Held Captive By Love (6 page)

“We could go to this new bar on 34th,” Fernando offered.

  Jenna gave him a brief smile across the table before looking back down at her plate.  His stomach twisted.  She'd been pushing her food around since it had arrived, and had only taken a few bites.  Something was obviously bothering her.  He'd ended up working late at the office anyway, so he had texted her to see if she wanted to meet downtown for dinner.  It was nearly ten o'clock.  Maybe she was just tired and pissed off because of that.

  “Are you mad about me always working late?” He asked.  “I'm sorry about that, but it is something that attorneys have to do sometimes.” 

  “No, it's not that.”  She sighed and looked off across the restaurant.  They'd gotten a table at the very back, in the corner, and were removed from most of the noise.  Jenna was currently looking at the bachelorette party by the front window like she'd rather be up there instead, though. 

  “I just...”  She paused, the struggle evident on her face.  “Our relationship confuses me sometimes.  I mean, it's all happened kind of fast.  I'm so into you, don't get me wrong, but I wasn't expecting a relationship right now.”

  The words stung, but Fernando tried not the let them show.  What she was saying was one of the last things he wanted to hear, and he inwardly cursed himself.  Perhaps he'd been pushing her into moving into a relationship too fast.  He should have been more attentive to her needs.

  Over Jenna's shoulder, their waitress walked up to check on them, but he forced a smile and shook his head at the girl, who then backed away.

  “If we moved too fast, I apologize for that.  It's my fault.”

  He reached across the table to take her hand, and she responded by squeezing it.  “It's not your fault.  No, of course, it's not your fault.  You're amazing.  It's me.”

  Fernando didn't know what to say- he wasn't even sure what Jenna meant.  Wasn't that the standard line: It's not you, it's me? 

  And why did women always have to be so confusing and cryptic?

  He swallowed hard.  He didn't want to say what he was about to, but he had to offer the option.  “Do you want to take a break?”

  “No!”  She looked up at him, her eyes wild.  “Well...  I don't know.”

  Fernando bit his lip in frustration.  Underneath the table, his hands balled up.  “How can you not know?”

  “Please don't be mad at me.”

  Fernando took a steady breath.  He was mad, sure, but he wasn't mad at her exactly- just at the whole situation.  He was definitely finding it hard to keep calm when it felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest.  “I'm not mad at you, Jenna.  I'm just trying to understand.”

  She buried her face in her hands and sat silently for a moment before grabbing her purse and standing.  “I have to go.”

  “What?  Why?”

  Fernando stood too, reaching out a hand to stop her.  Tears were pooling in her eyes and threatening to ruin her always-perfect make-up.

  “I'll talk to you later,” She gasped, before turning and practically running out of the restaurant.

  “Jenna!” He called as she shoved the front door open.  She was already gone, though, with the puzzled hostess staring after her.

  The people at the nearby tables were staring as well but at Fernando.  His head was reeling, he sat back down.  He was going to pay the check and then go after her- even though he had no clue as to what the hell was going on.

  “Women,” An old guy at the table next to him said with a cough as if that explained everything.  Fernando gave the man a sad smile.  Then again, maybe that one word did explain everything. 

Jenna scrolled through the YouTube comments, wasting time.  She knew she shouldn't be reading them anyway.  Not if she wanted to keep her sanity.  Because although half the comments on her most recent video were positive and glowing, the other half were written by trolls just looking to ruin other people's days.

  'Jenna Smith is so ugly.  Who would take advice from her?' One poster had written.  Jenna sighed and shut her laptop, then glanced around the little Latin Cafe.  She'd discovered the place- six blocks from her building- just last week, and had found it to be a great respite both from her apartment and from Starbucks, where she sometimes went to write emails and blog posts.  She liked to think of it as her secret place.  Almost every person that came in walked through the door speaking Spanish, and not even Fernando knew that it was her new hideaway.

  The dining area was just as crowded, as it had been when she'd been there the day before, a mix of old men sitting at tables shooting the shit with each other and young people like Jenna working on their computers. 

  She picked up her spoon and absentmindedly stirred it in her coffee.  She needed to talk to Fernando.  She knew she did.  It had been wrong of her to not only storm out of the restaurant the night before but also to ignore him when he'd come knocking on her apartment an hour later.  She hadn't known what to say, though.  She barely understood her own feelings. 

