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Authors: Adèle Geras

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‘You’re more interested in your scribblings about tomorrow’s rehearsal than you are in me.’

‘Not at all, darling.’ But he sounded so far away that Claudia knew she was right. ‘I’ll be there in a second. I’ve just got to finish the notations for tomorrow’s scenes.’

She closed her eyes and waited. Like this, it was easy to imagine that someone else – Nick – was going to come and stretch out beside her. She knew that lovemaking was probably the last thing on Hugo’s mind, but she was beginning to feel more and more as though she needed,
had
to. And here he was, Hugo, lying next to her on the counterpane. He stroked her neck and whispered in her ear, sending tremors of pleasure through her body. She would keep her eyes tightly closed …

‘Show me that you love me,’ Claudia whispered, sliding her body under his.

‘You’re making it difficult for me to say no, Claudia. We’d better try to keep it quiet though. We’re all so on top of one another in this house.’

‘I’ll be completely silent. I promise. Oh, Hugo, I want you so much. Please … please.’

She felt his arms around her. He was pulling her closer to him.

‘Claudia,’ he said, and then he was stifling her moans with his kisses. ‘Sssh,’ he said. ‘Sssh, darling.’

‘Oh,’ said Claudia and moved her body in rhythm with his. ‘Oh, Hugo darling, I won’t … I can’t …’

Much later, when they’d retired to their separate beds, Hugo fell asleep at once, but Claudia lay awake for a long time. During their lovemaking, she had found it very easy indeed to forget about Hugo altogether and use her imagination to conjure up Nick
instead. That was bad news, wasn’t it? That was the beginning of the end when you started imagining another lover. What if nothing came of it? She loved Hugo. She did. She’d been happy with him for a long time. Why did that have to change? Maybe it didn’t. Maybe she could have her cake and eat it. But what if Nick wasn’t interested? That wasn’t a thought that would allow her to get to sleep, so Claudia deliberately turned her mind to other things, Nick’s arms, for example, pulling her back against him. The smell of his body as they danced together. She went over the steps of the
pas de deux
in her head. Tomorrow they’d be dancing together. Please, she thought, as sleep overcame her, let me dream about him.

29
December 1986

‘It’s a bloody disaster!’ Hugo sat down heavily on a chair in the rehearsal room and Silver could see he was having to make a huge effort to stop himself from kicking something. At his feet, three large boxes lay open, their contents spilling out on the floor. Silver saw some ragged feathers stuck to a mass of damp chiffon. That was my outfit, she thought. And that Harlequin-type colourful thing must be the Fool’s costume. The props had been badly damaged. Scarlet roses made from some kind of plastic had been snapped off a couple of bushes. Goblets had huge dents in them. Baskets of fruit had been crushed. It was all a hideous mess.

Everyone was standing around, not quite sure what to say. It was clear that Hugo was in such a state that any remark might make him worse instead of better. Claudia stood behind him and Silver could see that she was dying to put a calming hand on his shoulder. At least this would give him something else to worry about and maybe get him off her back a bit. She wasn’t looking forward to being told off for not pulling her weight in front of other members of the company. It was bad enough when they were on their own. She wondered whether to say something comforting about the costumes and decided it was probably safer to shut up. Ilene and Andy had huddled together in a corner
and were whispering to one another. Nick was the first to dare to speak.

‘Surely there’s something we can do? We can get compensation, can’t we? Insurance and so forth?’

‘Fat lot of good insurance’ll be when our costumes and props are ruined. I doubt very much if we can get replacements in time. New Year’s Eve the day after tomorrow and then New Year’s Day and then there’s only a couple of days to the dress rehearsal. These aren’t ordinary costumes out of stock. They’ve been specially made and Molly, the person who made them, is out of the country. I suppose we
could
send someone down to London to get some stuff off the rail at one of the theatre costumiers but it won’t be the same. It won’t be the
Sarabande
I intended.’ He frowned and ran a hand through his hair. ‘I don’t want to depress anyone, but honestly, I don’t know where this leaves our production.’

‘How did it happen?’ Everyone was wondering about this, but only Claudia was brave enough (or foolhardy enough, Silver thought) to ask.

‘I should have thought that was obvious,’ said Hugo, fixing Claudia with a look that would strip paint. ‘Some stupid bugger left these boxes out in the rain at the station or something and everything’s soaked through. Colour’s run on the costumes and they’ve been torn. Look – and many of the props are broken. Not just wet, but stuff snapped in pieces. Disaster. I don’t know what to do.’

