Hope for Us (Hope Series Book #3) (15 page)

She moved with me inside of her, slow at first, and with every move I took in a sharp intake of breath and exhaled when she slowed down.

“Jackson,” she said. My name never sounded so good rolling off anyone’s lips … ever. I placed my hands on her hips to assist her in moving against me. Speeding up as we continued. 

Her breath sped up and I tried to match it. With every exhale, she let go. With every breath, her anxiety issues went away.  With every thrust, her control issues disappeared.  She let me in and I was ready to step up to the plate because I realized why I wanted this woman so bad. Nothing and no one on Earth compared to my Carrington.

My thighs ached from straddling Jackson. We had sex in the kitchen, again, but this time, it was different, beautiful, passionate, and resulted in a mind-blowing orgasm. The kind of orgasm that made you believe in the best of …everything. 

I leaned my head on Jackson’s shoulder and slowed my breathing. He remained inside of me, and I felt him getting hard.

“You haven’t had enough.” I squeezed my pelvic muscles and he grunted.

“I’ll never have enough.”

I leaned back and every move created an aftershock that threatened to push me over the edge. I regained feeling in my legs and pushed off Jackson’s lap. I pulled him up with me and led him into my bedroom. I climbed back into bed under the covers, and Jackson joined me. We lay on our sides, our hands roaming everywhere and looking into each other’s eyes. Jackson held a curious expression and I tried to speak to him with my eyes. Trying to find that connection we once had. The connection I looked for with others and never found. The connection I didn’t bother looking for the few times we had been together since he came back into my life. What if I looked and couldn’t find it? 

This time, it started as a flicker, something small and familiar. I felt it in my gut. I didn’t push it down but encouraged it to seep into my body, in every place that Jackson touched and caressed. He ran his hand down my hip, and it felt like a trail of stars sweeping over my body and my body hummed. His fingered crawled up my spine and my confidence built as I arched my back and pressed into him. He rewarded me by flicking my nipple with his tongue as he massaged my other breast. He placed a hand over my heart, and it felt like an electric jolt to my system. I sought out his lips and plunged my tongue into his mouth. I rolled back and Jackson rolled over on top of me. I held his hand over my heart with one hand as I guided him into me with the other hand.

Jackson tried to move his hand, and I increased my grip.

“Stay here with me.”

He stopped and searched my face and caressed my cheek.  I opened myself up and made myself available to him. What I felt when he touched me, I wanted him to feel it, too.

I wanted to apologize to him for using his body the last couple times we were together. I was going through the motions, and while Jackson’s sexual prowess made me cum both times, it was nothing more than sex.

Staring into his eyes now and feeling all the emotions of what being with him meant, Jackson offered me everything, and I accepted every single bit of it. 

Jackson stopped to adjust; he pulled his knees up under him and pounded in me deeper. At the same time, he kissed me anywhere his lips could reach. He moved his head down to my ear and whispered, “I have my Carrington back.”

That pushed me over the edge and I screamed out his name, and a few second later, he released, too. His hand remained on my chest but more of a measure to make sure after being in a hyper state, we would come back down to earth together.

“Wow,” I said. I couldn’t think of another adequate adjective to describe how amazing I felt.

“Wow,” Jackson said. “That was incredible.”

“Wow.”

Jackson rolled onto his side but left his left leg draped over me. The feel of being wanted and feeling secure, beautiful, and sexually satisfying, overwhelmed my senses. I closed my eyes and counted to three. When I opened them, he pulled me to him and squeezed me tight. My feelings were overwhelming with all the love and adoration and pride in the man who I got to call mine, all mine.

He was all mine. I laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

I cuddled up closer to him, loving the way my toned curves fit next to his muscular body. He cradled my chin in his hand and turned my face so he could kiss me. He brushed his nose against mine.

“I was thinking about Jackson’s first birthday. The first time we were together, how all of this went down because I forgot to ask one very important question. We had sex, and I didn’t bother to ask … again.”

“You are not going to ask me if I’m seeing someone else are you?”

“Well, it’s been almost a month since the last time we were together.”

“I’m not an eighteen-year-old boy, I can control myself.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. I had a flashback and I thought if I had asked that one simple question back then, we might have avoided a whole lot of heartache.”

“Yeah, but it would have removed one of the best nights in my life from my memory.”

“Who knows, the way I felt about you that day, I may not have minded. It would have been nice to have that choice.”

“Things happened for a reason. The way I’m feeling right now, this may be the reason we had to go through what we went through.”

