Homespun Hearts (57 page)

“I think deep down I knew that very day that Lily was meant for me, not Rose.” Daniel grinned as he thought about how amused he’d been by Lily that day. He probably should have felt indignant that she’d tried to hurt Rose, but all he could do was laugh.

“Good luck to you. You’ll need it with that one.”

Daniel grinned. “She’s pretty wonderful. I’ve never met anyone like her.”

“I’ll find a way to get her out here to talk to you.”

“Thanks.” Daniel watched the older man go, so thankful he’d come along when he had. If he’d married Rose, he wouldn’t be marrying the love of his life now. He should thank him every day.

He went to the back of the garden and sat on the bench he typically shared with Lily when he came by in the evenings. He’d wait as long as it took. This whole mess needed to be straightened out immediately.

L
ily hurried
out of the house, finally breaking away from discussions on what finger foods would be served for the wedding. Really, who cared? It’s not like anyone other than family would be there anyway. How could Rose and her mother discuss such minute topics for such long periods of time? It made her crazy. She was so ready to get out of that houseful of women, and do what she wanted!

She walked through the garden, heading for the bench in the back, but keeping her eyes out for Daniel along the way. He could be somewhere else, but she doubted it. He was almost always on the back bench waiting for her. She liked knowing that he was so predictable.

She spotted the bench and sure enough, there he was, sitting with his forearms braced on his knees, looking down at the ground as if something was wrong. Was he unhappy that he was marrying her? Did he want to call it off?

She stopped in front of him, the leaves crunching under her feet. “Hello.”

He looked up, his eyes dancing happily at the sight of her. Could he look at her that way and really have no feelings for her? At least she knew he wanted her physically even if he was in love with Rose. That mattered, didn’t it?

She sat down beside him on the bench, immediately sliding close and resting her head on his shoulder. “I swear, if one more person asks me if I prefer egg salad sandwiches or ham sandwiches for the wedding, I’m going to start poking eyes out.” She wondered if she’d seemed too violent by saying that.

Daniel laughed, his arm wrapping around her. “That’s my girl. I knew you didn’t want to be in there talking wedding.”

She shuddered. “It’s all they talk about. It’s all they think about. Who cares about the wedding itself? I just want to be married to you so I can sleep all night in your arms.” She wished she could be closer to him as they sat together on the bench. Surely the next few days would go by quickly so she could be with him.

He kissed the top of her head. “I want to be married to you, too. There’s nothing I want more.” He tilted her chin up so her eyes met his. “Why do you think I’m marrying you, Lily?”

She shrugged, not meeting his eyes. “I don’t let myself think about it,” she told him honestly.

He sighed. “Lily, I’m marrying you because I love you. There’s no other reason.”

She felt a burning behind her eyes at his words, but refused to let the tears fall. She wouldn’t be one of those women who cried around men to get their way. She’d seen Rose do it one time too often and it disgusted her. “You don’t have to say that.” She didn’t want him to say that. They were the words she wanted to hear more than anything, but not when she knew they were a lie.

“Lily, look at me! I love you! I don’t know why you think I’m still in love with Rose, because honestly, that was never more than a crush anyway. Rose would have bored me to tears within a week.” His blue eyes bored into her green. “Rose was a pretty girl who all the boys loved. You’re a beautiful woman. Everything about you makes me want you in my life. I love how you look, but more importantly, I love who you are.”

She shook her head. “Please don’t lie to me. I can accept that you’re marrying me, and I’m only second best, but I can’t accept you lying to me.” She closed her eyes, trying to block out the pain she was feeling at his words.

He stared at her for a minute with a dumbfounded expression. “Fine. I’ll just have to show you I love you. Every day of our lives.”

She shrugged, a tear trickling slowly down her face. She closed her eyes, unable to bear the pain this conversation was causing. Why was he bringing all this up? His lips brushed against hers and she parted her lips for him, needing to be kissed. She needed their passion to remember that she really was good enough for him. He wanted her in his arms, even if she wasn’t Rose. That had to matter, didn’t it?

Her arms went around to his back and she clung to him, returning his kiss ravenously. He made her feel special and loved, even though she knew better.

After a moment, he lifted his head. “We can’t let things get out of control in your mother’s garden. Any of your sisters could be watching.”

Lily turned and looked at the house. The row of windows along the top floor all faced the garden. Any or all of her sisters could be watching them. He was right. “Let’s go for a drive then.” Her eyes were dark with passion and glistening with unshed tears. She needed to be truly alone with him, so she could feel loved again.

