bit. I want to wipe the tears away, but I’m not sure how comfortable she’d feel.

“Are you okay?” I ask her quietly. Quiet, that’s something I’ve never really been in my life and it’s extremely hard to do now. I just don’t want to overstep my boundaries and ruin this all before it even has a chance to really begin.

“I’m fine. Just remembering, that’s all
,” “Happy memories I hope?” I question, anxious for her answer. She nods her head in confirmation.

“All my memories with you are happy
,” she states easily.

“Well…if you’ll let me, I’d like to continue the trend
,” I respond. I know that I can’t reminiscence the past with her, but I can sure the fuck move forward. I’m positive that with her by my side, anything is possible. She smiles and nods again.

“I’d really like that.” My hand starts to get sweaty, so I silently pull it away and wipe it off on my pants. She must
’ve seen me do it because she starts to giggle loudly. When I look over at her, shit eating grin on my face, she halts all sound and takes in a deep breath. I can almost see the need behind her eyes, her worry lines getting less prominent by the minute. My pants get tighter instantly at the look on her face, so I glance away. I turn on the radio to try and distract myself. I’m not paying any attention to what’s on, until I hear her sing along. Truthfully, she has a really great voice. When she sings, her voice sounds sultry and sexy, even though appearance wise she is the epitome of innocent. So much for operation turn off, I’m only getting more turned on. Thankfully, time passes quickly.

When we pull up at the beach, she looks pleased
and I’m smiling on the inside like a giddy little school boy. I shut the ignition off with quickness and rush around to open the door for her, before she has a chance to fully open it herself. She doesn’t seem like the type that enjoys being catered to, but she deserves it none the less. I grab the picnic basket out of the backseat and she grabs her flowers. I parked the truck right on the beach and there’s nobody really around - it’s still a bit chilly out to actually swim in the water. I let her lead the way and choose where she wants me to lay the blanket down. This is probably one of the first times in my life that I actually feel at a loss for words.

She gets down and stretches out. She hardly seems shy right now, like what everyone had told me she would be like. I don’t dwell on that fact though. Confidence is sexy to me
, one of the sexiest things a woman can wear in my honest opinion. I open the basket and pull out all of its confinements including sandwiches of the peanut butter and jelly variety, chips, and fresh fruit. I have wine even though I’m not much of a connoisseur of it myself; I was told that she likes it, though. We eat in silence, but not awkward, just calming. When we’ve finished, I start conversation by asking her questions - about things she likes, dislikes, and is indifferent about. I crave to know every detail about her. We start to get into the nitty gritty about the accident and Abby, whom I haven’t had a chance to meet again. I’ve realized through pictures, that she is the little girl from the mall. It makes me feel like complete shit. There’s nothing I can do about it though. Ava is protecting her, by not allowing me to come around until we know for sure what we’re doing. It’s almost as if we have to fall in love again. She did invite me to come to the school talent show and I’m glad that I will get to finally get to see her. I promised Ava that I wouldn’t go up to Abby afterwards; that I would hide in the shadows so she doesn’t get upset. She doesn’t really understand my absence - she thinks I am on vacation or something.

We talk for hours about everything and nothing all at once. We do nothing, but kiss. I’m talking about friendly pecks
, the passion behind them making it feel like so much more. I can tell that she wants me to take full advantage of her. I can feel her body humming for mine, but I feel the necessity to take things extremely slow with her. We will date, we will get to know each other again, and hopefully things will all work. Only time will tell. I take her home and walk her to the front door and kiss her good night. Just as things begin to heat up, the brunette opens the door. She glares at me and familiarity hits me quick.

“Faith?” I question. The name pops out at me. Avalynn and Faith both look extremely shocked and at a loss for words.

“You’re Faith…you’re… Tripp’s girl?” Memories are fading in, but it’s never focused on me. It’s through my eyes and I can see everyone else around me. Everyone except who is on my arm. I still cannot remember Ava. Avalynn throws her arms around me and I pull back in fear. My brain begins to hurt at this sudden rush of information. She looks at me expectantly so I shake my head in a no movement.

“I still can’t remember everything
.” I say, feeling utter disappointment. She doesn’t look sad, though. She smiles at me and squeezes my hand.

“But this is a good sign. You can remember Faith and eventually you’ll be able to remember everything else. Don’t stress about it. I’m not going anywhere
- I’m here as long as you want me.” I could tell by her tone just how much she meant that. Faith bounds down the stairs and quickly hugs me. The disdain vibe I got from her quickly evaporating.

“I miss him
.” she whispers in my ear. It feels like a secret she’s been holding on to, one she doesn’t feel like she can tell anyone else.

“He misses you, too
.” I tell her and I know that to be the truth. My head really begins to throb so I say goodbye to the girls and climb into his truck to head home. I tell him everything when I get there. I feel like I’m back in middle school dating and it feels fucking good. All except the whole brain injury thing.