Guided Love (Prick #1) (35 page)

“Is she okay?”

“She has been struggling. Come, let’s go into the kitchen—she can't hear anything from the kitchen.”

We walk into the kitchen where everything is the same as I remember. Axel pulls out a chair for me and I take a seat and watch as he takes two bottles of water out of the refrigerator. He walks back to me, sitting across from me at the table.

“So, Axel, talk to me, what happened?”

He tells me about the incident that happened the day I made the best seller list. I told him that she was a bit odd on the phone but she sounded normal to me, nothing out of the ordinary. He then starts to tell me what happened the next day.

“I stayed here with her, that night, just to make sure she wouldn't walk out of the house again. I didn't get much sleep that night, as you can imagine, and when she woke up, I was already in the kitchen making breakfast. She came in like everything was normal. When I asked her what happened last night, she looked off into space. I knew she had no idea what I was talking about, but she just patted my hand and told me that it wouldn't happen again. When she went to garden, instead of going to her walking group, I knew something was wrong. So I called the doctor and asked if we could get her in. Doctor Boonin was great and gave her an appointment for that morning. When I took her in, he checked her over and had a nurse come in to talk with her while I went to speak with him in his office. Luckily, Ma has me down as her Power of Attorney and Doctor Boonin had that noted so he was able to discuss her diagnosis with me. Ma went to the doctor, about a year ago, because she was becoming forgetful and she thought that she was suffering some side effects of her medication, yet that wasn't it. He actually diagnosed her with dementia. It was something she never told me, if I would have known I wouldn't have allowed her to stay here all alone, ya know.”

“I know, Axel, I lived here for two weeks, honey, and I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. She was her feisty self.”

“Well, what he said was that from the last time he saw her and compared to now, she went from what they would call a level one to a level five.”

“Okay, what does this all mean? How many levels are there and what can we do to help her stop increasing the levels?”

Shaking his head, he brings his hands through his hair and exhales. I could feel the tension rolling off him.

“There is nothing that is going to stop this. He said that with the late diagnosis and the fast pace it is taking, there really isn't much that can stop this. There are seven levels and with each level, they lose more. Right now, she just sits quietly and looks around. She sometimes will look at me and see me, remember me, ya know. Those moments are rare, but I soak them in. The doctor said that she wrote her wishes down and she doesn't want life support.”

“What do you mean?”

I am so nervous for what he is about to say to me, I grab the water and start to guzzle it down.

“What he explained was she doesn't want a feeding tube or IV’s and this disease is going to have her body shut down with no nutrition. She will become weak and I am not going to be able to do anything about it.”

I’m out of my seat and in front of him in a flash. I wrap my arms around his neck, bringing his head to my chest as he is still sitting. Axel wraps his arms around my waist and just holds onto me. I lower my head to bring my chin to the top of his head and whisper to him, “You are going to be okay. Axel, we will handle this, all right. I’m going to help you the entire time.”

He doesn't say anything, he just pulls me onto his lap and continues to hold me tight. We sit there for a few moments and then his hold loosens a bit. I get up and walk back to my seat, but I don't sit, I just stand there and look at him.

“Samantha, thank you.”

“For what?”

“For coming here and helping me, well, for helping Ma.”

I turn my head to the side and he gives me a weak smile.

“Axel, I came here to help you with Ellie. I even brought Gabby along because she’s more than willing to help with the shop and anything that you need her to do. We are here for you, okay?”

He nods at me, lowers his head, and looks down at his hands. He takes a deep breath and looks at me again.

“I am going to head to my hotel. I’ll be here bright and early, alright?”

“That sounds great.”

I start to walk towards the door and I can feel Axel behind me, he continues with me and opens the front door. I am about to turn around but I feel him put his hand on my lower back, guiding me to the rental car. I hit unlock, open the door, and am about to get in when I feel Axel grab my hand. He tugs me towards him, and I look up at him and he has pure appreciation in his eyes. It looks like he isn’t as worried as he was when I first arrived.

“Thank you again, Samantha. I can't believe that you came. I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to thank you enough for this.”

“Axel, you and Ellie are important to me, I’ll always be here to help you.”

He pulls me into another hug and I wrap my arms around him— damn, his body is rock solid and feels so good. He lowers his mouth to my ear and whispers, “You are very important to me, too.”

I look up and smile before I get into the car.

He has his hands on the door and is about to close it when he says his goodbye.

“I’m happy you’re here, Samantha.”

“Me too. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Alright, drive safe and send a text to let me know that you got to your hotel, okay?”

“Will do. See you in the morning.”

The door is almost shut when he opens it once again and lowers his body to where he is eye level with me.

“Samantha, you look incredible. You always did but, damn, you left me speechless.” He winks at me, shuts my door, walks to the front of the car, and watches me back out. I wave and start to head down the street when I notice him turn to walk to the front door.

Damn, that man can make me feel hopeful. I head back to the hotel, trying to stop myself from smiling, while I try to keep my mind on why I am here. Yet, my mind just wants to go back to the way he leaned in and said that I look incredible and how he whispered that I was important to him. The drive was quick and I head to our room and make sure that I text Axel.

I am up and back at Ellie’s by six in the morning. When I knock on the door, Axel answers and looks like he was run over by a truck in the night. To my surprise, he smiles and wraps me into a hug—a great, strong bear hug and I can't help but breathe him in.

“Morning, Samantha,” he whispers in my ear as he kisses my cheek. My heart actually starts to race with such a simple gesture.

“Morning, Axel, how was the night? You look exhausted.”