“No. Not until we’re married.” His hands stroked her cheek to soften his refusal, but he couldn’t keep being alone with her and not touching her. “The wedding is on Saturday. It’s only five days. We can wait that long.”

She pouted. “I don’t want to wait.” What did five days matter? Why couldn’t he see that it didn’t matter to her?

He groaned. “Neither do I, but we’re going to.”

“Fine. Maybe it would be best if I didn’t see you until the wedding then. I’m terribly busy with all my fittings and last minute details.” She was busy but certainly not so busy she couldn’t see him.

He got to his feet, suddenly angry with her. “That works for me. It’s not like I have all the time in the world to sit around trying to convince you that we should wait until we’re married to be intimate.” He strode toward the house without another word, and she stared after him.

She buried her face in her hands and wept. It was one thing to know he was marrying her without love. It was another entirely to actually discuss it with him. She couldn’t stand the pain that caused. She was glad he wouldn’t be around until after the wedding. It would be better for everyone, wouldn’t it?

She stared in the direction he’d gone and wished she’d been kinder and less nasty. Why couldn’t she just tell him that she was dying inside knowing he loved Rose and not her? Why couldn’t she just lay her cards on the table?

She stood, went back to the house and straight up to her room. Crying seemed like the only thing she could do this evening, and she was going to do it. Sometimes crying was necessary. She didn’t usually think so, but today? Today she needed a good cry. Some days were like that.

T
he day
of the wedding was clear and sunny. It was cold, but not so cold Lily felt like she was going to freeze as soon as she stepped outside. She said a quick prayer of thanks that the day was beautiful and hurried to bathe and get ready for the wedding. Her mother came into her room after she was sitting in her robe and explained relations to her. She wasn’t terribly surprised. She liked the idea of being naked with Daniel. She didn’t tell her mother that, though. Obviously her mother had done it. Rose had said it was wonderful, and she was married to Shawn. If it was wonderful with Dr. Shawn, a boring old man, it would be so much better with Daniel.

She dressed slowly, her wedding gown long sleeved and tight through her middle. She’d never really worn corsets like her sisters, but her mother had told her that no matter how slender she was, she needed a corset for her wedding day. One of the maids had come to help her dress and she felt like she was wearing a suit of armor by the time the corset was tied. Would she even be able to breathe?

Her long red hair was swept up on top of her head in a complicated style she knew she’d never be able to duplicate. Rose had taken one look at her and simply nodded. “You make a beautiful bride, Lily.”

Lily sighed. She knew she couldn’t hold a candle to Rose, but it was nice to hear her sister say the words.

Rose rushed down to take her place with the family, and Fred knocked on the door. “Are you ready?”

Lily turned and smiled at her father. Fred sucked in a breath. “Beautiful. Oh, Lily, how did you get so grown up? You’re still supposed to be climbing trees in the backyard.”

“I climbed the tree out there just two weeks ago, Papa. I’m still me.” Lily knew she had always had a special place in her father’s heart because she was so unlike what her mother thought she should be. She was the closest thing he’d ever have to a son.

Fred laughed the sound booming through the room. “I’m so glad you’re not changing for him. Daniel will be a good husband for you. He’s a good man.”

Lily nodded. “I know, Papa.” She just hoped he wasn’t angry with her anymore. She felt terrible for the way she’d talked to him just days before.

“I was thrilled when he asked if he could court you.”

Lily smiled, her hand reaching for her papa’s arm. “I was, too. Don’t get all sentimental now. I don’t want to cry on my wedding day.” She’d done enough of that leading up to her wedding day.

Fred smiled. “It’s hard to believe my girl who seems the toughest on the outside is the one who is so mushy on the inside.”

“Shhh…no one’s supposed to know that.” They walked slowly down the stairs and to the back door. She stopped in front of the door, startled that there were so many people. “I said just family!” There had to be fifty people there, which wasn’t a lot compared to how many Rose had at her wedding, but more than she’d wanted.

Fred shook his head. “Your mother has a different idea of what ‘just family’ means than you and I do.”

“Would it be terribly rude of me to run out there and tell people to leave before we start the wedding?”

Fred chuckled. “It would.”

She sighed heavily. “I guess I won’t then.” Iris opened the door and she and Fred walked slowly to the arch placed under the tree. They’d not had to use a tent because of the clear day, so she was thrilled.

