Homespun Hearts (58 page)

When they took a break to eat the picnic lunch she’d packed, they sat on the blanket together. He kept her hand in his while they ate, even though she complained it was hard to eat with only one hand. He could see her eyes flashing with laughter, though, so he didn’t mind.

After they finished lunch, she got up to put everything in the picnic basket and he grinned as she bent over in front of him. “I know why women aren’t allowed to wear pants.”

She turned to him, her eyes questioning. “Why is that?” She wondered what he was thinking as he watched her.

“Because if all women wore pants, men would spend all their time staring at their bottoms in them.”

Lily blushed. “Are you looking at my bottom, sir?” She turned around so her front was to him, embarrassed.

Daniel nodded. “I sure am. And I like it, too.”

She straightened up, her eyes dancing at him. “Really? And what are you going to do about it?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Well, it is our one day honeymoon, so…” He caught her hand and pulled her down onto his lap, laughing softly. “I think I’m going to force you to be wicked.”

“Wicked? It’s not wicked when we’re married.”

He laughed, his hands going to the buttons on her pants. “Why no, no it’s not.”

They didn’t catch as many fish that afternoon as they had in the morning, but she didn’t complain. Fishing with him was a lot of fun, but other things with him, set her body on fire. How had she gotten so lucky that she had a man who treated her so well, and made love to her so sweetly?

When they finally packed everything up to go home, she was sad. No, it hadn’t been a day at the beach, or a honeymoon in the mountains, but it had been her first full day of marriage. She hated that he was going back to work the next day, but there was nothing she could do about it.

Once they were home, she fried up the fish they’d caught and set the table. She wasn’t much of a cook, but she’d done enough fishing that she’d learned to clean and cook fish, so she could enjoy the fruits of her labors on her own by the stream before going home if she wanted to.

He complimented her on the meal, before taking her hand and leading her up the stairs, his intentions written clearly in his eyes. “I only have this one day with just you before going back to work. Let’s make the most of it…”

A
s Daniel made
the ten minute walk to work the following morning, he couldn’t help but think about how upset Lily was because she was so determined he didn’t love her. No matter what he said or did, she couldn’t be convinced otherwise.

He didn’t want Lily to be unhappy, so he had to find a way to convince her that it wasn’t Rose he loved, but her sister. He sighed. How was that even possible? He already showered her with attention, constantly told her she was beautiful, and told her he loved her. He could shower her with gifts, he supposed, but he’d never really done that before and had no idea what to do.

He had to figure something out, though, because she needed to know how loved and cared for she was.

As he passed the small florist’s shop, he stopped and looked in the window and then wandered into the store. He knew lilies were out of season, but this was one time when he just didn’t care about money. He’d pay every last dime he had to make her realize how loved she was.

He asked that a bouquet of multi-colored lilies be delivered to his home and scrawled on the card, “I miss you already.” He debated on how to sign it, because she hated it when he told her he loved her, so instead of signing it love, he signed, “Your adoring husband, Daniel.” Yes, that would work.

He paid the clerk and rushed off to the bank, knowing he’d be a minute or two late. He’d never been late, and he certainly didn’t want Fred to think he expected preferential treatment just because he was married to his daughter. When he breezed in, Fred raised an eyebrow at him as if to ask what had happened. Instead of ignoring it, Daniel went into Fred’s office with him and shut the door, taking the seat across from him.

“I’m very sorry I was late. I was buying flowers for Lily.” He knew he didn’t have to explain, but he felt the need.

“Did you already mess up, son?”

Daniel shook his head. “I don’t think so, but maybe.” He sighed heavily, wishing he knew how much he could share with her father.

“Talk to me.”

“She thinks I’m still in love with Rose. She doesn’t believe me when I tell her I love her. She usually starts crying when I say it, and accuses me of lying to her.”

Fred sighed. “She’s always felt like she wasn’t quite as good as Rose. Rose’s grades were always slightly better. When they sewed, Rose’s stitches were always slightly straighter.” He shrugged. “She has things she does so much better than Rose. Lily can climb a tree like a squirrel, and she can fish and hunt better than any man I’ve ever met. But those things don’t matter to her, because she doesn’t think she should be doing them. Even though they’re what she enjoys.” His eyes met Daniel’s. “You’ve got a hard road ahead of you, son. I hope you can convince her.”