Andy said, ‘We ought to unpack everything, oughtn’t we? To see the extent of the damage.’

Hugo sighed. ‘I suppose so.’ He glanced round the room in despair and his gaze fell on Alison who was sitting on a chair in the corner. I know why she’s here, Silver thought. She tries to hide it, poor kid, but it’s clear as clear. She’s got a crush on Nick and she’ll
come to every single rehearsal, just in case she gets a smile out of him or something. Maybe I should put her straight.

Alison put up her hand, as if she were in a classroom.

‘What is it, Alison?’ Hugo sounded irritable.

‘Sorry, Hugo, only I thought that if you asked Ruby, she’d know what to do. About the costumes, I mean.’

He sighed, and then said, more as a way of humouring Alison than because he thought it was a good idea, you could tell, ‘Okay, okay, maybe she can. D’you know where she is?’

‘She’s in the laundry room in the basement, up at the house. Shall I go and fetch her?’

‘Go on then. Meanwhile, the rest of you, let’s get this lot packed away till Ruby gets here and do some actual dancing. At least that can be up to scratch even if nothing else can.’

Alison ran out of the room in search of Ruby, and Andy and Ilene made their way to the space marked out on the floor to represent the Princess’s room. Nick sat down and waved to Silver from the other side of the room and made a rueful face at her.

‘Right,’ said Hugo. ‘When you’re quite ready, Nick – thank you – I’ll concentrate on this. Sorry, Andy and Ilene, this has eaten into your time a bit, but let’s make a start.’ From the tape recorder came the up-tempo, jig-like music that accompanied the Fool’s dances.

‘Right, Andy, sprightly, sprightly. God, you look like a pensioner on sleeping pills. Lively, for Heaven’s sake!’

Silver wondered what would happen if Claudia came and sat next to her. She’d want to chat but Hugo couldn’t bear a background of chattering during rehearsal and, in any case, what would they say to one another? Claudia had hardly spoken to her since
they’d arrived at Wychwood. It would be hard to shut her up without annoying her. How was she supposed to do that? Claudia was, however, too clever to make Hugo crosser than he was already. She signalled Silver with a tilt of her head that clearly said ‘come outside and have a natter’, and left the room. Silver followed her out and found her already settled down in one of the chairs outside the rehearsal room.

‘Come and have a chat,’ she said to Silver. ‘I can’t bear sitting there in silence and watching other people go through their stuff, can you? Plus I reckon Andy and Ilene’ll appreciate being left to themselves, right? It
can
be a bit intimidating to be watched sometimes, don’t you think?’

‘Yes, I suppose so,’ Silver smiled. What Claudia meant was
it would put these lesser dancers off to have a prima ballerina like me seeing Hugo directing and correcting them
.

‘Poor Hugo!’ Claudia went on. ‘Those costumes and props mean such a lot to him. He’s
so
taken up with every detail, d’you know what I mean? Actually, I made a point of bringing my own costume with me, so I’ll be wearing what I was supposed to wear all the time. It’s better, I’ve found, to be safe than sorry.’

‘Hmm,’ said Silver. What could she possibly say? She struggled to find something. ‘Ruby used to be Hester Fielding’s dresser, didn’t she? And there are lots of costumes upstairs in Wardrobe. Someone who was here at last year’s Festival told me about it. I expect she’ll find some things we can all wear.’

Claudia smiled at Silver and waved a hand, indicating that all talk of costumes bored her to tears. She leaned forward. ‘Actually, I wanted to ask you about something else. Or someone else, really.’

‘Who’s that?’ What was she after?

‘Nick Neary. Do you know him? I can’t think why our paths have never crossed. He’s very good, isn’t he?’

‘Yes, excellent. What can I tell you about him? He’s okay. I’ve done a couple of things with him.’

‘Is he gay?’

There. That was it.

‘Bi, I think. He’s had boyfriends in the past, that I know for a fact, but then last year he had a thing with Lucy Bradshaw.’

‘Really? You surprise me. Such a skinny, wretched looking creature.’

Silver laughed. ‘It’s not as though the rest of us are plump, though, is it?’

‘No, but you know what I mean …’ Claudia indicated her generous bosom. ‘In certain areas a bit extra is always very welcome.’

