Hope for Us (Hope Series Book #3) (13 page)

Jackson's name on my caller id evoked an involuntary warm feeling in my gut, but it was replaced with a sense of dread when I looked across the field. Members of his team were warming up for practice. Jackson would not call me at a time like this unless something was wrong.

I hung up without saying goodbye, grabbed my keys and my stuff, and yelled to Carrie that I would be gone for the rest of the day.

Jack’s intelligence, in most circumstances, was a good thing, but sometimes it got him in trouble. We had not been on good terms in the last few days after his asthma attack.

I never expected him to do something like that.

I walked in and Blake and his little brother Stephen sat slumped in chairs. They looked at me but kept their heads lowered. They looked defeated. I wanted to laugh, but I gave them a glare and headed to the older lady at the front desk.

“Hello, may I help you?”

“Yeah, I’m Carrington. I believe my son is here.”

“You’re son?” She gave me a once over.

“With Jackson Mitchell.”

“Oh, yes, I’m sorry. He’s down the hall. The first door on the left.”

Jack’s skin was lighter than mine, but we looked enough alike. This lady looked at me like I was lying. I headed down the hall and turned back and found her watching me. She smiled, and I turned back and found the first door on the left.

Relax Carrington.

I needed to stop thinking the worse about people.

I reached for the knob, but stopped before opening the door.

Jackson talked to Jack, and his deep muffled tone sounded angry. 

Jack’s high-pitch voice pleaded his case, and I wondered if Jackson would cave, but he didn’t. He spoke in an even but firm voice. Something about his tone surprised me. He spoke to Jack like a dad.

I didn’t know Jackson had that in him. Although, I imagined he would make a great dad. He had a great example growing up.

I opened the door when they stopped talking. I locked eyes with Jackson and every issue, concern, irrational fear I held disappeared. I scrunched my face and Jackson sighed and turned his attention back to Jack. I knew he misunderstood my expression.

“Jack, come on. Let’s go home.”

He stood up and walked with his head down past me and into the hall.

As Jackson walked past me, I reached out and touched his forearm.

“Thanks for calling me.”

“Of course.”

We arrived home and I had no clue what to say to Jack that Jackson hadn’t already said.

“Ms. Carrington, are you going to tell our mother?” Blake asked as he walked to the back of my car.

“No.” He let out a sigh. “You’re going to have to tell her.”

His eyes grew wide, and he shook his head. His little brother moaned and started crying. I placed my hands on his shoulder.

“You’re not getting your bikes back until you do. You guys have until tomorrow.” I pushed him toward his house. He didn’t want to go. He looked back, and I waved him on. 

Jack headed into our house with his head down.

I found him sitting at the kitchen table and I stood across the table from him, leaning on the counter.

“Are you mad at me?”

“Not mad. Just disappointed that you didn’t come to me.” I took a seat. “Jackson David, I am your mother and I love you more than anything. I am on your side no matter what.”

“Even with Jackson?”

“Especially with Jackson. I know how much he means to you. I would never say you couldn’t see him.”

“But, the game-” I shook my head.

“Jack, you don’t get to do everything thing you want to do. No kid does. No one does.”

He started to speak, and I raised my hand to stop him. “I’m sorry. You don’t. I realize you are around people who act like they get to do and say and have anything they want, but that’s not the way the real world works and I need you to understand that all the amazing things you get to do are a privilege, not a right.”

Jack looked at me with crazy wide eyes and I realized I might be a little over his head, but he didn’t question it. He sat looking at me waiting for me to continue.

“I want you to have everything you want in life, but I would rather you work for it and not expect it.”

He took a breath, stood up, and came to my side of the table. He wrapped his arms around my neck and climbed in my lap.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.” I hugged him back, rubbed his back, and felt his heart rate decrease as the worst of it was over, or so he thought. “But you’re on punishment for a year.”

“A year?” He gasped and leaned back.

“Okay, maybe a week.”

“A week?” His shoulders slumped.

“Yes, no phone, no video games, no television, no bike. You come home after school and help Julia around the house.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Exactly, that’s my point.”

“What about the game?”

“Jack, are you listening to me at all?”

“Yeah, but-”

“Stop. Okay. I need you to go upstairs and stay there until I come and get you.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so.”
Yeah, I went there.

