Authors: Holly Jacobs
“She seems like a good kid,” Seth said.
“She is,” Tammy's mom agreed. “So's Lisa. Tammy hasn't really fallen in love yet, but Lisa⦔ She smiled. “Well, her romance with Joel reminded me of what it was like to be that young and that much in love. A time when you thought you breathed in and out because of someone else. Do you remember what that was like, Lieutenant?”
Seth had met Allie his freshman year, and for him, it was like that. “Yes, I remember.”
Lisa returned, her eyes wet with tears. “
Merci,
sir.”
“You're welcome, Lisa.” He nodded to Tammy's mom. “Good night, ma'am.”
“Thank you, Officer.”
He glanced back as he walked to his cruiser and saw Tammy's mother envelop Lisa in a hug. It made him think of his own mom.
She'd been on his mind a lot lately.
JT silently glared at him as he got back into the cruiser and drove to Joel's house. Seth threw the cruiser into Park and shut off the engine. JT still slouched in the front seat, not looking at him. He let the boy out of the vehicle and they walked toward his front door.
“Sir,” Joel said. “Before we go in, I want to say thanks again for letting Lisa and me say goodbye.”
Seth stared at the boy. He was rail-thin and gangly, and had the slightest dusting of hair on his lip, but an adult expression of resignation.
“Believe it or not, I remember what it was like to be young, stupid and in love.”
Joel expressed surprise. “You're not going to tell me I'm too young?”
“No, kid, I'm not going to tell you that at all. I don't think there's an age requirement for loving someone. Usually, it happens when you least expect it.”
“I'm still not sure what Lisa saw in me. I'm not one of the cool kids. I'm in marching band and take AP classes. I'd never thought I'd be the kind of guy that the cute, French foreign exchange student falls for.”
“But you are the kind of guy that a smart, insightful girl falls for.”
“And now, I'm losing her. I knew we'd have to say goodbye, but I wasn't ready for it. She was supposed to stay until the end of term, but her grandmother's sick and she needs to go home early.”
“I don't know if we're ever ready to say goodbye to someone we love, kid.” The words he'd intended for the boy rebounded, and far too close to home. Seth needed this conversation to end. “Let's go talk to your parents.”
“My mom's not going to be as cool as Tammy's mom,” Joel told him as he crawled from the backseat.
“No?”
“I'm all she has, and she worries a lot.” Joe's voice dropped, as if he were imparting some great secret. “She's going to be a mess.”
“So why did you sneak out if you knew it might make her worry?” Seth asked as they walked up to the pleasant-looking brick bungalow.
“Have you ever loved a girl, sir?” the boy asked again.
Allie had been it for him. But a memory of Laura popped into his mind and guilt struck him.
“I don't have a key,” Joel said. “I was going to go back in through my bedroom window.”
“We'll knock.”
Seth heard someone at the door, then it flew open. “Joel?”
“Hi, Mom.”
“Hi, Mom?” The woman's voice rose about an octave. “Hi, Mom? You went to bed early because you had a headache.”
“Yeah, but I didn't. I climbed out the window to go see Lisa one more time.”
“And unfortunately, ma'am⦔ Seth let the ma'am hang there, and the woman replied, “Jan. Jan Vesser.”
“Ms. Vesser, the problem is not only did Joel break the city's curfew, two of his friends are at the station now being booked for graffiti.”
“Joel?”
“I didn't do it, Mom. I never would. You know that.”
Joel's mom raked her fingers through her hair. “I might have known it once upon a time, but I don't know you anymore.”
“They were at the playground with me, so I could say goodbye to Lisa, then they pulled out paint and started messing around. We didn't do anything. Me, Lisa and Tammy sat on the swings.”
“I told you they're bad news. I told youâ”
Seth asked, “Ma'am, can I speak with you alone?”
“Go up to your room, Joel. I'll come talk to you in a minute.”
Joel made a dash for what he assumed was the kitchen.
“Ma'am, he's in love,” Seth said. “He did something stupid, but wasn't causing any real trouble.”
“We were so close, then he started hanging with these boys, and this girl and⦔ She looked distraught. “I don't know him anymore.”
“He's a teenager. I think that's par for the course. He needs to know that there are rules and boundaries, but that ultimately, you're on his side.”