Daniel nodded, getting to his feet. “So do I. I honestly don’t know what else to do.” He stopped with his hand on the door knob. “I won’t be late again.” His eyes met his father-in-law’s.

Fred nodded. “I know that.”

Daniel spent the day thinking about what he could do for Lily to show her he cared. He had no ideas at all. He loved Lily, more than he’d ever loved anyone, but how could he convince her of that?

L
ily was writing thank
you notes for wedding gifts received that afternoon when the flowers were delivered. The maid brought them to her, and she smiled as she read the card, her fingers tracing the words he’d written.

She set the flowers down and went back to her writing. She really wished he’d saved his money and bought her a good fishing pole, but flowers were pretty. They’d wilt and die, but she could enjoy them for a few days.

E
very day that week
, a new gift was delivered. Sometimes flowers, sometimes jewelry, one time it was a bolt of pretty fabric to make a new dress. Each gift just made her feel sadder. Did Daniel not know her at all? Or worse, did he want her to become a carbon copy of Rose? Someone who only wanted flowers and jewelry? She wasn’t her sister and she never could be.

Every day the gifts came, and every day she thanked him sweetly when he came home. Every day he thought she looked just a little bit sadder. He wanted her to be happy, but he didn’t know how to help her get there.

Their love life was wonderful. They made love for hours every night, and the only time she seemed truly happy was in his arms. So he kept her naked in bed as much as possible, always being careful not to tell her he loved her afterward. How could they get past this?

T
hey’d been married
a full month when Lily realized that Daniel wasn’t happy in their marriage. All the gifts he was sending her were for one reason and one reason only. He was tired of the way she wore pants around the house and wanted her to act like a lady for a change. She’d always promised herself she wouldn’t do that for any man, but how could she keep that promise when it was Daniel?

She went to Rose and talked to her, telling her Daniel wanted her to be a real lady like she was. That he wanted her to stop wearing pants around the house and start wearing jewelry.

Rose shook her head. “Lily, Daniel loves you. I can see it in his eyes every time he looks at you. He doesn’t want you to change!”

Lily sighed. “Then why would he buy me pretty fabric and jewelry? He wants me to start wearing those things for him. I just know it.” She wanted more than anything to make Daniel happy.

Rose sighed. “I’ll go to the dressmaker with you, but I think you should just talk to the man. He loves you, Lily. He loves you like you’ve never even dreamed of being loved.”

Lily shrugged. “Let’s go get my fabric made into dresses. That’s what he wants, so that’s what he’ll get.” Well, what he wanted was Rose, and since she couldn’t be Rose, she’d at least try to be as much like her as she could.

The two sisters spent a pleasant day together, picking out which style of dresses they wanted to go with the fabric they took with them. Lily decided while they shopped that the pants would stop immediately. No matter how comfortable they were, she shouldn’t wear them, especially around Daniel. He obviously didn’t appreciate them the way she did.

W
hen Daniel got
home that evening, Lily was dressed in a long flowing gown, looking beautiful. He wasn’t sure why she’d dressed up, but she was smiling and that made him happy. “You look beautiful!”

She smiled, going to him to kiss him. “Thank you.” She wanted him to compliment her on something other than her appearance, but at least he liked something about her.

“What did you do today?”

She shrugged. “Rose and I did some dress shopping.” She hated that she had spent a whole day doing something she hated just to make him happy. She’d always said she’d never be one of those girls.

“That sounds like fun. I’m glad you spent some time with your sister.” He slipped his arm around her as they walked toward the dining room. “What’s for supper?”

“Just pot roast with potatoes and carrots.” She shrugged. They had that at least once per week.

“My favorite!” He grinned down at her.

“I know. That’s why we’re having it. I want you to be happy, Daniel.” She rested her head against his shoulder as they walked.

“Don’t you know that just being married to you makes me happy?” he asked.

She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I’m glad.” She wished she could believe him, though.

