His Love Endures Forever (24 page)

But when he followed Danielle into the living room, he couldn’t help but eye the paper plate on the floor next to one of the rocking chairs, two half-empty glasses, and an
Englisch
magazine with a pretty woman on the cover. As they made
their way to the kitchen, Levi scrunched his nose. Something smelled unpleasant.

“What’s that smell?” He gazed upon the stack of unwashed dishes that had been there for several days.

Danielle put her purse on the counter as she turned to face him. “What smell?”

“Something smells bad.”

She walked to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water. “I don’t smell anything.”

Levi cringed. He was thankful that his mother hadn’t seen the way they were living. “Want me to help you clean up the kitchen?” He was used to being at work all day, coming home to eat, bathe, and read his Bible, then before he knew it . . . time for bed. Today he was off work to go with Danielle to the doctor, and for the first time, made himself take a good look around. Didn’t his new
fraa
know how to clean house? Even though she worked most afternoons, she still had the mornings to do a little cleanup.

Danielle walked into the living room, slid the paper plate on the floor over with her foot, and sat down. “No, that’s okay. I’ll get it done tomorrow.”

Really?
Levi sat down in the other rocker and reached for his Bible on the makeshift table next to him. A cardboard box.

“Why do you still read the Bible every day when you don’t have to anymore? I mean, since you’re not Amish.” She cocked her head to one side.

Levi marked his place with his finger. “I just like to. I think about what I’ve read, talk to God, and pray about things on my mind.”

“Like what?”

Levi closed the book. Danielle rarely wanted to talk about
anything to do with God, even though he knew she felt God’s presence sometimes, just like she had at the little church where they’d been married. Or maybe even that morning, when she’d decided on their son’s name. “Uh, well . . . today I’m thanking the Lord that the baby looks healthy and that everything went well at the doctor.”

Danielle kicked the rocker into motion with her foot. “Hmm . . .” She laid a hand across her stomach.

Levi missed the family devotion time with his parents and Betsy. “Do you want to . . . uh, pray with me?”

She shook her head. “No. But you go ahead.” She leaned her head back against the rocker but turned her head to face him. “Is that bad?”

He shrugged. “No. It’s not
bad
.” He opened the Bible again but couldn’t focus. Holding his spot, he said, “Do you pray? I mean . . . ever?” He held his breath.
Please, God, let her say yes
.

“Sometimes.”

Relief washed over him.

“You know how I feel about all the God stuff.” She paused, biting her bottom lip. “But sometimes I feel . . .” She shrugged. “I dunno. Like maybe there is Someone out there far, far away that I just can’t reach. Maybe I don’t try hard enough. Or maybe I’m not worthy.”

This was the most he’d gotten out of Danielle about God since he’d known her, and it thrilled him to be having this discussion. “None of us are worthy, Danielle. Only Christ’s sacrifice made us forever-worthy.”

“Then why do it, the praying, the talking to Him?”

Levi closed the book and twisted his body in the chair to face her. “Because when you feel the Holy Spirit, or when God
answers a prayer, it’s an amazing feeling, and you know you’re a part of something so much bigger than just yourself.”

Danielle stared at him with a blank look for a few moments. “Do you see how you’re acting?”

“What?”

“You’re so excited talking about God.” She frowned. “And I just don’t get it. I don’t feel it, Levi. And I don’t know if I ever will.” She shook her head. “But I will never, ever do anything to interfere with your, uh . . . relationship . . . with God.”

Levi hung his head for a moment, but quickly looked back into her beautiful green eyes, noticing the small scar on her cheek. He tried to understand how her past had affected the present and possibly their future. He’d always been taught that God had a plan. Levi wondered if he’d been in Danielle’s shoes, if he would have questioned God’s plan too. But her being tolerant of his relationship with God just wasn’t enough. He wanted her to know God; anything less was cheating herself out of the most beautiful part of life.

“Will you do me a favor?” Levi reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers.

She smiled. “I’ll do anything for you.”

“Pray with me, then.”

