Authors: I.M. Hunter
Heroin Love (8 page)
Our cruise was almost coming to an end, and I still haven't heard from Kevin. I really want to talk to him but if he doesn't care enough to call me I'm not going to call him. My whole cruise was filled with me sobbing in my room drinking my sorrows away. I finally mustered up the energy and willpower to go exploring around the ship. I rummaged through my luggage that was still packed to find a new set of clothes as I was still wearing the clothes I came aboard with. I found my fat jeans that were worn out and stained and threw on a loose fitted t-shirt and some flip flops.
I wanted to find the kids and I knew right where to find Benjamin. That kid was addicted to the casino, he loved those dice. I made a b-line right towards the casino which was located on the middle deck in the center of the ship. Getting closer I start to hear the bells and whistles of the slot machines going off followed by the screams and claps of the old people winning on their penny machines.
‘Woohoo you just won two hundred dollars!’
I stood on the outskirts of the casino boundary trying to find Benjamin without having to fight the traffic of the casino. Trying to look around machines and people passing by in my line of sight I finally spotted him at the end of a craps table rolling the dice.
I walked up behind him and tapped him on his shoulder, "Hey Ben, you having fun?"
He turned around shocked and concerned "Hey Mom, yeah I am. How are you feeling?" He gave me a hug filled with love.
"I'm fine, don't you worry about little ol' momma." I tried to change the subject "Your doing really well it looks like," I pointed down towards his chips that where racked on the side of the table.
"Yeah...not really I needed to call" He hesitated for a second "It doesn't matter I am about even now though, so yea it's all good."
"Who did you need to call?" I inquired.
"I didn't call anyone, I just can't think straight. I have been here all day." He deflected while looking away and the people passing by.
"Ben, I'm your mother I know when your lying. Did you call your father?" I asked with anticipation.
He just stood there, staring at me with sadness. His eyes started to water up as if he was going to cry. I was confused by his response, even if he did talk to his Dad it wouldn't bother me.
"Yeah I talked to him. I got wiped out and needed some more money in my account." He confessed while fighting back his tears. "He said he was sorry, there are a lot of problems at work and he couldn't get away."
I deflected with a question "Where is everyone else?"
"Amber is in the daycare, and everyone else is at the pool. Did you not hear what I said?" He prodded for an answer.
"Now don't loose that money too," I joked as I walked away fighting back my tears of disappointment.
"Mom! Mom!" I hear Ben calling me over the chiming of the slots but I didn't look back.
I needed a drink, a real drink. I went to the closest bar which luckily on a cruise ship is about every ten feet. I sat down at the end of the bar in the last seat trying not to be bothered by anyone.
"What are we having today?" The bartender quickly greeted me.
"I need a glass of Cheval Blanc '47." I quickly added, "Make it a bottle." As I sat impatiently waiting for my drink to come I couldn't help to notice all of the happy cruise goers. The young couples sitting at the bar laughing and drinking. The women kissing and hugging their men in joy. What happen to us? How did we grow so far apart? Kevin just wasn't the same anymore, he was distant, apathetic, maybe he was going through a mid-life crisis. The happy families racing through the cruise ship to the pool while dropping towels from their haste.
The bartender came by and dropped off a silver wine chiller that housed the bottle of Cheval surrounded by ice and left two glasses. I quickly fixed his mistake.
"I don't need this, no one will be joining me."
"Ah my mistake ma'am," Taking the extra glass away.
I poured myself a glass, and started to gulp it down. I noticed a man sitting towards the other end of the bar by himself staring at me. He got up from his seat and started to make a smooth transition over to me trying to not make it obvious.
"Hey, beautiful. My name is Jonathan. I couldn't help to notice you were drinking alone too. Care if I join you?" Trying to put his moves on me.
"Look John, I am not really in the mood for small talk, I just want to be left alone." I said sharply to get out of the situation.
"Oh come on, you look upset but your on vacation. No one should be sad on vacation." He continued to nudge. "No pressure, sometimes people just need someone to listen."
Puzzled by his insistent manner to hear my problems, I didn't respond.
"Come on, I will listen. I wont laugh." Jonathan continued his aggressive approach.
"Okay okay, I'll entertain you with my problems," I reluctantly agreed. "You want some wine?" I offered him.