“And how are you feeling now?”

His eyes scrunched up, and I rubbed the wrinkle between his eyes with my thumb.

“Fortunate.” He bit his lip and my hand traveled from his forehead to his lips. He kissed my fingertips. “Happy. Blessed. How do you feel?”

“Relieved.”

He chuckled.

“Do you know how much time and energy I put into worrying about will we or won’t we end up together. It's exhausting. I waited seven years for this to happen. What took you so long? Ouch.”

Jackson pinched me.

“You weren’t ready for me. Now you are?”

“Are you sure? How do you know?”

He tilted my chin up so we were eye to eye. “I see it in your eyes.”

“Yeah,” I whispered as he kissed me.

“I told you, you’re my Carrington.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Jackson’s hand traveled from my face down my neck past my sternum where it remained for a few more beats before continuing the journey between my breasts, down my stomach, and back to the spot that got this whole thing started.

My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I said, “Yes.”

I left Jackson in bed snoring as I took a shower and got dressed for work. An alert popped up on my phone.

I missed my best friend. We exchanged a few generic text messages, but I hadn’t spoken to her since she hung up on me. She would be so excited that Jackson and I found our way back together. I read through some emails as I walked back into the kitchen. Jackson’s schedule sat on the table and my eyes immediately zeroed in on two weeks from Sunday, the same weekend as the Griffin hunting trip. The Cardinals played the Jets on Sunday night football in Jersey. I gasped as Jackson snaked his arm around my waist.

“You scared me.”

“You’re not used to naked men wandering around your home in the morning.”

I felt behind me and confirmed Jackson’s state. He clothes sat in a heap where we pulled them off.

I reached into a drawer and removed a key from our spare set. I turned to face Jackson and handed him the key. I tried to keep my eyes upward because if I moved any lower than his neck, I would be out of my clothes in two seconds. “Please give me a little warning when you come over for breakfast next time, but feel free to let yourself in.”

“Okay.”

“I have to get to work.” I checked the time on my phone. In my heels, I came up to Jackson’s chin. I leaned in and kissed it. “I have a meeting in half an hour.”

He leaned over and kissed my neck, his tongue tracing along the side up to my ear.

He pushed the collar of my shirt down to continue leaving a trail of kisses I would feel long after his lips were gone.

“Jackson, I have to go.”

He pulled back and looked in my eyes. “So go. I’m not stopping you,” he said with a smirk on his face. I wanted to touch him, but I couldn’t and make it to the office on time. I knew that about myself.

He leaned over and kissed the other side of my neck while squeezing my ass. He gave it a little tap.

“Have a good day,” he said. Then he turned and picked up his clothes and headed back to my room to change. “I’ll check on you later.”

I exhaled and gathered my stuff to head to work. I passed a full-length mirror in our laundry room, and I stopped in my tracks. I couldn’t believe the person staring back at me. I looked happy.

Everyone at the office is going to know I had sex this morning. The giddy, glowing look I had on my face couldn’t be disguised as anything else.

One week into Jackson and I being a for real, legitimate couple, turned out easier than I thought. Jack understood that Jackson and I were more than friends. He understood the concept of being in a relationship, but he didn’t see us behaving any differently. We all spent a lot more time together. 

The next game, the Cardinals won. Jackson played amazing. The broadcasters were talking league MVP.

I found myself liking the sound of it, my boyfriend, the NFL MVP. I joked with Jackson that his new found good fortune on the football field had everything to do with our new schedule.

We had breakfast together at least three times a week.

After an unusual hearty breakfast the Thursday before the next game, we were lying in bed, me on top, resting my chin on his chest. Jackson had a pillow under his head, and we stayed like that chatting about nothing and anything until one of us remembered we had to go to work.

“You should invite some of your friends to the game.”

“I was meaning to ask you about that. Can you possibly get Jack and I two seats in the stands and not in the suite?”

“Well, yeah, but don’t you want to sit in the suite? My parents and Patrick are going to be there.”

“I know, but …” My voice trailed off. I tried to figure out how to explain it so he would understand. “I would rather spend more time with them when we can be together. You know. Give them an opportunity to see us together. Perhaps they would treat me differently.”

“What do you mean? How did they treat you before?”

“Well, they kind of ignored me. Not your mother, she was gracious. They just don’t know me. They don’t know what I mean to you. I felt uncomfortable.”

“Let me talk to them.”

“No, don’t do that. I don’t want to make it sound like they were awful to me. They weren’t.”