“I want what's best for him. When he was little, I
dreamed he'd be a doctor and make the world better. Now, I want him to pass ninth grade and not be brought home by the cops again.” This womanâso worried about her son, tears in her eyesâcould have been his mother worrying about him. “I would do anything to give my son an easier life than I had. I wanted you to know that.” She turned away from him.
“Ms. Vesser? Ma'am, sometimes your dreams for your child aren't the same as their dreams. Sometimes, they have to follow their own path, even if it's not the direction you'd have chosen for them.”
She faced Seth. “I should let him be with this girl?”
“The girl in question is leaving. What I'm saying is you need to talk, and even more importantly, you need to listen and show him you understand. There's this computer program my sister uses with her friend who moved to Montana. It lets them talk over the internet. You could help Joel set it up, on the condition he doesn't sneak out again and concentrates on his schoolwork. He thinks this girl is it for himâ¦the one.” Memories pounded at Seth of a time when he felt that way. “Maybe she is.”
“I want to think so.”
“Do you mind if I check back with you in a week or so?” Seth found himself asking.
“Really?”
He reached into his shirt pocket. “Really. And here's my card. You call if you need me before then.”
“Thanks, Officer.”
“It's my job, ma'am.”
“I think you're wrong. Bringing him home might
have been your job, but the rest of it?” She shook her head. “I don't think that falls under a cop's duties. Thanks.”
Seth got into the cruiser, turned to JT and simply said, “Speak.”
“I screwed up again. Big shock.”
He waited without saying anything.
“Mom has a new guy at the house, so when Tammy called, I went. I thought I'd give them some privacy.”
“Does she know you left the house?”
JT didn't respond and he silently waited. He thought he was going to have to break the stalemate, when she finally said, “Ms. Watson called to say thanks for the mural. I'm glad she's had her kid. Now I can go back to regular detentions where they just ignore you as long as you're quiet.”
Seth felt a flash of insight into JT reverting to her old habits. “JT, Ms. Watson hasn't fogotten about you. I'm sureâ”
“Just take me home, Lieutenant, okay? Or write me up, or take me back to the station.”
“JTâ”
“If you're not going to throw me in jail again, then take me home and read my mom the riot act like you did the other kids' parents. Just don't lecture me to death. You've already tortured me enough tonight.”
“Tortured you?”
“You let Lisa and Joel say goodnight. Their gushing over each other had me on the verge of vomiting.”
Seth put a hand over his mouth to cover his inadvertent chuckle. “Well, maybe some torture will remind you to toe the line. There are rules, and they're there for
a reason. My job is to see to it you follow them. Not to be a hard-ass, but to keep you safe. Speaking of rules, did you ever hear the ones about not lying to cops, and not skipping school?”
“Huh?” JT said, playing innocent.
“The other day when you finished the mural?”
“I just wanted to get it done, okay? Ms. Watson's class was the only one where I didn't feel like a loser. Now she's gone, and the sub they hired⦔ She let the sentence hang.
“The sub isn't like Ms. Watson,” Seth filled in.
JT nodded.
“You know I have to turn you in for skipping school, right?”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“It will probably mean a whole new set of detentions.” JT didn't respond and Seth left her in silence while he drove her home.
As he walked her to the front door of her house, she said, “Don't tell Ms. Watson about tonight, okay? She's got enough to worry about with the new baby. She can just forget about me and get on with her life.”
Seth shook his head. I think you underestimate Ms. Watson. She won't forget about you.”
JT snorted and stood by silently as he told her mother she'd broken curfew.
“Get to your room,” her mother ordered.
JT shot him a look and then hurried up the stairs.
“Thanks for bringing her home, Officer. You don't know how hard it is to ride herd on a kid like JT. She's always being difficult.”
“She simply needs someone to take an interest,
ma'am.” It was as tactful as Seth could manage. What he wanted to tell the woman was to stop mooning over men and pay attention to her daughter.
The woman didn't respond, other than to say good-night, as she shut the door.
The rest of the night was as quiet as he'd originally hoped. It was eight in the morning when he walked into his apartment. As if on cue, the phone rang. “Hello?”
“Oh, Seth, you're there. I thought I'd get your answering machine,” his mother said. “I was going to leave you a message. Cessy's basketball team has a game next week in Erie. It's their Thanksgiving tournament. I know you said that you can't be with us on Thanksgiving because of work.”
