Healing A Hero (The Camerons of Tide’s Way #4) (12 page)

Chapter 22

August 31-September 7, 2001

From: Philip Cameron < [email protected]>

To: Elena Castillo

30 August 2001

Can’t believe how much I miss you already. Your tears made it really hard to leave. I hope you know I didn’t want to go. I’m looking forward to Christmas. Can’t say more because they just called my flight. Take care.

Philip

———

From: Elena Castillo

To: Philip Cameron

August 30, 2001

I’m sorry I made it so hard for you. I meant to be strong, but when the time came, I just didn’t want to let you go.

Shopping for college today. I got all my books ordered. Leaving tomorrow for Los Angeles. I wish it was still a month ago and we could live it all over again. Miss you, miss you, miss you. Be safe. I’m praying for you.

———

From: Philip Cameron < [email protected]>

To: Elena Castillo

31 August 2001

I’m in Germany. Not enough layover time to find a bed so I’ll be sleeping on a bench. Not nearly as exciting as sleeping with you. But at least I’ve got my memories to keep me warm until December.

I met up with two guys from my unit who are headed back from leave so from here on in, I’m not traveling alone, which is good. Not sure when the next chance to get to a computer will be, but I’ll be thinking of you every minute.

———

From: Elena Castillo

To: Philip Cameron

August 31, 2001

You’re flying one way and I’m flying the other. By now, we must be on opposite sides of the world. I wonder if it’s farther straight through the center of the earth, or around? It was so cloudy today, I couldn’t see anything until we landed in Dallas. The weather kind of mirrors my mood. I should be excited to be going back to school, but this summer with you changed everything. Now I just can’t wait for the semester to be over. Maybe I should transfer to a school closer to home. I’m glad you found some friends to travel with, but I wish it was me traveling with you.

I miss you. Wish you were here to give me one of your mind-blowing kisses. Or something even better.

Elena

———

From: Philip Cameron

To: Elena Castillo

1 September 2001

This summer with you changed everything for me, too. Before now, the Marines was my whole world. Now I have you and Christmas in Tide’s Way to look forward to. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I wasn’t a Marine, but I don’t have to keep volunteering for overseas assignments. If I pulled the right strings, I might even be able to get sent to Pendleton for a couple of years.

Got to get off the computer, there’s a long line of guys waiting behind me. Consider yourself mind-blowingly kissed. The other stuff will have to wait.

Philip

———

From: Elena Castillo

To: Philip Cameron

September 2, 2001

Are you there yet? I am. I bunked with my old roommate my first night here. She’s staying in the dorm, but I moved to an off-campus apartment with a few other friends yesterday. Thankfully, the place comes furnished, but I won’t be eating at the dining commons any more. Guess I’ll have to learn how to cook something besides ramen noodles. I should have asked you for that sweet potato dumpling recipe you love so I could practice up.

My new roommates are two girls I have most of my classes with since they are in the same course of study. And the other two rooms are four guys. It will be good to have a man to grab if I have to go out at night and need an escort. Marci is dating one of them and he’s really nice. I know Eli from last year, and he’s a good friend. Don’t really know the other two guys. I hope they aren’t slobs. Anyway, it will be a lot more fun being off campus.

Classes start on Tuesday. I’m excited that we’ll actually be starting the pre-PT stuff. I got your kiss. And here’s a few for you. XXXXXXXXXXX

Elena

———

From: Philip Cameron

To: Elena Castillo

3 September 2001

So, you’re living with four guys? Should I be worried?

Mom could give you the Sweet Potato Dumpling recipe, but I’m good with just about anything.

———

From: Elena Castillo

To: Philip Cameron

September 3, 2001

Considering our last week together, you don’t need to worry about anything. I’ll be spending all my nights wishing it was Christmas already.

———

From: Philip Cameron

To: Elena Castillo

4 September 2001

I’m back on my ship. I forgot how hard it is trying to sleep with a dozen other guys snoring and farting and jerking off in the dark. Wish I was with you instead. We’ll be in Australia soon where all the guys who’ve been aboard this boat for the last few months will get shore leave. Not sure if I’ll get leave since I just got back from thirty days off. Hope so. I’m looking forward to checking out Darwin and seeing that beach with the kangaroos. Catch you later. XOXOXO

———

From: Elena Castillo

To: Philip Cameron

September 5, 2001

I wish you were with me, too. I hope you get to go ashore. Australia seems so far away and exotic. I’d like to go there someday. And a lot of the other places you told me about.

