Here We Lie (26 page)

The officer frowns. ‘Are you afraid for your safety, Emily? Because if you are, we can—’

‘No.’ I stand up. I can’t believe Jed will hurt me. And I have to face him at some point. ‘So you’ll definitely investigate?’

The officer bristles slightly. ‘As I said, we will look into everything you’ve told us.’

‘Right,’ I repeat, standing up. I follow the officer out of the room, along the corridor then back out past the duty sergeant’s desk into the waiting room. My heart is thumping
so hard I can only just hear the squeak of the officer’s rubber soles on the linoleum floor. Any second I will have to face Jed. I cannot imagine how furious he will be. The room is crowded
now. I glance around. Where is he?

‘Emily?’

There.
Jed is standing beside an empty seat. Lish is next to him. I gasp in horror. What is Lish doing here? The boy doesn’t meet my eyes. He is looking at his dad who is looking at
me: face drawn and exhausted, expression utterly miserable.

‘Jed.’ I am frozen to the spot. The officer has melted away. Lish moves out of my sight as Jed strides towards me.

‘Oh, baby.’ He lets out a strangled sob as he reaches me. There are tears in his eyes. ‘Oh, baby, what have you done?’

‘What are you doing here?’ I can barely get the words out as Jed pulls me into a hug. I disentangle myself. ‘How did you know I was here?’

‘Your phone.’ Jed points to my handbag. ‘I switched your Apple ID to mine the other day after you told me . . . what you’d been doing . . . so I could see where you
were.’

My mouth gapes. ‘You’ve been
spying
on me?’

‘No.’ Jed looks horrified. ‘Of course not, baby, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.’

‘By
stalking
me?’ I can’t believe it.

‘No, not at all. It’s just you’ve been acting so weird, making all these claims against Lish.’

‘They’re
true
.’ My breath catches in my throat. I can’t believe Jed has actually gone into my phone and changed the settings. I glance around the room. No one is
paying us any attention. All eyes are on an argument which has broken out across the waiting room. There is no sign of Lish.

‘Where did Lish go?’ I demand. ‘Why is he here?’

‘When I saw where you were, I called him,’ Jed says, his voice tight with emotion. ‘He agrees that making a statement is the best way to deal with false accusations, so
he’s here to do just that.’

I shake my head. ‘I’m so sorry, Jed, but they’re
not
false accusations. He’s involved in drug dealing, using potassium cyanide . . . my attack in the tube
yesterday.’

‘Lish has an alibi for yesterday morning,’ Jed interrupts. ‘He was in a lecture, there were lots of witnesses. He was
miles
away in Southampton.’

‘Then I was pushed by someone he’s working with . . .’

‘Please.’ Jed bats this away. ‘Lish says he’s happy for the police to search his flat and he assures me they will find
nothing
there, no drugs, nothing
suspicious.’

I’m sure this at least is true. After all, I searched his room myself and only found Zoe’s letter.

Zoe. I suddenly remember yesterday’s visit. ‘You told Zoe everything – you went and told her what I was saying, you said you’d been down to Lish’s university
and—’

‘I
have
been there. And of course I told Zoe.’ Jed frowns. ‘She’s his mother.’ He moves closer. ‘
Please
, baby, my son is
not
a drug
dealer. Dan Thackeray has fabricated the whole story.’

‘Dan
gave
me the fake Valium Lish sold him. I
saw
Lish’s notebook.’

‘Dan made those things up.’ Jed takes my hand.

‘No.’ I pull it away. ‘He recorded the meeting, he told me all about it.’

‘He made it up,’ Jed repeats. ‘Think about it. Did you actually
hear
a recording?’

‘No,’ I admit. ‘But that’s because Dan destroyed it as . . . as a way of proving he wasn’t going to use the story.’

‘How convenient,’ Jed sneers.

‘I was still
attacked
yesterday, Jed.’

‘I know, baby, and I’m so sorry that happened to you, but whoever did it must have been a common-or-garden mugger, probably just after your cash. Then they took the Valium too,
because it was there. You said yourself the bruise on your arm was from where someone tried to save you. I understand it was upsetting, but I doubt if it was attempted murder. And it certainly
didn’t have anything to do with my son.’

My head spins. He’s wrong. I
know
he is wrong.

‘Please come home with me.’ Jed’s voice cracks. ‘If you don’t love me any more then that’s one thing, but if all this . . .’ He waves his hand to
indicate the police station. ‘If being here is just because Dan Thackeray has filled your head with lies, then I’m not letting you go. I’m not letting the fucker win that
easily.’

