Home at Rose Cottage (13 page)

“Well, I do.”

“How do you know Melanie can do it?”

“She told me,” Jessie explained patiently. “In the car. Weren’t you listening?”

He’d heard something about his crooked ponytails and long hair, but he’d obviously missed the implications.

“And she said we could paint my fingernails,” Jessie added excitedly.

“You most certainly cannot!” Mike said, appalled. He hated seeing kids running around trying to look like grown-ups. Adulthood and responsibilities came soon enough. He wanted his daughter to be a child as long as possible.

Jessie’s eyes promptly filled with tears. “Why not?”

“You’re six years old!”

“It’s just for fun,” she wailed.

Mike stared at her helplessly. Braids? Painted fingernails? If he was this far out of his element when Jessie
was only six, how the devil was he going to cope with the teenage years?

He’d sworn that, for his own protection, he wasn’t going to go near Melanie again. But it was a measure of his devotion to his daughter that he was actually considering breaking that vow just so Jessie could have her hair fixed the way she wanted it and get her nails painted.

Ha! he thought sarcastically. He’d been looking for the perfect excuse for days now. Jessie had just handed it to him, all wrapped up in little girlie bows.

“I’ll talk to Melanie after I drop you off at school this morning,” he promised with a good show of reluctance. “If Melanie says it’s okay, we’ll stop by later. You two can play beauty shop to your heart’s content.”

Jessie beamed, her tears forgotten. “Thank you, Daddy.”

If only he could end all her tantrums so easily, Mike thought wistfully. If only the path to his own happiness were so obvious.

Instead lately he’d felt as if the ground were shifting beneath him, turning all of his determined resolutions about avoiding relationships into chaos. He’d actually begun wondering if maybe he should consider trying just a little harder to convince Melanie to stick around. Maybe her first response had been a knee-jerk reaction. Goodness knows, he’d had a few of those himself since he’d met her.

That was why he’d made it a point to avoid her in recent days. He’d been afraid he’d utter the words, beg her to stay and then decide ten minutes later that he wanted to take the plea back. Better to steer clear of her until he knew his own mind. Better to avoid a rejection that would remind him all too painfully of the way he’d felt when
Jessie’s mother had turned to drugs, rather than to him or their daughter.

In the meantime, though, dropping off Jessie shouldn’t be a problem. If Melanie agreed to the visit, he’d never have to set foot inside the house. And with Jessie underfoot, he wouldn’t act on any wild urges to drag Melanie into his arms and kiss her until she relented and agreed to stay in Virginia with him.

He could do this, he concluded. It was just a matter of concentration and keeping his hands to himself.

Mike’s plan pretty much went up in flames the instant he set eyes on Melanie right after he dropped Jessie at school. There were dark circles under her eyes, as if she’d gotten no more sleep lately than he had. Her lush mouth curved into a cautious smile that all but begged him to kiss her.

“I was thinking about calling you,” she said.

The words sounded forced. She’d uttered them only after they’d stood and stared at each other for so long, Mike had begun to feel awkward.

“Oh?” he said, not sure what to do with that bit of information.

“I’m sorry about the way things ended the other night.”

“Oh?” He felt he was beginning to sound like an idiot, but she seemed to be on a roll. He might as well let her take the lead here. Maybe it would save his pride.

“I shouldn’t have pushed you away,” she said, “not when what I really wanted was for you to stay and talk things out.”

He shook his head in confusion. “You didn’t push me away.”

Melanie laughed. “Not literally, no—but the outcome
was the same as if I had. You haven’t been near Rose Cottage since then.”

Pride be damned! “To be honest, I was thinking of calling you, maybe suggesting you put some nasturtiums in the garden. Did you know you can eat them?”

She grinned. “Actually I did. My sister Maggie is a magazine food editor. She passes along all sorts of little oddities like that. Maggie might like it if I planted nasturtiums.”

“I’ll see about getting some, then,” he said, the awkwardness suddenly back.

“Did you come by for some other reason, or was this just about the nasturtiums?”

He shook off the daze he’d been in since setting eyes on her. “It’s about Jessie, actually.”

“Is she okay?”

“I suppose that depends on how important hairstyles are to you girls.”

She regarded him blankly. “What?”

“She wants braids. She says you can do them.”

“Sure.”

“And painted fingernails,” he added.

“I can do those, too,” she said.

“Would this afternoon work for you? You know how kids are when they get an idea. They’ll nag you to death until you give ’em what they want. Jessie’s worse than most.”

“This afternoon would be fine.” She studied him curiously. “Do you intend to stick around for this makeover?”

“Lord, no,” he said, appalled. “Unless you need me to. Normally I wouldn’t leave Jessie, but she’s eager to come, so I don’t think it will upset her if I take off.”

