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She shook her head. Jake wouldn’t have saved
her and left her mother there. It had to be some other explanation.
The nurse stood over her, putting something in her IV.

“No!” Julie pulled at her IV trying to stop
her. She didn’t want to fall back to sleep. She needed to think and
talk to Trucker.

“It’ll stop the pain,” the nurse said as she
stared at the heart monitor going berserk. Of course, her heart was
going wacky. After all, she had just realized her mom was dead, and
Trucker’s family could have played a part in it. She needed to talk
to Jake and figure it all out. The thought he could have been
involved was too much for her.

“Angel, calm down. What’s hurting you?”
Trucker asked, stroking her fingers sticking out of the cast on her
left arm.

She shook her head. “Mom?”

Dan sat down beside her and tenderly touched
her face. “Sweetie, she’s safe now. We’ll talk more later. You only
need to worry about getting better.”

Julie tried to ask more questions, but the
pain medication made her groggy. The room slowly went in and out of
focus, her eyelids grew heavy, and she drifted off to sleep.

******

The next two weeks were essentially the same.
She would come to in extreme pain. Only to find Jake hovering over
her, and the nurse shortly after giving her more drugs.
Occasionally, she would come too long enough to see Trucker, her
dad, and even Catherine. She learned she had a broken arm, a few
fractured ribs, a cracked skull, and massive head trauma. Jake was
using Trucker’s blood, enough to heal her completely, but not
enough to throw any red flags.

“Well look at you, finally I can see those
beautiful eyes.” Jake smiled down at Julie, her eyes finally fully
open.

“Where is he?” she whispered to Jake, knowing
she was the only one who could hear and see him.

“In the waiting room with your dad. They’ll
be up shortly. The doctors are talking about putting you in a
regular room today or tomorrow. Then you can look at his ugly mug
all you want.”

Julie couldn’t help but smile at Jake and his
carefree attitude. He always had a way of making her feel better.
“Jake, please tell me, you didn’t pick me over my momma. I know
Trucker is your main concern, but she was my mom.”

“Oh, beautiful, I wasn’t watching out for
Trucker. I was there for you. You are as important if not more so
to me.”

Jake placed a drop of Trucker’s blood on her
lips; the warmth from the blood was soothing and healing. Julie
felt the pain as it ascended from her body.

“There was nothing I could do for your mom.
It was her time, sweetheart. I wish I could have saved her, but she
was already dead.”

Grief struck Julie with such force, it
literally knocked the breath out of her. Jake crawled into bed and
held her. The tears poured. She thought losing Trucker was the only
thing that could hurt. Boy, was she ever wrong. That was an
indescribable pain.

Julie looked up and got a glimpse of Trucker.
Trucker’s eye’s burned through her. He had been standing in the
doorway, watching her.

“Angel,” he said as he walked over to her. He
lightly brushed his fingers down her face as he sat on the edge of
the bed. “Oh, baby, I don’t have a clue how to make this better. I
will do anything to make this better.”

Turning all her attention to Trucker, she
took his hand in hers. “It hurts.”

The pain hurt to such a depth, she was sure
it would kill her. Jake kissed her cheek,

but this time it did nothing to ease her
utter despair, and slipped away unnoticed by Trucker and Julie.

“Don’t leave me.” Julie said to Trucker.

“Oh, no, oh, no, no.” Trucker was at a
lost.

Julie cupped his face in her hands. She
angled her head and pressed her lips to his. Trucker’s teeth tugged
on her bottom lip.

“Kiss me. Please Trucker, kiss me like you
mean it.”

“I’ll hurt you.”

“I’m already hurt.”

He shoved his hands into her hair, and held
her in place. He didn’t just kiss her, he devoured her lips. He
poured every moment of the last three weeks into his kiss. Pulling
back from her, Trucker slipped his mask of indifference on. Nothing
flickered from his beautiful blue eyes. His body language broke her
heart. His normal proud and cocky tone was gone. Replaced with
grief and heartbreak.

“Truck, there was nothing you could’ve
done.”

“I know,” he answered with a slight nod of
his head. “Angel, I thought I lost you.”