The apartment is a huge improvement over living in the dorm. A lot more freedom and space. The furniture is incredibly shabby, but the guys who found this apartment don’t care so much about that. They were more interested in getting a bigger TV installed. Anyway, Marci and I got new slipcovers for the couches so they look a lot nicer and I’ve learned which end not to sit on. At least my bed is comfortable. Except it’s kinda lonely with just me in it. Wish you were here.

I got a new student job. If you could actually call it a job. I get to sit at this little desk and check people into and out of the workout room. And I can do my homework in between. What a cushy assignment, huh? Eli works here as well, so I won’t have to worry about getting back to the apartment after dark.

Okay, gotta get back to work. Hugs and kisses,

Elena

———

From: Philip Cameron

To: Elena Castillo

7 September 2001

Last night I dreamed about you. I dreamed we were at the beach. You were wearing your favorite shirt. The one that ties under your boobs. You dared me to untie it with my teeth. And I’m sure you can guess what happened next. God, but it felt so good. Then I woke up with an aching woody and no girl in my bed. What a letdown.

The good news is, I get to go ashore after all. We’ll be in Darwin in a couple more days. I’ll call you if I can find a phone.

———

From: Elena Castillo

To: Philip Cameron

September 7, 2001

Darwin isn’t the end of the world. I’m sure you’ll find a phone. I can’t wait to hear your voice. A bunch of us are going out tonight and I’ll probably have fun, but it would be a lot more fun if you were here. I dream of you every night, and all my dreams are X-rated. Miss you so much. I’m counting the days until you call.

Chapter 23

April 2015

Camp Lejeune, North Carolina

“OVER THERE, MOM.” Julie pointed to a vacant parking spot between a Jeep with more rust than paint and a shiny, well-kept Buick with a surfboard jutting out from under its half-closed trunk lid.

Elena pulled into the space and turned the engine off before she noticed Philip Cameron standing beside the Buick talking with another man. Julie and her new friend Chris hopped out and began untying the surfboards they’d lashed to her roof. Elena remained rooted to her seat her eyes on Philip and the other man.

Maybe she should have guessed he would be here, considering he was the one who’d mentioned this beach and the fact that it would be a good weekend for surfing. But parked right next to her? What were the chances?

Their history was so entwined with days spent at the shore and nights spent making love in the sand, it was hard to quell the sudden pounding of her pulse or the heat rising in her cheeks. Retreat looked pretty good right about now, but it was too late for that. She gulped in a steadying breath and climbed out of the car.

Philip glanced over, then did a classic double take. The other man, apparently realizing he’d lost Philip’s attention, turned her way as well. He was shorter than Philip, but with the same honed physique and close-cropped hair. His wetsuit hung half off and he’d obviously been in the water. He turned back to Philip, gestured toward the beach with one hand, and a moment later, he angled off across the parking lot with his surfboard under one arm.

“Imagine meeting you here!” Philip said as he approached. He glanced at Julie and Chris who now had their boards off the roof and were ready to head to the beach. “Who’s the kid with Julie?”

“Hi, Sergeant Cameron,” Julie interrupted with a broad smile on her face. “The kid is Chris Parker. Chris, this is my mom’s friend, Gunnery Sergeant Cameron.”

“Nice to meet you, sir.” Chris leaned forward to offer his hand.

Philip shook Chris’s hand and grimaced. Elena winced inwardly, knowing Philip’s hand wouldn’t have recovered completely from the workout on the P-bars. Chris was on the tennis team, and his grip was probably even more exuberant than Julie’s.

Philip pointed at the surfboards. “My buddy says the waves are pretty good. Just be careful of the rip at the north end of the beach.”

“Got it,” Julie said as she headed toward the beach with Chris close behind.

Elena started to issue more warnings about being careful, but then held her tongue. No point in puncturing Julie’s good mood with cautions she’d ignore anyway. She turned back to Philip who was hauling his board out of the Buick’s trunk.

“Somehow this car doesn’t seem like you.” A far cry from the Harley he used to ride and that she’d loved.

“It’s my mother’s.”

“Why are you driving your mother’s car?” she asked as she reached for her tote and the cooler with their lunch.

“So Mom can zip around Tide’s Way in my red-hot Camaro convertible and feel young again.” Philip reached to take the tote. “Seriously? You have to ask? We swapped for a few weeks when it became obvious I wasn’t going to be able to handle a manual transmission right off.”