He felt a sense of guilt. He could have been there.
His mother continued, “I thought you might want to come. I know Cessy would be happy.”
Maybe his guilt was what prompted him to say, “Yes, sure. I'll be there.”
“Really?” his mom said, then hurried and gave him the information. “How are you?” she asked.
“Fine. And you?”
“Fine.”
And that was that. He loved his parents beyond measure, but he had no answer to repair the rift with them. When Allie found out she was pregnant, she forced him to talk to his parents. And he had. They hadn't exactly discussed the past, but he'd been willing to begin again.
Then Allie and the babies had died and that beginning ended.
Every word of sympathy, every tear they'd shed at the funeral home seemed false.
They hadn't wanted him to marry Allie. They'd never approved. So, how could they mourn her loss?
He'd been so angry.
But today? He knew one thing for sure. He was homesick.
M
ONDAY AFTERNOON WAS BRIGHT
,
sunny and warm for Erie in November. Laura bundled six-day-old Jamie up and went to school.
She'd called the doctor's office to be sure it was okay to take him out, and the nurse on duty had promised that anything she felt up to doing was fine.
Well, Laura felt like getting out of the house. She was loving being home with Jamie, but she longed for some adult interaction, which is exactly what she got when her first stop was the teachers' lounge. Friends oohed and ahhed over the baby, and filled her in on school news.
Afterward, she met the principal, who consented to her continuing to work with JT at home. Her detention had been extended because she skipped school last week.
The end-of-the-day bell rang.
General detention was in the auditorium and she waved to Jodie, who was in charge. “Can I steal JT for a few minutes?”
“Sure. Need me to watch Jamie?”
Laura felt better for being out, but she wasn't ready to separate from her son, even for a few minutes.
“Thanks, but he's fine.” She spotted JT sitting in the back row. “JT?” she called.
JT hurried after her into the hall. She spoke rapidly. “Ms. Watson, I didn't think you'd be in.”
JT knelt down to look carefully at the baby. “He's awfully tiny, Ms. Watson. How come you brought him out to see me?”
“I was worried about you. And I had an idea. Mr. Asti agreed, and we talked to your mom who gave her permission. All that's left is to see if you agree.”
“That's a lot of agreeing.” JT eyed her suspiciously. “What's it about? My skipping school?”
“In a way. I suggested that you walk to my house after school each day. I clocked it on the way here, and it's almost a half a mile on the nose. I walked it until the weather got too bad and I was too round. Anyway, you walk over and serve your detention with me at my house. Your mom can pick you up on her way home. I'd offer to come into school, but Jamie's so little. I worried about bringing him out today. Anywayâ”
“Hang on, you still want me to do detentions with you?” Despite the heavy makeup and piercings, JT appeared little-girl surprised.
Laura nodded.
“I thought once you had the baby, you'd forget all about me.”
“That's not likely to happenâ¦ever. You're stuck with me caring, like it or not. I see so much potential in you. I don't want to see you throw it all away without a thought. If you could read betterâ”
For a moment, Laura thought she was really reaching the girl, but when she mentioned reading, JT's expression hardened. “For what? To prove to you I'm
not stupid? Listen, Ms. Watson, I don't have to prove anything to you or anyone else.”
“No, but maybe you need to prove something to yourself. Listen, I'm just an art teacher, butâ”
“Ms. Watson, I never thought of you as
just
an art teacher.”
“And I've never thought of you as
less
than remarkable. I don't think you read well, and the fact you've made it to high school shows how smart you are. Let me help you, JT.”
Laura wanted to explain to JT, to make her see in herself what she saw so clearly. “Maybe, it's because I am an art teacher.”
“Huh?”
“I'm trained to look beyond the surface. Paintings, drawings, sculpture, aren't simply subjects, there's always some emotion, some story behind them. I look for that, and try to see what's beneath it. I see the image you try to project.” She reached out and gently touched JT's eyebrow ring. “But beneath that hard image, I see a smart, talented girl who's capable of so much. Let me help you.”
JT didn't look happy. “I think you're nuts, but fine. I'll come serve my detention at your house.”
“Thanks.”
“Yeah, well, don't thank me yet. I mean every other teacher here in school has written me off. The fact that you haven't makes you stranger than all of them.”
