HETAERA: Daughter of the Gods (35 page)

“I am sorry, Zahouri. I did not mean to belittle
you. We are all children of Egypt, whatever our origins--you, by birth, and I,
by choice. Let’s not quarrel. Make the necessary preparations. I promise to
head for Sais by the week’s end.”

“Or tomorrow, perhaps?” he wheedled. “Tomorrow
would be a good day to sail. I’ve heard the weather will be fine.” He sounded
so hopeful.

I did not like to be hounded into action, nor did
I wish to rush to Sais only to return when Amasis married his Great Wife. No
Queen of Egypt would tolerate a courtesan as her husband’s personal confidant. Lesser
wives, such as all the Princesses, surely must bow to Pharaoh’s decree, but a
Queen? Her position would be as like to Pharaoh’s own, and her power multiplied
tenfold. Not only would I lose him, but I would be forced to leave Egypt
altogether.

“No, not tomorrow. Would you have me appear before
Amasis, thin and ill from the sea? Give me a few days of solid earth beneath my
feet and decent food before I must go.”

Zahouri bowed deeply. “As you wish, Mistress. It
shall be done.”

Oh, if only it were that simple.

The day I sailed back to Sais, I decided to put an
end to my foolish naiveté. I’d thought long about the lessons I’d learned from
Aesop, from the misery of my life as a slave to my experience as the only
Egyptian
hetaera
. Well, I was a woman now. I need seek my value
from no one. If the goddess saw fit to send me love, it would not be the fickle
attentions of some man too weak to make his own destiny. Surely not after all
I’d learned.

Live free
, my father bade me.

It was time to put away childish dreams and
consider what lay ahead. To plan for my future, whatever future my Lady had in
store for me. And here I had the very symbol of my misspent youth, stowed in my
baggage. I handed Kyky to my escort and fetched out my lovely rose-gold
slippers from the
peplos
stored in my satchel.

The afternoon sunlight glittered on the ripples of
the Nile. The small barge moved through the green waters like an eel. I
breathed deeply and glanced at the slipper in each hand.

I’d vowed to follow my Lady all of my days and
she’d indeed led me to Love.

Perhaps mine was not the love of a god-king, or
even a simple man. But Egypt, ah Egypt! Motherland of nations, she sang to me a
song called
home
. After so many years, I’d grown to adore it. The
endless copper sands, the swelling jade river that twisted through the black
fertile land, the gleaming white cities, even the deliciously impudent people
who kneaded clay with their hands and bread with their feet! They chose their
own path and so must I.

What need did I have for empty tokens, when the
goddess gave me riches in excess in every leaf, rock, and wave? For me,
Rhodopis of Egypt, it would have to be enough.

I called upon all the gods of my memory, those of
Thrace, Greece and Egypt. I called upon my Lady with the Golden Hair. Take back
the treasures you have given, that I may honor you anew, as a woman.

I breathed deeply, drew my right hand back and
flung one of my treasured slippers far over the water. It glimmered like a
blazing star and arced toward the welcoming depths of the Nile with a soft
tinkle of the brass bells. But just as the toe of my slipper touched the water,
there was a piercing seven-scale cry and a flutter of cream and brown bird’s
wings. A predator swooped low over the water, hunting for his evening meal.

I cried out and lunged far over the side of the
barge, but it was too late. I lost sight of my slipper beneath the feathered
body of a crested falcon. His talons dipped into the river’s surface and he
lifted up, up and sailed away carrying a dripping treasure in his fierce grasp.

“My slipper!” I shouted. “Come back!”

What portent did this have for my return? Did the
gods not accept my offering? I glanced at the remaining slipper. I thought I’d
learned so much. I’d lost nearly everything I treasured in my life, if only to
gain some measure of clarity. Did that count for nothing?

“How much more?” I shook my empty fist at the sky.

The far off, triumphant cry of the falcon
rebounded across the water.

*** ***

By late afternoon we docked in Sais. The docks
were almost empty, surprising for midday.

“Where is everyone?” I asked the nearest dock
worker.

The slave dropped his hemp rope and crossed his
arm over his chest as if I were royalty. “The gods have answered our prayers,
Great Lady. Nesu makes a proclamation at the palace.”

So, Amasis would announce his wife today. My heart
was so heavy, I wished I could pluck it out of my chest and drop it into the
Nile. I was sure it would sink like a stone.

All I lay upon your shoulders you bear
,
my Lady had said.
All and more
.