Melanie laughed. “I think we can manage without having you underfoot. I have to admit, though, that I’m a little surprised. I thought you didn’t want me getting too involved in Jessie’s life, especially after what I said the other night.”

He studied her intently while debating how to reply. He opted for the truth. “It’s too late for that. She likes you. This was her idea.”

Surprisingly, delight lit her eyes. “I’m glad. I like her, too.”

“Be careful, okay? Kids get attached real easily.”

“Adults, too, sometimes,” she said in a tone that caught him off guard.

He searched her face but couldn’t read anything in her expression. “What are you saying?” he asked cautiously.

“I’m still working that out,” she told him.

A tiny spark of hope flared to life inside Mike, but he knew better than to fan it into a full-fledged blaze. “Let me know when you figure it out, darlin’.”

“Believe me, you’ll be the first to know.”

He met her gaze and saw the longing there. Eventually he nodded. “See you later, then.”

She smiled slowly. “See you later.”

“About three-thirty.”

“That’ll be good.”

He couldn’t seem to get his feet to move, couldn’t seem to tear his gaze away.

“Is there something else?” Melanie asked, amusement lurking in her eyes.

“Nothing.” He forced himself to turn away.

He was pitiful, he chided himself. Pathetic. He was acting like a lovesick kid who was scared to make a pass.
Then again, so was she. The realization made him grin. By the time he reached his truck, Mike was laughing. Maybe coming here hadn’t been such an idiotic move after all.

A
fter a trip to the drugstore for a selection of nail polish, Melanie sang along at top volume with an oldies radio station as she gathered the rest of the essentials for Jessie’s makeover. It was the first time in practically forever that she’d felt completely carefree. Maybe this beauty day for Jessie was just what Melanie herself had been needing, too—a chance to focus on someone else’s needs for a change. She remembered how much fun she and her sisters had had when they were Jessie’s age, playing dress-up and using their mom’s makeup. It had been their favorite rainy-day activity.

Melanie was still singing, making up words when she didn’t know them, when the phone rang. She cut the blasting sound on the radio as she picked up the receiver.

“Hello.”

“Is this Melanie D’Angelo?” an unfamiliar voice asked.

“Yes.”

“This is Adele Sinclair, the principal at the elementary school. I’m really sorry to bother you, but this is a bit of an emergency. It involves Jessica Mikelewski.”

Melanie’s heart began to pound. An emergency? In
volving Jessie? Why on earth would the school be calling her? “What’s wrong? Is Jessie okay? Have you contacted her father?”

“She’s had one of her incidents,” the principal said, her tone dire. She seemed to expect Melanie to understand the implications.

“Incidents?” Melanie asked. “What does that mean?”

“In a nutshell, something upset her and she threw a tantrum. We can’t get her to settle down.”

Even as Ms. Sinclair spoke, Melanie could hear a child’s pitiful wails in the background. Even though Mike had told her about Jessie’s behavior problems, even though she’d witnessed a couple of the little girl’s tantrums firsthand, it had been weeks since there had been any such incidents, at least none that Melanie was aware of. Maybe Mike hadn’t mentioned them because he’d come to take them in stride.

“I’ve tried to reach her father,” the principal continued, “but his cell phone is apparently out of range. Jessie’s been crying for you. Normally we wouldn’t contact someone we don’t know, especially since you’re not on the emergency list Mr. Mikelewski gave us, but Pam Clayborne, who is on the list, said she thought it would be okay for me to call you. I can’t release Jessie to you, but could you please come over here and see her? It might help to calm her. Otherwise, Mrs. Clayborne said she’d come.”

“I’ll be there in five minutes,” Melanie promised, even though there were a million and one questions on the tip of her tongue. She could ask them once she’d seen for herself how distraught Jessie was, and after she’d done what she could to soothe her.

The weather had turned cloudy and chilly, so she grabbed her sweater, along with her purse and car keys, as she ran out the door.

The school was less than a mile away. She knew the location thankfully, because she and her sisters had loved going to the playground there as children. Her grandmother had taken them often. The big, old-fashioned three-story brick building was as solid today as it had been when it was built at least a half century earlier. There were new swings and other colorful equipment for the kids now, but at the moment no one was using any of it.

As soon as Melanie reached the main entrance, she could hear the same choking sobs that had echoed on the phone. She followed the sound to the principal’s office.

The instant she opened the door, Jessie’s small body hurtled into her. Melanie knelt down and held the little girl, murmuring soothing words even as she gazed up at a distraught woman who was undoubtedly Ms. Sinclair. She gave Melanie a sympathetic look.