Daniel stood, looking handsome in his black suit, watching her with eyes that were lit up. He hadn’t been by since Christmas, and she’d been half afraid he wouldn’t come, but there he stood, waiting for her. She walked to his side, and waited while her father put her hand in his.

The ceremony was short and sweet, everyone wanting to get in out of the cold. Her sisters each wore their favorite color, and she held a single lily as her wedding bouquet. When it was time for Daniel to kiss her, he leaned down and brushed his lips across hers. A soft promise of what was to come. Lily clung to his arm as they walked back into the building, so happy to finally be his wife.

The reception was as different from Rose’s as could be. She’d had hundreds of people swarming around the house and everyone had eaten and danced, spilling into the back garden, because they’d needed the room. Her reception was just a few maids moving around between people, serving the sandwiches, and everyone drinking punch. The voices were low and there was no raucous laughter.

Through it all, Daniel remained by her side. He constantly touched her. Sometimes, it was just his hand at the small of her back. Sometimes his arm was around her shoulders. She found herself leaning into him, thankful that he was there. She hated being the center of attention, and that was the reason she’d wanted a smaller group of people invited to attend. She would have been terribly overwhelmed if not for Daniel at her side.

They cut the cake and fed each other a bite while the people watched. There were no people there she wouldn’t have invited if she’d thought of it, so that made her feel slightly better. Everyone had known her since she was a small child, and she felt like they should be there.

By the time Daniel took her hand and led her to his buggy out front, she was glad to go. Sure, she was a little nervous about her wedding night, but more than anything she was excited about it. She and Daniel would be able to touch each other, and it would be fine.

T
hey were
both quiet during the buggy ride back to his house, and he unlocked the door and let her in. She hadn’t ever actually seen his home and was surprised to see how small it was. She’d somehow expected a home like the one she’d grown up in, but she had no complaints. He showed her around briefly, not that there was much to see. There was a small parlor on the first floor as well as his study and dining room. On the second floor were three bedrooms and a small bathroom with running water, which made her breathe a sigh of relief. They’d had a real bathroom at home for some time, and she didn’t want to have to go back to using an outhouse.

The last room he showed her was very obviously his bedroom. There were two vases of lilies on the dresser, and she smiled up at him. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Making me feel welcome here.” She took his hand and tugged him all the way into the room, closing the door behind him. “Now wasn’t there something you said we could do once we were married?”

He laughed, his hands going to her shoulders to pull her against him. “I think it might be time.” His lips dropped to hers, kissing her frantically, while his hands roamed over her back, feeling the whale bone of the corset underneath her dress. “Why are you wearing this contraption? You don’t need it!” He hated that she’d put on a corset for their wedding.

She sighed. “I know, but Mama said if I never wore one again in my life, I would wear one on my wedding day if it killed us both. I lost the energy to fight.” She moved uncomfortably. “It needs to come off soon.”

“How about we get it off you then?” He used his hands to turn her around and unbutton the myriad of tiny buttons that started at her neckline and went all the way down to the base of her spine.

“I feel like I haven’t been able to breathe for about six hours, so taking it off sounds like an absolutely brilliant idea to me.” She stood still while he carefully undid each button.

“If we ever get married again, you need to have a dress with bigger buttons that are easier to undo. And fewer of them. By the time I’ve got these unbuttoned, we’re both going to be so tired, we’re not going to be able to make love.”

She laughed. “I think we’ll manage.”

“Maybe we will.” He finished the last button, and pushed her dress off her shoulders, his hands then going to her corset strings. He untied her and pushed the garment down over her hips. “There.”

She took a deep breath, her hands going to her sides to rub them where the corset had chafed her skin. “I probably should have worn a corset for a few days before in preparation, but I just couldn’t torture myself that much.”

He dropped a kiss to the side of her neck, smiling against her skin. “That’s my girl. I’m so glad you don’t pay attention to what people think you should do, and just do what feels right to you instead. So much better.”

She smiled, tilting her head to the side to give him better access. “I think so, too. I hope you always feel that way about my boyish tendencies.” She worried that he would change his mind any minute.

“How could I not when you’re perfect just the way you are?”

She turned in his arms, refusing to be a passive participant in their lovemaking. “I’m so excited that we get to do this together.” She grinned up at him, showing him all the delight she felt at the idea of making love.

He grinned at her. “You’re supposed to pretend to be shy about it all.” How could he tell her that he was delighted she wasn’t acting like she was afraid she’d break if he touched her with passion?

