Her Wedding Wish (8 page)

He was afraid he would never remember, too.

“He’s looking good.” Marin stopped in the aisle as they passed. “Isn’t God great?”

“Very.”

Marin’s words seemed to follow her the few short yards to the end of the pew where Jonas waited for her. The anxious look on his face eased when she slid onto the bench beside him. She was hardly aware of Spence scooting in on her other side, because Jonas took her hand in his and held on tightly. Relief eased his tense shoulders. Her hopes fluttered when he fit his fingers between hers, just as he always used to do.

“Our wedding was like this.” He leaned close to whisper in her ear, just as he used to do, too. Making it somehow feel as if they were all alone. “With our family and friends. I can see what the pictures didn’t show.”

“What?” She was hardly aware of the music changing or the rustling of the full church turning to watch the central aisle. To her, there was only Jonas.

“All the happiness in the air. How happy everyone must have been for us. How happy I must have been.” His gaze was tender as he spoke. “You were beautiful in those pictures. I think maybe more beautiful than the pictures could show. Just like you are now. No picture could be as good as seeing you with my own eyes.”

She was no beauty; she knew that. But to hear that her husband thought her so made her throat ache with more emotion than she could measure.

“Look. Maddy.” Jonas seemed so proud as he gazed on his daughter, who was a vision in silk and lace, joyfully tossing handfuls of white roses into the air, and then stopping to watch them fall like grace. With a grin on her button face and pleased that she had everyone’s attention in the room, she waltzed a few steps forward and repeated the process. Adoring comments floated through the sanctuary.

“That’s our little girl,” Jonas whispered to her. “Ours.”

She heard what he didn’t say. She felt it with every fiber of her being. Their marriage, their kids, their family. All had been built on the rock of their love.

She felt a touch at her other elbow. Spence leaned close. “I see someone who just came in. She’s in the back.”

He was gone, his ominous tone making her worry just a little. Who was this woman? She barely had time to glance over her shoulder; Spence was speaking with someone quietly, blocking her view.

Since Madison was almost out of flowers and nearly at the altar, Danielle regretfully withdrew her hand from her husband’s. With his smile in her heart, she went around to sweep Madison into her arms and out of the way of the coming bridesmaids and Tyler, carrying the ring pillow. Looking so handsome, he grinned at her. And resembled his father so very much.

God is great;
she knew that of course, but Marin’s words had nudged her in a direction she had been already heading anyway.

With her daughter on her hip, she carried Madison past Gran, who waved; past Mom, who blew two kisses, one for each of her girls; past Katherine’s and Ava’s husbands, who both winked at the little princess. Madison preened sweetly the entire way.

When Danielle slid into place next to her husband, he reached for their daughter and took her onto his knee. Over the top of Madison’s frothy curls and gleaming tiara, there was no mistaking the joy in his eyes.

Maybe he was coming to the same conclusions, too. God had graciously answered her prayers. The good Lord had brought Jonas back to her; maybe not whole as he was. Maybe not the same man he was, but he was here. She had her husband. The children had their father. It was time to let go of her own wants and wishes. She wanted Jonas, her best friend and soul mate back.

Maybe it was time to accept that it might not happen, just as the doctors had said.

The past was gone, whether Jonas remembered it or not. It was behind them. It could never be resurrected. And if his memories of their past never returned, that did not change the course of their lives, of their family, of their commitment to one another. As long as Jonas was here, unwavering in his promises, that was what mattered. Now mattered. This day, this hour, this moment.

She would have to let go of the rest and be grateful, so infinitely grateful, for what they did have.

When Aubrey appeared at the top of the aisle, Danielle scooped Madison into her arms and stood, holding out her hand to help Jonas. But he did not accept her help. He struggled to stand, gallantly and without his cane, and when he was on his feet and steady, only then did he take her hand. His touch was steadfast and rock solid, making her love him even more.

The reception at Gran’s country house was for family only. There had been a larger one after the service at the church in town, for their church family and friends. So it was late, nearly twilight, by the time Danielle did her share of cleanup in the kitchen and went in search of her husband.

