Hold Me (12 page)

“I’m not sure betting on who gets who pregnant is a good idea.”

“They’re brothers,” he pointed out. “They can’t help being competitive. I’m glad things are better with Starr.”

“Me, too.” She sipped her drink without meeting his gaze. “Kipling, what do you want from me?” she asked suddenly.

“Tonight or in general?”

“Both.”

“Tonight I’d like you to have a good time. After that, I’d like to see where things lead.”

He could have been more specific, but something told him Destiny wasn’t going to deal with that well. For someone who was so confident at work, she was surprisingly restrained when it came to her romantic life. At least that was how he was reading her.

“You know I’m leaving,” she said.

“Yes, I do. I’m not looking for always. I’m a serial monogamy kind of guy.”

“No interest in anything more?”

Sure he had interest. But he couldn’t seem to get to the “wow, I’m in love” place. Mostly because he couldn’t wrap his mind around love having much in the way of value. Doing the right thing was so much more productive than thinking it.

“Sure. I’d like to get married, have a family,” he said, going with the dream rather than reality. “One day. What about you?”

“The same. One day.”

“There you are!” Shelby walked over to the table. She sat next to him and hugged him. “You did it, big brother. This place is a success. Congratulations.”

* * *

S
HELBY
’
S
ARRIVAL
GAVE
Destiny a chance to excuse herself on the pretext of wanting to say hi to some friends. While she hadn’t seen anyone she knew all that well, she needed a moment to catch her breath. Sipping bourbon and staring into Kipling’s eyes was having an unsettling effect on her equilibrium. Or maybe it was the talk about marriage and kids.

Not that he’d been offering, she reminded herself. He hadn’t. And he wasn’t sensible enough for her. But a girl could dream and if she was, then he certainly fell into the “dream-worthy” category.

She wandered back to the bar area and was immediately hit by a wall of noise. If possible there were even more people than before.

Overhead fixtures provided plenty of light, and the music was at a good level. You didn’t have to shout to have a conversation. Liquor flowed freely, and pictures taken at the door flashed on the various TVs. Several people were playing pool. While the poker room was currently serving as additional seating, there was a sign saying when the games would start, along with a sign-up sheet.

If she closed her eyes, she could be five again. Or eight, or any age she’d traveled with her parents. While they’d been huge stars and didn’t perform in bars, they’d enjoyed going to them after the show, and she’d been taken along. There was always a back room where she could be made comfortable on a bed of coats.

She remembered the smells and the sounds. The bursts of laughter, the lingering scent of cigarettes and fried food. Not exactly a nurturing environment, but it had been what she’d known.

It was only after her parents had split up that they’d started having more children. Half siblings she may or may not have met. Would things have been different if Lacey and Jimmy Don had had more kids together? Would additional offspring have forced them to be more like other parents, or was that simply wishful thinking on her part?

“Here you go,” a server said, handing Destiny a fresh drink and taking her previous one. “Nick said to tell you he makes a great Old Fashioned, and not enough people drink them these days.”

“Thank you.”

She raised her glass toward the bar, and Nick waved in response. Just as she took a sip, Madeline rushed up to her.

“OMG, seriously? You’re the only child of Lacey and Jimmy Don Mills?
That
Mills family? You’re like country music royalty.”

Madeline sounded more intrigued by the information than upset Destiny had tried to keep it a secret, which was good. But she was still a little cautious as she asked, “How did you find out?”

“Miles told me. We went out for drinks last night. You never said a word.”

Which was just like Miles, she thought. Poking his nose where he shouldn’t. She was going to have to have yet another chat with him soon. “I don’t talk about it much.”

“Obviously not.” Her friend had a glass of champagne. She linked arms with Destiny and led her to a small table in the corner. “I guess I can see why. That’s all anyone would talk about, right? Your famous parents? But wow. I was stunned.”

They sat across from each other. Madeline had on a pretty blue dress that was the same color as her eyes. She’d pulled her blond hair back into a braid.

“So can you sing, too? You must be able to. Why are you working where you do? Don’t you like the business?”

Destiny took a big swallow of her drink and wondered where to start. “I never wanted what my parents had,” she admitted. “It looks really glamorous from the outside, but from the inside, it’s a tough business. There’s so much travel and craziness. It’s not for me.”

“So you’re a regular person.” Madeline laughed. “That makes me like you so much more.”

“Thanks. Do you know if Miles told anyone else?”

“I have no idea.” Her friend leaned toward her. “Look, this obviously bothers you. I won’t say anything to anyone. I promise. But if Miles told me, he’s going to tell other people.”

“I know. I’ve asked him to stop talking about my family before, but he won’t listen. He’s very chatty when it comes to other people’s personal lives.” Destiny pressed her lips together. “Wait. Are you two dating? I don’t want to say anything I shouldn’t.”

Madeline shook her head. “No. We went out for drinks, but he’s not my type.”

“He’s good-looking and charming.”

“Right? So I should totally fall for him. But I don’t know. There wasn’t any chemistry. And now that I know you’ve asked him to be quiet and he wasn’t, I could never trust him. I want someone with integrity. Someone who cares about family.” Madeline sipped her champagne. “It’s pretty funny. I spend my days helping brides find their dream wedding gowns, and I can’t find my one true love.”

“Have you been looking?”

“Good question. Not for a while now. I grew up here so I know most of the guys my age. Either I dated them or a friend did. My parents have been married forever. I was a change-of-life baby. They’d been trying to get pregnant for years and finally gave up. Then I came along. They’re sweet and still in love after forty-five years.”