  Now it was almost noon and she'd barely gotten anything done.  Was he at his downtown office suffering from the same problem?  Jenna bit her lip.  If he was, it was all thanks to her.  She didn't want to hurt him, but she was. 

  On the table next to her coffee, her cell phone buzzed.  Jenna's heart beat fast when she saw it was a text from Fernando.

  Will you please come over for dinner tonight?

  Jenna rubbed her temples.  Why did this all have to be so hard?  She wanted Fernando- God; she wanted him.  She wanted to see him every single day- to touch him, talk to him, lay in bed and laugh with him.  But the idea of being with one man for the rest of her life...  Well, it made her stomach clench up in fear.

  And why was she even thinking in 'rest of her life' terms?  They'd only been dating for two weeks.

  She knew why.  Because she'd never been into someone the way she was into Fernando, and that terrified her.

  Stifling another sigh, she opened her computer again.  She had emails to answer that she'd been putting off all morning.  As she pulled the browser up, though, a little box popped up in the corner of the screen.  She'd meant to log out of Skype so that she could (attempt) to get some work done without any of her friends from home messaging her, but she'd totally forgotten to.

  “Caitlin!” She said out loud, noticing who the message was from.  It had been weeks since she'd talked to her little sister, and she hadn't realized just how in need she was of hearing a voice from back home.  Jenna was the oldest of three girls and although she'd always been close to both Caitlin and Liz (the youngest, and a senior in high school) Caitlin and she had always had a special connection.  Jenna used to joke that they were the 'two musketeers.' 

  Caitlin answered the request for a video chat about two seconds after Jenna made the call.

  “Hey city girl,” She squealed, all blue eyes and crazy, wavy blonde hair.  Over her shoulder, Jenna could see the bedroom that Caitlin had in the apartment she shared with two of her old high school friends.  Caitlin was nineteen and had moved out of their parents' house only a few months before.  Although tame for her age, she was currently living it up playing adult for the first time.

  “Hey yourself,” Jenna laughed.  “How's the restaurant?”

  Caitlin stuck her tongue out.  “Ugh.  Awful.  I need to get out of here.”

  “Well, you can always stay with me for a while.”

  Caitlin shook her head.  “By 'out of here' I meant the next town or something.  I'm not as brave as you, Jen.  Packing up and moving to New York?  I mean, wow...”

  Jenna tried to smile.  If Caitlin only knew how much, she was floundering.

  Caitlin perked up again and started to practically bounce in her seat.  “So how is life in New York?”

   “It's... interesting.”

  “Must be, because I haven't heard from you in two weeks.  Are you, like, making millions now and living on a yacht with a Spanish bull fighter?”

  Jenna laughed again.  Caitlin could always cheer her up.  “No, not exactly.  Work is going great, for sure.  Also...”  She paused, not sure yet just how much she wanted to tell her sister.  “I met a guy.”

  Caitlin's eyes nearly popped out of her head.  “Oh my God!  Dish!”

  The old guy at the next table peeked over at Jenna's computer, craning his neck to get a good look at the screen.  Nosy much? Jenna thought defensively, but she turned the volume on her computer down a notch.  Caitlin could get crazy loud when she was excited.  She didn't want to get kicked out of the cafe for having an unnecessarily loud video chat.  Also, she had no idea what her sister was going to say next- Caitlin could be unpredictable- and she didn't need the whole place knowing about her personal life. 

Jenna leaned closer to the screen.  “Well, his name is Fernando-”

  “Oh my God, I love him already!  Is he a Spanish bull fighter?”

  Jenna gave a short laugh before getting serious.  “Are you interested in hearing this?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, then listen.”

  Caitlin froze and nodded her head in mock seriousness.  “Yes, ma'am.”

  “Okay, so, he's amazing in so many ways, and I think he's getting serious about me...”

  Caitlin nodded her head vigorously, encouraging Jenna to continue.

  “But I just don't know.  I mean, when I moved here I wasn't planning on throwing myself into a relationship.”

  “Because of Brad?”

  Jenna paused.  “Partly, I guess.”

  “Look, that guy was a total asshole.  Is this Fernando the same?”

