Healing A Hero (The Camerons of Tide’s Way #4) (13 page)

Chapter 24

September 2001

Darwin, Australia

PHILIP SAT ON A stool at the bar nursing a beer. He glanced back at the line of Marines and sailors leaning against the wall waiting for their turn at the pay phone. He checked his watch. Plenty of time. It might be nighttime here in Darwin, but Elena would still be curled up under the covers in her bed in California.

He had a pocketful of coins even though he knew his turn would be brief. Every man on that ship with shore leave was eager to call home. It didn’t matter how short the call was. He just wanted to hear her voice. He wanted to tell her he loved her.

He should have told her while he was wiping away her tears and making promises about Christmas. He should have told her when they were making love that last time on the beach. He could have told her in an email, but he wanted to say the words aloud so she knew he meant them, and they weren’t just a casual sign-off on an email.

The barkeep approached and set plates with fat juicy steaks before Philip and the officer sitting next to him.

Captain Geddes sliced into his steak and sighed with pleasure. “God, it’s been an age since I had a steak like this. So tender I didn’t even need this knife.” He popped the juicy nugget into his mouth and moaned theatrically.

Philip glanced again at the men waiting by the phone, and then cut into his own steak.

The sound of shouting voices reached Philip first. A moment later two harried MPs burst into the bar.

“Back to the ship!” the taller of the two shore patrol men barked above the cacophony of the crowded bar. “On the double.”

Marines and sailors glanced at each other with puzzled looks on their faces. A few of them got to their feet. The line by the phone stood their ground.

“Like hell!” Captain Geddes muttered. “I just got my meal, and I intend to eat it.” He sliced off another chunk of meat and forked it into his mouth.

“Officer of the deck’s orders, sir,” the MP insisted in spite of being outranked. He turned on his heel and exited the bar. A few sailors began to drift toward the door, but others remained sat and questioned the orders. The line by the phone didn’t budge.

More shouting in the street could be heard, then the sound of boots running on pavement grew louder. A lot of men. The words
attack
and
New York
echoed in from the street.

The barkeep frowned and reached up to turn on a small television set that occupied a shelf above a bank of liquor bottles. The set flickered to life and gasps of shock filled the room.

Philip watched in horrified disbelief as what appeared to be a commercial airliner flew into the side of the World Trade Center in downtown Manhattan, New York. The camera panned to men and women running down the street. Men in business suits, firemen, police, a woman with a child on her hip. Behind them, a cloud of smoke and debris billowed out as if it was determined to swallow them and all the buildings around them.

“Jesus H. Christ!” a Marine standing directly below the television blurted out as another camera angle showed the tower telescoping into the earth.

“Mother of God,” the sailor on Philip’s left muttered, crossing himself.

The blood seemed to have stopped moving in Philip’s veins. An icy cold sluice of horror gripped his heart.
This can’t be what it looks like! It has to be a hoax.

The men in the bar continued to gape at the flickering picture of destruction while the commentator repeated the awful truth of an attack against the United States of America. Philip looked at his watch. It was morning in New York. The city would be bustling with people. Those buildings would be full of people. Thousands of them.

As disbelief gave way to rage, a mass exodus for the doors began. Even the men waiting for their turn on the phone strode toward the door, heads thrust forward, ready to meet the attack however they could.

Philip laid two bills beside his forgotten steak and followed them.

Chapter 25

April 2015

Camp Lejeune, North Carolina

THE DAZED EXPRESSION still lingered on Elena’s face, but her body straightened, and she took her hand away from his chest. Philip almost caught it and held it in place, but instead, he let her go.

“What happened?” he repeated.

“You stopped writing. You never called. I—I thought you didn’t care.” She wrapped her arms about her knees again and began to rock. “I thought I was just a . . .” She hesitated. “I thought I was just a summer affair.”

Shock hit Philip like a physical blow. “You were never that.”

“Then you tell me what happened.” Her mouth pressed together into a hard line as if she were trying hard not to respond with angry words.

“9/11 happened. I was waiting to call you, but I never got a chance.”

“You could have emailed me.”

Philip shook his head. “We were ordered to return to the
Peleliu
without delay, and she set sail as soon as everyone was accounted for. We weren’t allowed to use email. Or make calls.”

“For three months?” Elena’s brown eyes glittered with unshed tears.

“For more than three months. We were headed to Pakistan, but when we weighed anchor, I didn’t even know that. At one point, we stopped to offer humanitarian aid, but we still didn’t get to call home. Then we ended up in Afghanistan.”

