Holding On (52 page)

“
Honey, please. Let’s go.
I want out of here. I want to go home, please.”

“
You’re not going home,
Mace. I’m sorry. Hem said if you looked like you needed medical
attention and honey you do, then I’m to take you to the hospital.”
Still Honor in charge. Shame has yet to say a word.

“
I want to go home. Honor,
I’m going home. You’re taking me. I do not want to go to hospital.
I’m fine. Now, Take.Me.Home.”

Now Shame is shaking in even more
anger. “Mace, get your ass in the truck. You will be checked out
tonight. I will have Sade bring you clothes there and you can rest.
I won’t leave you but woman, you’re going to be looked at. You’re
face looks like it could use some stitches. Let’s fuckin’
go.”

I don’t have any strength left so no
use in arguing with Shame. He needs to have control over this
situation. His reaction to me when he saw me for the first time a
few minutes ago had me realize he hasn’t been in control at all
since I was taken. He needs this.

“
Okay. Let’s
go.”

On the way to the hospital, Shame has
me on his lap in the back seat. He has his hands wrapped around the
shirt at the bottom holding my body parts in and protected from
anyone’s view. He isn’t talking but his other hand is gently
rubbing my back as a sign of support. I’ve never seen Shame so out
of it. He is radiating anger, fear, but I still feel his
love.

*****

Once at the hospital I am able to lay
down. Hem arrived just before I was taken to a room and has created
a scene outside my door until the staff figures out that he isn’t
leaving and he tells them he is my family. The doctors have already
checked me out and Shame as promised hasn’t left my side once. When
the doctors had asked if I was raped I was forced to explain what
happened. I gave them all a play by play of the Greyson portion of
the night. The hospital staff didn’t need information about Warren
or anything that happened after Greyson so I kept quiet about it.
The police took notes but you could tell that since they knew my
brother and the Club were involved they did a half ass job with
questions. This was Club business and law enforcement was well
aware of how that worked. They put on a show of concern but that
was about it. Officer Riley told Hem that if he needed assistance,
he knew his number. Hem nodded with understanding although through
his anger.

Many tests were taken on me to be sure
nothing was broken and that while been beating my internal organs
were okay, things like that. I knew I was fine, I feel okay other
than being sore from the beating. My head is pounding and my ribs
are throbbing in pain.

Now the tests results are back, the
doctors came in and woke me. I had fallen asleep from exhaustion
finally since I felt safe with Hem and Shame in the room. It was
short lived though, the doctors are about to deliver some life
altering news.

“
How you feeling, Ms.
Cash?” I hate them using my formal name, especially knowing I
wasn’t Warren’s daughter. Hem and Shame have yet to know this so I
don’t want to correct him. I wouldn’t even know what to call myself
now. I tuck that away though, focusing on the handsome young doctor
at the foot of my bed. No room for him on either side of me, as I
was surrounded by both Hem and Shame. Looking at the doctors face
though, I can tell he’s more comfortable at the end of the bed,
closer to the door.

“
I’m okay.”

“
The results have all come
in from the lab. No broken bones, which is a relief since we feared
maybe you had a broken cheekbone. The stitches will leave a small
scar but that will fade in time.” He has something else he’s not
telling me I can tell. I try to sit up but fail.

Before the doctor sends me another
silent message to excuse the boys, I step in. “Guys will you go get
me some coffee. I need something to feel normal. I’m tired and I
want to visit with my men after the doctor leaves, can you do this
for me?”

“
Nope.” Hem states
plainly.

Right behind that I hear. “Not leaving
ya, Sweetheart.” Dammit.

“
Mace, I have more results
however it is your call if you want your family members here to
hear them. They may be alarming and you may want to hear this
without any members present.”

“
Nope, not leaving even if
she tells me too so you may as well say it. What the fuck is wrong
with my sister?”

Shame just glares down at the doctor,
willing him to continue.

