Here & Now (15 page)

As soon as Sarah is gone, Caddy steps forward, reaching out and taking my hand in her own and just as I’m about to grip onto her a little tighter to pull her close, she raises it and slaps me across the face.

The girl just hit me with my own hand.

Unbelievable.

“What was that for?”

“For thinking you could do something so incredibly selfless and not tell me about it.”

Wait, what?

“You’re pissed at me because I didn’t tell you? Not because I did it?”

Instead of answering me the way I expect her to, she moves in closer until she’s stroking her own hand over the place where she had mine slap, her arms coming around until she’s full on hugging me.

“I’m so angry I could claw your eyes out, but it’s not because you paid for everything. It’s why you did it.”

“And why do you think I did it?”

“Because I’m a charity case.”

Nope, No way. Not fucking happening.

The sad look in her eyes, the hurt I saw there earlier, it’s all crystal clear now, but she couldn’t be more wrong if she tried.

Pulling away, slipping my own arms around hers and pulling them off me, I gently push her back until she’s got a full view of my eyes, along with my lips because what I’m about to say next, I want to make damn sure she sees until a few weeks from now when I repeat myself and make her hear it.

“You’re not a charity case or a bill I need to pay. You’re
my world
, Caddy. I did it because I wanted to help make my world better.”

Cadence

I’m pretty sure when the surgeon was poking around in my head, he hit a nerve or something. There’s just no way time can move this fast.

From the time I got released, my days spent back in school and my nights jumping from dates with my boyfriend to appointments with my doctor and another visit with Pam, it’s like I’ve been spinning around in the core of a tornado the whole time and am just now hitting solid ground.

I’m completely drained and as soon as my head hits my pillow Friday night, I’m more than willing to lose track of another week while I just lay there and sleep it away. It’s too bad that my friends seem to have other plans.

Since Dillon and Kayden came back from the city, getting a chance to hang out with Belle the way we used to has been tough. So when she shows up at my door, it’s the last thing I’m expecting. It’s even more shocking by who she’s brought along with her.

Amelia Evans.

Another one of what I like to call the Wexfield Three. A name that when I first used it around Dillon confused him, but once it was explained, made him laugh with how fitting it was.

Things were so different a year ago. Amelia and I up until the point where I landed at her school had never said two words to each other. There was no reason to with me in another school and her being one of the worst bullies around. After her and Dillon broke up and we got together though, things started to change and we began interacting a whole lot more.

A lot of that has to do with Eric Carmen. If it wasn’t for him, I can’t say for sure Amy and I would be talking or even smiling at each other at all.

She was the worst kind of bully and after launching her attacks on Belle, she tried to do the same thing to me. It didn’t work, which at the time just made her lash out more and it took being kicked out school completely and meeting Eric in a bully free zone for everything to change.

What started with Kayden and continued with Dillon, finally ended with her. Three people that just needed the nudge from someone outside their circle—someone they could count on—to do what they couldn’t on their own.

Change.

“Please tell me you don’t have anything going on tonight.” Belle asks the minute the door is pushed open and they’ve made their way inside.

“I have a date with sleep.”

Amelia, who has been silent since they rang the bell and I answered, flashes me a knowing smile, and it doesn’t take her long to get to the point.

“Dillon been keeping you up all night?”

This; talking about Dillon with his ex, should be weird or at the very least awkward, but it’s not. With the way both of them explained things to me, they weren’t really close when they dated anyway, Dillon using her as a means to an end and her allowing it because it beat dealing with her own issues, so with the way I feel about him and the way I know she feels about Eric always there in the front of my mind, there’s no awkwardness at all.

Her question isn’t a loaded one, it’s just a question. One meant to be a joke, but that’s definitely hitting its mark with the truth in it. Something I’m not itching to share with these two even if they are my two closest friends.

“None of your business.”

Laughing, Belle makes herself at home and saunters into the living room, sliding into what she deemed her favorite chair in the house—my mom’s rocking chair—and waiting patiently for the both of us to follow her lead.