‘Win?’ A dull weight settles in my guts. ‘Win what? I told you, Dan agreed to drop the story about you. He’s just trying to help me.’

‘Help himself, you mean.’ Jed says. ‘Dan Thackeray isn’t doing all this to get a story on me. That’s what I thought at first, but it isn’t true, at least not
any more. I’ve talked to your sister and she helped me see it. Dan Thackeray has made up all this stuff about Lish to get
you
.’

I stare at him, shocked that he has been speaking to Rose now, as well as Zoe. For a moment I waver. Could it really be true that Dan has made everything up to get me back? I think about our
kiss and the look of longing in Dan’s eyes. He has feelings for me, that’s true, but he wouldn’t fabricate an entire narrative about Lish just to prise me away from Jed. Apart
from anything else, it’s not Dan’s style to be so calculating where his emotions are concerned.

Jed clenches his fists. ‘Dan Thackeray is a first-class bastard. Rose filled me in on some of the details from your past: how he messed you around when you were younger. If I see him
I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop myself from hitting him. Not this time.’ He pulls me towards him. ‘Please come home, baby. I’ve taken the rest of the week off.
I’m sorry, I know this is partly my fault. I’ve been distracted with the court case against Benecke Tricorp, preoccupied since losing Dee Dee.’ His hand is strong and heavy on my
arm. ‘Please, I can’t lose you too.’

I hesitate. Dan is still inside the station, talking to the police. I want to speak to him, to find out what he’s said, what they’ve told him. But I also don’t want Jed to
carry out his threat. Better they don’t meet right now. So I let Jed lead me out of the police station. I can call Dan later.

Our drive home is silent. Jed glances at me occasionally and there is such pain in his expression I can’t meet his gaze.

‘Oh, shit,’ Jed says as we turn the corner into our road.

I look up. Zoe is standing outside the house, her arms folded. As Jed parks she starts pacing along the pavement towards us. Jed gives a weary sigh.

‘Go in the house,’ he says. ‘I’ll deal with her.’

As I get out Zoe lets rip. ‘How could you do this, you whore?’ she snarls, racing over in vertiginous heels. I hurry past her, taking in a flash of the apple green skirt poking out
under the pink coat. ‘You fucking cruel, stupid bitch.’

I keep going, head down. I can hear Jed behind us, ordering Zoe to stop, but Zoe stays beside me, her heels clacking against the pavement. ‘I
told
you it was
me
who sent you
that text,’ she hisses under her breath. ‘I totally humiliated myself so that you would fucking back off, and instead you’ve made things even worse.’

I reach the front door and turn to face her. Zoe’s eyes blaze, her mouth tight, everything tensed. Lines crease at her temples but her forehead is weirdly smooth. Definitely Botox then. I
swallow the thought down.

‘I told the
truth
,’ I say quietly. ‘I told the police what I honestly believe.’

Zoe stares at me. Before she can speak again, I hurry inside and shut the door. Outside I can hear her yelling at Jed now, his own voice taut with frustration as he tries to make her leave. As I
slip off my jacket and hang it on the back of a kitchen chair my phone rings. The number is withheld. It could easily be Dan, calling from a landline at the police station. I take the call.

‘Is that the little bird?’ The voice is disguised, mechanical, but I’m certain it’s male; the low growl is full of menace. ‘The little bird who’s been
talking?’

I freeze, my hand resting on the kitchen table. ‘Who is this?’

The line goes dead. I stare down at the phone. Was that Lish? His drug-dealing contact? I must know the caller. Why else would they disguise their voice? The front door opens and shuts behind
me. A second later Jed stomps into the kitchen.

‘Bloody woman,’ he mutters. ‘I was fucking dealing with it.’

I turn around to face him, barely registering that he is talking about Zoe.

‘Someone just called me, they
threatened
me, Jed. At least . . .’

‘Stop it,’ he snaps. ‘Seriously, enough with the melodramatics.’

‘Jed, I’m not making this up.’ I shove my phone under his nose. ‘See? They withheld their number. They said something about a “little bird” who’d been
talking.’

‘And?’

‘What d’you mean, “
and
”? It was a threat.’

‘More likely it’s fucking Thackeray again, setting you up.’

I shake my head. Why can’t he see what’s happening? Why won’t he believe me? I take a deep breath.