He felt her try and edge away, but he kept a firm hold, pretending like he didn’t notice.

“Oh, okay.” She bit her lip again for a second. “But you’ll have to do all the talking.”

Levi smiled. “No problem.” He bowed his head, unsure if she was doing the same. He closed his eyes, and before he spoke aloud, he prayed that the Lord would touch Danielle somehow, that He would give Levi the right words to get through to her.

“My dear Lord in heaven, today I thank You for Your many blessings . . . for Danielle, and for our baby Joshua, a true miracle and gift. I pray, Lord, that You will guide our hands to be
gut
parents and that we will raise our
kinner
according to . . .” Levi had almost said the
Ordnung
when he remembered that their children wouldn’t be raised Amish. “To be
gut
Christians. I pray that You will bless our food, the work of our hands, and that we will be generous and kind to all those we meet. I ask You to bless this new home of ours and all who come here. And, Lord, I pray that You will bless my marriage to Danielle. Please keep Your hand on us and help us to stay on the path You’ve chosen for us. Amen.”

Within a matter of seconds, Danielle had jumped from her rocking chair and into Levi’s lap. She buried her head against his chest.

“Ladybug?” He tried to ease her away, but she kept her face against his shirt, now damp with her tears. “Danielle, what is it? Why are you crying?” He ran a hand the length of her hair. “Tell me.”

She kept her head buried in his chest as she mumbled, “I don’t know.”

“Did I say something in my prayer that upset you?” He tried again to get her to sit up and look at him, but she clung to his shirt and kept her face buried.

She shook her head. “No, Levi. You didn’t upset me. I just feel . . . emotional.”

Levi pulled her closer. “That’s a
gut
thing.” Levi smiled, stroking her hair. “Sometimes, I think when God is reaching out to us, it can be a little overwhelming.”

She eased away, and Levi began to kiss away her tears.

“I’m sorry I’m crying.” She swiped at her eyes. “I must seem dumb.”

Levi smiled before he kissed her on the mouth. “No. It’s not dumb at all.”

“I just . . .” She shrugged. “I don’t know how to explain it, so can we not talk about it anymore?”

“Okay.”

She buried her face in his chest again. Levi knew that his new wife might not realize it yet, but the hand of the Lord was on her. It always had been. But maybe this was the first time that she felt Him near.

What an amazing feeling
.

Levi pulled her closer.
Thank You, Lord. Thank You, thank
You . . .

A
N HOUR LATER
, Danielle was at her little church, sitting in the front row. She’d told Levi that she was going to the store for milk, and that was true. But now here she was. Unsure why. Again.

She took a deep breath, crossed her legs, and stared at the front of the church. As she kicked her foot into action, her thoughts were awhirl. When Levi had prayed for them, she’d felt hopeful, but scared at the same time. What if she allowed God into her heart and He let her down again? Was the payoff worth the risk?

And what was in the back of her mind, something that seemed buried in the memories of life with her mother? It was like a seed that had sprouted and was climbing through thick soil, stretching for daylight, but never quite making it to the
surface. Sometimes, like today with Levi, it felt like the topsoil was beginning to loosen and crack, but the light still seemed out of reach.

God, was I a bad child?

It was the only thing that came to mind.

She could barely remember when her father was alive, even though she was eleven when he died. Why was that? She knew she’d felt loved when he was around, which was far too seldom. He’d worked a lot. But why couldn’t she remember much else?

I’m going to go now. I’ll probably come back
.

She stood up and walked out of the church.

L
EVI ANSWERED THE
door, excited to see Emily, and even more excited that she was carrying a large bag. “I hope that’s food.” He rubbed his hands together before he pulled her into a hug.

“
Ya
. It is.
Mamm
said you looked thin at worship service.”

Levi eased away from Emily and closed the door behind her, giving it a hard kick. “She barely spoke to me or Danielle.”

“It will take her some time, Levi. She’ll come around.” Emily handed him the bag. “Is Danielle here?”