“Hey, I had a baby. I deserve some crazy time. So, head back into detention here today, but my house tomorrow, right after school lets out, okay?”
“You're not going to give up, are you?”
“Not a chance.”
“Tomorrow then.”
Despite JT's unenthused expression, Laura thought she saw a flicker of something else in the girl's eyes. Something that looked like hope.
Â
T
UESDAY AND
W
EDNESDAY
went by fast. It was as if time had blurred. Jamie wanted to eat every three hours like clockwork. Laura listened to her lactation consultant and tried to sleep whenever he did. Except when JT came over.
Those first two days they read together.
JT wasn't illiterate, but her reading skills hadn't progressed beyond a grade-school level.
“â¦it's like a code,” Laura explained on Thursday. “You learn what letters say when they're together.”
“They didn't teach sounding it out. They taught us whole words. I can see those, but I don't know how to figure out new ones.”
“That's what phonics does. It breaks words into syllables.”
JT studied the page in front of her. “
G
â” she pronounced a hard G “ânet-ics.”
“That
G
sounds like a
J
.”
“See, it doesn't work.”
“Hard or soft. It's always one or the other, so, if it's not hard, then it's soft. Say the word with a soft gee.”
She said it with a soft
G.
“Ge-net-ics.” She paused. “Genetics.”
“That's right.”
“Okay, let's finish this science.”
It took an hour, but JT managed the next three pages, and then they completed the worksheet. “I did it.”
“You did.”
“It took a long time.”
“Yes, but it's not really how long it takes, it's getting it done that counts. Michelangelo took four years to paint the Sistine Chapel. It's a masterpiece.”
“My science isn't a masterpiece.”
“But you read the chapter and you did the work. Just think, you can go to school after the Thanksgiving break and hand in the homework.”
JT smiled. “I know tomorrow's out 'cause it's Thanksgiving, but can we meet on Friday?”
“You know you don't have to serve a detention on a vacation day, but I'd love if you came over. Maybe in the morning?”
“Yeah. That's good. I'll see you then. You go get Jamie, and I'll let myself out.”
“Night, JT. Make sure you do your math.”
“Math is easy, Ms. Watson. One plus one always equals two. It's not like English where letters change their sounds on a whim. Hard
G
's, soft
G
's. It's a mess.” JT laughed. “Happy Thanksgiving.”
Happy Thanksgiving. Laura knew it was coming, but had managed not to think about it. Now, she'd have the whole day tomorrow to not think about it.
She hurried down the hall to Jamie, who was stillâwell, not full-out crying. It was more of a hey-I'm-awake, where-are-you?
“Hey, Laura! JT let me in,” Seth called from the front door.
“Just a minute,” she called.
Seth. She hadn't seen him at all this week. They'd exchanged voice mail, but she figured he was easing away from her, and she didn't blame him. One minute, they'd been declaring they were allies over JT, the next he was in the birthing room with her. And then they'd offered each other those friendly kisses. Kisses she was not going to reflect onâ¦or repeat.
She'd go out, tell him she was fine, and then send him on his way.
She cradled Jamie as she went into the living rom and found Seth, in uniform, waiting for her. “On your way to work, or from?”
Â
S
ETH DRANK IN THE SIGHT
of Laura. She looked good.
They'd played phone-tag, but he'd purposely stayed away. He hadn't planned on seeing her today. It was better for both of them if they had some distance. She'd said that repeatedly, and he believed it. Hell, he needed to get back to the orderly life he'd built for himself. But here it was, Wednesday, and he'd found himself pulling into her driveway on the way to work.
Staying away hadn't kept her off his mind. If anything, she'd been on it more than ever. He thought that maybe if he saw her and reassured himself that she was fine, he'd be able to maintain that distance. Able to stop thinking about two insignificant pecks on the cheek.
“Seth, to work, or on the way home?” she repeated as she patted the baby's back with the quiet confidence of an old pro.
“To work. I wanted to stop and check on you both.” He held out his hands to Jamie. “May I?”
Standing next to Laura, holding the baby, Seth felt as if a rubber band that had been pulled too tight finally released. “Hey, big guy, how's your week going?”
“So, what brings you here?”
He looked up from Jamie and tried to remember his excuse for stopping in. He spotted a cornucopia on her table. “I wanted to see what you were doing tomorrow for Thanksgiving.”
