Holding Onto You (Never Letting Go)
Read Holding Onto You (Never Letting Go) Online
Authors: S. Moose
Holding Onto
You
By
S.Moose
Holding Onto You
Copyright © 2013 by S. Moose
Editing by Taylor Kent
Illustrated by Stephen Bligh
Cover image used under license from http://www.shutterstock.com
All rights reserved. No part of this publication, may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, included photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior writer permission of the publisher.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used factitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Table of Contents
This is for everyone who feels alone.
This is for everyone who feels as though love doesn’t exist.
This is for you.
True love conquers all.
Always believe.
Holding Onto You
“Holding Onto You will entice you to learn more about Sophia and Adam in Reaching Out For You. The building of a foundation is what a great relationship needs. Holding Onto You lays that foundation. S. Moose lays a great foundation for Adam and Sophia in Holding Onto You.”
-Stephanie’s Book Reports
"A nice companion to Reaching
Out For You, S.Moose's novella, Holding Onto You gives you an inside look at Adam's feelings for Sophia where you were not allowed into that side of the story before. I loved it, as any chance we get to see the male's POV in a book is great, and you can feel Adam's love for Sophia in every page of this short story. He really can't live without her."
-Kellie, My Fictional Boyfriend & Book Whore Page
“
This is true love, "I would walk through the oceans and the depths of hell just to see that smile on her face." Sweet story of a boy after the love of his life. This book was so sweet, can't wait for the next!”
-
Jodi, Butterflies, Books & Dreams
“True love knows no time or distance. Holding onto you is a sweet romance about finding your first love and never letting go.”
-
Glenna Maynard, author of
The Masquerade Series
"I love how I got to read what Adam thinks and feel his emotions on dealing the issues and bringing back Sophia into his life."
-Myra, Ms.ME28
“Holding
Onto You is a sweetly addicting read! I absolutely loved these characters and didn’t want it to end.”
-
Mary, Mary Elizabeth’s Crazy Book Obsession
“A touching love story that begins in childhood and blossoms into adulthood told from Adam’s point of view.”
-
Jennifer, Read and Share Book Reviews
“Refreshing, enlightening, revealing.
We learn more about Adam from his POV and how much his heart belongs to Sophia.”
-
Danielle, Just Booked
“Amazing!
This book shows so much growth from the first one, and I was happy to see things from Adam’s POV.”
-
Dawn Martens author of Derek, co-author of the Resisting Love Series and Love Song Series
“Holding
Onto You is a short, sweet story that will toy with your emotions! It’s the perfect edition to the Never Letting Go series and I thoroughly enjoyed it! I can’t wait to read more!”
-Kendall, Book Crazy
“
Heartfelt and emotional. Holding Onto Us shows that love transcends time and distance.”
-Liz, Romance Addiction
“It's a beautiful POV of Adam, a story that pulls at your heart. The emotions described in the book is emotional with determination, it's left me wanting more!
Looking forward to reading more books by S.Moose. Truly a talented writer with a bright future.”
-
Rose, Forever Me Romance
I twirled my phone in my hands
as I looked up at my ceiling, taking a deep breath as I wondered about her. What seemed to be a peaceful Sunday night was actually anything but peaceful. I lived in agony and despair for the past few months as my mind thought about my pretty girl. I hated that she was hurting and there wasn’t much I could do. The last time I saw her was back in March, she cried in my arms and I kept telling her everything would be okay, but she shook her head and told me she was slowly losing everything. I never asked her what she meant. I spent the night with her and she fell asleep in my arms, exhausted from crying over the lost of her mom. It was hard on all of us when she died but Sophia took it the hardest. They were best friends and when she died, it seemed as though a part of Sophia died too.
I brought her
favorite flowers, roses and lilies, every day and read her favorite stories. Sophia laid in my arms, holding me tightly and kept repeating she never wanted to lose me. I told her that she wouldn’t and I’d always be there for her. I was patient and spent all my time with her. I was cutting classes and slacking with my homework. She was everything to me and I would’ve done anything to see her smile again. I joked around with her and did everything I could to get her to smile or laugh but her expression was stone cold.
My parents were over a lot and helped planned the funeral. While they were downstairs, I was with Sophia in her room.
When I wasn’t reading to her, we watched movies and I held her tight. Sometimes when she’d fall asleep, I’d get ready to leave but she searched for me and opened her eyes. When she saw me getting ready to leave, she burst into tears and called out for me. I couldn’t leave her and promised her that I’d be here when she woke up.
The day of her
funeral, I sat next to Sophia and had my arm around her. She couldn’t do anything but cry. Doctor Burns and Sarah were visibly upset and my parents spoke on behalf of the family. Afterwards, I went home and told Sophia I was phone call away. I kissed her forehead and she watched me with sad eyes. I felt bad leaving but my parents were upset that I wasn’t focused with school or basketball and my grades were slipping. I was only seventeen and wasn’t sure how to deal with emotions. I had to focus on college and securing my scholarship. I stopped going over but I texted her every day and every night. I told her if she needed me to let me know and I’d be over in a second but she never responded so I thought she was okay.
