Heartbeat (10 page)
What a dark day. I am sitting in the waiting area of Flannigan’s Funeral Home after picking out Grandma’s coffin with Dad. He, of course, selected the economy model. Nothing fancy, just the necessities. Grandma’s viewing will be unremarkable in its simplicity.
But I refuse to buy into that sentiment. Grandma was the most important person in my life. There is nothing ordinary about my love for her. She was my rock. She was special in every way, if only to me. She deserves more; she always deserved more.
I swallow hard over the lump forming in my throat. I refuse to break down. I will mourn in my own way after the public spectacle of her funeral is over. Now is not the time to release what is bottled up inside. It’ll make people uncomfortable. They won’t know where to look. I’m strong enough. I can hold it in for a few more days.
I hear Mr. Flannigan droning on through all of the details in the next room. Dad’s loud voice abruptly cuts in with a question every so often, but even he isn’t on top of his game. Everything is starting to catch up to him, too. He can’t compartmentalize the death of his own mother. It’s impossible. Some emotion has to seep in there somewhere, even if he’s determined not to let it show.
My phone begins to ring, muffled through my purse. I sit back in the plush, red chair and answer it before anyone can hear.
“Hello?” I answer, softly.
“Katie? It’s me. Adam. How are you holding up?” he asks.
“Adam…yeah, umm…hi…Jennifer told me she gave you my number.”
“I hope it’s okay that I called. I know you’re going through a difficult time.”
“No…no, it’s fine. I’m glad you called.”
An awkward pause ensues. My mind races, frantically trying to think of something to say, but Adam beats me to it.
“It was good seeing you again. I just wish it could have been under different circumstances,” he admits.
Well, that’s sweet. I can do this. I can talk to Adam. Just relax.
“Yeah, me too. But what a coincidence, right?” I respond.
“I don’t know…I think it was fate.”
My stomach leaps. Wow, did he really just say that?
Be brave, Katie. Be brave.
“I think it was, too,” I reply.
I can almost picture him smiling on the other end of the phone by the warmth of his response.
“I’d like to see you again,” he continues.
“Do you know the park by the river?” I inquire.
“Yeah, the one not far from where you live?”
“You know where I live?”
“I have to admit, I read your grandmother’s chart after her car accident.”
The revelation leaves me momentarily stunned. He was thinking about me all this time?
“You have a good memory,” I remark.
“Only for the important things,” he states.
Okay, I’m swooning here.
“Well, how about we meet there on Sunday around eleven o’clock?” I ask.
“I’ll be there,” he declares.
His lack of hesitation gives me a shot of confidence. No excuses, no apologies. His no-nonsense response is just what I needed.
“Good,” I answer.
“I don’t wanna say good-bye,” he implores.
“Me either.”
“Then I won’t.”
“Sunday can’t come fast enough.”
“I can’t wait to see you again.”
“I can’t either.”
I hang up as Dad exits Mr. Flannigan’s office.
“Who were you talking to?” he demands.
“Jennifer,” I hastily lie. “She wanted to know if we decided on a new dress for Grandma or if we should go through her closet for something.”
“Well, I hope you told her that the two of you better start looking,” Dad says.
“Of course,” I respond, glaring at him.
I can’t bring myself to tell Katie that I usually work all weekend, every weekend. We are feeling our way through the beginning stages of a possible relationship, and I’m not going to bail on her. I’ll meet her on Sunday, no matter what.
I probably won’t be welcome at her grandmother’s viewing or funeral Mass. I can’t take the chance of her father causing a scene, even though I want to be there for Katie. She doesn’t expect it of me, but I hope one day I can make it up to her for not being there during such a crucial time.
Everything is so brand new, yet I feel like she is such an important part of my life. We barely even had one real conversation, but words aren’t the thing drawing me to her. It is a shared understanding. Like she knows the real me, and I get who she is. I don’t have to play games to get her attention or indulge in that phony dating innuendo of reaching all of those supposed bases. What a relief to cut through all of that bullshit for once.
While riding in the ambulance with Charlie and Tommy, I have to bring up my intended absence. It isn’t fair to leave them hanging.
“Guys, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to make it in tomorrow,” I begin.
“And why’s that, kid? Got a hot date?” Charlie jokes.
“Actually, I do,” I affirm.
“Wow,” Tommy mutters from the back of the cab.
“You see that, Tommy’s practically speechless,” Charlie laughs. “Who’s it with? Please tell me it’s not that Suzanne.”
“No, absolutely not,” I reply, trying to contain my grin. “It’s with Katie.”
“What!” Charlie yells. “You have to be kidding me. When did this happen?”
“Well, to make a long story short, do you remember on parade night that call you sent me on?” I ask.
“Yeah, the nursing home…” Charlie continues.
“It turns out that the call was for Katie’s grandmother…she didn’t make it,” I pause.
“That’s rough. I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m guessing Katie was there?” Charlie questions.
“Yeah, I walked in on her moments after it happened,” I admit.