She laughed a deliberately sexy sort of laugh.

Pathetic, Silver thought to herself. Can it possibly be that Claudia had her eye on Nick? What about Hugo? She couldn’t surely be planning anything while they were all living so much on top of one another? She said, not bothering to hide the fact that she was changing the subject, ‘Your Alison’s a nice kid.’

‘Oh, she’s fine with other people,’ Claudia said. ‘It’s only when you’re her mother that you get the rough side of her tongue. And her father’s buggered off to the other side of the Atlantic with his fancy woman, so of course I bear the brunt of everything. D’you mind if I ask you something?’

‘Not at all,’ Silver said, and wondered
what now?

‘I read somewhere that you’re going to Paris to dance with French Opera Ballet again next year. Is that right? Amazing for you if it is.’

‘Yes, I’m doing
Swan Lake
with them. In April. Just as a guest, though. I’m not joining the company. But
I’ve got to do
Sellophane in G
for Jacques Bodette first, when this is over.’

‘Oh, I see.’ Claudia rummaged in her huge handbag and Silver could have sworn that she sounded disappointed. Why on earth, she thought, would Claudia care what I do when
Sarabande
is over? Could she be jealous? That’s what it looks like. She knows she’s getting older and she hates it. Does she think that Hugo might replace her with me? Maybe I ought to reassure her and tell her how useless he thinks I am, but why should I? Let her worry. She was so horrid to Alison and a bit of fretting won’t kill her.

*

‘Don’t let it worry you, Hugo,’ said Hester. ‘I know exactly how you feel at this moment, as though the whole ballet is going up in smoke. It’s easy to lose perspective, but do remember it’s the dancing that everyone’s coming to see when it comes right down to it.’

She was sitting on the
chaise-longue
with her shoes kicked off and her legs tucked under her. Siggy was curled up at the other end.

‘I know, I know.’ Hugo took a sip of the sherry that Hester had poured for him. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. What a theatrical gesture, Hester thought, and wondered briefly whether Hugo wouldn’t have made a wonderful dancer. She pulled her attention back to what he was saying.

‘You’re right, of course. I could redesign the whole thing to be minimal and have the whole cast dressed in black leotards and so forth, but the whole point of
Sarabande
is the glorious Bakst-like set and costumes that I had specially designed. The words I used when briefing her were things like “ornate” and “opulent” and “rich”. We need a physical look that matches the
music, which is like – well, you know what it’s like. Luxurious and sweet and, like I said, opulent. We simply won’t get the same effect in black T-shirts.’

Hester laughed. ‘I’m sure you don’t need to be so concerned. Isn’t Ruby going to help sort it out?’

He nodded. ‘Then you’ve nothing to worry about. She’ll repair the damage, I promise you. She’s much, much more than a wardrobe mistress. More like a magician. It’ll be fine. Relax, Hugo, and tell me how the rest of the production is shaping up. How’s Silver doing, for instance?’

‘She’s making a lot more effort, but now I sense a kind of resentment, underneath. Almost as though she’s saying okay, I’ll do it, because he says I must, but I’m sure as hell not doing anything willingly. She looks at me as though she’s a rebellious teenager and I’m trying to dock her pocket money or something. But I’m getting there. I need her to look as though she’s flying. She’ll be wearing wings, of course, which will make a difference.’

‘Those’ll probably slow her down somewhat. Some
entrechats
, and
fouettés en tournant
might be effective.’

‘Yes, that’s a good idea. I have got her doing a great deal of running …
bourrés
galore.’

‘Exhausting!’ said Hester.

‘She’ll manage, I think. The rest of the cast are fine and Nick is outstanding.’

‘I’m so glad.’ Siggy had jumped off the
chaise
and gone to sit on Hugo’s lap. ‘Push him off if he worries you.’

‘Not at all.’ He stroked the cat that was stretched across his legs. ‘I’m greatly honoured that he’s chosen to sit on me.’

Hester closed her eyes for a moment. Hugo said, ‘Are you okay, Hester? I’m not tiring you, am I?’

‘No, no, not at all. I’m just, well, a bit sad, I suppose. Tomorrow, someone I once knew very well is being buried. That’s all.’

‘I’m so sorry. Are you going to the funeral? And here I am going on and on about myself and my trivial problems.’

BOOK: Hester's Story
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