“You’re not that lucky.”

He bit the tip of his tongue. Julie realized
he was seriously off. Her well-being was everything to him, except
a laughing matter. No matter the depth of pain she was
experiencing, she couldn’t bear to see him hurting. He wasn’t
supposed to hurt. That emotion was too much for him.

“I won’t live without you.”

“You won’t have too.” She was wrapped in a
gut-gnawing pain so agonizing it was crippling. “She’s gone.”

“Yeah, Angel.” He held her hand, soothing it
with his thumb. “I’ll take the emotional pain away when we get you
to another room,” he said somberly.

“No, I want to feel this pain. Truck, you
can’t always make it all right, because sometimes it’s not all
right.”

The pain she was feeling was excruciating. It
was unrelenting, but she needed to feel it without any interference
from magic. She started twisting the buttons on his shirt. He
gripped her hand, and sighed. He closed his eyes as she reached up
to trace his face.

“Does it bother you, for me to mess with your
shirt?” Julie asked.
Baby, please let me touch you. You need to
feel touch so you can feel love.

“No Angel, on the contrary, it’s the greatest
feeling in the world. It still stuns me, how much I like it.”

“Does it still . . . you know, does my touch
still hurt you?”

“Physically yes,” he hesitated. “Angel,
physically it’s horrible, but the thought of not touching you . .
.” He shook his head unable to finish his thought.

Dan came in waving some papers, breaking the
palpable emotions between them. “How about we get you in a regular
room.” Dan was so overwhelmed with his own grief, that theirs
didn’t even register.

*******

It was nice to be settled into a regular
hospital room, no more beeping alarms, no constant stares from the
nursing staff, and having her dad and Trucker close by. Catherine
had taken Dan to get something to eat, leaving Julie alone with
Trucker. He crawled into bed beside her. She turned her head
slightly, and his head was resting on her pillow with the most
exquisite smile on his all-too-perfect face. Maybe, she had died
and was now in heaven.

Trucker snapped the bracelet back on Julie’s
wrist and whispered, “That’s better.”

She wanted to rip it off and throw it out the
window, but needed the protection it offered more than ever.

“It’s not real. I still can’t believe she’s
gone.” The tears started slowly dripping down her face. She
couldn’t recall the details of the last few days. But knew enough
to believe everything was her fault.

“You’ll see her again one day. I saw the
angels around her body.”

“How about you? I want to always be with
you.”

He didn’t answer her, his already tight grip
got tighter. As hard as she tried, she could no longer fight the
effects of the latest pain shot.

******

Her eyes opened to the dim lights overhead,
and for a moment she had forgotten where she was until she felt
Trucker’s arms around her. The room was full of flowers, their
scent stimulating. Dan, sprawled out on the cot beside her bed, was
snoring.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurting?” Trucker
glided his lips over her forehead. He had awoken with her shivering
in his arm.

“No, just thinking about my mom. She didn’t
deserve that.”

He molded his body into hers. “I know, baby.
I wish I could’ve taken her place.”

Nothing was more painful to him then seeing
her hurt. How could one person come into his life and turn it
upside down? He thought he was doing fine, but now knew he was
already in hell. Without her, his whole existence would be
hell.

“Trucker, how are you holding up?”

He closed his eyes. His other side was
killing to come out. The misery raged through him. He wanted to
hurt someone for putting her in there. “Honestly, I’ve been
better.” He ruffled up her curls.

“We’re two pretty messed up people.” She
sighed, as she laid her head on his shoulder.

“You’re pretty wonderful,” he whispered and
kissed the tip of her nose, about the only spot on her face not
covered in cuts.

The squeaky door informed them that they had
a visitor. “Sorry to bother you. I need to get your vitals.” A
nurse entered, pushing a blood pressure machine with her.

Julie rolled on her back and Trucker crawled
out of bed, careful not to disrupt the many wires connected to her
body.

“How are you feeling?” the nurse asked.

“Physically good.”

Jake with the help of Trucker’s blood had
taken the physical pain away. Just not the pain where her heart was
slowly crumbling.

