Heart of Light (22 page)

“Can I stay at your place tonight?”

“Are you sure?” he asked in surprise. “We can take our time, Jolene. I don’t want to pressure you into something that will make you uncomfortable.”

She reached across the car and grabbed his hands in hers. “Please, Cam. I want to take another baby step with you.”

He beamed. “I’m starting to really like the idea of baby steps.”

Jolene giggled and released his hands, a calm feeling washing over her as Cam drove away from her prison on the shore.

“D
O
YOU
WANT
A
water or anything?” Cam asked, entering his house with Jolene, still surprised that she had asked to come over to his place. He thought it would take her much longer before she was comfortable enough with him that she would feel safe at his house.

“That would be nice,” she answered, taking in the beach décor in his Victorian-style home. “Wow. This place is beautiful. Business must be good.”

“I suppose. I just really like what I do, and I guess it shows.” He led her down a short hallway into a state-of-the-art gourmet kitchen, boasting all stainless steel appliances.

“Do you like to cook?” she asked.

“Yeah, I guess. It’s a necessity of life. Eating, that is,” he answered as he opened the refrigerator and handed her a bottle of water.

Jolene gazed out the large windows and into his back yard. “Is that a hot tub?” She turned to him and raised her eyebrows.

“Yup. Want to go for a dip?”

“As wonderful as that sounds, I’m exhausted.”

Cam stared at her with a look of hesitation on his face. “I can set you up in my room and I’ll take one of the guest rooms.” He began to walk out of the kitchen.

Jolene reached out and grabbed his arm.

Stopping abruptly, his breath caught from the feel of her hand on his skin. His expression became heated and he turned to look into her sparkling crystal blue eyes. “Yes?” he croaked out.

She released her hold on him and a sly smile crossed her face. “I said baby steps. But steps nonetheless, Cam. I want to sleep in your bed…with you.”

“Jolene…” He ran his hands through his hair. “Are you sure? I really don’t mind sleeping in a different bedroom. I know this is difficult…”

“No, Cam,” she interrupted, her voice strong. “I can’t ask you do to that. I wanted to come home with you. And I want to sleep in the same bed with you. I know you won’t try anything. If you were going to, you would have the night I was drunk and you brought me home. And if you
do
try anything, I’m pretty sure Elsie could find an ingenious way to make you suffer for the rest of your life.”

Cam beamed his brilliant smile at her, thinking how much he loved having her in his house. It felt as if she belonged there, as if his house was finally a home.

“Well, are we going to stand here and stare at each other all night, or are you going to show me where the bedroom is?”

He snapped to. “Right. Bedroom. This way, m’lady,” he said, bowing in an exaggerated fashion before leading Jolene up a flight of stairs and into a spacious master bedroom. A comfortable-looking oversized king bed, with far too many pillows, sat in the center of the room.

Unable to resist, Jolene ran over to it and began bouncing up and down before flopping over, rolling around on the duvet.

“God, this is so soft,” she exclaimed. “If I lived here, I would never get out of this bed!”

Cam chuckled. “I’m not going to lie. I like the sound of that. I
really
like the sound of that.”

Jolene stopped rolling around, sitting up to meet Cam’s gaze. “Me, too,” she said breathlessly. They regarded each other for several long moments, the intensity in just the simple act of looking deep into each other’s eyes making her heart race.

“Do you need something to sleep in?” Cam asked, breaking his eyes away before he did something he would regret. It was taking all of his resolve to keep his distance from her.
Baby steps
, he had to keep reminding himself, even though he didn’t want to take baby steps. He wanted to take a huge, giant leap, but knew that it was the worst thing for her.

“Yes,” she replied. “If you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” He turned toward the mahogany dresser. “Can I tell you something?”

“Sure. What is it?” She rolled onto her stomach, propping her head in her hands.

Cam glanced back and smiled at her. She seemed so carefree at the moment. He wanted to keep that look on her face. “When you were wearing my shirt earlier… Damn, Jolene. That was a turn on. You in my clothes does it for me.”

“Really?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Uh huh.” He nodded slowly.