“If you want to sit in the stands, that’s fine, but do me a favor, go up there for pre-game and at least say hello.”

“Okay, I will.”

“Besides, you know that the side pieces sit in the stands, the wives and serious girlfriends sit in the suites.” He rolled over and pinned me under him. “You are not a side piece.”

“No?”

“Although, you fuck like one,” he said as he guided himself into me for the second time this morning.”

I gasped as he filled me. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“It was and I’m grateful.”

When we arrived at the stadium, the parking director motioned for me to roll my window down.

“Hi, Ms. Carrington. I wanted to introduce myself. I am Mr. Thomas. Our boy looks good today, doesn’t he?”

“Uh, nice to meet you Mr. Thomas, yeah. He’s going to have a good game.”

“Yep, enjoy the game.”

I looked back at Jack, and he shrugged his shoulders. I did the same.

In the elevator, the attendant greeted us when the doors opened.

“Ms. Carrington, Lil’ Jackson. How are we this beautiful Sunday afternoon?”

“I’m good. I’m sorry, what was your name again?”

“Jim.” He motioned us into the elevator. “Everyone calls me Jim.”

“Nice to see you.”

As we got off the elevator, one of the waiters who worked in Jackson’s suite stopped to let us pass in front.

“Hi, Ms. Butler. Hi, Jack.”

“Hello,” Jack said and headed straight to the suite like he owned the place.

“You can call me Carrington.”

“Okay, Carrington. My name is Stanley. You need anything special that’s not out there, please let me know. I also made sure nothing we ordered had any nuts or peanuts in it, so no more peanut issues in your suite. Jack can eat whatever he puts his hands on.”

“Okay. Thank you so much.”

I shuffled to keep up with Jack, but when he reached the suite door, I watched him go in and stopped.

“You said my suite. Was that a figure of speech?”

“Well, no, I meant your suite. Mr. Mitchell asked us to pay more attention to everyone in the suite, especially the people who are most important to him.”

“Oh, is that why everyone keeps talking to me and telling me their name and asking me questions about Jackson?”

“Maybe.” He shrugged his shoulders and motioned for me to head to the suite. My line of questioning made him nervous.

I entered the suite and found Jackson’s parents and his brother Patrick had already arrived. Jack hugged Mrs. Mitchell.

“Jack, did you grow since the last time I saw you?”

“Nope.”

“Hi, Carrington,” Mr. Griffin said as he approached me with his arms extended. I stood there as he gave me a quick hug. “How are you?”

“I’m good. How are you?”

“We are wonderful. Jackson is having a great year. You two are back together. Things are good all around.”

“Thomas, you’re laying it on a little thick, don’t you think?” Mrs. Griffin asked

I laughed. I loved Jackson’s mother.

I hugged her around the neck, hard.

“We are happy you and Jackson worked things out.”

“Really?” I pulled her over into the corner and bent my head down. “Honestly, I thought you wouldn’t want me anywhere near your son.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because our journey hasn’t exactly been easy.”

“Carrington.” She pulled out a chair for me. “Have a seat, I need a drink.” She pointed at me.

“Whatever you’re having.”

She brought us both a glass of champagne. When she took the seat across from me, I watched her. A former model, she moved with grace and elegance. She gave up her career when she met her husband. They were the original Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen, sort of.

“We have always been fond of you, Carrington.” She took a sip of her champagne, and I followed her lead. “Even back at FSU, we could see how Jackson felt about you. Josh was like a son to me. He spent so much time with us growing up. He and Jackson were inseparable. So, when Josh got involved with drugs, it broke our hearts. Although he wasn’t our son, we felt a bit responsible. Second guessing if there was anything more we could have done for him, especially after his mother died.”

She touched the corner of her eye with a napkin, and I got teary eyed. I tended to reduce Josh’s legacy to only the part of his life I was involved with. I sometimes forgot that Josh had a life and a history well before we met.

“Mrs. Mitchell-” I reached out and touched her hand. “I can understand that.”

“We feel a little guilty …thankful that our son turned out the way he did.”

“I feel guilty because, in a way, I’m relieved that Jack doesn’t have to deal with having Josh as a father.” I grabbed a napkin and rubbed my eyes. “Isn’t that awful? To be happy about someone you cared about dying.”

“Oh, sweetie. I understand. It comes with being a mother. You want to save your son from any hurt or pain. That’s natural.”

“I’ve caused your son so much pain, I’m so sorry.”

She waved her hand. “That’s different. It was what you two needed to go through to get where you are today. When I saw him, I knew everything had changed. The only thing you can ask for as a parent is that your children are happy and Jackson is happy.”