“That’s nice.” Destiny did her best not to sound wistful. She knew that romantic love could work out for a limited few, but hadn’t seen it herself. Not up close.

“It does set a pretty high bar,” Madeline admitted. “I don’t want to make a mistake. My mom always told me she knew right away with my dad. That it was like a lightning bolt. He felt the same way about her. I’m still waiting. I swear, when I feel that lightning bolt, I’m going after the guy. I don’t care who he is.” She paused. “Unless he’s, you know, married. If that’s the case, I’ll have to become a nun or something.”

“Are you Catholic?”

Madeline grinned. “No, but that seems like a problem I can overcome, right?”

They laughed together. Shelby joined them and invited them both to lunch the following day. Destiny liked being included. This was different from the casual relationships she usually made on the job. Better.

She was also pleased that Madeline didn’t mention anything about Lacey and Jimmy Don. More drinks were delivered. She felt her tensions ease and knew she was feeling the false courage brought on by too much bourbon, but as she rarely indulged, she figured she was due.

Somewhere around ten, someone turned on the karaoke machine and people started singing. Kipling found his way back to her. They sat together in a booth, his arm around her.

She liked the feel of him next to her. A few couples were dancing to the songs. She wondered what he’d been like before the accident. Not physically. Obviously, he would have moved more easily. But emotionally. Had confronting first death and then later the fact that he might never walk again changed him? Or had he always been one of the good guys?

She heard the familiar opening of Garth Brooks’s “Friends in Low Places” and turned to the stage. Sure enough Miles was up there preparing to launch into the only song he ever sang. Not that she minded hearing his version, it was what was going to happen when he was done.

“I should go,” she said, sliding out of the booth as she spoke.

Kipling followed her, grabbing her hand before she could make her escape. “Not so fast. It’s still early. Stay.”

It wasn’t him, she thought frantically. She was enjoying herself with Kipling. He was easy to be around. Even the personal questions didn’t bother her when he was the one doing the asking.

“It’s not you,” she said, aware of the song progressing and time running out. “It’s something else. I really have to go.”

“But we haven’t danced yet. Destiny, you can’t run out on me.”

“I’m not. There are things that—”

The song ended, and the applause began. Miles held the microphone. She didn’t have to see him to know he was grinning in anticipation.

“I know,” Miles said over the crowd. “Pretty damned good, huh? But if you think that was impressive, wait until you hear our next singer. Destiny, darlin’, where are you?”

She froze. Kipling looked confused.

“You sing in public?” he asked. “I thought you didn’t want people to know.”

“I don’t,” she whispered as the spotlights circled the room before finally landing on her. “Miles has done this to me before.”

“There you are,” Miles called. “Come on up, Destiny. Let’s have a song.”

She shook her head.

“Oh, she’s shy. Come on, everyone. Let’s give her some encouragement.”

Destiny felt people moving away from her. Making a path so she could get to the stage. Kipling stayed where he was, but she didn’t seem able to reach out to him. It was like a force greater than herself had sucked her in, and when she was spit out, she was onstage. She had no memory of walking there, yet the proof was irrefutable. Once again, she’d given in, and now she would have to sing.

Her mother would tell her that the need to perform was in her blood. That she could resist, but eventually she would find herself exactly where she was meant to be.

Miles handed her the microphone.

The second she took it, everyone cheered. Miles stepped up to the machine and scrolled through the songs. He paused on one, and she nodded. Might as well just go for it, she thought, as the familiar notes played.

The crowd went silent. The words scrolled onto the screen, but she didn’t need them. She still remembered sitting quietly while her mother wrote the song that was eventually to become her biggest hit.

“Accidentally Yours”
had won Lacey a Grammy, along with a CMA Award for Single of the Year. She’d also scored as Female Vocalist of the Year.

The music surrounded Destiny as memories filled her. Her parents together. Her parents fighting. The tears and how scared she’d been.

The words to the song came without her thinking as she got lost in the melody. She sang from the heart—the only way she knew how. As if she were alone. So when she was done and people applauded, the sharp sound brought her back to reality with a bit of a thud.

She stared into the crowd, momentarily lost. She shoved the microphone into Miles’s hand and started for the stairs.

“More,” someone yelled. “Sing another song.”

She kept moving. When she reached the floor, she started for the closest exit. In this case, it happened to be the back door.

“Did you know she could sing like that?”

“Who
is
she?”

“...Lacey Mills and then they got a divorce.”

“My mom loves Jimmy Don. I wonder if she could get me an autograph.”

She ignored it all. She could nearly taste her escape. Only a few feet more.

By the time she pushed against the door in the rear room, she was shaking. The door gave easily, and she stumbled out into the dark night. Music still played, but it was muffled. Her head spun, probably from both the drinks and the singing.

She shouldn’t have done it, she told herself. She shouldn’t have given in. But while mostly she could ignore that part of herself, every now and then she was unable to resist. Her mother would tell her that biology was inescapable. That if Destiny simply gave in to the inevitable, her life would be a lot easier.

The door opened, and Kipling joined her.

“You okay?” he asked.

She nodded without speaking. Breathing was still difficult, and words would be impossible.

He looked at her. “You surprised the hell out of a lot of people tonight.”

“That’s one way to put it.” She drew in a deep breath, pleased the words had returned. “I didn’t mean to do it. Sing. I should have said no.”

“You have a beautiful voice.”

“Thank you.”