"No thanks. That is a little above my class, I'll stick with my beer," he lifted his beer up and cheered toward me then took a sip.
I took a massive swig of wine and started my story "My husband and I have been pretty distant lately. He just goes to work and comes home and sits around with a vacant stare on his face not doing anything. He barely acknowledges that the kids and I exist." I poured myself some more wine starting to feel it take affect.
"He just obsesses over his work, anything past that he doesn't care. We aren't romantic with each other. He barely touches me." Pouring myself yet another glass of wine I can feel the room spinning--I was drunk. "And on top of it all, he ditch all of us on this cruise. Just abandoning us. I have spent this whole cruise in my room crying and depressed." The tears flooded my face, I couldn't keep myself composed anymore. Jonathan took my head and placed it on his chest. Rubbing my back trying to comfort me.
"Mom! Everything alright?" Benjamin asked in a panic. He must have seen my episode from inside the casino.
"No man, she needs to go lay down." Jonathan suggested to Benjamin.
"Okay let's get back to the room." Benjamin pulled me off of Jonathan's chest and off the bar stool. "Thanks," Ben told John as we walked off. "What's wrong Mom?" He asked me while continuing to guide me to the room.
"Nothing honey. I am just having a bad few days." I always wanted to be the strong supportive mother to my kids, I never wanted them to see a weakness. The rest of the trip back to the room was silent. Benjamin laid me down in my bed and turned off the lights.
"Listen Mom, if you ever need to talk about something I am always here for you." He informed me while shutting the door to leave me to wallow in self pity.
I woke up in a panic, sweating while laying on my office floor. How long have I been out? I looked out the windows it was still day time, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and saw over thirty missed calls from Rachael accompanied by ten voicemails. I glanced at the date...oh my god. I have been out for three days. It was Sunday morning my family was coming home today. I checked the voicemails, I never witnessed such an emotional roller coaster.
"You have 10 new messages," the robotic telephone women informed me.
"Hey Kev where are you? I am waiting," she stated seductively
End of message
"Kevin where the fuck are you? I am worried," she screamed in a fit of concern.
End of message
"*Cough* *cough* Kev I really need you to come home," she could barley form a sentence.
End of message
"Whatever I did to you I am sorry, please come home I love you," she said apologetically
End of message
I didn't want to listen to any more messages so I hung up my phone and erased them all. I was concerned for Rachael's well being but I needed to make sure I was home in time to greet my family as they came home. I walked silently over to my office door and cracked the door slightly open. I was listening to see if anyone was in the office working on a Sunday, I didn't want to get spotted.
I heard nothing and continued to sneak out of my own office and building as if I were a fugitive. I raced over to Rachael to check up on her. I ran through the door, looking furiously around every corner calling out for her.
"Rachael.......Rachael.”
I finally reached the bedroom, where she was still sleeping. I pulled the sheets back revealing she and David were sleeping together, this was particularly odd.
Who would sleep with their uncle?
I kneeled down next to the bed, tapping her gently trying to wake her up.
Her eyes stuttered open and once she noticed me she jumped up "Where the hell have you been?" She screamed while hitting me on the chest.
"Shhhhh, it's a long story," I said. "Come on lets go to the living room." As I am pulling her in the living room I hear her start to dry heave behind me. "You sick again?" I asked with disbelief and concern. She nodded in shame. "Hold on hold on. Sit on the couch I will be right back." I ran over to the garage and put my hand behind the air handler expecting there to be a bag there, there wasn't. I rolled my eyes remembering I have been missing in action the last few days. I quickly phone Pete waiting for him to pick up...voicemail. I started to panic, my hands getting clammy, sweat starting to roll down my face. I dialed him again...voicemail. And then I hear the motor of the garage click on and garage start to go up.
I see in my driveway that shitty but relieving '97 Honda Civic.
"Don't you know how to pick up a phone?" I screamed in a condescending manner while approaching his car.
"I was right here bro, chill out. You haven't left me any money and it's been a few so I was just coming to check," he stated curiously.
"Yes, well there was an issue. Did you bring the stuff?" I asked him anxiously while reaching in my pocket for more money.
"Oh you know I did." He popped his truck and threw my order at me. "Next time don't be so rude," he suggested while I handed over the money.