  “No, he's definitely not.”

  “Is he gonna cheat on you like Brad did?”

  “No, I don't think so...  No.  Fernando is... “  Jenna stopped, thinking about Fernando's Dom business and how he'd quit it for her, simply because he felt uncomfortable servicing women when he had a girlfriend.  It didn't seem likely that he would ever cheat. 

  “Well, he's his own person,” Jenna continued, absentmindedly twirling a strand of her hair.  “But, no.  I don't think he would cheat.”

  “So what?  You wanna spend the rest of your life alone?”

  Jenna rolled her eyes.  “Of course not.”

  “So are you seeing more than one guy right now?”

  “No-”

  “Do you want to?”

  “Well, maybe...  In the future.”

  “And do you think there's anyone out there better than this Fernando?”

  Jenna froze, her hand dropping from her hair.  Did she think there was a man out there who had Fernando beat?  It was certainly hard to imagine that there could be such a guy.

  “I doubt it,” She finally answered.

  “Okay, then.  If this guy's a catch, don't let him get away.  Maybe you feel like it's too early for you to commit, Jen, but maybe it's not.  And, besides, you know as well as I do that good men are hard to find.  I know New York has a lot more of them but come on...  Most of them still suck, I'm sure of that.”

  Jenna smiled.  “Thanks, sis.” 

  “You're welcome.  If you happen to run into another eligible bachelor, though, do me a favor and package him up and ship him to me.  Preferably overnight.”

  “Hah.  No problem.”

Fernando drummed his hands against the counter and stared out the kitchen window at the bleak brick wall.  It wasn't much of a view, but most people couldn't' really afford to be picky when it came to New York living.  Then again, he could afford something better.  He'd already day dreamed about buying a nice little condo on the east side for him and Jenna to live in.

  He exhaled harshly and clutched the side of the counter.  All of the old emotions- fear of loss, regret, pain- were swirling up in him and threatened to take him over.

  “No,” He said out loud, to the empty kitchen.

  He wasn't a child in the foster system anymore.  He was an adult, capable of finding meaningful and lasting relationships.  Meeting Jenna had shown him that.

  And now she was the one getting scared; threatening to flee.  And what was she so afraid of?  He was right there, ready to take care of her in any way she needed.  Fernando had spent his life wishing for that very thing.  Hadn't she?

  Across the apartment, the front door opened and shut.  At least, she was using the key he'd given her...  If that meant anything.

  “I'm in here,” He called, turning away from the window.

  She shuffled her way into the kitchen.  There were bags under her eyes and strands of hair falling out of her braid.  She still looked gorgeous, but not as put together as she usually did.  Had she had trouble sleeping last night, just like he had?

  “Hey,” She whispered, and then fell silent, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

  Fernando couldn't take it.  There was too much distance between them when only a few days ago there had been none.  Not allowing himself to think twice about it, he moved forward and wrapped his arms around her.  The familiar scent of coconut and berries surrounded him as she first tentatively wrapped her arms around his back, and then clutched onto him with what felt like all her strength.

  “I'm sorry for being so fucked up,” She whispered, her voice muffled into his chest.

  Fernando laughed.  “I'm fucked up too, though.”

  Jenna nuzzled her face against him, and he kissed the top of her head. 

  “We can be fucked up together,” He continued. 

  She laughed and drew her face away to wipe at a tear.  Gingerly, he cupped her chin in his hand.  “Jenna, I never thought that a real relationship with a woman was possible.  Not until I met you.”

  Her lower lip trembled, and she looked like she was going to burst out into tears.  “Just listen,” He continued.  “You know I told you that I grew up in the foster system?  Well, I didn't give you the details of it.  I never had anything close to a family.  I stayed in so many strange homes that I lost count.  Twenty.  Maybe thirty.  I don't know.”

  Jenna's eyes grew wide.  “I didn't know about all of that...”

  “It's okay.  My point is that all of that makes you mean so much more to me.  And if you have your own baggage- whatever that may be- I can be accepting of it.”

  She sniffed and nodded.  “Thank you.  I do have a lot of baggage, I think.”

  Fernando smiled.  “We can lug it around together.”

  She looked down at her hands, which were busy playing with a thin gold bracelet.  “Sometimes, when I think about how amazing my life is, I get scared.  It doesn't seem like it can be real.”