“
Ms. Cash, okay?” The
doctor looks concerned and a little pale as he asks for my approval
to finish the news. My eyes are watered, this is bad. I nod at him
just wanting him to get it over with. “Well alright. We had to run
some tests on your kidneys. Although you may not have been struck
there directly you were under a lot of stress and it is routine
during act of violence and how you were captured to run tests
including urine and blood.” He pauses looking at Shame and Hem
again. He moves on one foot to another in a nervous
gesture.

“
During the routine tests
it is not uncommon to look for pregnancy.” He sees my eyes widen in
surprise so he doesn’t make me wait. “I will get to the point.
Mace, you’re pregnant. There’s no mistake in that.”

“
WHAT?” Shame
shouts.

Hem smiles. He fuckin’ smiles at me,
leans his big ole head down and kisses my temple. Oh God. I feel
faint. Thank hell I’m already lying down.

“
Ms. Cash? Were you
already aware of this?” Still no one says a word, letting this news
process. “We can’t know how far along you are until we examine you
more closely but by the look on your face, you seem to be
completely unaware.”

“
MACE! DID YOU KNOW?”
Shame is upset. I’m in shock and Hem is still fuckin’
smiling!

Screw this! I need to let go of
something at someone. I just don’t know what. “HEM! Stop it. Stop
smiling at me. Shame, NO I DID NOT KNOW! How am I pregnant? I’m on
the shot? I cannot be pregnant!”

“
Ms. Cash, you haven’t had
your shot in four months. You were supposed to come in every 90
days for an additional dose. You never showed for your last
appointment.”

“
FUCK!” Shame is not
taking this well.

“
Well sir, I’m going to
need your help then.” I’m still wrapping my head around this but
I’m asking this doctor to give me the impossible.

“
Do not fuckin’ even think
about it, Mace.” Shame is growling next to me and he’s dropped my
hand, leaving me cold.

“
Shush Shame, this is
about me.”

“
Fuck that woman, this is
about ME TOO! You can’t just… well no… you will NOT…”

It dawns on me right then, Shame
thinks I’m about to ask for an abortion. Oh my God, no! I look in
his silver blue eyes and pause. I want to remember this moment.
He’s freaked out sure, but he would never want to give up a child.
This makes me feel more secure so I’m going to get to ask my
favor.

Ignoring Shame’s fury that is directed
solely at me along with my ignorant brothers stupid smile that
continues to grow as he grasps this situation I continue talking,
“Doctor, if I’m really pregnant and if you know this for certain.
I’m going to ask your help. I need it to be a boy. If I don’t have
all boys, my best friend and love of my life right here will drown
himself. He’s serious. He can’t handle me on a daily basis, let
alone a little miniature me.”

Hem busts up laughing and I take my
eyes away from a smirking doctor to look at Shame. His eyes are
filling fast and it has finally dawned on him that he’s going to be
a father, boys or not.

Shame stands and grabs my face and
locks his lips to mine. He’s kissing me hard, closed mouth but I
get the message. I think my boy is happy of this news.

*****

I’ve been held captive by this
hospital now for over 24 hours and my patience has already worn
thin. Doctors have told family and friends that I’m to remain calm
while they monitor the baby and me. It has been determined by my
OBGYN that I’m just about 4 weeks along and the first trimester can
be dangerous when the mother endures any kind of trauma. So, here I
sit. I’m pissed off that I still haven’t gotten to tell Hem about
Warren’s warning. He’s tense and doesn’t even know my story yet.
I’m waiting for Shame to get here so I can check out and go home.
Just as I’m about to cuss out loud, which I don’t like doing but
when I’m pissed I develop the words in my mind so quickly they all
come out when Shame comes strutting in.

“
Hi baby. You’re about
ready to break free of this joint?”

“
Shut up. You know I am.”
I know he doesn’t deserve my rudeness but he was the first one in
the room and I’m tired of being here. Hem has made Sadey keep a
distance from the hospital so she doesn’t catch anything that is
lingering around here. Normally I would support that. Normally, I
wouldn’t care, but dammit NORMALLY I’M NOT HERE!

