His Heart for the Trusting (13 page)

But Sara
remained silent by the kitchen doorway, just staring at Jonathan while he
screamed and screamed, as if she were about to scream herself.  Abruptly, she
darted to the refrigerator and seized a bottle already filled with formula.

“He hasn't had
his bottle yet,” Sara said nervously.  “He's hungry, that's all.  It’ll just
take a minute to warm up the bottle and then he’ll be fine.”

She unscrewed
the cap off the bottle and placed it in the microwave.  As the microwave
hummed, Mitch took a long step forward and lifted his son from his mother's
arms.  Relief washed over him, but an underlying uneasiness remained.

He hated the
look on Sara's face when he handed Jonathan to her.  She just stared at him,
unshed tears clinging to her dark eyes, pleading with him.  Then she looked at
Lillian.  Jonathan started screaming again and suddenly all her attention was
focused once again on the baby.

Mitch had
thought Sara was going to feed the bottle to Jonathan.  But from the bewildered
look in her eye when he handed the baby to her, it was clear she'd prepared the
bottle so that Lillian could feed him.

“Please take
Jonathan upstairs to bed,” Mitch said quietly.

She nodded. 
“Okay,” she said in a voice much too shaky for his liking. 

He noticed the
slight unsteadiness of her step as she left, and he wished to God she didn't
have to be part of this whole scene.

“Okay, out with
it.  What do you really want, Lillian?” he asked when they were finally alone.

Her chuckle was
low and quick.  “You offend me.”

“You do a
pretty good job of that yourself by playing games.  At least, that's the way I
remember it.”

“Is this any
way to treat your long lost wife?”

“Ex-wife.  It
was a mistake that lasted two weeks.  That's why it was annulled.”

“That was my
mistake.  See, if I'd only known that your rich grandfather really did have a
pile of money, I'd have hired myself a good divorce lawyer instead of letting
you talk me into that annulment.”

Mitch shook his
head.  “You know as well as I do that our marriage was a mistake.  It never
would have worked.”

Lillian
chuckled wryly.  “That much is true.  If I had to live my whole life holed up
here in some dusty Texas town I'd have gone mad.”

“Then why did
you marry me in the first place.  Why are you here now?”

“I told you.  I
wanted to see my son.”

Mitch let out a
slow sigh and quickly glanced at the kitchen door.  “Well, now you have,” he
said quietly.

“And I think
Jonathan deserves to get some of that money your grandfather willed to you.”

“What will?  I
told you the day I came home and found someone else on my side of the bed that
his lawyer never drew up a will.  And except for the few investments he had,
which no doubt my dad has already lost in Las Vegas, my grandfather lived his
last days on social security.”

“No wonder your
father was able to hurt you so badly.  You're far too gullible, Mitch.”

“Just get out. 
Now,” he said, through clenched teeth.

“Not until my
son gets everything that's coming to him.”

“Everything I
have is his.”

Her lips
twisted into a satisfied grin.  “That's what I'm counting on.”

“That doesn't
include you.”

She glared hard
at him, but he didn't back down or make apologize for his behavior.  Her lips
pursed wryly.  “Still upset that I forgot to tell you about him, are you?”

“You didn't
forget anything.  With you, everything is a calculated move.  What I can't
figure out is the timing.  Why did you wait until he was a few weeks old to
tell me about him?”

“You're the one
who left Baltimore.”

He shook his
head in disbelief.  “You’ve always known how to find me. You could have
called.  I would have been there for you.”

She glanced up
at him and for a split second, he saw the young girl he knew as a child. 
“Would you have?  Even after the way things ended for us?”

In truth, Mitch
wasn't sure.  It was all a bit of a blur now the way he'd come home from the
nursing home after visiting his grandfather on his deathbed and finding his
wife with another man when they were still on their honeymoon.  At the time,
he'd seen what he needed to see in Lillian.  Only then did he see the true
woman he'd married.  He was glad when she so readily agreed to an annulment.  

Lillian settled
herself in a chair at the kitchen table and fingered the delicate tablecloth
Sara had covered it with.  “Your lady friend has nice taste.”