I darted back inside,"Here honey, I got it." proudly waving it in the air as I approached her. I first wanted to give her the necklace I bought for her at Buccellati's. I kneeled down next to her on the couch, "I got this for you." I reached into my pocket and presented her with the open box, as if I were proposing. "I just wanted to let you know that you make me feel alive, you put that spark back in my life. Here is the key to my heart, and I love you." I leaned in to give her a kiss. She reciprocated and smiled while seeming to dismiss the whole situation.
"That's so sweet honey, but I need to get unsick," she insisted the need to shoot up.
I started to prep her dose while explaining to her "My family is coming home today, I will need to go home," I continued while I tied her off, "Don't worry, I will come during the day and some nights. And you could always call me if there is a problem, okay?" Once more she just dismissed what I said. I finished shooting her up and sat down on the couch next to her, waiting for her to pass out.
"Then we better get a good fuck in," Rachael said bluntly.
"What? Why aren't you sleeping? Did I miss? Should I go mix up some more stuff?" I worried.
She let out one of those tantalizing giggles. "It doesn't always knock you out. Sometimes it takes a while, and makes you really....really horny." She jumps on me--straddling me, she pins me down against the back of the couch. She bites my bottom lip hard and pulls on it like a chew toy.
"OW!" I exclaimed with pain.
"Oh shut up. You know you like it." She insisted and began kissing me furiously.
She reaches down to unzip my pants and pulls my dick out. I was already hard, she always hits that sweet spot with me. She slides her panties to the side and slams herself down on me forcing me inside her. Rachael let out a loud echoing moan. She was working her hips in a circular motion on my dick, grasping my neck so hard her nails were digging into my neck. I grabbed her ass checks firmly with my hands squeezing with all my might.
I lifted my hand and smacked her ass with great force causing her to let out another abrupt echoing moan. She leaned in and stared sensually into my eyes. In her alluring distinctive blue eyes I see a reflection of myself as if she was staring into my soul, she was my vixen.
Pushing me down on the couch she initiates jumping up and down on top of me, her breasts gracefully bouncing with every movement. I pinched her nipples with force and pulled on them to inflict some pain.
"Mmm, that was ballsy Kev." She took her hand and gave me a firm smack on the face.
She continued to ride me, closing my eyes enjoying the euphoria -- it just stopped. I feel her fall over onto me, her breast hitting me in the face.
"Rachael?" Confused I pushed her off of me "Rachael are you okay?" She just turned into a lifeless doll. Still breathing I hear her let out a slight snore. The heroin must have hit her like a strike of lightning. "I guess that wasn't too exciting for you," I joked as if she could hear me.
Grabbing a spare blanket out of the linen closet to cover her up. I made a few more preparations before I left making sure I left more money for Pete so he makes the drop. I went back to Rachael checking her pulse making sure she was still alive. I bent down to give her a kiss on her forehead "I love you" I whispered.
I pulled into the driveway of my family's house. As soon as I stepped out of my truck I hear a "Hey!" come from behind me, I turn around and it was Vicky. Vicky was your typical annoying, nosy, suburban neighbor. She could tell you everything that is happening, who is doing what, who's kids failed in school. She always loved giving me the daily updates-- I really don't care what she had to say. She was just annoying.
"I thought you guys went on a trip?" She questioned.
"Megan and the kids did, I missed it. Work got crazy," I explained with an attitude of why are you bothering me.
"Oh. Then who were you here with the other day? It didn't look like Megan," she interrogated me.
My heart started to race banging on my chest like a drum. My hands started to shake as I grew increasingly nervous. My brain scrambled to come up with an excuse "I let me cousin use the house for a few days," that was the best answer I could come up with quickly.
"Oh you and your cousin have the same trucks? That's weird," she pressed for an answer.
Increasingly getting nervous, my emotions soaring I became livid. "Why the fuck is it your business Vicky? Just go the fuck home!" I screamed while giving her an intimidating look. Not wanting to continue this conversation I turned my back and swiftly ran into the house. I glanced at my watch, they were going to be home in a couple of hours.