Spence, who had promised to stay close to him, had told her Jonas had wanted to sit on the front porch. Mom, who always had the best instincts, decided at that moment to take charge of Madison, who was yawning and getting a little cranky. She’d also promised to keep an eye on Tyler, who was inseparable from Ava and Brice’s golden retriever.

As she followed the wraparound porch along the side to the front of the house, she caught sight of Katherine and her stepdaughter, Hayden, doing the last of the hand washables at the kitchen sink. She breathed in the scent of the first bloom of roses clinging to the rails, and realized she was at peace. The worries and hurt that had plagued her had slid away.

No doubt they would be replaced by other ones, since that was the way life always seemed to go, but for now, she felt light as air. Then she turned the corner and saw her husband in the bench swing, staring out at the beautiful mountain range.

“Hey, handsome. Mind if I join you?”

He didn’t startle; he must have heard her coming. “I’ve been saving a place for you.”

“Lucky me.”

“We’re going to have to get Tyler a dog.”

“I know.” It wasn’t the best timing, she thought as she joined her husband, but Tyler had waited long enough. “He’s hung on to poor Rex all evening long. It’s going to break his heart when we leave.”

“Rex’s or Tyler’s?” Jonas teased.

They smiled together. “That’s one of the things I love about you most. Your sense of humor.”

“Not my dashing good looks?”

“I don’t think you’re good-looking, but a girl can’t have everything,” she quipped, barely able to keep from laughing because it was so far from the truth.

That made him laugh, too, deep and rumbling, a sound of warm joy. He shook his head. “I asked for that one.”

“Yes, you did, handsome. Want to tell me why you’re out here all by your lonesome?”

“I’m just a little tired.”

There was more; she knew it by the lines on his face and the silence that settled like the evening between them. “It has to be hard for you being with all these people who know you.”

He looked surprised that she had guessed what he was feeling. “When we’ve gone to church before, we came late, stayed in the back, left with the last hymn still going.”

“Because you had a hard time in a crowd.” She understood what was making the lines of misery on his face, of what seemed to weigh heavily on his shoulders. “No one got the chance to really come up to you and talk to you before, unlike now. Spence said when I was in the back of the church with my sisters, that you had a few people talk to you.”

“More than a few.”

“And you didn’t know who they were.”

He nodded, his mouth worked, and he turned away, staring hard at a red-tailed hawk circling above the neighbor’s far fields. “One was the pastor. I guess she’s friends with us?”

“Yes.”

“And there were more. People I knew from some committee. From a Bible study. From all kinds of things. I couldn’t keep track.” His throat worked, as if he were struggling with his emotions. “There’s a lot I don’t know. I will never know, unless you tell me.”

“I’ll tell you, Jonas. Anything you want to know.”

“Did we have a family party here, too?”

“Yes.”

“And did we head off on our honeymoon in a limousine the way Aubrey and William did?”

“Yes. We went to Hawaii. We stayed on Maui in a posh resort. You splurged for a wonderful trip for us.”

“I did.” He nodded once, as if not at all surprised. “I know why. I wanted to give you a time to remember. Something real nice for my amazing wife.”

“You said something like that to me at the time. It was a surprise, where we were going. You refused to tell me. You had Katherine pack my suitcases, so I didn’t even know if we were heading off to warm weather or cold. You were bursting with the secret, but when we went to board the Hawaii-bound plane, it sort of gave it away.”

“Were you happy?”

“Very. We were there three whole weeks.”

“Were you happy?” he asked.

“Very.”

“Good to know.” He turned toward her and laid his arm along the back of the top rail, not exactly hugging her, but close enough.

Just as he’d done on their second date. Always a gentleman, that was her Jonas. Why hadn’t she realized it before? Was he trying to get to know her again? She leaned back, luxuriating in just being with him. “We went snorkeling, surfing and sightseeing, too. We went on a helicopter ride and on catamarans.”

“You went snorkeling?”

“Yes, don’t look so amused. I know how to swim. We have a pool in our backyard, right?”

“Sure, but you look so…dainty.”

“I have pictures, buster. I’ll show them to you.”

