Hard to Resist (22 page)

My heart flutters. He’s calling me
babe
. . . in front of his friend? He must really be taking this seriously. At the thought of it, the flutter in my heart pauses. I’m still unnerved by what Bryson said to me earlier. Look what happened to me when I got too serious with him. With Nolan, the same thing can happen. “Sure. I’ll go,” I breathe. It’s honestly too late to back out now.

I’m in deep with Nolan. Too deep.

Nolan stares at me, and for a moment his smile fades. Dawson slumps down on the couch while swiping his finger across the screen of his phone. “Cool. Double date then,” he says without noticing the change of the atmosphere. I can feel it. It’s as heavy as a block of lead.

“Natalie, do you want these in your room?” Nolan asks, gesturing to my shopping bags.

“Yeah.” I nod as I reach for one and make my way towards my room. But as soon as I step in, even before I can flip a switch to turn the light on, Nolan places the shopping bags down and pulls me in by my belt loop. My back hits the wall softly as his breath caresses my lips and my cheeks.

“What’s the matter with you?” he asks.

“Nothing,” I mutter as his fingers curl around my wrists to keep them planted above my head. His nose nuzzles against my cheek before trailing down to the crook of my neck. He plants a soft kiss and I liquefy as his groin presses against me.

“There’s something wrong.”

“I’m fine,” I breathe. His head pulls back to look into my eyes. It’s not completely dark behind my curtains which gives a little light for me to see his face clearly. His eyes are stern, hard. He then drops my arms from above me but it is only to pick me up by my waist. Out of a habit with Nolan, my legs wrap around him. I fall against the wall as he sinks against my chest.

“You gonna tell me or do I have to tease it out of you? You know I’ll do it.”

I gulp. No. Not right now. I can’t take the teasing. But I also don’t want to tell him. Teasing will lead to sex and right now, I don’t need the sex. Right now, I just want to be left alone.

Nolan’s lips press against my chest before his head lifts to look into my eyes. His lips peck mine gently, delicately. I groan just as his tongue slides into my mouth. One of his hands cup around my ass as the other remains hoisted around my waist. He rubs between my legs, causing a friction that will soon drive me crazy. Sooner or later, I’ll want what’s rubbing between my legs, inside of me.

The pleasure runs through me, coursing through my veins. “Natalie,” he breathes. “I meant what I said. All or nothing. Right?”

“Yeah but—”

“No buts,” he says, dropping me out of his arms in an instant. He pushes a hand through his hair before turning to flip the switch. The room illuminates with soft lighting but his eyes remain glued on mine. “Is it really that hard for you to open up to me?”

My face falls into a slant. It’s not that it’s hard to me, I just don’t want to. I don’t want to get too serious. Yes I meant all or nothing, but I didn’t mean every single thing about me. I swear I had myself covered up. How can he tell that something wrong?

“You’re transparent,” he mumbles. “I see right through you now. Even though I don’t know what you’re thinking, I can feel it. Is it about yesterday, at the beach? About your friend that I hit? If so, I’m sorry Natalie. I swear I won’t do it again. I was just—”

“No,” I say, cutting his sentence short. I step towards him until I am close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body. “It’s not that.” I then cup a hand around his jawline. The hardness in his eyes softens and turns into shame.

“I seriously don’t know what to do with myself while I’m with you Natalie. I’m honestly trying my hardest not to fuck up.”

“You’re not fucking up! It’s not you.”

“Then what is it?” he asks through a ragged breath. “I swear I feel like it’s me sometimes. You won’t open up to me. How else am I supposed to know?”

“Okay.” I pull my hands away from him and square my shoulders. He’s right. I have to give something. I can’t continue to hide things from him. It will only turn him away from me . . . and right now, I need him. I need everything about him. “At the mall, I ran into someone that I wasn’t expecting to see . . .”

Nolan’s forehead creases but his eyes don’t drift from mine. I wait for him to say something but his face says enough. It’s telling me to continue. To keep going.

“It was my ex, Nolan.”

In almost an instant, he jerks away from me. “Did you do something with him?” he asks.

“No!” I shout as he takes a step back. “I fucking hate him. I saw him and I . . . I broke down.” My head shakes swiftly as the memories flood. The burning in my eyes forces me to tear my gaze away from his.

“Whoa—Natalie. What did he do to you?” he asks, taking a step towards me.

“He didn’t do anything. That’s the point. Seeing him was enough to hurt me again.”

Nolan pauses and an uncomfortable silence rings in my ears. I steal a peek at him but his eyes are hard on me, refusing to look anywhere else. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why is he down here?”

“He came down here . . . with Mark. The guy that you fought at the beach.”

A resemblance of midnight shades his irises. “You knew your ex was down here?”

“Yes, but I didn’t want to tell you. I was hoping to avoid him,” I plead.

“Natalie—” Nolan breaks off as his head turns to look out of the window. “How would you feel if I hid things from you? How would you feel if my ex was down here and I ran into her?”

“I don’t know—”

“You’d be pissed, right? You’d hate me and say that I’m a liar and a player because I didn’t tell you. You would blame me.” He steps in to cup my jawline. He strokes the flesh behind my ears while keeping my head tilted up so my eyes can’t look anywhere else but into his. “I want this,” he says against my lips. “I want it to work. But it can’t if you don’t open up to me. Let me in, Natalie. I swear I won’t break you.”