He pushed off my lap and stomped up the stairs. I followed him and took the remotes and put them away.

“Phone.” I held out my hand, and he grabbed it off the desk and put it in my hand. He said something, and I raised my hand to stop him.

He closed his mouth, flopped on his bed, and crossed his arms.

I turned and left him there and went back downstairs.

I made it to the bottom step before I had to sit down. The weight of everything that happened today hit me all of a sudden, and I needed a minute or a year to take it all in and figure it out.

Something in the way Jackson spoke to Jack made me realize he understood. He understood better than I did. The guilt, the pressure, and the fear I held on to because all I wanted was for my son to grow into a good guy and not a rich entitled asshole.

I loved Jackson and I wanted him; a strange realization after all the time and energy I spent pushing him away. I was ready to try and make it work. The only thing I hoped was that it wasn’t too late.

I sat on that step long enough for my ass to fall asleep. Long enough for Jackson to finish practice and drive to my house. I stood up and shook the stiffness out of my legs. I stretched and walked outside to meet him. He stood at the back of his truck pulling the bikes out of the trunk.

“Hey,” I said as I rounded the corner. As he looked me up and down, I lost all conscious thought. I placed my hand on his truck to steady myself.

He handed off one of the bikes and I pushed it toward the garage. He followed me with the other two.

When they were secured in the garage, I walked up on the porch and Jackson shuffled a half step behind me.

“Is he okay?”

“He’s a spoiled brat, but yeah, he’s okay.”

"What did you do to punish him?" Jackson asked.

"He's grounded for a week, no phone, no video games."

Jackson chuckled and I bit my lip to prevent myself from moaning. His laugh vibrated through my soul. I couldn’t wait to get to the good part where I got to hold him and hear him laugh in my ear. I fantasized about being together, staring into each other’s eyes and pushing each other over the edge until we couldn’t get enough of each other. And then we would catch our breaths and do it all over again.

“Well, I have to go.”

Wait, what? He’s leaving already. No.

He walked down the steps of the porch and I stood at the top, holding onto the banister and sending him all the I want you vibes I could muster.

He stopped. He didn’t turn around right away. I tried to use Jedi mind tricks to get him to come back and you know what.

He did.

She stood on the top step staring down at me. We both mirrored each other by holding the same side of the banister for support.

“I need to say this.”

“Okay.” She blinked way too fast and squeezed herself. Her head held high. I felt uncomfortable saying what I had to say, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“I want you to know that the last time we spoke, I heard you and I don’t blame you for wanting what you want. I understand it. I want that for you, too.”

“Okay,” she said that already. I’d almost lost my nerve, but I powered through.

“I’ve spent the last five years burying myself in football, becoming this notorious student of the game, but I’m not sure that really tells the whole story. Yeah, I work hard for what I do because I love it and I want to be the best, but the reason why I’ve dedicated so much time and attention to football was because I didn’t have anything else that held my interest. I’ve never had to worry about finding a balance between my work and my personal life. No one ever asked before.” I looked past her, scared to see more indifference in her eyes. I wanted her to understand, speaking from my heart to hers, and I needed her to hear it. “But I think I can do it. I am sure I can do it and I’d like to try and do it … with you.”

She lowered her head. I stopped rambling.

“I love you."

She looked up.

"You know that.”

She blinked and wiped a tear off her cheek.

“But, being the best in the world doesn’t mean anything if I can’t share it with you and Jack.” I watched her attempted to take a step toward me, but she stopped herself.

“Well, that’s all I-” 

Carrington stumbled down the steps and fell into my arms, her arms wrapped around my neck and the cutest whimper released from her lips. I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to me, buried my head into her neck, inhaled her everything. She felt so good in my arms. I almost forgot how good she felt. How her body fit next to mine. She wrapped her legs around my waist and I walked up the stairs and pressed her up against the door. She gasped as my lips worked their way up her neck and found her lips. She opened her mouth and my tongue touched hers and she moaned and the sensation vibrated off my tongue and I instantly got hard. I moaned and kissed her deeper.

She removed one hand from behind my neck and we both reached for the doorknob and turned it. I almost dropped her as it opened. I carried her into living room and sat on the couch. She straddled my lap. She sat back on my quads. I took in every inch of her face, her eyes, nose and mouth. I loved her lips. I kissed her, drawing her lower lip into my mouth. She smiled through the kiss, which turned me on even more.