“That’s a promise I’m going to make you keep. I want to see you underwater with fish and crawly creatures.”

“Now, I didn’t say I liked snorkeling, just that I went with you.”

“Did I like snorkeling?” He leaned a little closer to her.

It felt as if they were more than just physically closer. She ached with happiness from being so near to him. “That’s an answer that will have to wait for the pictures.”

“I’ll take you to lunch after my physical therapy appointment on Monday. Is it a d-date?” His voice wobbled on that last word.

Tears scalded the back of her eyes. She swallowed hard, to push them away, but his dear face was a little blurry. “It’s a date, handsome.”

His gaze caressed her face as if seeing her for the first time, as if treasuring every detail. She felt so exposed; this felt so intimate.

Footsteps rang on the porch boards behind them, pounding closer. It was Tyler, coming to find them. The moment was lost, but not the promise.

S
unday had been a wild and woolly one, especially with getting everyone ready and in the van for church. There had been Sunday school and the service, then an impromptu chat in the parking lot with the family, which had stretched into a long discussion of the latest on Aubrey and William. When Tyler couldn’t stand still a moment longer, the family gathering broke up. There had been lunch out at family favorite Mr. Paco’s Tacos, always an adventure with two small children.

Once they reached home, the pace hadn’t slowed down any. While Jonas had gone to their room to take a nap, she’d gotten both kids changed, Madison down for her nap, and got Tyler set up in the backyard with his fireman boots and hat. Even as she sat down at her computer in the spare room in the daylight basement, she kept an eye on her son, who hosed down an imaginary fire in the petunia beds. Somehow, she had to finish last month’s books for the store before it was time to fix dinner. No problem, right?

Wrong. She’d watched the hands of the wall clock tick by for more than an hour, without a lot of progress on the troubled general ledger. Her back hurt from sitting so long in the secondhand chair, and she stretched, turning her attention away from the stack of invoices.

She was rewarded with a view of the backyard, where sunshine spilled through the glass. Tyler, drenched from head to boot toe, was now very diligently spraying the lawn with the garden hose, as if it had only been engulfed with a wildfire moments before.

Get back to work, Danielle, she told herself. She flipped the invoice over and started typing. When she glanced over the top of the monitor, Tyler was nowhere in sight. Expecting him to come back into view any moment, she turned to the next document and typed away.

Still no Tyler. But those were his footsteps pounding down the hallway.

“Mom! Hey, Mom! Did you see me put out that fire? Grass fires are the hardest. They can burn for miles and miles in the wild.”

“I’ve heard that, tiger.” Since he’d been the one to tell her. She stopped typing. Seeing him burst into the room, dripping and happy and with all his little-boy energy, simply filled her with endless love.

He clutched a handful of wild pink roses and held them out to her, along with a piece of paper. “Here. Dad said I had to give this to you, too, but it’s kinda wet.”

Wet was an understatement. She took the fragrant, delicate blossoms and the slip of paper he held out to her. “Thank you, baby.”

A devoted fireman headed back to the front line, he was already gone, calling out, “Bye,” his boots echoing down the hallway.

Roses. Jonas had remembered. The floral scent tickled her nose and her memories, brought her back to standing on the bridge with her husband in the hopeful light of sunset.

Since the small piece of paper was folded in two, she brushed it open. There was a message, in strange, wobbly handwriting.
Looking forward to our date.

Jonas.

She knew he was there before the pad of his gait on the carpeted entrance, before the faint clink of his cane, and before she refolded the paper to see him watching her with a question. Her spirit turned toward him like a star faced the earth’s pole, for he had always been her center, her anchor, her guiding light.

“Me, too,” she told him, his note clutched in her hand. She was breathless as he came toward her. She was captivated, unable to move, as he knelt down before her.

“Do you like the flowers?” he asked.

But he was inquiring about more than the flowers, she knew. “You don’t remember giving me these roses after our first date, but you brought me a bouquet anyway.”

“Seemed the gentlemanly thing to do.”

That was her Jonas, always a gentleman. She stared down at the bouquet picked from the bushes outside, from the bushes Jonas had planted for her as a surprise after Tyler was born. A sign of his devotion to her, he had said at the time. She had to stop herself from wishing that he could remember.