“I’ll give you some time alone with her,” the principal murmured, obviously relieved. She retreated toward her office. “Meantime, I’ll try again to reach Mr. Mikelewski.” Melanie nodded.

Jessie’s arms clung to her neck, and her body quivered with sobs.

“Shh,” Melanie soothed. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m here now. Can you tell me what happened?”

Jessie shook her head.

“Why don’t we sit on this bench over here?”

“No,” Jessie wailed. “I want to go home.”

“Baby, I can’t take you home.”

“Why not?” Jessie murmured into her neck.

“Because the school can’t let you leave with me. They don’t know me.”

Jessie stared at her with tear-filled eyes and damp,
blotchy cheeks. “But I do,” she protested. “I told ’em you were my friend.”

“I’m afraid that’s not good enough. We need to wait for your dad. In the meantime, if you’ll tell me what upset you, maybe I can help.” Without asking again, Melanie scooped Jessie up and settled on the bench with the child in her lap. Slowly Jessie’s tense little body began to relax against Melanie, but she still refused to say a word.

“Did something happen in class?” Melanie prodded, wanting to get to the bottom of whatever had set Jessie off.

“No,” the child whispered.

“On the playground?”

Jessie’s head bobbed, but she didn’t look at Melanie.

“Did you have a fight with one of your classmates?”

Again, a faint nod.

Melanie took a wild stab in the dark. “Kevin Reed?”

Jessie pulled back, her eyes widened in shock. “How come you knew that?”

“It doesn’t matter. Did he do something to you?”

Jessie sniffed. “He said I was a baby.”

“Why on earth would he say something like that?”

“’Cause my daddy brings me to school and waits for me after. I
like
it that Daddy comes with me. It doesn’t make me a baby, does it?”

“Oh, honey, there’s nothing wrong with that at all. I’m sure lots of moms and dads bring their kids to school. Kevin’s just being mean.” Melanie couldn’t help thinking that there was more to this than a bit of name-calling. “Did something else happen?”

“Uh-huh,” Jessie admitted.

“What?”

“Kevin’s dad doesn’t bring him to school. That’s why he was being mean to me,” Jessie said knowingly. “He
doesn’t even have a dad. I said that, and then he hit me, and he said I didn’t have a mom and that was worse.”

Oh, boy, Melanie thought.

Jessie gave her a pleading look. “Can you be my mom? Please?”

“Sweetie, I wish I could be. You’re a wonderful girl, and anyone would be lucky to be your mom….”

“Then how come my real mom left us?” Jessie asked plaintively.

“I don’t think it was something she wanted to do,” Melanie replied, feeling her way through the minefield. “I’m sure it made her very sad.”

“Then why didn’t she stay?”

“Because she couldn’t,” Melanie said, though she couldn’t imagine such a thing herself. She tried to explain anyway, hoping she could find words that would reassure Jessie and wouldn’t be too far from the truth or at least whatever version of the truth Mike had shared with Jessie. “Sometimes adults have to do things that are very painful, but they don’t see any other choice. That doesn’t mean your mom didn’t love you. I’ll bet your dad’s told you that.”

“I suppose,” Jessie conceded grudgingly.

“If he said it, you can believe it.”

“My real mom’s never even come to see me. I’d rather have you as my mom,” Jessie said fiercely.

The ache in Melanie’s heart nearly overwhelmed her. She was completely out of her depth. It didn’t help that she knew she, too, was going to abandon this precious little girl.

“It’s just not that simple,” she said eventually.

“How come?”

“Because it’s up to the grown-ups to decide if they want to get married.”

“Don’t you like my dad?”

“Your dad’s terrific,” Melanie said honestly.

“I know he likes you,” Jessie said with confidence. “I think you should decide to get married, so you can be my mom.”

Melanie was impressed with Jessie’s persistence, even as she tried to think of some way to deflect it. “I hear you want me to fix your hair and paint your fingernails.”

Jessie’s expression immediately brightened. “Did Daddy ask you if I could come over today?”

“He did.”

“Is it okay?”

Melanie nodded, though she wasn’t sure how Mike was going to feel about it once he learned of Jessie’s fight at school. There needed to be some consequence for her misbehavior, as understandable as it might be.

“Then let’s
go,
” Jessie said urgently. “I want to go now!”

“I’m not allowed to take you,” Melanie explained again, but her words fell on deaf ears. Jessie’s face clouded over and the tears began to fall again.

She was working up to another full-fledged tantrum when Ms. Sinclair emerged from her office. “I reached Mr. Mikelewski,” she said. “He’s on his way.”

Thank God, Melanie thought. She was doing the best she could, but it was obvious that it wasn’t enough. Jessie needed her father. The little girl was once again clinging to her and sobbing as if her heart would break. Melanie rubbed her back and murmured nonsense words until at last Jessie closed her eyes and fell asleep, obviously exhausted by her outburst.

