Homespun Hearts (59 page)

She wasn’t certain what it was, but suddenly, she had all the confidence she needed. She leaned over him, her hands on either side of his head, and she rocked them slowly toward completion. Her lips brushed his, and she jerked against him as she climaxed, loving his hands on her body.

She collapsed on top of him, more sweaty than usual and feeling much more sated. She buried her face in his neck, happy they’d had a day to just spend together in bed and enjoy being with each other. She’d needed it more than anything.

His hands clutched her to him, stroking over her back, startled that she’d taken control from him that way. He’d never imagined a woman would excite him quite that much. What was it about the beautiful tomboy in his arms that made him feel so loved? To him, she was perfection, and he couldn’t imagine spending his life with anyone but Lily. He just had to figure out how to make her see that she was the most important person in the world to him.

L
ily woke
with a little more confidence and a spring in her step the following day. She enjoyed her time at the battered women’s home, working this time with Laura, a young woman of about sixteen, in the garden.

“You really don’t mind getting your hands dirty, do you?” Laura asked. She eyed the dirt, and Lily, with a wrinkled nose, obviously thinking the dirt was beneath her.

Lily laughed. “I don’t. I’ve always been something of a tomboy and love to be outside.” She shrugged, making no apologies for being who she was. She was a hard worker and that was the most important thing.

Laura made a face. “Not me. I hate worms and slimy things.” She sighed. “It’s probably the difference in how we were raised though.” She sniffed softly. “I was raised in the East. I’m sure you’re a farmer’s daughter or something.” The disdain in her voice was obvious. She made it very clear that she thought gardening, and Lily, were beneath her.

Lily couldn’t believe the assumption. “I guess it makes sense to think that, but I’m a banker’s daughter. I think you know my sister, Rose?” Her eyes looked up from her gardening and she met Laura’s daring her to say anything else against her.

Laura blinked a few times before laughing slightly. “I’m so sorry. I was being really snotty, wasn’t I?” She shook her head before dropping to her knees beside Lily trying to help get all the weeds out of the ground for the spring planting. “I guess you really can’t judge a book by its cover.” The girl’s voice was filled with remorse.

Lily grinned. “No, you can’t. I never liked doing all the girly things that my mother expected me to do, but now that I’m married, I try to act more feminine.” She sighed. “At least when my husband’s around.” She gave Laura a wink.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were married.” She looked at Lily with surprise. “What’s his name?”

“Daniel. We’ve only been married a couple of months, though.” Lily looked over at Laura who now had her hands in the dirt beside her. Lily wondered if the other woman would have helped if she hadn’t realized they were of a similar background. “What was your marriage like?”

Laura shook her head. “William and I have been married for just a year. Right after we got married, he decided he wanted to come out west. He heard about all the job opportunities out here, so we came to Seattle. He’s a logger.” She kept her face averted as she talked about him.

Lily nodded, encouraging her to talk. She was there to help out around the house, but she found that the women there seemed to move on a lot faster if they had someone they could talk to about what had happened. “Did you like being a logger’s wife?”

Laura sighed heavily. “I wasn’t brought up doing all the work in the house. We had servants. I probably should have been better at it.” Her voice held a lot of remorse.

“Why do you say that?”

Laura shrugged. “Every time I burned a meal, he’d get angry. At first, he just yelled a lot, but then he started hitting me.” She pointed to her nose, which was still swollen and bruised. “I went to the doctor the first time he broke something, but he did so much more before that.”

Lily could see the bruises on her arms. “I’m glad you came here.” Despite the younger girl’s obvious feelings of superiority, Lily was glad to have her around.

“My mother would be mortified if she knew I left my husband. She thinks that you should stay with a man no matter what.” Laura pulled another weed and threw it into the pile they’d made. “I don’t know what I’ll do from here.”

Lily nodded understandingly. “Have you tried to find a job to support yourself?” She was glad the other woman wasn’t with child. At least there were no extra mouths to feed.

“Not yet. I’ve only been here a couple of days and Mr. and Mrs. Higgins told me to take it easy at first. They said I have all the time I need before I get a job and move out.” She looked over at Lily. “I have no skills. I’m not really fit to work. I don’t know what I’ll do to support myself, but if I go back to my mother, she’ll just force me to come out here again, because of her beliefs.”

Lily patted her arm, the first time she’d touched her, and wasn’t surprised when the younger woman shied away from her. “We’ll find you something you’re good at.”

“Does your husband hit you?”

If anyone else had asked her that, Lily would have been shocked, but here, the women seemed to think it was the normal way of things. Lily shook her head. “No, he never would.” Daniel wasn’t perfect, but he would never hit a woman.

“Then why are your eyes so sad? Don’t you love him?” Laura obviously didn’t understand.