Before I can make my way in after her, Amelia reaches out and slides her fingers around my wrist.

“Don’t worry. We’ve all been there. It was the same way with Eric.”

I’m not much of a gossip and I definitely don’t like getting into anyone’s business, but with everything that they went through last year, I’ve gotta admit that I thought her and Eric would never be able to act the way Dillon and I do. If it had happened to me, I’m not sure I could either.

Sliding her hand off my wrist, but not away completely, she grips my hand and does the same thing as Belle. Picks a spot and makes herself comfortable, her eyes looking to Belle once we’re all in and seated, obviously waiting for her to explain exactly what it is they’re doing here.

“Why did you want to know what I was doing tonight?”

“Kay and Dill are watching some game at home and the noise from them yelling at the television was driving me crazy, so I called Amelia. I found out that with Eric out of town this weekend with his family, she’s on her own and in need of some fun, so we thought we’d see if you wanted to do something with us.”

“What did you have in mind?”

Amelia grins, but it’s not like her usual ones. This is playful. Whatever it is she’s got in mind for us to do tonight, it’s definitely not something my mom’s going to be pleased about.

“I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do, but first, I’ve got something for you.” She says, sliding her hand into her pocket, grabbing what she’s after and sliding it over to me.

A plastic card, kind of like my library card in that it’s colorful, but one that’s got my picture and all of my information on it.  She’s giving me an ID card. The only difference between this one and the one I already have in my wallet upstairs being that my birthday is apparently five years before I was born.

“A fake ID?”

“Yeah. If we’re going out tonight, you’re gonna need it.”

Turning my attention away from her just long enough to shoot Belle a look, my friend leans forward in the rocking chair and grins.

“When’s the last time you went out and did something fun?”

Considering how the date night with Dillon went, I want to speak up and say then, but there’s something about the way they’re both looking at me that tells me it’s not quite what they’re getting at. The last time I went out alone and did anything fun, well, let’s just say it’s been awhile.

My idea of fun is usually just staying in my room watching movies.

“Awhile I guess, why?”

“Amelia thought that with Eric out of town and Kay and Dillon wrapped up in the only other thing that matters to them besides us, we could do something different.”

“Are you gonna tell me what that is or just keep being evasive?”

“We want to go to a bar.”

No way.
I can’t believe Belle is sitting here suggesting that I do this. She knows my mom almost as well as I do. There’s no way she’s gonna let any of us out the door if she gets even the slightest hint that we’re going to a bar.

Who is this girl and what did she do with the timid girl I met last year?

“You know I can’t do that and even if I wanted to, I don’t drink.”

“Well, we don’t either.” Belle agrees. “We’d be going there for a different reason.”

“Which is?”

“Karaoke and dancing.”

This idea just gets crazier by the second. First she wants us to go to a bar, but once we’re there, we’re gonna sip water and sing? Is this even happening right now or is this another instance where the surgeon may have hit something when they were working on my head and now I’m moving around in some twisted reality?

“I don’t sing.”

“You don’t have too. I want to do it and so does Amelia.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to keep pushing myself to do things and go places I never have before. I just don’t want to do it alone, which is where you come in.”

“What about me? I’m the one that suggested it.” Amelia says and Belle just laughs in response.

“Yeah you did, but you’re also used to going out and doing this kind of stuff. Caddy and me, we aren’t.”

She’s right about that. Belle and I are a lot alike and it’s got nothing to do with her autism and my disability. It’s just because our idea of a good time has always been something more home based and taking the step out from that is harder than it seems. I’m dealing with the looks and reactions I’ll get when I speak or even when people realize I don’t hear and she’s worried that the sensory stimulation will be too much and she’s going to end up embarrassing herself.

“Even if I wanted to help, you know what my mom is like.”

“I do,” she agrees. “Which is why I took care of it already.”

This I’ve gotta hear.

“How?”

“It’s been a little while since I’ve seen her, so I popped by the school before coming over here. I remember from last year that she’s always working late, so I took a chance and it paid off. As long as you get upstairs and get ready quick, we can be out of here before we have to explain anything.”