The nurse was beautiful and seemed too classy
to ever wipe a bedpan. Julie thought back to her mom getting a job
as a nurses’ aid. It lasted approximately two and a half hours. The
time it took to make one round of checking bedpans and changing
diapers.

“You remind me of my mom.” Julie started to
smile, but she was finally thrown up against a wall. She didn’t
have a mom. Every ache, every thought, every experience of the last
few weeks enveloped her. She started crying. Trucker held her,
trying to comfort her. Her dad woke up. Trucker franticly rubbed
her hair. Her tear filled face was soothed by his steaming hot
hands
.

“If you want me to stay human clear this room
now,” Trucker whispered in her ear.

Julie managed to glance up and saw one vein
slithering down his face. The look in his eyes sent subzero chills
down her spine. She worked to gather her thoughts.

“Dad, can you get me a
Mello Yello
please?” she begged as an irrational surge of panic hit.

“Are you sure?” He was confused by her sudden
odd request.

“Yes! Now! Please.” She started out by
screaming her response, but calmed herself toward the end. As he
got up to gather some change, she pulled at him. “I’m sorry,
Daddy.”

Dan bent down and kissed her on the forehead,
and she felt warm tears falling down her cheeks. “Please be
careful, I can’t lose you too.” She saw the tears in his eyes as he
walked out of the room.

“Get her a pain shot now!” Trucker barked to
the nurse. She dropped her clipboard and ran out of the room.

Trucker slammed a chair in front of the door.
Scraping his fingers through his hair, he ordered Julie to lay
still. She blinked and he was in bed beside her. His cold black
eyes staring back at her. Her Trucker was gone leaving the monster
from his other side.

“Trust me, I’m going to make it better,” he
said through his teeth in a harsh tone. He curved his hand around
her head trying to be gentle.

“No, Truck, I’m already hurting enough,”
Julie said as the tears soaked her pillow.

“You won’t be for long.”

All at once a bright light filled the room.
She cut her eyes to see it was coming from Trucker’s hands. She
started to jump, but he clutched her shoulder with his free hand
and held her in place. The warmth shot through her. Her head felt
like it was going to explode. She suddenly experienced every
intense emotion existing; everything she had ever felt was
magnetized. The pain and misery slipped away to numbness. The light
slowly got dimmer until it was gone.

“You can cope now, my love,” he whispered and
started slowly stroking her cheek.

“How?” she asked in a haze.

“I can take emotions away,” he answered.

What he said didn’t sink in at first. But
when it finally did, she stared at him blankly. Her heartrate
accelerated. “Why?” she asked, and winced as a sharp pain sliced
through her head.

“You need emotions to feel, to be human, to
be good. I can give them back later, Angel, so you can deal with
it. I needed to ease both of our pain.” He softly grazed her
swollen lips with a soft kiss, her Trucker was slowly returning to
her.

“Thanks,” before she could finish, he put his
finger over her mouth.

“For my sanity, don’t.” He blinked and his
clear blue eyes returned.

She heard the nurse pounding at the door.
Trucker got up, turned his charm on, and removed the chair so she
could open it.

“Sorry, I was so rude. I can’t stand to see
her hurt.” His speech was like pure honey dripping off his lip.

The nurse felt at ease instantly. “That’s
okay, I can tell she’s special,” she said, kindly.

“Very,” Trucker replied. He was trying to
calm down, to push his demon back down in his pit.

“It’s time for you to take some more pain
meds,” the nurse said, and started tapping down the IV line.

“Thank you,” Julie told the nurse as she put
the medicine in her IV.

Julie normally hated the way it made her
feel, but she welcomed the sleep and the peace it brought. Her dad
charged the room carrying six
Mello Yellos
.

“Here, baby.” He opened a can and handed it
to her.

She patted the bed beside her for him to have
a seat. Trucker slumped onto the sofa on the opposite side of the
room and watched his angel fall asleep in the arms of her
daddy.

******

The next few days were unnerving, she was
void of anything. No feelings, no filters, just the knowledge of
how she was supposed to act. She was a shell of herself. It was
freeing. Trucker stayed close. He had yet left the hospital. Quite
frankly, Julie was ready to be rid of him.