Lily was startled by that question. Were her eyes sad? “I do love him. I’ve loved him since I was twelve.” She sucked in a breath. “He’s in love with my sister, though.” She spoke the last words in a whisper. Sure, she’d told other people the same thing, but this woman was a virtual stranger.

Laura’s eyes widened. “He told you that?”

Lily shook her head. “He didn’t have to tell me. He courted Rose long before he ever courted me. When she married someone else, he turned his attentions to me. He keeps telling me he loves me, but I know he doesn’t. He loves my sister.”

“Why don’t you believe him? Has he done something to make you distrust him?” Laura looked at Lily questioningly.

“No, but he was in love with my sister for years, and he couldn’t have gone from her to me. We’re so different. There’s no way he loves me.” Lily felt like crying as she said the words, but she held it in. This woman had been through so much that her troubles seemed trivial in comparison.

Laura shook her head. “I hope you haven’t told him that. I don’t think you’re being very fair to your husband claiming that he’s lying when he says he loves you. Maybe something happened to make him realize that she was all wrong for him.”

“Well, he says that she would have bored him within a week.” But she knew he didn’t mean it. How could he? He hadn’t been bored when he’d followed her around with a pack of other young men.

Laura nodded. “And when you have relations? Does he seem to be thinking of someone else?”

Lily thought about that. “No, of course not. His mind is definitely on me and what we’re doing.” What did that have to do with anything?

“I think you’re throwing his love back in his face for no reason. You need to trust him and tell him you trust him, or he really will stop loving you.” Laura dug a few more weeds out with a vengeance. “A lot of women would be thrilled to be in your shoes, and you’re unhappy. You’re not being very fair to your husband.”

Nothing more was said between the two women as they continued weeding the garden. Lily couldn’t believe Laura was being so blunt with her, but she realized that maybe it was what she needed.

A
ll that day
, Lily couldn’t take her mind off what Laura had said to her. As she walked home through the bustling Seattle streets, her mind was still on Daniel and whether or not he could possibly be telling her the truth. He said he loved her, but he’d said the same thing about Rose for a lot of years. How could she know for sure?

As she was passing the bank, Daniel stepped outside, calling her name. She turned with a smile on her lips. He rushed to her side and kissed her briefly on the mouth. “Where are you headed?” she asked. “Aren’t you supposed to work another hour?” Not that she wasn’t happy to see him. Sometimes she felt like she was only truly alive when he was with her.

“Your father said to go home early and take my bride out for dinner somewhere special.” He shrugged. “Who am I to argue with the boss man?”

She smiled. “But what about the dinner being prepared at home?” She didn’t really care, but for Rebecca’s sake she felt she should make a token protest.

“Does it really matter? Rebecca can heat it up for lunch tomorrow or for dinner again tomorrow night.” He took her hand pulling her toward the restaurant. “I want to take you out to dinner tonight.”

“I’d love that.” She watched his face more closely, wondering if Laura could be right. Could he have switched from loving Rose to loving her? Was that even possible with as different as the two of them were? And did I even have a right to tell him who he did love and who he didn’t love?

Once they were seated in the restaurant and had placed their orders, he took her hand and brought it to his lips. “I missed you today.”

She grinned. “I missed you, too. I kept thinking about yesterday.” Her eyes twinkled into his. “I want to have another day like that very soon.”

His lips spread into a wide grin. “I could give Rebecca the day off on Saturday and we could spend the afternoon on a blanket in the back garden.” Rebecca was their only servant. A day off for her would mean being all alone.

She thought about their back garden with the high stone wall around it. “That sounds very nice.” Her tongue slowly licked her lips. “I used to think fishing was the best way to spend a Saturday afternoon. I think I found a way that’s even better.” Her eyelids were heavy as she looked at him, remembering how it had felt last night. She couldn’t wait to feel him deep inside her again.

“That’s a plan.”

She was startled at how carnal her thoughts had become and quickly cleared her throat. “How was work today?” She knew he’d understand her sudden change of subject, but she prayed he’d just go with it and not say anything.

He nodded. “It was good. Your father hired a new man to replace Charles, and he’s a fast learner. He’s already doing a better job than Charles did after working at the bank for three weeks.”

“I’m glad.”

“What did you do today?” he asked, his eyes still boring into hers, letting her know in no uncertain terms what they’d be doing as soon as they got home that evening.

“I worked at the shelter again.” She wondered if she should bring up her conversation with Laura but decided against it. He didn’t need to hear that she had talked to someone else about her private fears. Especially a total stranger.

“What did they have you doing today?”

“I worked in the garden. There are a lot of dead plants and weeds that need to be cleared out before we can plant the vegetables for the kitchen garden.” She never talked about the way the different women talked to her there. She felt like their lives needed to be kept confidential.