Shame has something behind his back,
and when he pulls it to the front he’s smiling. He was late getting
back here to me for a reason. “Picked them myself Sweetheart. Wild
flowers from the lake. Hope you like them. Wanted to give you
something familiar before you tell Hem and I what happened to
you.”

I’m appreciative of the flowers but
knowing I have to tell them bit by bit about Dad and his threats
against Hem I feel taken back. I’m not mad anymore, I’m nervous and
sad. Everything that Hem thought was good in life is being
threatened and I have to be the one to tell him. Not to mention
that his hero Doc, is my dad.

“
Thank you. Shame, where’s
Hem? Thought he was coming with you?”

“
He’s coming. He’s down
the hall now. Can I get you anything? Nurse is working on discharge
paperwork now. Since you’re having to relive some of your nightmare
I want to do it here, in case the stress is too much. She will be
in here to let us go in about 30 minutes. You be okay till
then?”

Before I answer I see Hem coming
through the door with Sadey in hand. Literally. Good lord the woman
is far enough along that she’s now showing and yet Hem can’t take
his hand off her ass. She and I have talked nonstop on the phone
back and forth since this happened but she hasn’t been to see me,
per my dismay but at Hem’s request. Her seeing me like this just
makes it real. Hem wants her here with me though while I go through
this with them, for support.

“
Hey there lil Sis! Ready
to break out?”

“
Shut up, Hem.”

He laughs but then after a few moments
later he gets serious. He wants to know step by step what happened.
He, Sadey, and Shame all take a seat and before I begin there’s
another knock at the door. Seriously? I just want this over
with.

“
Can I come in?” Oh my God
it’s Hood! Shame and Hem jump up at the same time, Shame keeps hold
of my hand in his and I feel it getting warm. Hem needs to keep his
shit together, his face is hard and threatening.

“
What the fuck are you
doin’ here?” Hem didn’t get a chance to react because Shame
did.

“
Look I won’t stay. I just
wanted to come here and see she was okay for myself. I’m sorry,
Mace. You don’t know me, probably hate me but you need to know that
I did what I could to prevent this.” He looks to Shame and Shame’s
face thaws, he realizes that Hood really did give them warnings of
this.

“
Thank you, I’m fine
now.”

“
Anything else I can do?”
His direction is at Shame and Hem but I cut in.

“
I’m about to tell them
everything that happened when I was with Greyson and Warren. You
could hear me out if they won’t mind, it would be good cause maybe
you could help.”

“
Fine, only if you’re
comfortable Sis. If not, he goes. Hear me?”

I tell them everything. Every detail I
can remember. During this I notice that Hem looks somewhat
surprised but not entirely. Shame is manic and Hood is resigned.
Apparently Hood really had no idea that Warren wasn’t my father and
his plot included killing Hem. He knew all about Greyson being a
maniac though. No one in the room flinched at any of those details.
The response I got from Hem during this is what alarmed me the
most. When he found out that Grey had beat me, assaulted me, and
threatening me he came unglued.
He was there when I told the police just a fraction of information
to just get them out of here, so apparently he thought that was my
whole Greyson ordeal. I should have told them sooner about what
Greyson had done.

Hem started throwing anything he could
get his hands on. Not even Sadey could calm him. He was pacing back
and forth with such anger, it froze the others in the room. Even
Shame was at a loss to calm Hem. When I told them about what Warren
had said about sending Greyson to the wolves, Hem’s face lightened
in an eerie way. When I was done Hem and Shame excused themselves
with Hood citing they were going to walk Hood to his bike outside
in an order of protection. Sadey and I sat and talked about how it
has affected me emotionally. God, it was nice to talk about that. I
couldn’t talk to the boys about it but Sadey got me. She knew it
was inside that everything was really hurting. She suggested I
talked to Cherry but I have felt guilty for escaping the hands of
Greyson when she didn’t. I saw what he did to her and compare to
that, I got nothing but a few nicks and verbal assaults that just
hurt my feelings. I didn’t get the continuous rape and beating she
got from him. It will be awhile before I feel comfortable talking
to her.