As my head shakes, my chest tightens. I force myself to bite my lip to prevent any of my tears from spilling. But I can’t help it. He’s causing them to pour out of me. I feel the warmth trickling against my cheeks but his lips move forward to stop them. He kisses my tears away then leans down to kiss my lips.

His hands stay firm around my face as his lips crush mine. I taste the saltiness of my tears but I feel the passion more. He really means it. He really wants this. To think that Nolan was only kidding in the beginning. By this kiss, I am completely fooled. He’s putting a ton of effort into this kiss. This one kiss alone, feels like a million. Perhaps, not even that.

He pulls back and my eyes shut briefly. “Look at me, Natalie,” he breathes.

I shake my head. I can’t look at him. I seriously want to break down completely.

His smooth lips press against mine again and cause my eyelids to open slowly. I stare into the mystic grey of his. They’re soft, with an edge of steel. His thumb strokes the corner of my mouth as he smiles down at me. He finally pulls his hands away to pull me against him, allowing no space between us. “I’m not mad at you. I understand. I told you, I’m working with you, not against you. Just as you are working with me. I know you’ll open up one day and I promise I won’t rush it.”

I smile, pressing my ear against his chest to listen to his steady heartbeat. He kisses my hair sweetly as the warmness of his breath tickles me.

Somehow, I know that he means it.

Chapter Twenty-Two

“Alright, Nolan. You have to provide me with some kind of scoop,” I say before taking a bite of my soft cinnamon pretzel. “I haven’t gotten any details on you besides what you like to do and what you want to major in. Tell me about your family. Your brother.”

Nolan sighs with a half smirk while taking a sip of his lemonade through the straw. We begin to walk towards the sunset as the water ripples and the seagulls caw. A few boats and yachts are parked against the docks and a few men are turning in for the day. I stare out past the ripples of the water to take in the peace. The sun is sitting on the horizon as the sky blankets with a twist of gold and pink. There is a hint of orange behind the sun but all together, it creates a collection of beauty. With the waves crashing, it almost seems like the water is made of dark, exotic crystals.

“How about this,” Nolan says. “I tell you a fact of my life, you tell me a fact of yours. We’ll make it a game.”

“Okay,” I nod, my mouth half-full with the sweet pretzel. “It’s only fair. I’ll bite.”

“Alright. Ask me a question and I’ll answer honestly.”

I ponder on it as we meet at the thick wooden rails. We stare ahead as the soft breeze brushes against us. “Where were you born?”

“San Francisco, California.”

“Oh wow,” I breathe. “What made you want to move all the way over here?”

He pauses as a smile hints at his lips. “I think it’s my turn for a question. One at a time, babe.”

My cheeks spark as I tear my gaze away.

“But if you really want an answer, I moved here to get away from everything . . . everyone. My mother made the wrong decision. She chose a man over her own kids. It’s completely fucked up on her behalf but my brother and I swore that if she chose him over us, we were moving to the other side of America. We took it to the extreme, considering that we’re now in Miami. We were pretty literal.”

I nod. “So you live with your brother here?”

“Yup.” Nolan’s eyes don’t shift from the body of water ahead. I really want him to go into more depth but I know that I’ll be pushing it. He probably doesn’t like to talk about it. “My turn,” he says, finally looking at me. His eyes scan me as a small smile weaves its way to his lips. “What made you want to move to Miami?”

“I wanted to get away.”

“From?”

“My ex.” I pause. Although I did want to get away from Bryson, that isn’t the only reason why I decided to move here. “And from my parents.”

His gaze grows quizzical. “Why your parents?”

I sigh and just thinking about what they’re going through makes my heartbeat slow in progress. “I feel like the only reason that they were still together is because they didn’t want to disappoint me. I left because I wanted to see if things would change without me.”

“Did things change?” he asks.

“Yeah. For the worst.” My eyebrows stitch. “I haven’t heard from my dad in a few days. I take it as a sign that he’s finally giving up. I called my mom to see if she would provide any answers on what’s going on between them but she always rushes me off the phone. She never allows me enough time to ask. I know she’s busy but she can’t be
that
busy.”

“Oh.” Nolan’s lips seal. I know for sure that he doesn’t want to touch that subject. And neither do I. I can’t think about it right now. My only hope is that this situation between them is only temporary.

“So, my turn again.” I take a bite of my pretzel and swallow to block the dryness in my throat. “What are your biggest dreams?” I smile, hoping that he will lighten up on the mood with me.

Luckily, he does. Reaching to push a hand through his hair, he turns to face me, leaning his elbow on the railing to sturdy himself into a lean. “My biggest dreams?” he asks. “Well, one of them is to hopefully be noticed by a crowd. I don’t want to be famous. I just want to be known. I want to leave a mark in this world. I already travel a lot with my brother Mills so that would be no big deal.” His eyes drift from mine to his pressed khaki’s. I study the way his features soften, and while looking at him, I realize why his softened features seem so familiar. He’s a dream-chaser, just as I am. Just as my father is. He wants his dreams to come true.