“I should have guessed.” Elena ignored Philip’s offer and hiked her tote over her shoulder. But I’d have thought by now . . . ” By now, he should have been able to shift his sporty Camaro. Unless he’d done more damage than she’d thought.

“Next trip to Tide’s Way,” Philip said as he picked up his board and grabbed her cooler before she could. “You don’t surf?”

“Of course I do,” Elena replied, suddenly feeling a little breathless. Out here in this neutral setting, the undeniable attraction she could no longer pretend she didn’t feel was even more dangerous. The mantra of Philip being her patient wasn’t working, and every feminine part of her anatomy that had been dormant for too long was taking notice. She hurried ahead so his arm would stop brushing against her shoulder, triggering alarming waves of temptation. “Our boards are still packed away down at my brother’s place. Chris loaned Julie one of his.”

She stopped walking again and scanned the beach for Julie and Chris.

“Over there.” Philip jerked his head to the right where Julie was shucking her shorts while Chris let her balance herself with one hand on his shoulder. “I guess things must be going a little better for Julie. She’s found a boyfriend already.”

“He’s a tennis buddy. Not a boyfriend.”

Philip raised his eyebrows as if he was challenging her.

“She’s not old enough for boyfriends yet.”

Philip’s expression didn’t change. “How old were you when you had your first crush?”

“I wasn’t twelve,” Elena stated flatly. In truth, she hadn’t been all that much older than Julie was now. Heat began to creep up her neck. She’d met Brad the summer her father died. And Brad had very quickly filled the aching void in her life.

“Bet Chris isn’t twelve either.” Philip smirked. Then his face sobered and his gaze grew serious. “Maybe you should talk to Julie about the things teenage boys’ minds tend to dwell on at that age.”

Elena wanted to deny Philip’s suggestion, but then she glanced back toward her daughter. Just in time to see Chris pull Julie up against his lean body and kiss her. On the mouth. She gaped at the spectacle.

Brad hadn’t been the first boy Elena ever kissed, but he had taken her virginity. The summer she’d been missing her dad and had been desperate to be someone special again, even if the new man in her life was still a boy himself.

Was Julie filling a similar void?

“She won’t like it if you embarrass her,” Philip warned, grabbing Elena’s arm as she started in her daughter’s direction.

“When did you get to be such an expert on teenage girls?” She shook off the restraining hand.

“I’m not,” Philip admitted with a shrug and a grin. “I’m guessing.”

Elena sank down onto her knees. Philip was right. Damn it. Julie would be furious if Elena said anything about her behavior in front of Chris. But she was only twelve.

Wasn’t there enough to deal with right now? Julie’s sullen anger about the move. Her open criticism of the divorce. All the while Elena was trying to establish her reputation in a new place, at a new job she’d been exceedingly lucky to land. And trying to keep her feelings for Philip in check. And now her daughter was growing up way too fast. And flaunting it.

Admittedly, Julie didn’t look twelve. She had long legs and a slender waist that contrasted far too well with the pert young breasts so nicely displayed in a bikini Elena had never seen before. She looked, Elena felt a little sick, fifteen going on twenty.

Without ever looking Elena’s way, Julie picked up her borrowed board and headed toward the water. Chris hesitated a moment, then followed her.

Philip tugged the old blanket out of the top of Elena’s tote and spread it out. He set the cooler on one corner and her tote on another. Then he stretched out on the other side without asking her permission. He patted the empty space next to him.

“Cool your jets, Mom. They can’t get into any trouble surfing. At least, not the kind of trouble you’re brooding about.”

“I’m not brooding.”

“Worrying, then?”

Elena moved onto the blanket and sat hugging her knees. Brooding . . . worrying . . . whatever he wanted to call it, she was doing it.

“She’s just a kid.”

“But she’s a smart kid. Like her mom.”

Except Elena hadn’t been all that smart back then. Otherwise, she’d never have hooked up with Brad before either of them were mature enough for that kind of intimacy. She hadn’t been smart at eighteen either. Having dated no one but Brad for all of high school, she’d promised herself she would play the field in college. Yet she’d hopped into Eli’s bed a month after starting her first semester.

Then she’d completely thrown herself at Philip when he’d been trying to behave himself. Was there something wrong with her? Was Julie just like her? Or would Julie be smarter, and more sensible?

“You want me to have a word with Chris?”