Well, I did not think I could bear anymore. I was
shaken by the portent of my lost slipper. And though I should be happy for the
Pharaoh’s marriage meant Egypt would hold against the Persians, I found I could
not muster any joy.

I should go to the palace and wish him well. I
should be relieved that the troubles of court would no longer plague me--that I
could slip into the obscurity of my profession and fill my coffers for the days
when Mara and I were old, when I would be fit for nothing but spinning yarn and
tales from my youth. I should return to Naukratis, back to my garden, my
stables, and my life.

I
should
.

But it is not in my nature to do that which I
should.

All I could think of was the rumble of his
laughter, the unfettered joy as we rode in his chariot, and the way his lips
warmed my hand. I buried my face in Kyky’s furry back. He cocked his head and
squeaked at me.

“Take me home,” I said to the litter bearers. No
doubt Mara would be thrilled to pack up and return to Naukratis.

But Mara was not there. The servants reported that
she attended the ceremony at the Temple of Neit. Feeling anxious and a little abandoned,
I read over my household accounts for a few hours and reviewed a few patron
offers while I waited. I tried not to think of what might be happening at the
palace, to not speculate on which woman Amasis chose. Hours passed and I
realized that this was a test of my earlier resolve. I must put this whole mess
out of my mind. He had his Queen. It was time for me to leave Sais, to return
to Naukratis and make my mark as Egypt’s foremost
hetaera
.

Mara returned late in the day, with her hair
arranged artfully. Ladice must have loaned her the use of a servant.

“Dori!” Mara kissed my cheeks. She smelled of
myrrh. “I’m so glad you are back. I have so much to tell you.”

“Do you?” I directed a servant to unpack my
satchel and another to draw me a bath. I dreaded hearing who Amasis had
selected. “Mara, I’m tired. Perhaps we can discuss this later?”

“But, you’ll never guess what has happened. Someone
tried to kill the Pharaoh!”

I froze. “What did you say?”

“Amasis went lion hunting with some of the other
nobles this morning. I saw them leave; their chariots made such a racket as
they left the palace!”

“You were at the palace, then?” My heart pounded. “Is
Amasis well?”

“Well, yes, Ladice asked me to attend her.” Mara
waved her hand back and forth in the air. “But that is not here nor there. Settle
your heart. He is well, Dori. The attempt did not succeed, nor did they catch
the one responsible.”

“How did it happen? Perhaps it was only an
accident?” Oh, I could not bear to think of him injured.

“They’d cornered a lion out in the dunes,” Mara
said. “Someone miscast a spear and it almost hit Amasis, and not the lion in
front of him.”

My throat grew tight. “Who threw the spear?”

“The spear was unmarked. No one claims to have
seen who threw the spear, not even the chariot drivers, though Neferenatu
ordered them beaten to make them talk.”

“I cannot believe the guards saw nothing.” So many
soldiers, all of them trained to notice small details. Pharaoh himself had
described their training to me. And not one of them saw the culprit? Chill
bumps raised on my flesh.

“So they claim. But Amasis has dismissed them and
selected a new personal guard. I think the proclamation today was arranged to
quell the fears of the people.”

A hard knot formed in my throat. “Ah,” I forced
myself to sound nonchalant. “Who did Amasis name as his Great Wife?”

“He didn’t.” Mara’s gaze darted to a plate of
dried fish. She snatched one up and took a bite. “How was Delphi?”

“It was fine. What do you mean, he didn’t?” Delphi
was
not
fine, but I was too concerned with her news to elaborate.

Mara shrugged. “He said something about the sun
god Ra and Horus…you know I don’t understand Egyptian all that well.”

“Ladice has interpreters. What did he say, Mara?” I
stared at her.

Mara’s hand dropped from her mouth. She set the
fish aside. “If you must know, he never announced his choice.”

“Why not?” I sat down, stunned.

“He sat on his throne on the central dais. All the
nobility was present. Everyone waited for the moment he would speak the Queen’s
name. As for me, I thought he would choose Ladice. Amasis has visited her often
since you left.”

Did she think to wound me with her words? Was she
still angry, then, that I’d left her behind in Sais? “Why should he not? It is
a wise choice. She is already his wife and a Greek.”

A declaration for the Cyrene Princess would cement
relations between the Greeks and Egypt. I knew Amasis needed Greek support to
fight back the Persian threat of invasion. I knew this.

I
did
.