“Your mom is going to watch Madison and Tyler tomorrow. She told me a few things.”

“I’m afraid to ask what.”

“You should be very afraid.” Humor brightened him. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow at eleven-thirty sharp.”

She loved that he still had his sense of humor intact. The bullet had not taken everything. “I’ll see you in the physical therapist’s waiting room at eleven-thirty.”

“Lucky me.” It was not humor that darkened his eyes as he leaned close to press a kiss to her cheek, but it made her laugh all the same.

“No, lucky me,” she said, wondering if, somehow, her Jonas was on his way back to her.

The waiting room was busy when Danielle’s cell phone rang. She put down her pen, checked the screen and her heart lit up. “Hi, Mom.”

“Baby, I have someone here who wants to talk to you.” Dorrie sounded happy; she loved taking her granddaughter to swimming class. “Hold on.”

Danielle closed her checkbook, the enormous pile of unpaid bills forgotten. There was a shuffle and Madison’s singsong voice chattering in the background, and then suddenly, filling her ear.

“Mommy! I swimmed on my own!”

“That’s great, bubbles. You are such a good girl.”

“I know.” Madison had no problem with underconfidence. “Now I get minty cream.”

Peppermint ice cream. Danielle could only hope Mom would know what that meant when they got to the ice cream shop. “You be sure and point it out to Grammy, so she knows.”

Jonas. She looked up to find him watching her. How long had he been standing in the middle of the waiting room, pinning her with his intense gaze? Everything within her stilled. He might be leaning heavily on his cane, and he was trying to mask the pain on his face, but he was here. He was hers.

“Madison, do you want your daddy?”

“Yiiiip.” Excitement drew out that one word.

“Hold on, cutie.” Danielle stood, taking the phone to her husband. “There’s a pretty brunette who wants to talk to you.”

“There isn’t a problem?” One eyebrow crooked up into a question.

“No. Mom’s going to keep her for lunch and drop her by after our lunch date.”

“Good. I worried something had changed.” Jonas took the cell from her, his warm strong fingers brushing hers as she released the phone. His gaze never left her face. “Hi, sweetheart. Did you have fun swimming?”

Jonas loved his children. It was on his face, in his voice, gentle and unbreakable. That was something the bullet hadn’t taken. Danielle hiked her purse strap onto her shoulder, remembering the day he’d come out of his coma. Not fully awake and his thoughts confused, as if the coma were trying to pull him back in. He’d stared up at her without a hint of recognition.

Now, when he gazed at her, his eyes were full of gentleness.

“Okay. Bye-bye, Madison.” He closed the phone, and he looked steady. Stalwart. Invincible. “Whew, she’s cute but she’s a talker.”

“I can’t imagine where she gets it.” She took the phone he offered and slipped it into the outside pocket of her purse. “I never talk on the phone like that.”

“I didn’t think so.” His eyes were laughing at her, not at all fooled. He held the door open for her. “She must take after me.”

“That’s it. Every time she misbehaves, that’s what I say. She must get that from you, because it isn’t me.”

“That’s not what your family says. They say she is just like you.”

That had them both laughing and they stepped outside. She pulled her sunglasses from her purse. “Since I can’t deny that, I’m not going to say anything. It’s safest.”

“I just happen to like you, so I think Madison is perfect. Like her mother.” He stopped to open the van’s passenger door, stealing a little more of her heart.

“I happen to think you are pretty fine, too, handsome.”

“Good, because I’m taking your keys.”

And, to her surprise, he plucked them right out of her hand. “Hey, give those back.”

“No way. This is a date, this is my vehicle, too, and I’m driving.”

“You can’t drive yet, can you?”

“Sure. And it’s easier this way, since I know where we’re going and you don’t.”

“I’m not going to surrender my beloved minivan just like that. You can give me directions.”

“No. I always used to drive, and I’m up to it. So, get in.” He smiled, more handsome than ever for his steely stubbornness.