  “I feel the same way.  I haven't always, but after meeting you, disbelief has become a pretty regular state for me.”

  She laughed and looked back up at him, her eyes sparking.

  “Jenna I love you.”  The words flew out of his mouth, completely unburdened.

  Her eyes grew wide, and a grin stretched across her face.  “I love you too.  Will you tell me more about your childhood?”

  Fernando leaned back against the counter.  “Yes.  Are you willing to talk about your own past?”

  She nodded eagerly, but then a thoughtful look crossed her face, and she started playing with her bracelet again.

  “What's up?” He asked.

  “Are you going to start your Dom business again?”

  “No.”

  “You know, I don't mind if you do.”

  “Jenna.”  Fernando pushed himself off the counter and took her hands in his.  “I don't even want other women walking into this apartment anymore.  Not when the only girl I can ever think about is you.”

  “You don't miss the... you know, the stuff.  The whips and whatever.”

  Fernando grinned.  She had him there.  “Yeah, I kind of do.”

  “But you never do that stuff with me.”

  “I wasn't sure that you wanted me to.”

  Jenna twisted her pouty lips.  “I liked it before.”

  Fernando laughed.  “Then that's all I need to hear.”

  “Next time, though,” She said slowly, running a finger across his palm, “I want to try new stuff.”

  “Oh yeah?  Like what?”

  Jenna said nothing, instead just grinning in response before reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck.  Her kiss was warm and delicate, just like her.

    Jenna sighed in pleasure as Fernando's mouth opened up to hers.  Maybe everything would be all right.  She was scared, sure, but for the first time, she had hope that they would figure things out together.

  Reaching behind her, Fernando lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him even harder.  God, she couldn't get enough of his taste.

  He was walking now, attempting to make it out of the kitchen.  His view more than a little obscured, though, he bumped into the door frame.  Jenna laughed.

  They were moving again, this time backwards. 

  “Forget about it,” Fernando murmured into her lips.

  Jenna nodded but didn't stop kissing.  Her eyes were closed tight, letting her lips and her hands, gently pulling on his hair, do all the work.

  They bumped against something again, and she looked to see that he had set her on the kitchen table.  Standing, Fernando pressed against her, settling between her legs.  The most sensitive place between them grew warmer by the second, and Jenna could feel his hardness growing. 

  Reaching down, he unbuttoned her short shorts. 

  “Are you going to whip me?” She teased.

  His face was serious; he shook his head.  “I'm going to make love to you.”

  Her shorts slid off to land on the floor, and Fernando wasted no time in reaching his hand down to slip his fingers beneath her underwear.  Jenna sighed in pleasure.

  “How come every time you touch me it feels new?” she gasped.

  He grinned.  “I guess something's just right between the two of us.”

  You're telling me; she thought, as an even stronger wave of pleasure swept over her.  Tugging the now soaking underwear off, and dropping them on the floor, Fernando lowered his face to her waist.  He kissed down her belly, going slower and slower as he got closer to the place that burned the most.

  “Stop teasing,” Jenna moaned.  “Seriously.”

  Fernando grinned.  “But I love that you hate it when I tease you...  Or maybe you secretly love it.”

  Jenna bit her finger and didn't say anything- just grinned back.

  Fernando kissed and caressed her swollen parts, sending wave after wave of ecstasy through her body.  Jenna clenched her hands, tugging on the tablecloth that lay beneath her.  Spots were swimming in front of her eyes, and sounds were coming from her mouth that she didn't even recognize as her own.

  “Oh my God,” she gasped.

  He paused to look up at her.  “You're close?”

  “Oh God, yes!  Why are you stopping?”

   “I want you to come with me in you,” he replied, undoing his belt so his pants could drop.  His dick was rock solid and just looking at it sent tremors through Jenna. 

  Taking hold of his dick, he slid right into her, and Jenna embraced every inch of its length and girth.  She fell forward, her face pressing against his shoulder, and he snaked an arm around her, holding her up.  In just a few motions, a new, deeper pleasure began building inside of her.  Fernando moaned low and clutched onto her so tight that it almost hurt.

