His Heart for the Trusting (15 page)

“We'll be by in
a while to bring him home,” Mitch said as Beau walked away with Jonathan in his
arms.

Mitch was
staring at her.  What was he thinking giving her this horse?  Not to mention
the money he'd passed up not selling it to the Silverado Cattle Company.

When they were
alone, she waited next to the gate for Mitch to ride the horse by so she could
talk with him without anyone overhearing.  She stuffed her hands in her pocket
in anticipation.

“Mitch,” she
said, looking up at his bright smile.  He was pleased with himself.  She could
tell he wanted her to have Midnight.  “I can't accept this horse.”

His spirits
didn't waiver.  “Why not?  Don't you like her?”

“She's
beautiful.”

“Not half as
beautiful as you, Sara.”

Heat crept up
her neck and burned her cheeks.  “Mitch, I don't have any place to keep a
horse.”

“Keep her
here.  That way you have an excuse to come back and visit,” he said, sliding
down from his mount.  He wasn't looking at her now.  But Sara could tell he was
testing her.

“I'm going back
to the reservation.”

“I know that.” 
He looked at her then and what she saw was emotion, not anger.  His voice was
quiet, blending in with the sounds of the coming night.  She'd told him
straight out and he didn't charge back at her to intimidate her.  It's one of
the things she…loved about him.

She sighed.

“Just because
you're leaving some day doesn't mean you can't come back to visit.”

She stared at
him for a moment, emotion waging war inside her.  Could she come back?  It was
a dangerous thought.  She was already too close to both Mitch and Jonathan. 
Flitting in and out of their lives would only confuse them.

“It wouldn't be
the same.”

“No, it
wouldn't,” he said.  “But you know what I want.  There's no need for me to say
more than that.  I just wanted to give you Midnight as a present.  She's like
you.  She's incredibly gentle, and her eyes flash like firecrackers when she's
excited.  And when she neighs, it's as if she's singing.  Just like you.”

Her bottom lip
trembled.  It was an incredibly beautiful thing to say.  And the fact that
Mitch gifted her with Midnight for that reason made it impossible for her to
resist.

“Come ride with
me,” Mitch said, reaching his hand out to her.  “You'll see she's meant for
you.”

Her heart
couldn't tell her different.

“Together?”

“Sure.  That
way I have a valid excuse to hold you close.”

She climbed
onto the front of Midnight's saddle.  Mitch slipped on the back.  As he wrapped
his arms around her to take the reins, she was engulfed by his warmth and
spirit and she suddenly had the urge to run far away.  She wasn't ready for
this.  Wasn't ready to open up her heart for more heartache.  She'd made that mistake
once before, hadn't she?

“You want to
take control?  You can take her anywhere you please.”

What she
pleased was sitting their snuggled up against Mitch.  She turned her head back
and he nuzzled his whiskered cheek against hers, giving her a quick kiss before
placing the reins in her hands. 

He let her
lead.  Mitch was good that way.  He let her know what he wanted for sure.  But
the decision was always hers.  She was always free to walk away.

And she
hadn't.  She'd stayed here at the Double T when she could have had someone in
place at the ranch to care for Jonathan within a week of her arrival if she’d
really pushed hard to find someone. 

Why hadn't
she?  It didn't make sense.  She hadn't tried hard enough to find a replacement
for herself because deep down, this is where she wanted to be.  How had her
plans to go back to the reservation been derailed so quickly?

Instead of
giving in to self-deprecation, she reveled in the feel of Mitch's corded
muscles as he helped her maneuver Midnight around the paddock.

She was so
entranced in the quiet moment, the feeling of just being with Mitch, listening
to the clip clop of Midnight's hooves as she danced around the corral that she
didn't notice Lillian's approach.  And apparently, neither had Mitch.

“Just what do
you think you're doing?” Lillian boomed.

Sara snapped
her gaze to the edge of the corral and felt her heart sink to the dirt.  There
was absolutely nothing wrong with her what she was doing with Mitch.  Mitch and
Lillian were no longer married.  But suddenly Sara felt as if she were caught
red-handed stealing fresh baked cookies from the cookie jar.