Melanie continued to hold and rock her gently. Eventually she heard footsteps running through the school corridor and knew instinctively that it was Mike. He came
charging through the door and skidded to a stop, his expression frantic. When he spotted them, a sigh seemed to shudder through him.

“Is she okay?” he asked, hunkering down to brush a curl from Jessie’s tear-streaked face.

“She wore herself out crying,” Melanie said just as they were joined by the principal.

Mike stood and glowered at Ms. Sinclair. “What the hell happened?”

“I’m not entirely sure,” the principal admitted. “She and Kevin Reed got into some sort of argument that erupted into a shoving match. I don’t know any more than that.”

“Where was the teacher?”

“On the other side of the playground. She got to them in seconds. Neither of them was physically hurt, but Jessie was far too distraught to go back to class.”

Mike turned to Melanie. “Did she say anything to you about what happened?”

Melanie nodded. “I think we should talk about it somewhere else, though.”

Mike looked as if he wanted to argue or maybe punch his fist through a wall, but he fought for control. “Okay, then, let’s get out of here.”

“Wait just a minute,” Ms. Sinclair commanded. “As you know, this isn’t the first time Jessie has had one of these episodes, Mr. Mikelewski. It’s possible that she needs more attention than we can give her here.”

Mike looked shattered. “What are you saying?”

“That I can’t have her disrupting class again. If it continues to happen, other arrangements will have to be made.”

“You’re kicking her out of school?” he demanded, his
expression incredulous. “She’s six. She’s not some teenage delinquent.”

“A disruptive child is a problem no matter what the age,” Ms. Sinclair said. “I’m not asking you to remove Jessie just yet, but I am warning you that it’s a possibility.”

“But she’s been so much better,” he said. “I don’t understand this.”

“I think I do,” Melanie said, giving his hand a squeeze. “Let’s go.”

He nodded slowly, then reached for Jessie, cradling her against his chest with heartbreaking tenderness. When his tortured gaze finally lifted to meet Melanie’s, he said, “I’ll meet you at my place.”

Melanie nodded, her heart aching for him. “I’ll be right behind you.”

Mike kept glancing back at his sleeping child on the way home. Jessie looked so sweetly innocent now, but he knew all too well what she was like when she was out of control. He’d been deluding himself that the worst was behind them. How could he even consider a future with Melanie, when Jessie required every bit of love and attention he had to give? Even Melanie would have to see that after today. Hell, maybe that was even the real reason she’d been hesitating and she’d just been too kind to say so.

He carried Jessie inside, took her to her room and put her in bed. She barely whimpered as he removed her shoes and tucked a blanket around her. As worn-out as she was, she would sleep for at least another hour or two. That would give him and Melanie a chance to talk. There was a lot of ground to cover.

When he went back downstairs, he found Melanie in the kitchen brewing a pot of tea.

“I hope you don’t mind,” she said. “I thought we could both use it.”

“It’s fine,” he said, raking his hand through his hair. “Now what the hell happened back there, and how did you get involved?”

As Melanie described the incident on the playground, Mike fought off the desire to go and pummel little Kevin Reed himself. Obviously, though, the kid had just been lashing back. He couldn’t have known how devastating his words would be to Jessie. Nor, likely, had she grasped how hurtful she was being when she’d reminded Kevin he didn’t have a dad.

“Kids that age have no idea how powerful words can be. They’re unintentionally cruel to each other sometimes,” Melanie said, echoing his thoughts.

“It’s my fault,” Mike said.

“How on earth can you believe that? You weren’t even there!”

“Not today. I meant I should have done something to force Linda to face facts and get herself straightened out. Then Jessie would have her mom in her life. Dammit, I should have done something,” he repeated.

“Such as?” Melanie asked, her skepticism plain. “What could you possibly have done that you didn’t do?”

He sank onto a chair and regarded her with bewilderment. “I have no idea.”

“You couldn’t make her better if she didn’t want to get better,” Melanie reminded him.

How many times had he heard the same words from the counselor he’d seen at the time, from his attorney, even from Linda’s parents? He knew they were all right, but he couldn’t help thinking that there must have been something he could have done or said to get through to her.

“Maybe if I went to her now,” he said, beginning to formulate a plan even he could see was desperate and doomed to failure. “Maybe she’d be ready to listen.”

Melanie looked stunned. “Is that what you want, to get your wife back?”

“No, of course not,” he said without hesitation. “I swear to you, that’s the last thing I want. But I want Jessie to have her mom back. I want her to be the happy-go-lucky, carefree kid she deserves to be.”