“Wow,” Tommy says again.
“So were you able to talk with her? It must’ve been a crazy scene,” Charlie remarks.
“Especially when her father arrived and kicked me out of the room,” I reveal.
“What?” Charlie inquires.
“Yeah, I don’t think he wants any guy near his daughter, and when he saw me holding her, he basically lost it,” I state, grimacing at the memory. “But her cousin slipped me her cell number and we arranged to meet tomorrow at the park. So like I said, I don’t think I’ll be able to work tomorrow.”
“You know I’ve been behind you on this since day one, right?” Charlie asks.
“Absolutely. That’s why I didn’t think it would be a big deal to skip tomorrow,” I respond.
“But kid, your timing sucks. Chuck’s been talking shit about you all week around here—that you’re incompetent, unprofessional, and so on. Trust me, Tommy and I made sure to set him straight, and I don’t think he’s said anything to his uncle, but you know he’s gonna be the one to fill in for you if you call off. And I don’t know if you wanna open that can of worms right now,” Charlie warns.
“Figures he wouldn’t keep his mouth shut. He was there at the nursing home, you know,” I mention.
“Well, now all of the pieces are coming together,” Tommy remarks.
“Yeah, he was definitely on a power trip, saying I broke our confidentiality policy by pursuing Katie and that I set the company up for trouble when her father went off on me. The stuff you’d expect him to say,” I relate.
“You certainly provided him with enough ammunition to really screw you over, kid,” Charlie admits. “So is a little rendezvous in the park really worth all the trouble you could get in over it?”
“Yes,” I proclaim, without hesitation.
If I wasn’t meeting Adam, I don’t think I’d be able to make it through the day.
My plan is to make it look like I’m taking Shelby to the park, like I always do. Nothing special. Nothing to arouse Dad’s paranoia…
But Shelby knows something’s up. She’s been pretty dejected since Grandma died, either endlessly searching the house or rolled up in a ball on the floor. But now her tail is wagging a mile a minute. The walk will do us both some good.
I clip on her leash and head for the garage.
“Katie, where are you going?” Dad yells, from upstairs.
Oh, great. Here we go.
“I’m taking Shelby to the park. She’s been cooped up and needs some exercise,” I respond.
“Don’t be gone too long. I wanna get started clearing out Grandma’s room,” he announces.
He isn’t wasting any time, is he?
I don’t have the energy to deal with him. So I keep my mouth shut and close the garage door behind me. We made it. We’re out.
I back the car out of the driveway and head toward the park. It’s only a five-minute drive, but it feels like an epic journey.
Shelby sits on my lap, alert and full of energy.
“You’re going to meet someone pretty special today, Shelbs,” I say. “His name is Adam, and he’s the super cool guy I’ve been telling you about. So I’m gonna need you to be on your best behavior, okay?”
She turns and gives me a mournful look.
“I know…you’re always a good girl,” I laugh.
My stomach starts doing nervous flip-flops as we approach the entrance to the park. Will he be here? Will it be as free and easy as it was before? Will he really be the guy I think he is?
As I turn into the parking lot, I see him. He is sitting on the hood of an old Dodge Neon, waiting for me. He gets down when he sees me and starts walking toward my car.
Oh God, this is really happening.
I open the car door and he bends down, giving me a dazzling smile.
“And who’s this?” he asks, petting Shelby on the head.
He always seems to know how to put me at ease.
“This is Shelby, my pride and joy,” I respond. “She really wanted to meet you. I couldn’t say no.”
“Well, I’m glad the both of you are here,” he proclaims as he takes Shelby’s leash from my hand, and she jumps off my lap and out of the car.
“See, she loves you already,” I joke.
Adam meets my eyes with such a look of longing; I have to look away for a minute. The emotion behind his gaze is so intense.
“How are you holding up?” he asks, pretending not to notice the blush climbing my cheeks.
“As well as can be expected, I guess. Meeting you today certainly helps,” I remark.
He moves even closer to me and my heart pounds. My heartbeat is all I can hear thundering in my ears. He gently lifts my chin and kisses my forehead. The memory of his earlier touch is all that has filled my head since the last time we met, and to have it repeated makes me sigh with contentment.
Adam smiles and my response draws his attention to my lips.
Yes, this is what I wanted.
This is what I’ve fantasized about since the moment we met. I can feel his breath on my face as he leans in…when he is suddenly yanked away.
“Shelby! Stop it!” I call as she starts barking, pulling Adam with her toward the trail.
“I guess she’s a better chaperone than you thought,” Adam laughs.
“I’m sorry,” I reply, wrinkling my brow.
“Don’t be. As long as I can get a rain check…”
“Absolutely.”
“C’mon,” he urges, holding out his hand to me. “Let’s take this dog for a walk.”
I place my hand in his as he guides Shelby down the path. How many times have I walked this trail alone, imagining what it would be like to walk it with him? And now, here he is, right beside me, holding my hand. Do these things happen in real life? Can you really get what you want?