She crawled off the bed and sauntered over to where he stood next to his dresser. “Well then, Cameron, give me some of your clothes to sleep in.” She raised herself onto her toes, her lips almost brushing his.

His blood spiked in response.

“Please,” she whispered, her sweet breath warming his skin.

Cam took a step back. “Fuck, Jolene. You make it hard for a guy to take baby steps with you, ya know that?”

She giggled. “You make it hard for a girl to
want
to take baby steps, but I have to, Cam,” she explained, her expression turning from playful to apologetic. “I…”

“Jolene,” he interrupted, “I don’t want to ruin what we have by moving too quickly. I’m happy with baby steps. I don’t care how small of a step it is. Any step forward with you is worth it.” He reached into his dresser and grabbed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt for her. “Here,” he said, handing her the clothes. “I’ll let you change.” He turned to head out of the bedroom.

“I can just change in the bathroom. I don’t mind,” she called out.

“It’s not that.” Cam spun around, smiling flirtatiously. “I need some privacy right now, or I’ll never be able to have children.”

Jolene burst out laughing. “Okay, Casanova. You go do what you gotta do. Just promise you’ll think of me.”

“I have since I met you.”

She shook her head as she changed into Cam’s warm clothes, hopping into his bed and relaxing against the mattress. She inhaled deeply, smelling the most wonderful aroma in the world…Cam. His scent covered the bed, and she couldn’t be happier.

She lost track of time as she lay in his bed with her eyes closed, simply enjoying the feeling of absolute security during that small moment in time. The opposite side of the bed dipped and she turned around to face Cam, grinning.

“So, how did it go?”

He rolled his eyes. “Beggars can’t be choosers, Jolene. It was as good as can be expected.” He turned off the light and the room was dark, except for the moonlight filtering through the windows.

“I’m sorry, Cam. I just…”

“Jolene, I’d rather have to do that every day for the next ten years than to rush you into something you’re not ready for and have you hate me. I’m not going anywhere. I have all the time in the world.”

“Not that much time. You
are
pushing forty.”

He laughed. “Well, I don’t care about that. Age is just a number anyway. You’re a spring chicken compared to me. I just hope that when I’m old and wrinkled I can keep up with you.”

“Why do you have a swing-set in your back yard?” Jolene asked, inching slightly toward his side of the bed.
 

“I have a few nieces and nephews. They come to visit on occasion, so I put up a play area for them.”

“How many brothers and sisters do you have?”

“I have three sisters.”

“Where do they live?”

“Aren’t you nosey tonight?”

Jolene shrugged, placing her hands underneath her head as she continued to lie on her side, staring at Cam as he lay in the exact same position. “I just want to get to know you.”

“I grew up in South Carolina. All my family is still there,” he replied evasively, wondering if he should tell her about Marley.

“Ah,” Jolene exhaled before he could say anything more. “That explains the adorable accent.”

He raised his eyebrows at her. “You like my accent?”

She nodded. “I think it’s yummy.”

Cam laughed fully in response, the sound filling the quiet room. “I don’t think anyone’s ever called my accent ‘yummy’ before.”

Grinning, she met his eyes and, for a moment, felt completely carefree. She had a feeling that, whenever she was with him, she would have that sense of euphoria and ease.

“Well, they should because it’s the truth.”

“I’m glad you think so, Jolene.” They passed a meaningful look. He wanted to be affectionate toward her, but couldn’t…and it was killing him. “So how about you?” he asked, trying to break the growing tension in the room. “Brothers or sisters?” His tone was slightly hesitant. He was anxious to learn more but, at the same time, he didn’t want the fun, buoyant Jolene that lay in his bed to leave.

“Nope. Only child. Mom died in childbirth, apparently. Dad wasn’t around much, either. He was a detective on the police force and when he wasn’t working, he was usually drunk. Mom’s death was hard on him. I was pretty much raised by Holly because my dad couldn’t take care of me by himself. I always called Holly ‘mom’. She was the only mother I knew.”

“Was she married to your father?”

“No. She was a good friend of his. After my real mom died, he knew he couldn’t raise a child on his own and she wanted to help him out.”

“Where did you grow up?”

“Houston.”