‘Jed, sweetheart, I can’t begin to imagine how hard this is, having to deal with me and Zoe and everything you’re hearing about Lish . . . but don’t you want justice for
Dee Dee? Isn’t her life worth as much as Lish’s freedom?’ I pause. ‘Why are you so determined to believe Lish can’t possibly have been drug dealing?’

Jed’s mouth trembles, just a fraction. ‘I admit that my starting point may be a bit biased about Lish, but I’ve seen absolutely no proof that he’s done anything wrong.
Anyway, can you not see that you’re ten times more blinkered about Dan Thackeray?’

‘This isn’t about Dan,’ I insist. ‘It’s about your son. If Lish
is
mixed up in something bad, which I’m sure he is and that phone call I just had
proves
it, then don’t you
want
to do something to stop that? Don’t you
want
to help him?’

Jed’s eyes fill with anger. ‘Don’t talk to me about my children,’ he snaps. ‘You don’t know anything about what I want for my children.’

I feel like he’s just slapped my face. My phone rings again, blasting into the tense silence. I glance down at the screen. It’s Dan. I rush past Jed and up to our bedroom, answering
only when the door is closed.

‘Hi.’ I sit heavily on the bed, letting what happened downstairs sink in. Jed doesn’t believe me, isn’t ever going to believe me.

‘Em?’ Dan’s voice is full of concern. ‘Where are you? I just got out of the police station and you’d gone.’

‘Jed turned up.’ I’m struggling to stop my voice from shaking. ‘He was angry, I didn’t want him to see you so it was easier to leave.’

‘Right.’ There’s a pause. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Yes but . . . but Jed says Lish has an alibi for when I was attacked on the tube and the police won’t find anything at his flat and all the drugs and the notebook are gone so
there’s no proof so . . .’

‘I know. And his dad is a top lawyer, et cetera, et cetera . . .’ Dan’s voice is bitter. There’s another long pause. ‘Are you really okay? With Jed, I
mean?’

‘I don’t know,’ I admit. ‘He doesn’t believe his son is guilty, but he loves me. And . . . and I love him.’

Despite the fact that he stalked me using my own phone.

‘Okay.’ Dan sucks in his breath. ‘Listen,
I’m
not going to stop investigating, because what Lish Kennedy is doing is wrong and we both know it’s linked to
Dee Dee’s death, but I’m not going to involve you any more. If you want to stay with Jed, you can’t pursue his son.’

‘But Dan, wait. Someone just called me. A man. He was threatening us.’

‘All the more reason for you to stop being involved.’ Dan sighs. ‘So you won’t get hurt.’

‘I don’t want
you
to get hurt either.’

‘But you
do
want justice for Dee Dee,’ he counters. ‘And I’m going to help get it.’

I don’t know what to say. I lie back on the bed.

‘I think it’s safest if I don’t contact you for now,’ Dan says carefully. ‘But I will when I’ve got something . . . if you want me to.’

We say goodbye and ring off. I close my eyes, feeling lonelier than I can ever remember being in my life.

A long, miserable week passes. Jed reluctantly removes his Apple ID from my phone and I reset it with my own details. We speak mostly of meals and TV programmes, avoiding the
topics of Lish and weddings altogether. I call the police to find out what’s happening. It takes ages to get through to anyone who knows anything. Finally I speak to a liaison officer who
tells me that, as Jed predicted, the police have been unable to unearth anyone on Lish’s campus who is prepared to link him to any drug dealing. Though the officer doesn’t say so
directly, I can see the investigation is running out of steam already. It’s a deeply depressing thought.

Christmas Day dawns crisp and sunny. Lish will not be visiting, though Jed plans to slip out later and see him at his mother’s house. The more time passes, the worse I feel: guilty to have
caused Jed so much pain, of course, but also angry that he has not believed me. I’m fearful for Dan too. I’ve checked in a couple of times, just brief texts, to make sure he’s
okay. His replies are equally short, though he always asks how I’m doing. I feel as if I’m living with half the breath permanently squeezed out of my lungs. I have no appetite, no
interest in anything. Sometimes I wake in the night and the mechanically disguised voice from the day I went to the police echoes in my ear:
the little bird who’s been talking
.

How can Jed so wilfully ignore such a warning? How can he persist in thinking that Dan could terrorize me by setting up such a phone call? I am furious with Rose for reinforcing his suspicions
about Dan with her own prejudices, ignoring her calls for a couple of days then having a huge row over the phone.