“I told you to
leave Sara out of this.”

With a roll of
her eyes, she began rifling through her purse and after a moment, pulled out a
compact and a tube of lipstick.  She reapplied another layer of red over her
already colored lips while she spoke. 

“I'm surprised
you even want to be saddled with a kid.  All those plans you had to own ranch
and train horses?  A baby doesn’t leave much time for that.  But you'd talked
about how much one day having a family meant to you.  It was too late to have—”

The glare he
shot stopped her from finishing. 

Lillian sighed
and went on, ignoring him. “I almost didn't have him, you know.  But I did.  I
must have gotten pregnant on our wedding night .  I didn't even know until
after you'd already left for Texas.  You were so angry, I figure it would only
make things worse.  I was all ready to give him up for adoption, but then, I
figured you'd really hate me then.”

“Does that
matter to you?”

“We were
friends once upon a time.  But then I wasn't sure you'd even want Jonathan.”

“He's my son. 
Besides, what choice did you leave me?  You blew out the door like a tornado
the first chance you got.”

“You could have
shipped him back to Baltimore.”

“Shipped him? 
Oh, now that's very maternal of you.”

Lillian gave
him a hard look, sugarcoated with sweetness.  “I never said I was.  But he is
my son.”

“If seeing him
is what you want, I'll have my lawyer draw up some visitation agreement and you
can visit.”

She laughed. 
The wickedness of it sent a chill racing through his veins and up his spin. 
The woman he remembered leaving in Baltimore was back.  She had a plan, an
agenda and Mitch wanted no part of it.

“Not
visitation.  I want him back.”

Mitch felt as
if the wind had been knocked out of him.  “You're not leaving this ranch with
Jonathan.  You abandoned him.”

“Did I?  I’m
sure a judge will see it a different way.  I was hoping we could come to some
kind of a…financial agreement on our own.  You know lawyers can make things so
messy, and they are so expensive.  If you stop and think clearly about what's
best for Jonathan, I'm sure we'll be able to work something out.”

“You want money
to get out of Jonathan’s life?”

“Is that an
offer?”

He shook his
head and walked to the door.  “I don't trust you, Lillian.  And I’m done
talking.”

With practiced
grace, she stretched her legs out from beneath the table and stood.  “I'm sorry
to hear you say that.  But not half as sorry as you'll be when I'm through with
you.” 

“What's that
supposed to mean?”

“You of all
people should know that when I want something I don't stop until I get it. 
It's something we both shared, something you once said was what attracted you
to me.”

His fists
clench at his side, he leveled her with a hard gaze as she spun on her designer
heels through the door without another word.  Looking back once, Lillian smiled
and then Mitch slammed the door as she walked away.

Mitch hadn't
realized how fast and hard his heart was pumping until he was alone in the
silence.

Good God, she
wanted to take his son away.  His son.   And for a financial agreement.  What
kind of money did she think he had?  What little money he did have was tied up
in the ranch.  But as Lillian had pointed out, Jonathan was her son too.  And
she was using him as a bargaining chip.

His hands were
trembling when he poured a glass of water and then quickly gulped it down.  He
had to see Jonathan.  Needed to see his son.  Watching Lillian, hearing her
threats had brought back way too many memories he didn't want to face, shaking
him to the core.

* * *

The light in
the room had gone dim with the fading day.  Jonathan had fallen asleep after
only finishing half a bottle, well before the yelling stopped.  Sara sat
quietly,  rocking the baby for a while until she heard the kitchen door slam. 
She placed Jonathan in his new crib and then peered out the window.  As
Lillian's car spun away, Sara expelled a heavy sigh of relief that it was over. 
She couldn't face hearing any more bickering over Jonathan.  He was just a
baby, an innocent.

But mostly,
Sara couldn't stay because no matter how much she knew Mitch was angry and
frightened by Lillian's appearance, she didn't share his feelings.

She'd seen the
longing in Lillian's eyes when she glanced over at Jonathan.  It must have been
hard for her to see Jonathan after so long and  seen how much he'd change.  And
how he'd bonded with a total stranger.  After two months, it was as if Jonathan
didn't even know his mother was holding him. 