I never saw her in school anymore and when I asked her where she was, there was no reply.
There were rumors going around school that she was coming to school drunk and the principal suggested she finished senior year at home. I talked to her older sister Sarah and she told me to be patient and Sophia was okay.
The days and night grew longer. School was pretty much over and we were preparing for graduation.
Senior ball was last week and when I asked Sophia if she wanted to go, there was still no response. Mother told me to give her space and she’d come around again. I went with the basketball team; one last event before separating into our futures. It was fun but all I thought about was Sophia and how she would’ve had fun.
I missed my best friend and wanted to know how she was doing.
I sat up on my bed and sent her a text message.
Me: Hey pretty girl. How you holding up? Miss you.
Damn, I missed her. I thought about her all the time. She was the first thing I thought of when I woke up and the last thing on my mind before I went to bed. My brother, Connor, wanted me to tell her how I felt and I was going to…but then her mom died. I couldn’t just go up to her and say, “Oh, hey, sorry about your mom but I love you and want you to be my girlfriend.” Real romantic. I looked at my phone and she still hadn’t responded.
I got up from my bed and headed downstairs to the kitchen.
The house was quiet and no one was home. My parents were at a charity function for work and Connor was most likely out with the basketball team. He wanted me to go out but I wasn’t feeling it tonight. When I opened the fridge, there was a box of garlic pizza waiting to be eaten. I took it out and sat down at the kitchen table. Cold pizza was the best thing on earth. Right as I was going to devour my food, I heard my name.
“
ADAM FRANKLIN SIMPSON!”
Shit
, Sophia?
I dropped my pizza and walked outside.
I smiled as I walked towards her. She looked beautiful as usual. Her long blonde hair was in soft curls and her blazing eyes made me weak. Tonight was the night. I was going to take her in my arms, tell her how much I missed her and that I wanted to be her boyfriend and best friend. “Pretty girl? I texted you.” Before I could say more, she came at me and started punching my chest.
She screamed and cried with each punch to my chest.
“Why? Why? Where were you? I need you Adam!”
I was shocked and didn’t know what to do or say
. I thought that leaving her alone to be with her family would be the best thing. I hated seeing my pretty girl fall apart. We’ve been friends since we were babies. It was always us against the world and every memory I had was with her. How could she have thought I was ignoring her? I hated that she was sad and broken. “Sophia, stop! I thought I was doing the right thing. You knew I was only a phone call away. Why didn’t you call me?” I stayed calm and stroked her arms like I used to do when she was sad. It usually calmed her down but this time there was a distance between her and I even though we were inches apart from one another.
She came close
r to my face and let out a sigh. I smelled alcohol on her breath. Fuck, she was drunk. “You’re the worst person ever! Why didn’t you stay with me after the funeral? You’re supposed to be my best friend!”
I saw her hand raise up and the emptiness in her eyes. This wasn’t Sophia anymore; this was
someone who was full of malice and hate.
She slapped me
across the face.
Whack!
What the hell was her deal? I looked at her with my mouth wide open. I was pissed and was about to walk away, but when I saw how sad she was I couldn’t move. Sophia’s hold on me was undeniable. I would have walked through the oceans and the depths of hell just to see that smile on her face. My hands were searching for her, to find her again. I felt her body twitching and it grew cold with each passing second. Everything was spiraling out of control and I felt my world crashing down.
I moved closer to her and tried to comfort her and let her know she wasn’t alone. I just wanted to hold her in my arms and take the pain away. “Soph, I thought you wanted to be alone and be with your dad and Sarah. I’m sorry, but you need to calm down.” I tried touching her face but she slapped my hand away. “You’re my best friend. I don’t know what else you want from me?”
She pushed me
. “You’re such an asshole, Adam!” She punched me in the face and cried out loud how much she hated me. I touched my cheek and felt the throbbing. What the hell was her problem?
I threw my arms in the air and couldn’t contain my anger.
“How am I being an asshole? This is too much to handle, Soph. You’re all over the place. One minute you’re happy and then you’re mad! What’s your problem? I didn’t do anything wrong to you! I gave you space and you should know that I would be there if you needed me.” I paused and watched as she crumbled in front of me. She stood there staring as I yelled at her. I never yelled at her but tonight she made me angry. “Stop being such a crazy bitch!” I stared back at her and saw the tears in her eyes.
Damn. I knew I was
going too far but she needed to calm down. This wasn’t my pretty girl and I was pissed. There was rage and uncontrolled emotions surging through my body. How was she blaming me for this shit?