  Jenna closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of the table hitting the wall behind them; feeling her hard nipples rubbing against his chest.  He increased his motions, and the sensation inside of her grew, sparking before finally exploding like fireworks.  With another deep thrust, pleasure spiraled through Jenna as she and Fernando came together.

  Panting, they leaned against each other.  Jenna's legs were shaking, and Fernando's sweat was stuck to her shirt.  She felt thrilled and cleansed from their love making, but not at all satiated. 

  Looking up at him, she batted her eyes.  “How long till you can go again?”

  Fernando threw back his head and laughed.  “Five minutes?”

  Gleefully, Jenna disentangled herself from him and jumped down onto the floor.  “Then meet me in your room in five minutes.”

  Before she could respond, she ran out of the kitchen and across the room to the second bedroom, which she'd only been in a couple of times.  Opening the door now, she slipped inside.  Most of the sex toys that had previously adorned the walls had been taken down.  There were still some whips up, though, and Jenna grabbed one.

  Through the wall, she heard the shower turn on. Perfect.  She had just enough time...

  Quick as a flash, she ran across the living room and into Fernando's bedroom.  The pink fuzzy handcuffs he'd used on her the first and only time he'd given her a taste of his Dom skills were still in the top drawer of the wardrobe.  Jenna pulled them out and set them on the bedside table next to the whip.  She stripped off the clothes that were left on her after the tryst in the kitchen and stood waiting for Fernando. 

  The shower shut off and his feet padded across the living room floor.

  “I hope you're ready to...” He said as he pushed the door open.  When he saw Jenna, though, standing naked with the whip in her hand, he paused. 

  “Get on the bed,” She said, not allowing him to say another word.

  He gave a knowing smile.  “Are you going to-”

  “No talking,” She interrupted.  “Just get on the bed.”

  Fernando paused.  He was thinking it over; she could tell.  And was he going to oblige? 

  “I know that you like being in control,” She said.  “But humor me.”

  He smiled again, and then silently walked over to the bed.  Jenna grabbed the handcuffs, snapped them over his wrists, and then locked him to the bed frame.  He opened his mouth to protest, but Jenna shook her head. 

  “This is a taste of your own medicine,” She grinned, before moving down his naked body.  Teasingly, she licked his already hard again dick.  He groaned low, and she responded by taking the whole member in her mouth and sucking on it.  When she stopped and walked away, he made a dejected noise.

  “Sorry, not sorry,” She giggled and picked the whip up from the table.

  “You're not seriously going to whip me, are you?” He asked.  “You have to be careful with that.”

  Jenna ran the whip through her fingertips, then trailed it up the inside of her leg and across her bare flesh.  “Oh, I'll be careful.  Roll over.”

  Fernando did nothing. 

  “Maybe if you're good for me, and you roll over I'll reward you by sucking your dick.”

  He let out a disbelieving noise, but when Jenna crossed her arms and stared him down he finally complied.  Jenna lightly tapped the whip against her thigh.  She was getting wet just thinking about smacking the whip against Fernando and causing him to make noise. 

  Stepping forward, she let the whip down on his bare ass with a smack.  He flinched.

  “Did you like that?” She asked.  When he didn't answer, she did it again.  “I said, did you like that?”

  “Yes,” He gasped, his voice thick and syrupy.  “I loved it.  Do it again.”

  Jenna bit her lip in glee, surprised to hear the authenticity in his voice.  Who would have known that the domineering one actually liked to be controlled himself?

  “You have to beg for it,” She said.

  “Please,” He gasped, the word coming out hoarse.

  Jenna let the whip down again, harder this time.  A resounding smack filled the room, and a red mark formed on Fernando's bare cheek.  Jenna giggled in glee.

  “Since you're taking this so well Fernando, I think a reward is in order.  You may roll back over.”

  Quickly, he rolled onto his back.  His face was flushed, and the sight of it set Jenna's heart to racing.  “You deserve a blow job,” She said, climbing onto the bed and straddling him.  “But first...”  She trailed off, letting the anticipation hang in the air.

  “First what?” He gasped.

  “Tell me what a good job I did.”

  “You did the best job ever.  Now please-”

  Reaching up, she silenced him with a single finger pressed against his lips.  She felt exhilarated; thrilled over what she had just done.  Who knew that the business of bondage could be so much fun?