She made a face. “Oh well. This is where you remember that you like the way I flaunt society’s rules. You just like me for who I am and go on.”

He laughed. “Oh, I love that you’re eager.” His face became serious for a moment. “You know it will hurt the first time, right?” He was concerned he’d led her to believe it would only be pleasure.

She shrugged. “I’ve felt pain before. I’m ready for it to feel glorious the second time.”

He grinned, his mouth taking hers in a ravenous kiss. How could any man have not fallen in love with Lily the moment they met her?
He’d been blind, but he was so glad he’d seen the special woman she was before it was too late.

Her hands pushed his suit jacket off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. His shirt was next. She carefully unbuttoned every button and pushed it off his shoulders and to the floor. Her hands went to the waist of his pants and she attacked the buttons quickly and efficiently, pushing his pants and his under drawers from his body. Her eyes went immediately to his erection and she clutched it in her hand. “Wow,” she whispered.

He laughed, sounding choked. “Wow? What does that mean?” Of all the things he’d expected her to say upon seeing him this way that was the last.

“It’s different than I expected.” She stroked her hand over it, her thumb finding the tip and brushing over it. She was surprised by how it felt, as if velvet had been placed over solid iron.

He nodded, finally catching her hand. “If you keep that up, we’re not going to be able to make love.”

Her eyes stared into his innocently. “Why?” She wanted to understand everything about how this worked.

His hands quickly tugged her petticoats over her head and dropped them to the floor before he picked her up and carried her to the bed. She was a tall woman, but slender, so lifting her was no hardship. He laid her gently on the bed, before following her down, kissing her shoulders. He ignored her question not certain how to answer it. He didn’t want to get into the complexities of the male body with her right before they made love.

His hands stroked up and down her body, his mouth latching onto her nipple. He moved his right knee between her legs, sliding it up to her center and pressing there. She groaned, rolling her head back and forth as she stared down at him kissing her that way. Her hands wove into his think dark hair, stroking him. Why was he kissing her and not pushing inside her like her mother had said he’d do?

His hand replaced his knee and he lifted his head to watch her face as he slowly slid a finger inside her damp warmth. He watched her carefully searching for any sign of pain, but she was arching her hips toward him, moaning softly. After a moment, he added a second finger, sliding it slowly in and out of her heat. When she showed no signs of pain, he moved between her spread legs, pressing his hard member against her opening.

She let out a quick gasp of pain as he slid inside her, her fingers clutching his shoulders, digging her nails in. He stilled for a moment, watching her. “I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. “No, it has to be this way. You warned me.” She moved a bit flexing her hips to see if the pain had receded. The accompanying pleasure that shot through her startled her. “It’s better now.”

He pulled out and moved back into her experimentally, not wanting to hurt her, yet aching to finish. At her gasp of pleasure, he smiled, and began moving in earnest, his lips fastening to hers.

Lily moaned against his lips. Rose had been right. This was glorious. She loved the way he felt moving in and out of her. She felt like something was happening, but she wasn’t sure what. A pressure was building deep inside her that he seemed to be striving toward. Finally, she clutched his shoulders as something broke inside her. She let out a half scream against his lips and he moved into her a few more times, before collapsing atop her.

She wrapped her arms around him and held him close, enjoying the feel of his sweaty back against her palms. He propped himself up on his hands, trying to take some of his weight from her. He started to roll off, but she held him close.

“I’m too heavy,” he protested. He didn’t want to hurt her any more than he already had.

“No, you feel good. It feels right to have you against me like this.” She pressed her lips against his. “I liked that.”

He laughed. “I liked it, too. We’ll do it a lot.”

“Like every week? Every month?” What was a lot for this sort of thing? She had no idea.

He grinned. “Twice a night if I have my way.”

“We can? It’s okay?” Would they really get to feel this good that often? Or was he joking with her?

“We’re married.” He kissed her, his tongue tangling with hers. “We’ll do it as much as you’d like.”

“Mmmmm…”

He rolled to her side, pulling her head to pillow on his chest. “I missed you this week. All I could think about was kissing you and holding you close.” His hands stroked up and down her back. “And I kept wondering what it would be like to be inside you.”

She smiled against his shoulder. “I like that.” She ran her fingers through the light thatch of hair that covered his chest. “I’m glad we’re married now and can be together anytime we want.”

“Me too.” His hands stroked through her hair, which was still piled high. He pulled the pins out and made a small pile of them on the table beside the bed. “You’re perfect.”