I started my meticulous cleaning ritual, paying extra attention to the fact another women has been here. I checked drains for hair, waste baskets for feminine products, and even making sure the perfume was aligned correctly on the vanity. I threw our sheets into the washing machine, conditioned the leather couches, and cleaned the chairs at the table making sure to wipe away any foreign scents. Stepping into Megan’s walk-in closet I made sure the shoes where arranged correctly with high heels towards the front, followed by athletic shoes, flip flops towards the back of the closet. I removed the extra hangers from the closet so she couldn't place the missing clothes. As I was taking a final look in the closet I notice something laying on the floor near the corner of the closet shimmering in the light. I bent down to pick it up, it was a heart bracelet with rose gold, yellow gold, and silver hearts creating the form. I never seen this before and assumed it was Rachael’s. I shoved it in my pocket making sure to return it to her.
Just as I finished returning the house to it's museum presentation I hear car doors slam outside. I hustled to the front door to greet everyone as they filed through the door. Wiping the sweat from my face with the collar of shirt to look in a more natural relaxed state. The deadbolt clicks open and the door slowly creeps open. Megan entered the house holding shopping bags from the various ports of call they visited while pulling her suitcases behind her.
"Hey honey, how was the trip?" I greeted her with hesitation. Not even acknowledging me she walked right by me, not even a look. Benjamin came through the door followed by the rest of the troops. "Hey Ben, did you win enough to buy that Porsche you want?" I joked. He looked up at me with a disgusted ashamed face. Everyone else was buried in their phone, headphones in their ears just walking right by me.
Then there was Amber, sweet innocent Amber. "Oh my gosh, Pappy!" She said in excitement while giving me a big bear hug. "I missed you." She started to jump up and down in excitement. "We went on a big boat and there were dolphins and games and and and pools!" Explaining her vacation to me was so cute. Unaware of my disappointing actions she continued, "And we were rocking back and forth like this" Amber began rocking her body back and forth shifting her weight from one foot to another mimicking the rocking of the ship.
"Whoa sounds like you had a lot of fun," I expressed in a uplifting tone. She nodded still swaying like a ship. "Let me go talk to Mimi," giving her a peck on the head.
I nervously walked to our bedroom to confront Megan about our issues. I stood underneath the door frame of the room watching her put her clothes and accessories away.
"Let's talk, I need to talk to you. Please," I pleaded as she continued to ignore me "Megan, please talk to me."
"WHAT KEVIN?!" She screamed in a burst of anger. "What could you possibly want to talk about? The fact you abandoned us on a FAMILY vacation? You promised you would meet us there and never even called? That the kids are upset that you didn't come?" She continued to rattle on, “Or how I spent the entire cruise locked in our room crying over you? The kids wishing you were there, Amber wanting to play with you in the pool?” Her face turning bright red from her incessant yelling.
"The fact that you barely touch me? That we don't have sex? You come home from work and sit there with a vacant stare as if you want to be somewhere else?" The tears started to roll down her face, "Is there someone else? Do you want to go be with her?" She stopped to catch her breath,"Anything to say?" She stood in the center of the room staring at me waiting for a response. I didn't know what to say, I didn't want to lie. Megan smacked her thigh several times "Heeeelllllllllooooo?!?!?" Still staring at me.
"I'm just having a lot of issues that I am trying to sort out. There are some problems at work, I am just having a rough time," I started to confess. "And you know, nobody around here really appreciates what I do for them. The kids don't even acknowledge that I exist, it is like pulling teeth to talk to them. You leave me every night after dinner and I don't see you the rest of the night. You didn't even acknowledge my birthday, you blew me off to get your fucking hair done," I continued to try and turn the tables to avoid the 'is there someone else' conversation.
"No one notices how hard I work to get everything that you have. The cars, houses, jewelry, and everything else. I hope you enjoyed that fucking suite I put you in. I don't see anyone complaining about that," I mocked. "Your just so selfish, the only thing you care about is how much money you can spend and what new purse you want to buy. I really can't fucking believe that I am the bad guy here for working while everyone went on a fucking cruise," I continued to deter the conversation.
She stood there in disbelief. "Typical. You just shift the conversation onto yourself. You need to figure out what really matters Kevin." She stormed off into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.
I approached the bathroom door speaking loudly enough so she could hear me, "That's typical of you. I express myself and you storm off. Whatever I'm leaving."
She quickly opened the bathroom door "You're leaving? We haven't see you in a week and your.." Interrupted by my phone dinging to notify me that I received a text message. "And who the fuck could that be? Let me see," She demanded.