L
ily spent hours
staring at the wall in bed that night. She’d so hoped she was wrong about why he was sending the gifts, but she had her proof now. He wanted her to be just like her sister.

He’d been sending her gifts to get her to change for him, and she loved him enough to do it. She hated that he wanted her to, but she would do it.

When she finally fell asleep, she dreamed of big fancy parties and ball gowns and corsets.
Please, God, don’t make me wear corsets…

A
week later
, on her way to the women’s shelter where she still volunteered two afternoons per week, she caught the sound of Daniel’s voice. She stopped to listen to him for a moment before going on. Maybe he’d have time to have lunch with her. She couldn’t quite make out his words, but she knew it was him.

“So how’s married life treating you?” That voice was unmistakably James. She’d done her best to forgive him because he was Daniel’s best friend, but just hearing his voice made her tense.

“Couldn’t be better.” Lily smiled as she heard Daniel say that. He must like the changes she was making. Hopefully when he finished talking to James, she could talk him into having lunch with her.

“I don’t know what you were thinking. If you had to marry one of the flowers, did you have to marry the silliest in the whole garden?”

Daniel laughed.

Lily stood frozen for a moment when she heard his laughter, and then she began to run, uncaring that her full skirt was not meant for running through the streets of Seattle. She ran as fast and as hard as she could until she reached the battered women’s house, and then, instead of going to the front door, she went around to the back and began pulling up some of the dead plants from the previous year. She couldn’t face anyone just yet.

Daniel thought it was funny when his friend called her the “silliest flower in the garden”. She wasn’t silly. She’d done everything she could to make him happy. She’d changed her dress, her mannerisms, everything. Would she ever be good enough for the sweet man she’d married?

She’d been working for thirty minutes or so when Mildred Higgins popped her head out the back door. “Lily! I was expecting you, but when you didn’t come, I got worried.” She grabbed a shawl from behind the door and went outside. “Is everything okay?” She gave Lily a concerned look.

Lily shrugged. “I just thought I’d get some stuff taken care of out here before it’s planting season again.” She kept her face averted, so Mildred wouldn’t see her tears. She really just wanted to be left alone, but she would never say that to Mildred.

“Would you like some help?” Mildred dropped to her knees beside Lily, who obviously hadn’t dressed for gardening. “Sometimes it feels so good to just get your hands dirty.”

“If you want to help that’s fine.” Lily didn’t say another word as she attacked the dead plants with all of the pent up anger she felt.

Mildred watched her for a moment before asking, “What’s wrong? Are you not happy with your marriage?” Her voice was soft and sweet, letting Lily know she was more than willing to listen.

Lily looked up, her eyes brimming with tears once again. “He doesn’t want me to be me. He wants me to be more like Rose.”

Mildred snorted. “If he’d wanted a woman like Rose, he’d have married one. Daniel loves the same things you do. The two of you have fun together. When you’re with each other, I can see the love in his eyes.” She shook her head. “Women like Rose are a dime a dozen. Women like you are special. He could have easily found another woman just like Rose.”

Lily shrugged. “He keeps sending me gifts like flowers and perfume and jewelry and fabric for dresses. Why would he do that if he didn’t want me to change?” She left out what she’d just heard, because she wasn’t ready to talk about that just yet.

“Maybe he just wants to get you gifts, and he doesn’t know what you’d want!” Mildred looked at her as if she had the obvious answer.

Lily shook her head. “I thought maybe that was it, but I started wearing dresses around the house instead of pants, and he started complimenting me and telling me how beautiful I look. No, he wants me to be more of a lady.” She stabbed the spade in her hand into the ground viciously.

Mildred sighed. “He loves you for who you are, Lily. Not for who he wants you to become.”

“He doesn’t love me at all!” Lily got to her feet, throwing down the plant in her hand. “He only loves Rose!” She ran toward the house, ignoring the dirt and leaves clinging to her full skirt. She knew she had to get herself together before she saw Daniel at the end of the day, but how could she? Daniel made it clear he didn’t like who she was.