Suddenly, it all made sense. The military had contacted the families to assure them their sailors and Marines were okay, but Elena would have had no way of finding out unless she just happened to talk to his parents, or his brothers. And if she’d been thinking he wasn’t serious about her, she would never have called them.

The truth of their lost summer raged through his reeling brain. “Is that why you stopped emailing me?”

“I didn’t stop emailing you for months. You never answered.” Her words were clipped and angry, but didn’t mask the hurt reflected in her eyes.

“I didn’t get your emails. When I finally got to a computer, there were hundreds in my inbox, but none from Juliegirl.” He’d been in a hurry because he’d only had a few minutes, but he’d rifled through them as fast as he could. There hadn’t been any from her.

Elena’s eyes grew wide and she gulped back a sob. “I couldn’t use that account any more. The server closed. I had to use my college email.”

“No Juliegirl?” Philip’s head began to throb. He’d tossed dozens of emails from a dot edu account, thinking they were just college solicitations.

She shook her head again. “You could have called me. You knew my phone number.”

But he’d been too proud to call. His heart had been crushed, but so had his confidence. It had felt like Holly all over again. And he’d been thankful he hadn’t gotten as far as marriage and another blindly trusting mistake.

“And you didn’t come home for Christmas either.”

The lump in his throat threatened to choke him. “There didn’t seem to be any point. My country needed me in Afghanistan. I thought you didn’t need me at all.”

She glared at him through brimming eyes. “But I did need you. Only you weren’t there. What was I supposed to do?”

“You needed me?”

“I—I wanted you, but you were gone. I thought for good.”

“So you married Eli?”

She brushed her forearm over her eyes, dashing away the tears, but the pain remained. “I didn’t plan to marry Eli. Not then. Not until a long time later. He—he was there, and he wore me down.”

She didn’t plan to marry Eli, but he wore her down? What kind of reason is that? A person doesn’t marry someone just because they want you to. Not if you didn’t love them. Not unless—

Philip glanced toward the ocean where Julie was riding the crest of a wave.

Unless she was pregnant.

Eli had gotten Elena pregnant, and he’d stood by her in spite of her feelings for another man. He’d married her and done his best to provide a home and support. All the resentment Philip had felt for Eli in the years since began to dissolve.

He would probably never understand how Elena could have been seduced into sleeping with another man so soon after the mind-blowing week she’d shared with him in Tide’s Way, or why she’d been so careless, but maybe he didn’t have to. She’d paid for her mistakes. And was still paying for them.

He reached over and wrapped his arm about her shoulders, pulling her resisting body closer to his. Then he laid his cheek on the crown of her bent head. The light teasing scent he remembered far too well filled his nostrils, and his body stirred in spite of the emotional turmoil in his soul.

She turned to Eli because she didn’t have a choice. Because I never told her I loved her.
“I am so, so sorry.”
Sorry!
What a pathetic word for the heartache he’d carried all these years. Or the heartache he’d caused her.

He still wanted her. More than he’d ever wanted any woman. Although plenty of women had desired him and hadn’t made a secret of it. But whenever things had begun to feel too serious, he’d ended it. Now he knew why.

He tightened his embrace. “Is it too late to start over?”

Chapter 26

November 2001

University of Southern California

ELENA CRUMPLED into the overstuffed chair in the corner of her room and gave in to the racking sobs that had been threatening all day. Her heart ached even worse than it had when her father had been killed by a drunk driver.

Philip was never coming back to her. He might be coming home for Christmas, or he might not, but he was never coming back to her. He hadn’t answered a single email in over two months. Nothing since that last email before his ship got to Darwin.

Up to now, she just kept telling herself he was caught up in the response to the Twin Towers nightmare, but even if he was involved, he should have contacted her before now. He’d promised to call her from Darwin. But he hadn’t.

One of the girls sharing her apartment had conjectured that Philip had gone ashore on leave and found a woman to spend his time with, but Elena hadn’t wanted to believe it. She’d chosen to think that his ship had never even gotten to Darwin. After the terrorist attack that destroyed the World Trade Center and had the whole country in shock, maybe things got a little crazy for the military as well. But that was more than two months ago. Surely by now he would have answered her emails if he thought about her at all.

Her messages had begun to sound frantic in spite of her efforts to stay calm. He had to know how desperate she was to hear from him. He had to care.

But apparently he didn’t.

Her throat ached and her head throbbed. The sobs turned to hiccoughs but the tears wouldn’t stop. What was she going to do now?