She giggled when I released her lip, and she sat back a little further.

“You know, I wanted so badly to say you had me at hello.” She laughed, but lost her smile a second later.

I reached out to caress her cheek.

"Today at the facility, I heard what you said to Jack.”

I rubbed her thighs and encouraged her to continue.

“You were so good with him. You said the right things and I realized I hadn’t been able to rely on anyone when it comes to dealing with Jack. Not like that.”

“Yeah. I just thought what would my dad do in this situation. I wanted to laugh and I wanted to yell, but my dad always got me with the calm disapproving look." I laughed. "It was worse than the yelling."

“I resort to yelling and I hate it.”

“I won’t stand for him disrespecting you.” I said. “Not like I did once. It is the biggest regret of my life, and I am so sorry.”

“I know. I’m sorry, too.”

“Sorry for what?”

“For not trusting you enough to let you in.” She took my hand and laced her fingers with mine. She rested it on her legs as she continued. “Back in school, I looked for an excuse to push you away because it was easier than letting you see me the way I was. I could never hide anything from you, and it scared me to let you in and give up control.” I wiped a tear from her face and rubbed her shoulder. “I've been holding on to control so tight, my bones ache and I’m exhausted. I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to do this life alone any more. Jackson, I don’t need you to be everything for me. I don’t need you to make me your number one priority. I don’t need you to take care of me.”

“What do you need?”

"I need you to never leave me again." She sniffled and I knew what she meant. She needed to know I would always be there for her. Even when it got scary, needed me to reassure her I wouldn't walk away this time.

"I can do that. I promise." I pulled her to me, but she stopped me with a hand on my chest.

"Wait," she grinned. "There's more."

"Okay."

"I need you to kiss me in a way that makes me miss your kisses when you’re gone. I need you to hold my hand.” We looked down at our hands. “I need you to look me in my eyes and tell me everything is going to be okay every once in a while.”

I kissed her as she asked. I pulled back and her lips followed as she rolled her hips and pressed herself into my lap.

“Everything is going to be okay.” I emphasized the is.

“I need you to love me.”

“I do love you.”

“I love you, too.” I wrapped my arm around her back, pulling her as close as possible. I reached up to her neck, guided her face toward me, and kissed her deep and hard. I felt her hands working their way under my shirt. She pushed her hands up and …

“Mama, can I come down now?”

We froze.

“Jack, I swear to God, if you step foot on that bottom step you are on punishment for a month.” She slid off my lap, and I wanted to cry out. I liked having her snuggled up next to me.

“But Jackson's here.”

“Jack, listen to your mother and go back to you room,” I said, but groaned. I sounded like my father. He would be proud.

I looked over at her and she shook and held her hand over her mouth to avoid laughing out loud.

I shushed her.

“Aww, man,” Jack said and stomped back up the stairs.

I reached for Carrington. I wanted her back on my lap, pressing against me. I wanted to hear and feel how much her body needed mine.

“Carrington, you are an amazing woman.” I kissed her. “Even if you do like to drop corny movie lines into high stress emotional situations.”

“What can I say, it’s a gift.”

I shifted her on her back and settled between her legs as we attempted to make up for those days we missed and I didn't get to kiss her. God, I loved this woman. It made me feel like I could conquer the world.

I reached under her shirt to feel her breasts. They were rubbing up against my chest, and I needed to feel the same thing on my palm. I found my happy place, as the phone in my pocket vibrated.

The vibration hit her on the inner thigh. “Aw, that’s a new one.”

I smiled and kissed her neck as I fished my phone out of my pocket. I grazed her between the legs and she moaned, in pleasure and disappointment when my fingers didn’t stay longer.

I turned the screen so she could read the text message.

"I thought you took his phone away?'

"I left it on the steps." She groaned and not how I wanted her to groan while lying underneath me. I shifted off her and she sat up. She turned to stand up, but I pulled her back down and hugged her close to me, kissing the back of her neck.

“I better fix him dinner or he might call child services on me for neglect.” She turned to me. “Stay for dinner.”

“Love to.”

I watched her walk to the kitchen and thanked God.

That ass finally belongs to me.