I’m not sure how I feel about this. The last time I went against my mom was the night Dillon and I stayed at the hotel, and the look she had that day, the way she treated me for a few days afterward was enough to make me not want to do it again.

If I do what they’re suggesting now, I get the feeling it’s going to come back to haunt me again and this time, she won’t be as forgiving.

“What did you tell her we were going to do?”

“I told her the truth, about the karaoke anyway. I didn’t mention the bar.”

“I don’t understand.” I admit, trying to piece together in my head how she could let part of the truth out without tipping my mom off to the rest of it. “Where does she think this is happening?”

“My house.”

“Look—” Amelia interrupts. “You know that deep down you want to do this with us because it beats being upstairs all night missing your boyfriend.”

With how easily she pinpoints the way my night would have gone, it makes me start to believe she’s psychic.

“Going to school in the city, having to go back in two days and completely unable to get back down here to see Eric for at least another two weeks, I know all about pining away in your room. I wish that I could be out with him right now, but since I can’t, this is the next best thing. Say yes, Caddy. It’ll be fun.”

“And you’re okay with this?” I turn and ask Belle and when she nods, it looks like my plans are set. Amelia’s right. I would have spent the night wishing I was with Dillon and eventually passing out after putting myself to sleep reading, which isn’t much of a night at all. At least if I go out with them, I’ll be able to have some fun, even if it is a different kind of fun then I’m used to.

I just hope that when my boyfriend gets wind of what we’re doing, he doesn’t lose his mind. Somehow I don’t see Dillon being all that happy about me going to a bar when I could have easily just made my way over to the house and been there with him.

“Okay. I’m in.”

Dillon

Belle and Amelia stopped by. We’re gonna have a girls night. Enjoy the game!

The idea of the girls all getting together and having a night to themselves makes hanging out with Kayden watching the Tampa Bay/Atlanta game a little easier to take. It’s also a reminder of what a lucky bastard I am.

I’m dating a girl that instead of riding me about spending as much time as possible with her, pulling me away from my friends and doing what I love, is content doing her own thing, trusting me in the process. Where my time with Amelia had been all about making sure she knew where I was all the time, it’s the complete opposite with Cadence.

The real difference between them is that with Amelia everything felt like a chore and I was pulling away from it long before we ended up breaking up, but with Cadence, the separation just makes me wanna say screw it to the game and go hang out with her instead.

I genuinely want to be where she is every second, if she’d let me.

Yeah, I’ve got it bad. I think I might be addicted to my girlfriend. As it turns out though, if addiction to a girl is my problem, I’m surrounded by the best company. Kayden’s the only guy I know that might just have it worse than me.

“You know anything about this?” I ask, shooting my phone over to Kayden and watching as he reads over the text.

“Yeah. Belle told me earlier she wanted to hang out with Caddy tonight.”

“She really hates when you watch the game, huh?”

“Hate isn’t a strong enough word for it.”

“Any idea what they’re doing?”

His eyes lower to the phone before lifting again as he hands it back over, a few seconds passing before he nods and turns back to the television.

“What are they doing?”

“Don’t blow a fucking gasket.” He warns before rubbing his hand over his face and releasing a sigh.

If Kayden is warning me not to lose it after the way he lost it a few months ago and the way his anger flares up over the stupidest shit, then I’m not sure I wanna know what my girlfriend and her friends are up to.  We’re pretty damn similar when it comes to shit that sets us off, so him warning me means he wasn’t a big fan of it either.

“Just tell me.”

“Amelia talked Belle into going to a bar.”

“She did what?”

Kayden dated Amelia the same as I did. We know how she used to deal with the shit going on her life. If she wasn’t fucking with people at school, she was taking off and getting drunk in various bars and clubs over town. She had some serious fucking issues and with as many times as I picked her up from these places, never once caring enough to ask her what was really going on, them going to a bar tonight rubs me the wrong way.