Jack let out a laugh, and we both turned and smiled.

“He really is a good kid. He has such a kind nature.”

“He can be stubborn and a little spoiled.”

“Well, he is a Griffin.”

I laughed and turned to watch my son with Mr. Mitchell. It’s funny how Josh’s death allowed Jack the opportunity to have even more people in his life who love him and care about him. I wanted to thank her for that and let her know she raised a pretty terrific son herself.

My face dropped.

“Carrington, what’s wrong?”

“As Jack gets older, I know it’s only a matter of time before he asks me about his father. I don’t know what to say to him.”

“Oh, dear. You have to be honest with him.”

“Yeah, but how honest. I don’t want my anger and pain over Josh to transfer to him. I don’t want to be the cause of any sort of negativity in his life. He’ll get enough of that from the outside world.”

“You could not tell him, but with the hyper media day we live in and the fact that you’re dating someone who I have a feeling is going to get even more famous, it’s going to come out. It’s up to you to prepare Jack for when that happens.”

“Mrs. Mitchell, I love your son, so much. I feel so fortunate that he didn’t give up on me. I want you to know that everything that has happened between us has been all me. Your son has been beyond amazing to me.”

“Carrington, I know my son. He’s not a saint.”

“I know, but I didn’t want you to think Jackson did anything but help me heal even if it meant he had to let me go for a while.”

“Sweetie, I know my son. He is stubborn and can get dug in on something harder than anything. He has an irrational need to have order in this chaotic world, but he will love you.”

The way she emphasized the verb love made me blush. I think she realized how it sound and her face turned red. She sipped her champagne.

Patrick walked over and grabbed a beer out of the cooler before making a beeline for us.

“Hi, Carrington.” He gave me a side hug.

He stood in front of us, took a sip of his beer, and we burst out laughing.

“What?”

“Now Patrick, on the other hand, is a go with the flow kind of guy.” She pinched his cheek.

“What are you two ladies conspiring about over here?”

“Nothing,” I said. “We are taking about how great the Mitchell men are.”

“Damn straight, we are?” He held his beer up. “When you date Jackson, you get all of us. You get that, right?”

“I’m beginning to understand that.”

We all headed down toward the seats in the suite to watch the game. I sat next to Jack who sat next to Patrick. By the end to the night, he called him Uncle Patrick. It didn’t seem to faze anyone except me. We cheered for Jackson together and I relaxed and looked around the stadium thinking maybe I could get used to this. I felt a great sense of pride when Jackson did well and took on his frustrations when his teammate dropped a ball and his disappointment when he got intercepted in the fourth quarter.

The team pulled it out in the end and with only one loss on this season, the broadcasters were talking Super Bowl for the Arizona Cardinals. Mrs. Mitchell called it. Being with Jackson was about to get way more complicated.

I can handle it.

After half time, I received the strangest text messages.

I dialed my mother’s number.

“Hey, Sweetie, you look nice today.”

“What are you talking about?”

“At the game, they showed you on television.”

“What?”

“Yeah, they were talking about how a member of Jackson’s family had attended every single one of his game and the other guy said, yeah, it looks like he’s adding to his family, too. Sitting next to his mother is his girlfriend, Carrington Butler, a local attorney. And something about how you two met at FSU.”

“How do they know that?”

“Well, I’m sure it didn’t take much research. It’s not like you’re invisible and when were you going to tell me you and Jackson were back together.”

“Mom, I can’t talk about this right now. I’ll call you later.”

I stood up and walked to the back of the suite. Now the world not only knew Jackson and I were together, but they had visual evidence as well. I looked over at Jack cheering for the next play. I called my mom back.

“Did they mention Jack?”

“No, he was sitting next to you, but they didn’t mention his name. You think this is going to turn into a problem?”

“I don’t know. I’ll call you later and tell you what’s going on.”

I took a long deep breath and stared out onto the field.

Maybe I can't.

We headed to Mastros for dinner. Since they started winning, Jackson declared it part of the game day ritual and they had a table in back reserved for him every home game. The manager greeted Mrs. & Mr. Mitchell as we arrived. I stood behind them and he did a double take, pushing the Mitchell’s out of the way with his hand extended.

“Ms. Carrington. It’s so lovely to see you.” I shook his hand and he extended his other hand and grabbed my elbow. The man smiled way too big and winked at me as if in on a secret.

It seemed the entire world were let in on the big secret, my secret. We took a seat, and I took out my phone.