Lillian dropped
to the ground and picked up Jonathan's bonnet, which must have fallen from her
pocket when she entered the corral.  “And just who is taking care of my son?”

# # #

Chapter Nine

“Jonathan's
fine, Lillian.”

“Where is he?”

“He’s safe.”

She reached
into her purse and pulled out an envelope.  “Read this.”

Mitch rode
Midnight over to where Lillian stood and dismounted.  Sara quickly followed.

“What are you
up to now, Lillian?”

“Read for
yourself.”

Sara watched as
Mitch's face turned to horror.  “Why you...”  He stopped himself short.  Mitch
wasn't a man to cuss out like she'd heard many men do.  She'd yet to hear him
use a foul word in front of her in all the time they'd spent together.  

“What is it,
Mitch?”

“A summons to
appear in court for custody of Jonathan.”  His voice was tight and controlled,
like he always was, but Sara was sure he felt anything that resembled control. 
“And an order to bring him back to Baltimore within forty-eight hours.”

“If you don't
want this to turn into kidnapping charges, I suggest you comply.”

“Kidnapping?”
Sara gasped.  “You're the one who brought him here.”

“You have no
right to do this, Lillian.  You abandoned him.”

“This piece of
paper says otherwise.  We'll let the courts decide what to do next.”

Lillian turned
to walk away.

“You don't want
to see Jonathan?” Sara called out.

“No sense
upsetting the child by putting him in between two bickering parents, huh,
Mitch?  Things could get ugly.  I'll see you in Baltimore.”

* * *

It had taken
every ounce of control to keep Mitch from losing his temper.  It wouldn't solve
anything.  And he knew, even as Lillian drove off the Double T Ranch last night
that she was coming back.  She wasn't done playing games with him.

“What are you
going to do?” Sara asked quietly.

He heaved a
heavy sigh and closed his eyes.  “Go to Baltimore and let the Judge know that a
woman like Lillian has no right raising a kid.  Not my kid, anyway.”

“Don't you
think you're being a little unfair?”

“What?  How
unfair is it to come back after two months and say she wants Jonathan back? 
Until when?  She's got a reason for doing this, Sara.  She admitted to wanting
a financial arrangement.”

“Perhaps she
didn’t have the money to care for a baby.  Maybe she’s just asking for child
support.”

Mitch shook his
head.  “She doesn’t love this baby.  None of this has to do with Jonathan.”

He started
walking back to the main house to get his son.  He needed to hold him.  Needed
to know he was still safe here with him even though he could see the red
taillights of Lillian's car bounding through the front gate of the ranch. 

When had his
love for his son grown such leaps and bounds that he felt such rage of emotion
to protect him from his own mother?  But it had.  Sara had seen that it was
possible.  In her woman's way, she prodded him and kept at him until the love
in his heart spilled over and he couldn't help but feel so strongly for
Jonathan.

And Sara.  She
couldn't work that kind of magic without his heart spilling over for her as
well. 

He was vaguely
aware of Sara chasing his heels.

“Mitch, you've
got to think this through.  I mean really think it before you do anything
rash.”

“What's to
think about?  I'll make a reservations for us on a flight to Baltimore
tomorrow.  We'll meet with the Judge, have our say, and be back on a plane
before you know it.”

“It's not that
simple.”

“Sure it is. 
What kind of judicial system would give a child back to a mother who abandoned
him?”

He heard her
heavy sigh.  “It happens all the time.  People make mistakes.”

Mitch stopped
short and swung around to face Sara.  “Lillian didn't make a mistake.  She made
a move.  There's a huge difference.”

“I know she
hurt you.”

“Yes.”

“But how can
you really be sure?”

“I just am.”

Sara threw her
hands up in frustration.  “And that makes it alright, denying her the right to
see her baby?  Are you really so sure a judge is going to see it that way?”

“That's the way
it was.  How else can he see it?”  He has to see it that way, Mitch thought
with dread.  He would not lose his son.  Not now, not ever.  Jonathan would not
be used as a pawn in one of Lillian's games.

“She made a
mistake, Mitch.”

He turned
around, saw that in his haste and wide strides he was a good fifteen feet ahead
of Sara.  He also saw tears filling her eyes.  Sad tears, not the kind that
welled in her eyes when she was telling a story of something happy. 