I walk in and follow him to the kitchen where he has eggs and bowls of cereal.

“It was a long night because she had a few episodes. I finally calmed her down to fall asleep around three. Now, I am making her usual breakfast, but she wants cereal and she is asking for something I have never heard of . . . I was trying to figure out what I was going to do, all she has in the cupboard is Cheerios and she wants some type of corn flakes.” He looks utterly panicked as he is telling me this.

“Sit down, Axel. I’ll take care of this okay. Is she in her bedroom?”

“Yeah, she normally stays in there now, since she doesn't recognize the house and where she is.”

I pat his hand, just like Ellie does, and give him a wink.

“Okay, get some coffee or go lie on the couch and get some shut eye.”

With that, I walk past him, heading towards Ellie's room. As I am approaching, I get a little nervous since I don't know what to expect. I googled dementia and read a bunch of scary comments about how some with this disease can become very violent and hard to control, but I just take a deep breath, knock on the door, and slowly open it. My heart drops when I see the woman sitting in her armchair. The vibrant 84-year-old woman, who was filled with life, isn't the woman sitting in the chair. Normally, Ellie is up, dressed in her neon pink walking suit, with her hair and makeup done. Sitting in front of me is Ellie, but she looks weak and lost. Her hair is a mess and she is still in her blue robe. She looks up at me and there is no recognition, so I just smile and walk toward her.

“Good morning, Ellie.”

She gives me a small smile and just looks out the window.

“Wanted to see if you needed any help getting dressed this morning.” I walk behind her chair and start to brush my hand through her hair, to try and tame what is going on with it. “I could help you get your hair done and maybe get your walking suit on. Would that be good with you?” There still is no response so I walk over, bend down, and start to speak to her hoping that if she looks into my eyes she may recognize me. “Ellie, it’s me, Sam. Would you like some breakfast? I can get you dressed and up and ready so that we can dance along to some music before breakfast. Is that alright?” She turns her head and looks at me. She is studying me, trying to figure who I am—I can see it in her eyes.

“Hello.” She smiles at me and is waiting.

She hasn't really heard anything I just said, so I smile and say hello back. I get her pink walking suit out along with a brush that I have run under the water so that I can try to make her presentable. Ellie would want to be presentable. When I start to get her dressed, she is very helpful and cooperative. I did her hair and then heard a soft knock on the door. I locked the door when I got her clothes out just so Axel didn't walk in. I wanted her to feel that it was just the two of us and not get confused with “new” people walking into her room.

I take Ellie's hand and walk her to the door with me.

“Ellie, let’s go get some breakfast, okay?”

She has her head down and slowly looks up at me with her eyes that look lost, yet again. She just nods at me and I open the door and see that Axel wasn't standing there anymore, but I hear him in the kitchen. While walking down to the kitchen, I keep telling her that she was with me and I was going to be right there with her—there was no reason to be scared. She just kept her head down and held my hand.

When we enter the kitchen, Axel is by the refrigerator. When he hears us, he turns around and the shock on his face is laughable. He looks at me and I see all the questions in his eyes. I smile and shake my head and pull out the chair for Ellie. As she sits, she still keeps her head down.

“Ellie, look, Axel is here to have breakfast with us.”

Again, slowly Ellie raises her head and looks between us and just smiles and says, “Hello.”

“Hi, Ma, you look good this morning. Want some breakfast?”

“I'm Ellie. Yes, I would love some corn flakes.”

I pat her hand and walk towards Axel who now has a look of despair on his face. I can see that her correcting him on her name gutted him, but I grab his hand and whisper to him that it will be okay. He gives me a weak smile, turns around, and sets a bowl of cheerios in front of her. She smiles up at him like a child on Christmas morning, then she looks down and takes a bite. The silence is a bit overwhelming so I walk over to Ellie’s radio and press play.
Unchained Melody
starts up and I am shocked as I was expecting some Hip Hop to be playing. I start to sing along to myself while Axel and I clean up the kitchen while she eats. I am washing the pans from the eggs that Axel attempted to make when I hear her.

“Axel, my boy, you can't just stand there. Go grab Sam and twirl her around like Pa did with me. You remember this is our song, now, you can dance with Sam and it can be your song. Go on . . . chop chop.”

I turn around and see Ellie is at the table looking at Axel and he is standing there with tears in his eyes. He shakes them off, looks at me, grabs my hand, and pulls me to him. With my hand in his and his other around my waist, he dances with me in the kitchen while Ellie smiles up at us. I pull back and look into his eyes. He smiles and mouths, “Thank You,” to me and pulls me closer. I close my eyes and take it all in.

“Give her a twirl, Axel. Yep, that’s it and now a good dip.” She is smiling and you see the love she has for her boy. It’s there right across her face. When the song ends, she is clapping and gets up and walks to us.

“You are a wonderful man, Axel Davis, a wonderful man.”

When Axel bends down and hugs her, I see he is holding her so tight, it looks like he is going to break her in half.

“I love you, Ma.”

She starts to giggle, pulls back, and pats his cheek. “I love you, too, my boy. Why do you look so sad? Don't be sad.” She turns and walks to the sink and stands there for a few moments.

“Ellie, you okay?” I touch her shoulder and she looks at me with tears in her eyes.

“I don't know. I don't know what I was going to do.”

She is shaking her head at me, looks up, and smiles still with tears in her eyes.

“Hello.” I can feel the tears that are pooling in my eyes because Ellie is lost again, but we had her for a few moments.

“Hello, Ellie. Come on, darling, I am going to take you back to your room, okay.”