Elena shook her head. Julie might accept such interference from Eli, but—

Elena swallowed a sudden obstruction in her throat. But not from Philip. Or her mother.

“You want a sandwich?” Elena forced herself to look away from the two young people paddling their way out into the surf.

“I ate before I came,” Philip answered, pulling his T-shirt off and flopping back onto the blanket. “I’m just waiting for it to digest.”

His broad shoulders and solid chest with that sprinkling of crisp golden curls drew her gaze like a magnet. The cross she’d given him glittered on the end of the chain where it hung down toward his armpit, and a flood of memories she’d been trying to keep buried surged into sharp relief.

That long-hidden piece of herself wanted to reach out and touch him. To feel, even briefly, the fiery connection they’d once shared. She didn’t like to admit how naïve she’d been back then. How totally she’d fallen for him. She especially didn’t like to recall how brazen she’d been about inviting intimacy. But in spite of all the denials, her thirty-four-year-old self was just as eager, and almost as willing, to rush in blindly.

“Have you been to the range yet?” she asked, trying to divert the direction her thoughts had taken. It might be easier to banish the ache and need growing in her belly if she kept her mind on his desire to be gone as soon as possible and her role in that plan.

He sat up, his shoulder touching hers as he wrapped his arms about his own knees. “You doubt it?”

She shivered and something fluttered in her chest. “How did it go?”
Stay focused. He’s your patient and he’s eager to be gone again.

“Are you cold?” He sounded surprised.

She shook her head, trying to ignore the quickening of her pulse.

Philip reached for his towel and draped it about her shoulders. The warmth of it just added to the fact of his nearness. Even worse, the scent of his aftershave seemed to envelope her. Scent was a powerful thing in the world of memories, and right now, it was triggering a response she hadn’t felt in years. A response so strong her heart ached.

“It went better than I expected,” Philip answered, seemingly unaware of the synapses firing in her brain. He reached out to fill his hand with sand, and then watched it drain through his parted fingers. “I qualified with both the Beretta and the M40. I didn’t want to push my luck, so I decided to wait a bit on the big guns.” He wiggled the now-empty fingers.

Philip turned his head and peered into her eyes. “Your magic made it possible.”

“I think it was more about your stubbornness.” She forced lightness into her reply.

He laughed. “Maybe. But I think it was more than just me being impatient.”

“It was you being good at what you do.” She didn’t want to think about the things he did well. Either in combat or in bed.

“What was Eli like?”

Philip’s question came out of the blue and made her catch her breath. Her brain scrambled to shift gears.

“He was. . . . He was a good friend, but—”
He wasn’t you
.

“But?” Philip fingered the hem of his swim shorts. The fact that he suddenly seemed as nervous as she was helped her to gather her thoughts and tamp down the emotions that threatened to swamp her.

She forced herself to look away from the fidgeting fingers and hunted instead for Julie in the cluster of heads waiting for a wave.

“He’s a good man,” she answered finally. “He’s honest and caring. He’s smart. He’s a professor and he’s published a whole series of espionage novels. He’s working on a new project now, but—” She glanced back at Philip. “But that’s not what you wanted to know, is it?

Philip shook his head slightly. He looked off toward the water, then back at her. “Was he good to you?”

“Better than I deserved.”

“Somehow, I doubt that.” His smile was fleeting and strained.

“Not counting Meg, Eli was probably the best friend I ever had. But I—I didn’t love him. Not like a wife should love her husband.”

“I’m sorry,” Philip said softly.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she whispered back. It wasn’t Philip’s fault that she’d still been so in love with him that she hadn’t been able to give herself to Eli with an undivided heart.

Philip’s incredibly blue eyes clouded with an emotion she couldn’t decipher, but neither could she look away. Even as he closed the distance between them, and it became obvious he was going to kiss her.

Eli and what hadn’t been faded. The sounds of waves breaking and rolling up the beach dimmed. Philip’s eyelids drifted shut.

His lips brushed lightly over hers. Once. Then again. His breath fanned over her face, and his sigh was audible.

Drawn like a blossom toward the sun, she leaned into him. His hand cupped the back of her head and this time, his kiss was not fleeting or light. His mouth opened over hers, and sensation rocketed through her.

When he lifted his head a moment or an eon later, her senses swam and her heart pounded. She pressed trembling fingers against his bare chest and tears surged into her eyes.

“What happened to us, Elena?” He brushed at her tears, and his voice broke. “What happened?”