He met her half
way before speaking again.  “What are you saying, Sara?”

“Lillian might
not have wanted to keep Jonathan for any number of reasons.  Maybe she really
believed she couldn't handle him or be a good mother to him.  Maybe she was
experiencing postpartum.  Maybe she does just need some financial help to be
able to raise him.  It happens.  Sometimes things seem so hopeless that you do
things you regret.” 

“Are you saying
I should just give Jonathan over to her?”

“No.  I don't
know what her reasons were for leaving him here.  I don't know her.  But
whatever the reasons were, maybe it was just a mistake.  And maybe she realizes
just how big a mistake she made in letting Jonathan go like that.”

“Then she's the
one who made it.”

“That's it? 
She should just pay for her mistakes for the rest of her life?”

“It shouldn't
be Jonathan who pays.”  He started walking toward the main house again.

“But he will. 
Mitch, I made a mistake.  Are you telling me I should pay for the rest of my
life for it?”

He swung
around.  “This isn't about you, Sara.”

“Yes, it is. 
In a way anyway.  I came here to help you at a time you needed it.  Maybe
Lillian needed a hand and no one was there to help her.  I know what that's
like.  I've been there.  Maybe she knew you'd be shocked.  She knew you'd be
angry that she didn't tell you about him.  But she also knew you enough to know
you'd love him and take care of him.”

He didn't want
to hear it.  As much as he knew Sara believed what she was saying to be true,
he also knew it wasn't possible.  Lillian just wasn't that kind of woman.  He
was the one who'd made the mistake in thinking the woman he'd married was the
same sweet girl he'd known as a kid.  But he was wrong.  She'd changed.  He'd
been blind to that.  It was only after they’d married that he’d been able to
see all the evidence of her true nature was there all along.

“If things had
been different and you'd known about Jonathan before he was born...”

He cocked his
head.  “What are you suggesting?  That Lillian and I would still be together?”

She looked down
at the ground.  She'd lost a little of her strength.  “If I wasn't here—”

Shaking his
head, he said, “It wouldn't change a thing.  I'd still want Jonathan to be with
me and I'd still be sending Lillian back to Baltimore alone.  I know Lillian.
Ever since we were married, she hasn't done anything unless it benefited her in
some way.  She's got an ace in the hole somewhere and she's just waiting for
the right time to play her hand.”

“Maybe she's
changed.”

“No one can
change that much.”

A tear streamed
down her cheek.  “Why is it so hard for you to think she's hasn't changed and
yet...”  She swiped her cheek and started walking in the opposite direction
toward the foreman's house.

“Sara?”

She didn't stop
walking, so he changed directions and followed her.

“Where are you
going?”

“Back to the
reservation, like I should have done all along.”

“You can't do
that.  I...”  It was hard to say the words.  He needed her.  It wasn't the same
as it had been the first day Jonathan had come to the Double T.  He wasn't as
inept with his son as he had been that day or the days following.  His hands
started shaking.

“What, Mitch? 
You need me?”

He widened his
strides and caught up to her quickly, bracing her with his hands to keep her
from going any further.  “Yes, I do.”

Her smile was bittersweet. 
“You know how to take care of Jonathan now.”

“I'm not
talking about Jonathan.”

Her expression
broke his heart.  “Mitch, when I left Dave the first time, he destroyed me.  I
checked into a hotel room and found out the next day from the hotel manager
that Dave had cancelled my credit card.  I picked myself up only to find that
he'd withdraw all the money we had in our bank accounts.  I had nothing.  So I
went to some friends we'd had for years...”  Her voice cracked.  “They turned
me away.  All my friends suddenly became Dave's friends and I was just a bitter
soon-to-be ex-wife trying to get whatever she could from him.  Even my
housekeeper refused to let me into our home after Dave had changed the locks
and threatened to fire her.”

Mitch reached
for Sara.  He'd had no idea it was that hard for her to break free of her
husband's cruelty.  All he wanted to do was wrap her in his arms now and tell
her she didn't have to endure that pain anymore.  But when he moved closer,
Sara took a wide step back and knotted her arms across her chest.