D
aniel ran
into James as he left the bank, hoping to catch Lily at home for lunch. “It’s good to see you,” he lied. He had a lot less respect for his friend after he’d seen the way he’d treated Lily at the party. He should never have asked him to be his best man, but he knew the other man would be offended and hadn’t been sure how to get out of it.

James grinned. “So how’s married life treating you?”

Daniel knew that James was waiting for him to complain about how awful it was being married to Lily, because he’d never really liked her. “Couldn’t be better.” He loved the look that crossed James’s face at his words. He was obviously unhappy that Daniel enjoyed being married to a tomboy.

James grinned, obviously determined to annoy him. “I don’t know what you were thinking. If you had to marry one of the flowers, did you have to marry the silliest in the whole garden?”

Daniel laughed, annoyed, but determined not to show it. “You know, I couldn’t have picked a better wife for me. She’s absolutely perfect. She loves me and she shows it. Every single day…and night.” He deliberately stifled a yawn. “She keeps me up. I cannot imagine a better wife, and you won’t be talking badly about her. She’s perfect for me.”

Daniel turned and walked away from his friend without another word. What kind of friend wanted him to be unhappy in his marriage anyway? Lily was right. He didn’t need to be around James anymore if he was going to be insulting his wife.

He got home and was told that Lily had already left for the battered women’s shelter. He hated that. He’d really hoped they’d have time to spend together for lunch that day.

L
ily was perfectly dressed
, wearing jewelry and perfume, and sitting in the parlor doing needlepoint when Daniel arrived home that evening. He found her and eyed her with wonder. What had come over his tomboy wife? He didn’t want her to change, but he wasn’t going to stop her. It was the person inside that he loved, not what she did with her time. If she wanted to be more of a lady, she was welcome to do so.

He sat beside her on the couch and kissed her cheek. “You look nice today.” He leaned in and smelled her neck, rubbing his nose against it. “You smell good, too.” He nipped her neck softly.

“Are you saying I usually smell badly?” She looked hurt, as if she’d been crying. Something was wrong, but he had no idea what it was.

Daniel stared at her in horror. “No, I was just complimenting you. That’s all.” He actually preferred her natural smell to the perfumed smell that filled his senses now.

Lily tilted her head to the side, as if trying to decide if he told her the truth. “Thank you then.” She felt so insecure this evening.

Daniel slipped his arm around her shoulders. “I missed you while I was at work today.” He told her the same thing every evening.

She rested her head on his shoulder, snuggling in, needing his touch. “I missed you, too.” She missed him so much every day that she ached with it, wishing he could be home with her.

“What did you do?”

She shrugged. “I spent quite a bit of time at the battered women’s shelter again today, trying to prepare the back garden for spring planting.” She left out the talk she’d had with Mildred.

“Isn’t it a little early for that?” If he wasn’t mistaken, the ground was still frozen and would be hard to get things out of.

“Maybe a little, but sometimes it just feels good to work outside.” She didn’t meet his eyes as she spoke to him. She wasn’t sure that she could. It had been a long hard day.

“I was thinking tomorrow would be a good day to do some fishing if you want to. I asked you father for the day off, and he said he didn’t mind.” He had deliberately asked for a day off, just so they could be together. If nothing else could convince her that he loved her, maybe taking extra time off work just to spend with her would.

Lily thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. “I don’t think so. I have some knitting I want to do for the battered women’s shelter.” Which was true as far as it went. She liked to help make things for the shelter, so the women there could have afghans and gloves and hats. Of course, she usually didn’t knit them, but she certainly knew how. She wanted him to think that she was a capable woman and what better way than to do womanly things?

Daniel stared at her in shock. She was going to knit instead of fish? “Well, you could take your knitting and I could fish while you knit. Then you could be outside while you do it.” He knew if he could get her there she’d fish with him. It was his favorite thing to do with his wife, so hopefully she’d just give in gracefully.

Lily shrugged. She wanted to spend time with him, but she didn’t want him to think of her as boyish anymore. She wanted him to be satisfied with the woman he’d married and not some ideal he was looking for. “That sounds fine. I’ll pack a picnic lunch for us, if you’d like.”

Daniel smiled, brushing a kiss across her lips. “I’d like that a lot.” He wished he knew what was going through her mind, but there was no telling. She’d been a closed book to him lately.