“Thanks for taking the leash. You didn’t have to that,” I say.
“No problem. I love dogs, and not being able to have one of my own due to the long hours I have…well, it’s a treat to walk Shelby,” he relates.
“Yeah, I’m glad you were able to get away today and meet me.”
“To be honest, I did have to work, but I called off.”
“You’re not gonna get in trouble, are you?”
“Even if I do, it’ll be worth it, trust me.”
“The guys you work with seem like they’re really cool compared to one of the other crews I met.”
“Charlie and Tommy? Yeah, they’re the best. I wonder who the other crew was. I probably know them.”
“Well one was a really muscular blonde…”
“Okay, now I’m jealous.”
“Don’t be. She was a woman.”
“Ha! Must be Brickhouse Bonnie.”
“And the other one was a guy, kinda stocky, none too pleasant.”
“And that would be Chuck.”
“Sounds like you don’t care too much for either of them.”
“Bonnie’s okay in her own way, but Chuck I can do without.”
“Is he a troublemaker?”
“You could say that.”
“I thought I saw him again that day at the nursing home, but I wasn’t sure. Jennifer said he was giving you a hard time.”
“Nothing I can’t handle.”
“What’s his problem?”
“His uncle owns the ambulance company. So he thinks he can do whatever the hell he wants.”
“Was he threatening you or something?”
“Don’t go worrying about me. I can take care of myself,” he insists. “You have enough on your plate.”
“I just don’t wanna be the cause of any more trouble for you,” I assert. “After what my father did…”
I stop and gaze down the trail. He’s really risking a lot to be with me. It’s too much, too soon. Before I can even blink, his mouth is on mine, soft at first, then with more intensity. I melt into him, weaving my fingers through his hair as he wraps his free arm around my waist. We gradually draw apart as Shelby entangles our legs with her leash.
“Looks like you’re stuck with me now,” I laugh.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he proclaims before kissing me again.
I only get to spend a half hour with Katie, but it’s a day I’ll never forget. We finally kissed…and kissed again…and again. I didn’t want to let her go, but she said her father would start asking questions if she came home too late, and I didn’t want to complicate matters for her.
I’m driving home on the winding country road. The sun is shining. The snow is melting. Life is good. Then my cell phone rings.
I don’t like to talk while I’m driving. I see too many car accidents where the victim was on the phone. I’m not going to be one of them. So I pull over next to a farmer’s field.
It is the main number of Tri-County Ambulance.
Oh, shit.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Adam, it’s Bobby Talbot.”
Great, it is Chuck’s uncle, the owner of the company.
“Hi, Mr. Talbot. How are you?” I ask.
“Fine…fine, but something was brought to my attention that I’d like to talk to you about,” he states.
I swallow hard before responding. “Yes, sir. What can I help you with?”
“You see, Chuck came into my office and made some accusations about your behavior on the job. That you aren’t following company policy…” he reports.
“Sir, I can explain,” I interrupt.
“Now hold on, let me finish. I always like to hear both sides to every story, if I can, and I intend to hear you out, but Chuck leveled some serious misconduct issues against you, issues that can get my company in a lot of trouble. Do you understand where I’m coming from?” he questions.
“Of course, but…”
“Chuck said that you broke our confidentiality policy and looked up a girl’s phone number on a patient’s record. Is that true?”
“Yes, but…”
“And that you got into an altercation with that girl’s father on another call?”
“I wouldn’t call it an altercation…”
“Adam, I have to say I’m a little surprised. I expected you to prove what Chuck said false, but instead you’re confirming all of this actually happened,” he pauses, sighing. “Based on what I’ve heard so far, I’m going to have to suspend you for a month without pay until I can look into this further and decide if I want you to continue working for this company or not.”
“But Mr. Talbot, please…”
“And I will have to inform your school that you will be missing these hours in regards to your clinical field requirements.”
“Sir, let me explain…”
“Son, there’s nothing to explain. I can’t have someone on my staff who shows such poor judgment. I expected better from you. I really did.”
“Is there anything I can do to change your mind?”
“I’m afraid not. We’ll meet in a month and I’ll give you my final decision, but for now your suspension starts immediately. Good-bye, Adam.”
“Good-bye, sir.”
I sit back in stunned silence. He really did it, that bastard. He got me suspended. How did he even know I pulled Katie’s number off her grandmother’s chart? Did Charlie or Tommy accidentally spill the beans?
I focus on the muddy field, so full of promise. What is barren and desolate will be teeming with life in a few months. Nature never gives up, and neither will I. If the price of going after Katie costs me my job, then so be it. I can always find work at another ambulance company, even if Talbot has the monopoly on everything in a three county radius. If I have to commute an hour or more into New York State, I will.
But how am I going to meet next month’s rent without a paycheck? Not to mention the utility bills, groceries, and all my other expenses. I can’t think about that now. I have to take one thing at a time, and I can’t freak out. Katie is finally a part of my life. I can endure the fallout. I’ve been through worse.