“Elena?” An urgent rapping on her door accompanied the voice calling her name.

“Go away.”

Eli Tischler was the last person she wanted to talk to right now.

The door opened a few inches. “Are you decent?”

“What part of
go away
didn’t you get?” Elena grabbed the tail of her shirt and wiped her face. Not that it would help much since her eyes had to be swollen and red by now.

Eli came into the room, and shut the door. “What’s wrong? Has something happened at home?” He crossed the room and knelt on the floor in front of her. “Is your family okay?”

“My family is fine.”

Eli reached for the bookshelf, grabbed the tissue box and handed it to her. “Want to talk about it? Whatever it is?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Just because we aren’t sleeping together any more doesn’t mean we aren’t still friends. You look like you did the day the planes flew into the Twin Towers. Worse.”

Elena bit her lip and stared up at the ceiling, concentrating on not letting any more tears fall.

Eli took her hands in his and began rubbing them. “Your hands are like ice. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Elena shook her head.

“Do you want me to go find Marci?”

“Marci is out—with John.” Another sob suddenly rolled up and nearly strangled Elena. She buried her face in her hands and tried to stanch the tears. Eli kept patting her shoulder, but when she didn’t stop, he finally stood. Thank God, he was leaving. She could cry in peace.

But instead of leaving, he scooped her up in his arms and took her place in the chair with her in his lap. He wrapped his arms about her and just rocked. He kept rocking until the last of her sobs subsided, more because she was too tired to keep on weeping rather than having found any kind of peace. She dried her eyes on his T-shirt and tried to sit up, but he pulled her back into his embrace.

“Whatever it is, if there’s anything I can do to help, you know you just have to ask.” He forked his fingers into her hair and pushed it off her face. “We had something special going once, and I still care about you. I’d do anything to help.”

“There’s nothing you can do. Nothing anyone can do.” She gulped back another sob that threatened to erupt. “And this isn’t your problem.”

With that, she got off his lap and crossed to the window. She stared down into the dark street and saw two lovers embracing at the foot of the stairs. Just a couple of months ago, that could have been her and Philip. But Philip was gone. And he didn’t care.

“It might not be my problem, but I’m a good listener.” Eli had come to stand close behind her, but he didn’t touch her.

“I’m pregnant.”

Eli moved around to face her, but he didn’t respond right away. He studied her with a frown on his face. She hung her head.

“Does the father know?” Eli’s question was gentle rather than condemning.

She shook her head.

“Aren’t you going to tell him?”

“He’s—he’s not part of my life any more. And a baby would not fit into the life he does have.” The life of an active duty, career Marine. Philip had suggested he didn’t have to volunteer for overseas duty, and even mentioned getting stationed at Pendleton, but after 9/11, he must have changed his mind. He was probably in the thick of things and he’d forgotten all about her and their summer romance.

“He has a right to know,” Eli argued, his voice still quietly nonjudgmental.

“I tried. He ignored every email I sent him.”

“I see.” Eli did touch her then, his hands curling gently around the curve of her shoulders. “Are you going to have the baby?”

“Of course.”

“There’s no
of course
about it. It can’t be too late to get an abortion.”

No way could she even consider the idea of disposing of Philip’s child, a child conceived with such passion and, at least on her part, love.

“There’s no way
I
would consider one.”

Eli gripped her shoulders tighter. “Then marry me. Let me take care of you and your baby. I promise I would be good to both of you. I love you, and I’d love your baby even if it’s not mine.”

Elena shook her head. “But I don’t love you. Not the way you deserve to be loved. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“Why don’t you let me decide if it’s fair to me or not. If there’s no way this man, whoever the bastard is, is going to take responsibility, then who else are you going to turn to? Your brother? He’s already got two kids of his own and your mother to worry about.”

“I can take care of myself. And my baby.” Elena straightened her shoulders, but didn’t pull them from Eli’s grasp. She had to take care of herself and her baby since Philip wasn’t around to accept his share of the consequences. All the care they’d taken to make sure they always used a condom, and she’d gotten pregnant in spite of them.

She met Eli’s intent gaze. “Thank you for your offer. It’s more generous than I deserve.”

“Don’t decide right away.” Eli brushed his knuckles lightly over her cheek. “The offer stands if you change your mind. I’ll always be your friend, and I’d like to be more. If there’s anything you need, I’m here for you.”

Overwhelmed by his compassion and his totally selfless proposal, Elena fell back into his embrace.