L
ily dressed
in one of her pretty dresses the next day, and Daniel stared at her in shock. “Why aren’t you wearing your pants?”

“I’m a married lady now. I need to dress accordingly.”

“But I’ll be the only one there to see you!” he protested. He hated the idea of her being uncomfortable and worried about getting messy all day just so she could look like a lady. What happened to the tomboy he’d fallen in love with and married?

She walked to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I want to look nice for you, silly. I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me.” And she didn’t, but his opinion truly mattered to her.

His arms wrapped around her. “But I like how you look in pants. And nightgowns. And nothing at all. I really don’t care about any of that. As long as you’re beside me, I’m happy.” He kissed the top of her head, wishing he could convey to her that she didn’t need to change to please him, but it seemed futile.

She smiled slightly. “I’ll wear my dress.”

He grinned. “Well, when you wear a dress, it is easier to do this…” He slowly inched her skirt up and clutched her thigh, wrapping it around one of his legs, and then brought her other leg up around him. He took the three steps it took to topple her backward onto the bed, landing between her legs. “Now I have you at my mercy.”

She giggled. “What will you do with me?” Not that she had any questions about what he’d do, of course. He’d demonstrated that over and over in an extremely satisfying fashion.

He laughed lecherously as he reached down to unfasten his pants, pulling out his already hard member. “What I always do with you, of course.” He moved atop her, his mouth going to her lips, beginning the dance she was so familiar with.

They never made it to the stream that day for fishing or knitting or for anything else. Instead, they spent their day in bed, talking and laughing. The picnic she’d fixed was eaten in the middle of the bed as they simply enjoyed one another’s company.

He talked about his job at the bank and how he would have to work extra hours because her father had to let Charles go. She talked about the battered women’s house, expressing sadness that there were men who would treat women so badly in the world.

“I’ll hate it if you’re not home as much,” she told him. She may not be willing to be her true self around him, but she’d never stop telling him small truths like how he made her feel when he was around.

“I know. As soon as your father finds someone new, it’ll be my job to train him, so it’ll probably be a month of longer hours, and then back to normal again.” He stroked her cheek. “It’s a good thing I love my job.”

Lily laughed. “You just love getting favored treatment as the boss’s son-in-law.” Her words were said laughingly, but there was a small modicum of truth to them she couldn’t deny.

Daniel frowned, looking at her. “You don’t think that’s why I married you, do you?”

Lily shook her head. “No, of course not.” But she had worried about it. Why else would he settle for her? “I was just teasing you.”

“Good. Because I married you for you, Lily. For your laughter, your fun nature, and for your luscious body.” He leaned down and licked her collar bone. “Mmm.”

She giggled. “You’re silly.” She loved it when he made her laugh. Making love without laughter would be a horrible thing.

“You like me when I’m silly.” There was no question in his voice.

She sighed contentedly. Somehow when they were naked what clothes she wore ceased to matter and she could just be herself.

She grabbed his head, pulling him down for a passionate kiss, suddenly needing to show him just how much she loved him in the only way she was certain would work. She couldn’t make herself say the words any longer, because he felt the need to say them back and she knew they were a lie. Each time he told her he loved her, she felt like she died a little more inside.

Her tongue tangled with his as her hands stroked up and down his body, in a way he’d shown her over the weeks of their marriage. Finally, she pushed against his shoulders and rolled him to his back, looking down at his body stretched out beside her. She quickly kissed a trail down his body, over his nipples and across his tight abdomen.

His groan had her looking up at him in surprise. He liked that? She grinned, knowing that he was under her spell. There was no way he could be thinking about her sister while she was touching him this way. She stared for a moment at his already erect manhood, before scooting down to kiss just the tip of it.

He growled and grabbed her shoulders, trying to force her to her back, but she resisted. Instead, with her eyes locked on his, she straddled him, her moist heat hovering over him, before she dropped down. Her eyes widened, startled. She’d never been quite so adventurous with him, and she was shocked at how much better this felt than when he was in control. She slowly took all of him inside her, loving the look in his eyes as she controlled their passion.