“Nothing.” She hurriedly added, “You know with a brand-new baby, I don't want to go out anywhere.”
“I had the day off, but traded it with a friend who has small kids at home.”
Laura frowned. “That's nice, but what about your family?”
“I'm going to see them Friday. My sister has a tournament in town. Want to come along?”
Again, that's not what he'd intended to say. But he realized that having Laura along would give him a buffer. He missed his family, dammit, but when he saw them it only reminded him that things had changed and he didn't know how to change them back.
“You want me to come to your sister's tournament?”
“If not to the actual game, maybe after? We'll be going out to eat. I thought you might like to get out of the house,” he ended lamely.
“What about Jamie?”
“Maybe the chief and his wife could babysit? I know they'd love to.”
“Oh, you know?” Jamie gave a little whine, which gave Laura reason to take him back. Her tone was terse
as she asked, “You've been talking to him about me? About Jamie?”
“Nothing more than saying you're both fine.”
“And you're still trying to forge some kind of relationship between me and Jay's parents, and that's not going to happen.”
“They're the baby's grandparents,” Seth said softly.
“Right, but they're nothing to me. I won't keep them from seeing him, but I'm not ready to have them babysit.”
“So bring him along.”
She took a deep breath and stared at the baby. “I don't know.”
“My family would love it.” Seth realized that it wasn't just his familyâhe'd love it. He'd missed Laura and he hated the thought of her being alone on Thanksgiving.
“Can I think about it?”
“Sure. I'll check in with you tomorrow. Before I go, do you need anything?”
“No, I'm fine. I've got everything under control.” She said the words as if she were trying to convince herself as much as him. “JT just left. Of course, you know that since she let you in. She⦔ Laura jumped into a discussion about the reason they'd formed their alliance.
Discussing JT was easy, familiar ground. Twenty minutes later, Seth said, “I've got to go, or I'll be late.” He headed toward the front door.
Laura followed him, cradling Jamie. “Have a good night, Seth.”
Without thinking, he leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Thanks.”
She looked startled.
Hell, he'd kissed her again. Apologizing for the chaste kiss would only give it significance, so he simply said, “I'll check with you again about Friday,” and out into the cold he went, trying not to think about having kissed Laura again. He'd done it without thought and it felt natural.
This fact disturbed him more than the kiss itself.
He went on three domestic calls. The holidays certainly brought out the best in people. He should have been too busy to think about Laura, but thoughts of her kept intrudingâthe image of her holding Jamie, the look of surprise on her face when he'd planted that platonic kiss on her forehead, even the thought of her on her own with Jamie for Thanksgiving.
He couldn't seem to stop thinking about her and worrying about her. Which is why he was on her doorstep at noon the next day.
Â
S
ETH PACKED UP HIS CAR
and was on Laura's doorstep at noon. She looked tired andâ¦well, rumpled.
“Happy Thanksgiving!” he practically shouted.
“Quiet,” she whispered. “Jamie's asleep. I don't know if it was colic, or simply a bad night, but the good news is, I am reacquainted with what's available on late-night television, and I am thinking about ordering a new kitchen Wonder Gadget.”
Seth nodded at the box in his hands. “Speaking of kitchens, mind if I make myself at home in yours?” He didn't wait for her response, but simply went there.
This was crazy. He hadn't intended to come here today, yet here he wasâ¦again. He was using the holiday as an excuse, when deep down he knew he'd have shown up here regardless. Staying away had been hard. Too hard.
“What's in the box, Keller?”
“Well, I have to be at work in a few hours, but I decided that I couldn't really let the holiday go by without a traditional dinner.”
In the kitchen, he began emptying his box. There was a box of stuffing, a can of cranberry sauce, a frozen pumpkin pie, a box of frozen mashed potatoes, a container of whipped topping and a small, rectangular foil pan.
Laura pointed at the foil. “What's that?”
He cracked the foil top. “That is a turkey loaf.”
“Huh?”
“It said it was a hundred percent turkey, but it didn't say what part of the turkey. It does, however, make its own gravy. But just in case⦔ He reached into the box and presented a jar of turkey gravy to her. “Ta da.” He sounded like his brother, Zac, but channeling Zac was easier than being himself. Zac was easygoing and charmingâeverything Seth wasn't.