“
Nee
. She went to town to get milk. She’ll be back soon. Doesn’t take long when you have a car.” He offered a weak smile, a little embarrassed by the luxury. Then he remembered the way the kitchen looked. He scooped up the paper plates and glasses on the floor in the living room. “Here, sit. I’ll put this in the kitchen and be right back.”

Levi hurried to the kitchen, put the bag on the counter,
and stuffed the plates in the garbage. When he turned around, Emily was standing in the doorway.

“Sorry about the mess.” Levi glanced around the kitchen.

“
Ach
, it’s okay.” Emily smiled. “I stopped by unannounced.”

Levi shook his head. “It’s not okay, but I don’t know what to do about it.” He walked to where his sister was standing and whispered . . . even though no one else was around. “I don’t think Danielle knows how to clean house.”

Emily grimaced. “Really?”

Levi waved a hand toward the sink full of dishes. “Or this just doesn’t bother her. I don’t know. And I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but . . .”

Emily untied her black bonnet and pulled it off her head, then straightened her white prayer covering. “Maybe she wasn’t taught how to clean properly.”

“I don’t know.” Levi shook his head. “Martha kept a neat house, but I think she had to stay on Danielle about cleaning up after herself. Danielle’s mentioned that.”

“Maybe she’s just tired. I hear that pregnant women are tired a lot.” His sister got a faraway look in her eyes. Levi knew how much Emily and David wanted a baby, and it just hadn’t happened yet.

“So, what’s in the bag?” Levi tapped the brown paper bag, then took a peek inside, inhaling deeply. “Bread. I’m so thankful.”

“And some chicken and rice casserole and a pecan pie.” Emily frowned. “Does it hurt Danielle’s feelings when I bring food?”

Levi laughed. “
Nee
. I think she’s as grateful as I am.” He faced his sister. “If you ever have time, maybe you can teach her some of
Mamm’s
recipes? She’s been trying to make bread, but
it never comes out. We eat lots of food out of boxes and from the freezer. And what I wouldn’t do to have some meatloaf . . .”

“I’ll be happy to.” Emily nodded at the lantern Levi kept on the kitchen counter. “How is Danielle handling not having electricity?”

“Doesn’t really seem to bother her. She charges her cell phone in Martha’s car when she comes to visit or at their house when she goes there. And I told her I liked her hair with the natural wave, so she doesn’t straighten it with that iron anymore when she’s at Martha’s.” He pulled the bread out of the bag as he talked. “But I did tell her I’d put in some solar panels when I can afford it.”

Emily grinned. “Well, since you’re in the business, I’m sure
Daed
will give you a
gut
deal.”

Levi leaned against the counter. “I guess I’m enjoying living the way I used to live for as long as I can.”

Emily touched Levi on the arm. “I know all of this is new and strange for you, Levi. But I continue to pray for you every day. I think what you’re doing is honorable. And you will be a
gut
father.”

“It’s a boy.” Levi smiled. “We went to the
Englisch
doctor today, and they told us we’re having a boy. We’re naming him Joshua.” He knew pride was a sin, but the feeling was abundant just the same.

Emily wrapped him in her arms for a quick hug. “
Ach
, that’s wonderful, Levi. Joshua will be a lucky little boy to have you in his life.” She stepped back. “Now, I need to go. Enjoy the food, and tell Danielle that I will be happy to show her how to make bread and some of your favorite recipes. If you’re sure she’d welcome that idea.”

“
Danki
, Emily.” He followed her out of the kitchen and through the living room to the front door.

“No problem. I don’t have anything else to do.” She sighed.

“God will bless you with
kinner
soon. I know it.”

Levi watched Emily walk to her buggy, and he thought about everything she’d been through. The rape back in Middlefield, her enduring the trial. It had been a horrible time for all of them. Emily still had a small scar above her eyebrow from the incident, about the same size as the scar on Danielle’s cheek. But God had lovingly healed Emily and sent David into her life. They were a wonderful couple, and Levi was going to remember to say an extra prayer for his sister, that the Lord would bless them with children soon.