“Sophia, stop pushing me.” I grabbed her hands and placed them on my chest. “
We’re best friends, remember? I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you like I should have been, but I’m here now.” I held her hands tightly and refused to let her go. She kept the connection and didn’t say anything. I leaned my head to hers but she started shaking her head and yanked her hands from me.
She pushed away from me and pointed a finger in my
face. “No! Just stay away from me. You mean
nothing
to me! I
hate
you so much Adam!” She stayed close to my face. I looked down and saw her clenched fists. “Everyone is shunning me and no one wants to deal with me. Do you know that my fucking dad put me in therapy? No, you didn’t because I couldn’t call you and tell you. What happened, Adam? All because I’m damaged and a hot mess you don’t want to deal with me, is that it?” Her eyes were on fire and her voice was demonic. I was speechless and wasn’t sure where all of the nonsense was coming from.
“Sophia!”
I tried to bring her in for a hug but she pushed my arms away.
“No
! You do
not
have the right to touch me! I don’t have anyone. My mom is gone and you left me Adam!” I didn’t see her fist until it was too late. She punched me hard on my cheek. I stumbled back and fell on my ass. She was crying so hard. I saw Connor running out of the house, grabbing Sophia.
He picked up Sophia and walked her away from me. Sophia’s body was swaying all over as she tried to get out of his hold.
“Connor what the fuck?”
Connor put her down and placed his hands on her shoulders.
He looked at her for a few moments before speaking. “Sophia, go home. You’re drunk and we didn’t do anything wrong.” Connor brought her into his arms and held her tight. “We’re supposed to all be friends, so why are you doing this?” His voice was soft and fragile. I knew he was hurting just as I was.
I got up from the ground and
looked at her again. She was broken. My pretty girl wasn’t there anymore. It was like she was possessed by darkness. Nothing seemed right. How could I let go of seventeen years of friendship? She should’ve known that I never wanted to leave her side. I wanted to be there for her. She got out of Connor’s arms, looked at me and walked away. I couldn’t move from where I was standing. Seconds passed and I was about to run after her, but Connor held me back.
“Dude
, let it go. She’s so fucked up right now.” He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me back in the kitchen. We sat down at the table and I slumped in my chair. How could I just let her walk away? “Sarah told me that she’s been drinking a lot. Her dad found her in the bathroom passed out last week.”
“Connor
, she fucking needs me!” I got up from the chair and started pacing around in the kitchen. My head was spinning and I felt sick.
“Dude
, stop. We’re leaving for Boston next month. Come on. You know I love Sophia just like you but what she did tonight was fucked up and you know it.” Connor took a slice of pizza and went to the microwave to warm it up. “Maybe one day we will all be friends again, but Adam come on. She went crazy on you.” He went to the freezer and threw me a bag of frozen peas.
“I should’ve been there. She was a mess at the funeral
and she wasn’t going to school. I knew something was wrong. I should’ve been there.” I looked down at my phone, wanting to text her, but something held me back. Sophia had too many issues and I couldn’t deal with it. All of the drama and childish games were stupid. Connor was right. I didn’t do anything wrong. She went crazy on me and for what reason? I tried to be there for her but there was only so much I could do. I grabbed a bottle of vodka from the liqueur cabinet and twisted the bottle cap off. I brought the bottle to my lips and started chugging. The burning liquid went down my throat and into my stomach. I placed the bottle down on the counter and put my head down. I took my phone out from my back pocket again and brought up Sophia’s number. I looked at the keyboard on my phone, but before I could figure out what I wanted to say, I threw my phone across the kitchen. It hit the wall and smashed into two pieces.
I grabbed the bottle of vodka again and started chugging even more. I needed to get away. Away from the pain of not seeing Sophia and not telling her how I truly felt about her. Connor took the bottle from my hand and threw it in the garbage. He put his hands on my shoulders and looked at me.
“Stop!” He guided me outside on our deck and the cool air hit my face. I felt lightheaded and alone.
“Fuck!”
I threw the chair across the yard and let out a frustrated groan. This was messed up and I had to be living in a nightmare. This wasn’t real. I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth.
“Hey,” Connor walked towards me. “I know it sucks, alright? I know that you love her and you want to tell her but you can’t do this to yourself. You can’t drink yourself stupid because it’s not going to make you feel better.”
I turned away from Connor and sat down on the lounge chair. I leaned my head back and thought about Sophia and watching her walk away from me. I cleared my throat and felt the pain surging through my body. What was going to happen? Was it the end of our friendship? I looked up at the night sky and imagined myself grabbing Sophia and bringing her into my arms. In my mind, everything was perfect again. She was showing her beautiful and bright smile.
Connor kept talking but I wasn’t listening. I saw his mouth moving but couldn’t hear the words. I was trying my damnedest not
to lose it again. She was my only one and I wanted to be with her. How was I ever going to get her back?