She knew he’d been working so hard in his appointments. The physical therapist had said so over and over. And she knew why he pushed himself beyond pain and endurance. She laid her hand on his arm, desperately needing to touch him, to draw his strength into her like air. Sunshine fluttered through the trees lining the parking lot, impossible to hold, but visible all the same. Like grace. Like faith. Like hope renewed.

She climbed into the seat, loving that he took hold of her arm to help her, although she didn’t need it. It was him she needed. How good it was to see him standing there, stronger, straighter.

He closed the door, walking around the front of the minivan, washed in dappled light, his shoulders once again a broad dependable line. God had not forgotten them, no. She’d known from the moment she’d first received his supervisor’s call that God was holding them all in the palm of His hand.

Jonas slid in behind the wheel, seeming eager to drive again. “Don’t worry. I remember driving. I remember the day I got my license. My dad took me.”

“You told me he was more nervous than you were.”

“He was afraid I was going to pass and he and Mom would be nervous wrecks every second I was out driving.” There was no mistaking the dip of affection in his voice for the parents who had loved their only child so dearly. He had lost them three weeks after he’d graduated from high school to a head-on Fourth of July car accident, and he had been minorly injured, buckled safely in the backseat. “Their deaths were the reason I wanted to be a trooper.”

She nodded, already knowing that, too. “You wanted to repay the kindness the troopers had shown you that evening coming home from watching the fireworks. You wanted to help others, the way you had been helped.”

He nodded put on his seat belt and turned the ignition. “Trust me, I wouldn’t be driving if I wasn’t able.”

“I trust you, Jonas.” She had never trusted anyone more. She watched while he checked the mirrors and the lot behind them before smoothly accelerating along the street. He was afraid, too, she realized. He might not admit it and he wasn’t about to show it, but she knew. These secrets they kept from one another, her fears and his. “You’ll be able to work again. I know it.”

“Not on patrol. I intend to walk without a cane, but I’ll never be strong enough to pass the physical requirements.” He put the car in gear and they rolled through the lot toward the street. “I don’t like it, but I can accept that.”

“You aren’t upset?”

“No. When I look at you and the kids, it seems so little to lose. I’m just grateful to be here, Dani.”

She smiled. Dani. What he always used to call her. “You’ve been talking to someone. Doing research on our past.”

“Guilty.” He grinned as he checked for traffic and made a right-hand turn. “Your brother was most helpful.”

“You talked to Spence?”

“Why? You look surprised. Did he and I not get along or something?”

“You two were great buddies. On the volunteer board for the city churches. Doing charity stuff. Playing golf together.”

“I play golf?” He chuckled at that.

“I hope so, as there’s a brand-new set of quality clubs in the basement storage.” A Christmas gift from her.

“Nice. What other hobbies do I have?”

His eyes were twinkling. This was amusing him. Fine, she could have fun with his amnesia, too. “You love classical music.”

“I do?”

“Sure. And theater. You love theater, especially Shakespeare.”

“You mean the dudes in tights?” His nose crinkled with dismay. “That doesn’t seem very manly.”

It was nearly impossible to keep a straight face. “The city symphony has a summer series I could get tickets for. Oh, and I think the college is putting on
King Lear.
There was a notice posted at the bookstore, the last time I was in. We could do both. What do you think?”

“No, that doesn’t sound right.” He laughed. “Are you trying to deceive me?”

“Never. I just couldn’t resist. The look on your face is priceless.” It felt wonderful to laugh together, to feel the rumble of his happiness roll through her like a spring breeze.

He stopped for a red light and turned to her. “Something tells me we did this a lot.”

“We laughed nearly all the time.”

“I can see that about us.”

“Even when we disagreed, we would wind up laughing. Not all the time, mind you, but mostly. You would say something funny and it would be impossible for me to be mad at you any longer.”

“I can’t imagine you getting mad.”

“Believe me, I did. You are a very maddening man at times, Jonas Lowell. And I’m your wife. I ought to know.” She said the words with love, because she’d stopped caring about his stubbornness and his unfailing ability to put off her “to do” list the moment she’d seen him hovering near death in the ICU. “I love you for those things.”