She let out a short laugh. “My mother would be happy to debate that point with you.” She kissed his shoulder.

“Let me rephrase that. You’re perfect for me. There’s no other woman I’d rather have beside me.” He held her tightly. “I love you, Lily.” He watched her face close up as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

Lily let out a sigh, her eyes turning sad. She kissed him one last time, before turning her back to go to sleep. “Good night, Daniel.” She stared at the wall in front of her, knowing she couldn’t face him when he’d just lied to her. How could he be so wonderful one minute and lie the next?

Daniel stared at her back, hating the way she’d shut down when he mentioned his love. How could he convince her of how he felt? He settled against her back, pulling her against him. “Good night, Lily.”

The kiss she felt against the back of her head made the first of the tears start to fall
.

S
he woke
the following morning to Daniel lying with his head on his pillow, his eyes wide open as he watched her sleep. She came slowly awake, her eyes fluttering. She gave him a tentative smile, her eyes burning from the crying she’d done the previous night. He looked so sexy to her, lying there with his hair ruffled, the covers down around his waist.

She knew she should have been cold, because the fire had long since died out, but she wasn’t. She felt warm as she saw him watching her. His hand reached out and stroked her cheek. “You’re beautiful in the mornings.”

She blushed. “My hair’s all tangled and I’m sure I have creases from the pillow in my cheek.”

“That’s what’s beautiful about you. You’re real.” He moved toward her, his hand pulling the cover down off her shoulders. He waited for her to protest, and when she didn’t, he pressed against her.

Lying watching her sleep had aroused him more than kissing another woman would. He knew he’d never be able to get enough of this woman. His lips went to hers as his hands cupped her breasts, one leg moving against hers under the covers. “Is it time to get ready for church?” she asked, not really wanting to go, but knowing they should.

“We’re skipping church today. I’ve made big plans,” he whispered against her throat.

“What kind of plans?” She sucked in a breath as his lips touched just the right spot and she felt the dampness between her legs growing.

“Well, first, I’m going to make passionate love to my beautiful wife. Then we’re going to eat breakfast. And then I’m going to take you fishing at my favorite stream.”

She grinned. “Very important plans.” She loved that he planned to spend a day in a way she would enjoy, rather than just taking his own interests into account.

“As long as I spend my time with you, every second is well spent.” His lips covered hers as he began stroking her in earnest, doing his best to raise her need to the fever-pitch he was already experiencing.

Afterward, she rested her cheek on his shoulder. “Are you really taking me fishing today?”

“Well, I didn’t feel like I could take time off from work with no notice for a honeymoon, so I thought we could just spend a day together instead. Does fishing sound good to you?”

She laughed. “Fishing always sounds good to me. I love to fish!” She was so glad they shared such a basic interest. Her parents’ only real interest they seemed to share was their children. She was unsure how they’d gotten together in the first place.

He swatted her bottom. “Get up and get dressed then, woman!”

She got up and pulled her things out of the carpet bag they’d brought in the night before. She dug through and pulled out a skirt and a blouse. He shook his head when he saw them. “You didn’t bring your pants?”

“Well, yes, but I was sure you didn’t want me wearing pants in public now that we’re married.” She bit her lip as she watched him, trying to be certain he wouldn’t mind.

He stared at her in surprise. “Why would you think that? I don’t care what you wear. Pants are suitable for fishing, so you should wear them.” He walked to her putting his hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eye, both of them still naked. “I told you that you’re perfect for me just the way you are. Please don’t change.”

She sighed and nodded. “I just don’t want you to be embarrassed of me. I know I’m not most men’s idea of feminine beauty.” She wasn’t any man’s idea of beauty, but she wasn’t going to argue that with him.

He laughed, looking her up and down. Her hair was down and reached past her bottom. Her legs were long and slim. Her waist was tiny between her flared hips and generous breasts. “They’re stupid then. Very very stupid.”

She smiled, wishing she could be certain he’d always feel that way. While Lily dressed, she thought about their night together and knew she’d made a good choice marrying him. He may be in love with her sister, but he made her feel loved, and that’s what really mattered.

They went to the same fishing hole they’d gone to before, and she outfished him. He loved watching her face each time she reeled in another fish. She truly enjoyed being outdoors, and he loved it. So many girls he’d known would have complained about how dirty the branch they sat on was. How slimy the worms and fish. She never blinked at those things. She just kept fishing.