So, I forced my tone to be even, though my near
sister cut me to the bone with her hasty support of Ladice. It felt almost like
betrayal, though I myself had no claim to him. Still, better he marry a kind
and gentle Egyptian royal, than to raise up an awkward foreign Princess with
little or no interest in Egypt or her people. I tried to picture Ladice
standing behind Amasis on his sun chariot as the wind whipped around them or
passing out resources for the temples to support the indigent and sick. Tried
and failed.

“Why did he not make his intentions clear?” I
asked. “His proclamation would be cause for great joy.”
For some
,
I amended in my head.

“There was a sign from the gods which precluded it.”
Mara fussed with her pleated gown. “Just as he spoke, a great bird sailed over
the dais. It was a falcon, the very symbol of Horus. All present bowed their
heads for its wings were twice the span of a man’s arms, I’m certain! At any
rate, the canopy bearers backed away in fear. The priests called out to their
gods. Then, the falcon swooped down low and dropped something right into
Amasis’ lap.”

“The falcon dropped something?” An image of brown
wings stretched over the glittering Nile flashed before my eyes. My heart
stopped.

“Yes,” Mara stared at me. “It did. Your slipper. Right
into the hands of the Pharaoh.” Her voice was cold with accusation. “It was a
neat trick, Dori. How did you manage it?”

I could not breathe.

“How did I…? I
never
!” The venom in
her voice startled me. Did she think I meant to steal her precious Ladice’s
favor? I’d never set out to do any such thing!

“You did!” Mara retorted. “How else could such a
thing have come to be?”

“I tossed my slipper into the water and the cursed
bird fetched it back again. It flew away. I had no idea that it would drop it
into Amasis’ hands! How could I?”

Mara stared at me for a long moment and I watched
the flame of accusation dwindle and die in her eyes.

“No,” she mumbled. Her shoulders deflated. “I
suppose not even the great Rhodopis could manage such a feat. I’m sorry, Dori. It
might be the will of the gods, but still I worry for you.”

I was so grateful that she believed me that I put
aside her condemnation. “What can it mean?” I whispered, feeling sick. “What
can the gods mean by this?”

Mara shook her head and moved towards the door. “I
don’t know. But Amasis claims the gods have spoken to him. He will marry none
but the woman who fits the slipper.” She paused and looked back at me. “And we
both know that you can never be named Queen of Egypt.”

*** ***

Mara was right.

I can hardly deny that my blood pounded at the
thought of being his wife, queen or not. I could not help but remember the way
we’d laughed the last time we played at
senet
. The way his eyes
sparkled and his face became animated when he discussed his plans to build a
huge monument at Memphis. Any woman would be honored to bed him. But I was no
temple priestess, beloved of the gods. I was not even an Egyptian princess. In
fact, I had no royal ties at all, unless one counted my patrons.

And if my near sister thought I aspired to such
greatness, then surely those who knew me less well would think the same. That
could make my position quite tenuous when the Great Wife was named. So I kept
my remaining rose-gold slipper. I hid it carefully away in my room, where it
burned like a guilty secret. When no one was about, I unwrapped it from the
shabby
peplos
and stroked the finely wrought workmanship.

Here it is. The answer to all my prayers. With
this, I could be queen of this land, his Great Wife. And I would, if only
Amasis wanted me.

I took special care to absent myself from his
presence unless I was summoned, and I did not dance. If any in Sais remembered
the origin of the rose-gold slippers, they did not speak it publicly. So there
was no one to know that Amasis’ proclamation named me as his Great Wife, save
for those of us too heartbroken or frightened to mouth it.

*** ***

The next week a second misfortune struck. I’d just
finished praying at the temple of Neit, and honored the priests with offerings
of oil and amber. As I went to put up my jeweled bracelets, I noted the lock
was open on my cedar chest and the
peplos
with the rose-gold
slipper hidden inside was gone.

I called for Mara. Together, we turned my
household upside down, but the fact remained that my treasure, my only connection
to the greater glory of being Amasis’ wife was stolen away from me. I doubled
the guards in my household, and allowed Mara to hire new concubines to attend
me. She was a comfort to me, my near-sister, and went about her business of
tending me with a patient and kind efficiency. I was nearly inconsolable, for I
felt I’d lost my last ties to Amasis. I sobbed my heart out in her lap, while
she stroked my hair like a child.

The next day I nursed a sore head and a worried
heart. I pushed aside my feelings for Amasis and vowed to accept one or two of
the more interesting invitations. But my heart was not in it and before I knew
it, two weeks went by without my answering any. Two weeks spent in restless
activity--my garden had never looked so fine.