But Lillian was
Jonathan's mother, not Sara.  She'd known that all along, obviously.  But until
now, Lillian was just a name.  She wasn't a living breathing person who could
make decisions and make mistakes, just as she had.  She wasn't a beautiful
woman that Mitch had loved and had a child with.  Even though in her mind, Sara
knew she existed, Lillian hadn't been real to her.  Until now.

She sank down
into the rocking chair by Jonathan's crib and pushed back with a sigh. 
Jonathan was sound asleep and would probably remain that way until the
morning.  He was such a good baby that way. 

And Mitch,
although he'd balked at the idea of being a father, he'd stepped into the role
with ease.  Now it was as if Jonathan had always been a part of his life.  He
had to be scared to death of losing him.

Leaning forward
in the rocker, Sara stared at this precious baby she'd come to love so dearly. 
The resemblance to Mitch was undeniable.  But there had to be signs of his
mother there, too.  She searched the baby's face and her memory for traces of
Lillian in Jonathan's features and came up blank.  Oh, she knew Lillian was
there.  And as Jonathan grew and changed, more of his mother would emerge.  But
for right now, this little cowboy was the spitting image of his daddy.

That made the
illusion easier.  An illusion that had been shattered even as Mitch still had
his arms wound securely around her.

 Sara could
almost still feel the hard, corded muscles of Mitch's shoulders jump underneath
her touch as she reached up and kissed him earlier.  Unconsciously, she drew in
a breath and the memory of his aftershave filled her.  She'd opened up her
heart and let Mitch Broader in, despite knowing she shouldn't.

Her goal had
been so clear.  She was going home.  But now her heart was crying out for
something different yet again.  How could that be?  She couldn't possibly be
doomed to continue making the same mistake repeatedly.

It was only a
matter of weeks before she'd start visiting the schools on the rez.  As soon as
word got out, she knew she'd probably get offers from schools in the
surrounding area to tell the stories that were being lost to this new
generation of Apache children.  She still wanted all that.  But she wanted
Mitch, too.  Now that Lillian was here in Texas, what would that mean for all
of them?  Where did she fit in?

The creak in
the top stair tread signaled Mitch was just outside her bedroom door.  She'd
heard the kitchen door slam and the car roar down the driveway.  Sara had let
out a sigh of relief that Jonathan was still sleeping in his crib.  She had no
right to that feeling.

Mitch appeared
at the doorway.  His face no longer held that ferocious look of a lion
protecting his cub.  The rough lines of his face and his drawn expression
showed both how weary and relieved he was.

He didn't say a
word.  He just walked over to the crib and laid a gentle hand on Jonathan's
belly as he slept.  He stood there for a long moment in silence, just watching. 
Finally, he turned and glanced at Sara.

“You should
turn in,” he whispered.  “It's been a long day and you look exhausted.”

“So do you.”

He simply
nodded, then walked out of the room.  The magic of the day was gone.

# # #

Chapter Eight

It had been a
restless night for both of them, Sara realized the moment Mitch appeared
downstairs.  The slight bend in his shoulders, and the heaviness of his eyes
told of how he had thought long hours into the night about Lillian's visit.

Sara had, too. 
Much as she knew it was none of her business, she couldn't help but wonder how
this visit from Lillian would change both her life and Mitch's.

He'd never
gotten to tell her what he'd wanted to say yesterday.  They'd been interrupted
by the doorbell.  But these past few days had felt almost magical in a way Sara
hadn't thought ever possible again.  She was sure Mitch was going to ask her to
stay.  He'd kept himself back from asking.  He was fiercely independent that
way.  She understood too well what had driven him there.  She’d experienced a
similar kind of betrayal, and knew how much Mitch valued his hard-fought
self-esteem.

On the outside,
the cockiness of a man who knew where he was going and what he was doing didn't
mask the pained little boy who'd been left to handle emotional bruises.  It was
there.  And she...yes, she loved him both for it and because of what he'd
managed to do in spite of it.  Mitchell Broader was a good man.  He had his
reasons for not giving Lillian a second chance.