“So that explains it…”

“What?”

“That adorable accent of yours.”

“You like my accent?”

“Not to sound repetitive, but it is absolutely yummy.” Cam laughed and Jolene joined in.

“You know what, Cam?”

“Yes?”

“I like you. I like that I feel safe with you. I like that I’m slowly learning to…” She trailed off, taking a deep breath.

“That you’re what, Jolene?”

She met his eyes. “I’m learning to trust again. I’m learning to trust you, Cam. I
don’t
trust you yet, but I’m getting there.”

His heart raced at her words and a warmth spread through him. “Good. Now sleep, beautiful.”

“I don’t want to. I feel like I’ve been asleep for years and am now just finally waking up,” she responded, her voice lazy. “I don’t want to miss a minute of spending time with you in case…”

“Hush, baby,” Cam interrupted. “We have forever. But, for now, you need sleep.”

Jolene yawned and closed her eyes. She drifted off to sleep, listening to his gentle voice, the perfect lullaby with which to fall asleep.

Cam stayed awake a bit longer, not wanting to wake up to find that Jolene in his bed was simply a dream. He would remember that night forever, and he hoped that it was the first of many nights that he would be able to share a bed with the beautiful Jolene.

~~~~~~~~~~

J
OLENE
’
S
EYES
FLUTTERED
OPEN
the following morning, a smile crossing her face when the first sight that greeted her was shimmering silver eyes.

“Hey,” Cam said sweetly.

“Hey.”

“How did you sleep?”

She stretched in his comfortable bed, relishing in the soft Egyptian cotton sheets against her skin. “Great. Best night sleep I’ve had in quite a while.”

“You don’t sleep well at your place?” he asked, propping himself up with his elbow, leaning his head on his hand.

“Not really,” she mumbled, looking down at Cam’s naked chest.

“Is it the bed or the mattress? I’ll replace it if you need a new one. I know a lot of that furniture has probably seen better days.”

Jolene rolled onto her back, throwing her arm across her face. “It’s not that, Cam.”

“Then what is it? Is it something I can fix?”

She took a deep breath and met his candid gaze. What could she possibly say to him? That her own house was now a prison?

“I want you to feel comfortable and safe.” Cam’s deep voice broke her away from her thoughts.

“Can I stay here today?” Her lips turned up slightly in the corners as she continued taking in his beautiful physique. “I feel comfortable and safe here. It’s the only place that I
do
feel comfortable and safe.” She reached out and ran her fingers through his hair.

He closed his eyes, thinking that he would never tire of feeling Jolene’s hands on any part of his body, no matter how innocent of a touch it was. Opening his eyes, he gazed at her with a look that was a combination of desire, respect, and admiration. He could never say no to her, not when she appeared so vulnerable. It was a new look for her as she lay in his bed, the sunlight illuminating her from behind, casting an angelic glow about her. The hard exterior that she had when he first met her was slowly cracking, and he only hoped that she would continue to let him beneath her surface to see more of the beautiful woman that lay within.

“Of course, Jolene. Please. Stay forever,” he said breathlessly.

She felt butterflies erupt in her stomach at Cam’s heartfelt plea. She wondered how one man could be so sweet, patient, and caring. He was almost too good to be true. Granted, he had his flaws, but in Jolene’s mind, he was perfect. Cam was exactly what she needed and wanted. And that was all that mattered.

“Do you want me to take you back to the beach house so you can grab a few things?” he asked.

“Will you stay with me while I’m there?” Her voice was audibly nervous.

“Are you sure everything’s okay?” A worried look crossed his face. “Is there something going on that I should know about? Has something happened at the house?”

“No,” she said quickly, not wanting Cam to become suspicious. “Nothing’s happened.” She brushed his hair back, her fingers lingering on his brow a moment longer. “I just feel safe with you. I like knowing that you’re near me.”

His expression softened. “I like being near you.”

Jolene rolled over and bounced off his bed, trotting to the bathroom. “I’m stealing your toothbrush, Casanova. We’re so swapping spit right now…indirectly of course!” she shouted, grabbing his toothbrush out of the holder.

Cam chuckled. “I’m okay with that.”