“Did you have help, or was it just you this time?”

“A new woman worked with me.” She laughed. “She assumed she couldn’t dig in the dirt and I could because she thought I was a farmer’s daughter.” She knew she shouldn’t be amused, but she was. How could she not be?

Daniel’s eyes crinkled with laughter. “That makes sense to me. I can truly see that. Of course, you’re a banker’s daughter and when she realized that?”

Lily grinned. “When she realized that, she dropped to her knees in the dirt and helped me out. We got a lot accomplished back there.” Not only weeding either. Laura had certainly given Lily something to think about while they worked.

He studied her for a moment, only then realizing that she was wearing no jewelry and had gone back to wearing her old dresses. “You don’t like to wear jewelry to the shelter?” Did she not care for any of the gifts he’d given her?

Lily shook her head, not willing to tell him she only wore the jewelry when they would be together. “No, I don’t. I’m always afraid I’ll lose it.” And she was afraid she’d lose it.

He frowned at that, wondering if she liked the gifts he’d been sending. He had no idea what else to give her to show his love, but the gifts of jewelry and perfume were definitely not working. He’d figure something out.

Their soup was served then and he didn’t say anything else as they both turned their attention to eating, but whether or not she liked the gifts stayed at the back of his mind. He wanted her to know that he loved her with everything inside him. He could still see the sadness in her eyes. There had to be a way.

As they walked back to their home together, holding hands in the dark, he asked her if she’d like to go fishing in a week.

She sighed. “I think I should probably stay home and work on my knitting.” She wanted to go fishing with him more than anything, but if he didn’t care about her, then she had to make him.

He shook his head sadly, expecting the answer, but wishing she was willing to stay the woman he’d fallen in love with and married, instead of constantly trying to better herself.

A
fter church Sunday
, they went to Rose’s parents’ house for Daisy’s birthday. Lily couldn’t believe Daisy was already fifteen. That was older than she’d been when she had fallen for Daniel. She couldn’t help but wonder if Daisy had a man in mind, but her shy younger sister would never admit it if she did.

Lily had made Daisy a hat out of the white rabbit fur she had left from the muffs she’d made for her sisters for Christmas. Daisy had smiled and tried it on, obviously thrilled with it.

Lily glanced at her across the room, sitting with her new hat on and wearing a necklace their parents had gotten for her. She was still her usual quiet shy self, but there was a new air of confidence about her.

As she sat again her in parents’ house watching her sisters, she was surprised by how distanced she felt from them. Amaryllis, the sister after her in age, came and sat beside her on the sofa, her eyes sad. “What’s wrong?” Amaryllis didn’t usually seek her out with problems, so she knew it must be something serious.

Amaryllis shrugged. “I just heard that Alex is seeing someone else from the town he goes to college in.”

Lily immediately felt bad for her. “Oh, I’m sorry! Who did you hear it from?” Lily knew she’d be heartbroken if it had been Daniel.

“No one said it to me directly, but I heard Higgins talking to Mildred about it the last time I worked at the shelter. Her name is Sarah.”

Lily slipped her arm around her sister’s shoulders. “I wish it had worked out for you two.” She didn’t know what else to say to her, but wished she had the words to make her feel better.

Amaryllis glared at Mary. “It would have if Mama hadn’t interfered.” She sniffed once. “I think he was my soul mate.”

Lily raised an eyebrow. “Soul mate?” Where had her sister even heard that term?

“In all the romance books, every woman has a soul mate. A man who is the only perfect man for her. And I know Alex was mine.”

Lily stifled a laugh at her sister’s theatrics. Even with as bad as she felt for her, Amaryllis was way over the top. “If he were your soul mate, I’m certain it would have worked out between you.”

“Not with our mama. She could ruin the love of Antony and Cleopatra! Romeo and Juliet! Why, she could ruin the love of Napoleon and Josephine!”

Lily couldn’t control it anymore. A giggle escaped her lips. “Don’t you think you’re being just a little bit over dramatic?” she asked when Amaryllis glared at her.

Amaryllis frowned. “No, I don’t. I love him, Lily!” Fat tears trickled down her face, making Lily feel like a heel.

“I’m sorry, Rilly. I wish I could fix it for you.” Amaryllis had been a bookworm her entire life. She’d learned to read when she was three and hadn’t put down a book since. The fact that she’d found a boy to love her at such a young age was a surprise to Lily, because she never seemed to talk to any boys that were around.

“I never should have given my heart to a man!” Amaryllis declared. “I’m going to join a convent!”

Lily studied her sister for a moment before pointing out the obvious. “We’re not Catholic.”

Amaryllis stood up and glared down at Lily. “See? Mama and Papa ruin everything!” She ran from the room on a sob.

Lily’s eyes met Mary’s. “How long has she been like that?” She’d never seen Amaryllis distraught over anything, so this was really a surprise for her.

Mary sighed, moving to sit beside Lily. “About two weeks. She apparently overheard Mildred say something to Higgins about a girl named Sarah. I don’t know anything else.” Her hand squeezed Lily’s. “Every time we’re in the same room together she glares at me and always ends up jumping up and running from the room in tears.”

“Wow. That’s really not like her.” Lily hoped there was nothing more wrong with her sister than a broken heart.

“No, it’s not, but she was certain she and Alex were going to spend their lives together.” Mary shook her head. “There’s a reason we don’t let you girls court before you turn eighteen.”

“I know, Mama, and I think it’s a good reason. I’ve talked to the women at the shelter, and it’s hard not to see the reasoning behind it.” She never would have had the courage to have Aunt Harriett approach Daniel for her if she’d been younger.

Mary nodded. “That’s why you work at the shelter.” She shook her head, determined to be positive. “So how’s your marriage, Lily? Are you expecting yet?”

Lily looked at her mother in surprise. “I didn’t know you were so eager for more grandchildren.” Her mother had always seemed content bringing up her brood of girls.

Mary shrugged. “Well, of course I am. Your papa and I want dozens of grandchildren.”

Daniel walked in then, his eyes meeting Lily’s. He sat beside her on the couch, sandwiching her between him and her mother. His hand stroked hers, letting her know he was ready to go home whenever she was.

“I’ll let you know when something happens, Mama.” Lily hoped the way she’d phrased the statement would keep Daniel from saying anything.

Daniel looked down at her. “When what happens?”

She blushed. “Mama was asking me if I’m expecting yet.” She pinched his hand letting him know she didn’t want
him
to respond to the question.

Daniel grinned and leaned over in front of Lily to speak to her mother. “It’s not for lack of trying, Mrs. Sullivan. I promise, I’m doing the very best that I can.” His eyes danced as they met her mother’s.

Lily’s jaw dropped in shock that he’d speak to her mother that way. She swatted his arm. “Daniel!” What was he thinking saying that to her mama?

Mary chuckled merrily. “Keep it up, and we’ll have lots of grandchildren in no time!”

As they walked home, Lily glared at Daniel. “I can’t believe you said that to my mother! She’ll think we’re constantly having relations!” She wasn’t really angry, but she was more than a little shocked.

Daniel laughed. “Aren’t we?”

Lily bit her lip. “Well, yes, but I don’t want my mama to know that!”

He slipped his arm around her shoulders. “At least she knows we’re trying to make a baby for her.”

“Do you want a baby? I mean, I know you do eventually, but do you want one soon?” Until that evening, Lily hadn’t really considered having a baby with him. Sure, in that back of her mind it had been a future thing, but now, he’d brought it to the forefront.

“I’d love one whenever it comes our way.” He kissed the top of her head as they walked. “I love the idea of seeing you holding our baby.”

She smiled, liking the idea of carrying his child. Would he fall in love with her if she were expecting his baby? She hoped so. Maybe it could give her something to look forward to, but did she really want that to be the only reason he loved her? She sighed. What was wrong with her? “Well, I guess if you want a baby so badly, we could…you know tonight.”

He chuckled. “As if we weren’t going to anyway!” He grinned down at her, obviously content with their marriage.

She giggled. “You do have a point there.”

When they arrived home, she slipped the meal Rebecca had prepared the day before into the oven so it would heat up in time for them to eat, before going into his study where he sat going over a ledger. “What are you doing?”

He shrugged. “Your father gave me this ledger to look over.” His eyes met hers. “It looks like Charles wasn’t stupid after all. He may have been stealing from the bank.” He set the ledger down and leaned back in his chair.

“How can you tell?” Lily looked down at the paper and just saw columns of numbers that meant nothing to her.

“Well, this was found under some other things at his desk. Nothing like this was turned in, and you can see that several cents are missing every day. I went back over his ledgers that he showed us, and there were at least five cents missing every day
.
It was several dollars over the course of the time he was there.” Daniel shook his head, making it clear he didn’t want to have to be the one to say anything.

He pulled her down onto his lap, holding her close. “It’s not going to be easy to tell your father that we were all duped by Charles.” He rubbed his face against her hair.

She nodded, kissing his head. “He won’t be mad at you, though. He thinks the world of you, Daniel.” She realized that she did, too. Sitting with him this way brought home all the reasons she was happy she’d married him and not someone else. Someone like James never would have treated her with any kind of affection. She was very fortunate to have Daniel as her husband.