Guided Love (Prick #1) (31 page)

“Ma'am . . . ma'am, put your bag on the belt, please, and walk through.”

I am snapped out of my thoughts of what just happened. The little man standing there with his wand is getting a bit impatient with me. I don't know how long I was standing there ignoring him, but damn, if he only knew what just happened to me. I put my bag on the conveyer belt and walk through the detectors. All clear. I grab my bag and head toward my gate. I find a seat, when I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket. I pull it out and see a message from Axel.

Axel: Samantha text me to let me know you have landed

I can't help but smile at this message; at the same time I have knots in my stomach. Why did he kiss me like that? I mean, I could say that maybe he just was giving a goodbye kiss, but to get all deep and really make out with me in the airport; ugh, I know I have to just stop and not analyze this. I hit reply and send a simple:

Will do Axel thanks again for everything.

I open my bag, shut down my phone, and throw it in. I see the envelope that Camaron gave to me yesterday; I grab and look at it. On the front,
Sam
is written in black marker. I take a deep breath and start to tear it open. It can't be worse than yesterday, right? I mean, we said our goodbyes and I have to be strong and move on. I grab the paper and unfold it. I cry when I see what it is. There are pictures of Camaron and me together. One of us at his fifth grade graduation, us at a middle school dance, Camaron and me at his senior prom, which has a note stapled to it and the last one was taken when I went off to college. I look at the paper they were wrapped in and there is a small note.

Sam,

I know I fucked up and I know that I have said I am sorry a million times and I won’t stop apologizing until you forgive me. I know you say that you need to be away—that we need to find ourselves; but, Sam, I am not me without you. You have been a part of me since elementary. Every event that has happened to me, from a simple dance to college graduations and me opening my business, you have always been there cheering me on. I fucked up our friendship but know I am going to do everything and anything I can to make it right again. Don't forget to remember us. Camaron and Samantha, the two who faced everything together, side by side. Don't let what I did end this. Please, I am begging you; I’ll be here waiting. When you are ready, call or message me. I am always here for you, Sam, always. I am not me without you.

Xoxo

Camaron

I fold the paper back up and sit and look at all the pictures again. Those times were so much easier: two kids who were going to be friends forever. Now, things have gotten so screwed up and we have fallen apart. I hear my flight being called and I stand and get on board. I buckle up and keep looking down at these photos.

I am sitting next to Camaron’s mom and dad in the gym of our school. Tonight, Camaron is graduating from the fifth grade. We are on the bleachers listening to the fifth grade band. I know that listening to this noise I’ll never be part of the band, even Camaron told me that he would give me a nooggie if I thought about joining it. Our principal claps as do all of the parents and families when the band is done and announces that it’s time to conclude with handing out the certificates to the students. When it’s finally Camaron's turn I jump up and down cheering like a loon. Camaron’s mom tries to get me to stop making a scene but I can't I am so happy that my best friend is on his way to being in middle school. Yep, I am going to be best friends with a middle schooler. Camaron hears me and waves to me from the stage. He has a smile on his face that makes me looking like a loon all worth it. The ceremony is over and now we are going out to get dinner. Camaron gets to choose as it’s his big night, but I know he will choose pizza because it’s my favorite and he always chooses my favorite. He comes from the hallway to his mom and dad where they hug him and his dad messes his hair. He rolls his eyes at them and then nudges me with his shoulder. “Hey, Sam, thanks for all the cheers it was awesome.”

“You’re my best friend of course I would cheer for you.”

“Best friends forever.” He wraps his arm around my shoulder and says, “Come on, squirt, let’s go get some pizza.” I knew he would pick pizza, just another reason why I absolutely adore him.

I look like a crazy lady with tears streaming down my face and I can't catch my breath. The little old lady sitting next to me tries to smile and pat my hand, telling me the flight is gonna be okay and a simple gesture makes me think of Ellie; damn, I’m going to miss all of them. What am I doing? Where did I screw everything up? What’s wrong with me? I fell in love with my best friend and lost him. I lost a friendship that I never thought would end, but when it comes down to it, I lost myself and I have no clue where to start to find me again.

The plane lands and I am headed to baggage claim when I see Gabby jumping up and down, waving at me. I can't help but smile and shake my head, she is insane, but that is why I love her. She knows who she is and she isn't afraid to show it. I let out an “umph” when she wraps her arms around me.

“Sam, you’re home! Welcome back, chica. How was your flight?”

“It was great, didn't even realize that we landed.”

I grab my bags and head to Gabby's car and head to her place. It’s weird being back in California—beautiful, yes, but a little weird. Gabby is great, she already had a bedroom suite in her guest room so that saves me some cash as I won’t need to go and get one. I left all of my stuff for Carrie at Camaron’s.

“Don't take this the wrong way, Sam, but you look like shit.”

I laugh at her bluntness. I laugh so hard I can't even respond. I see Gabby laughing along with me but she is looking at me like I lost it. Yep, I am really pulling off this crazy lady image.

“Thanks, Gabs, please, don't hold back here.”

“Sorry, but it’s true. You look so . . . empty.”

“I feel empty. I need to figure out who I am again. I mean, honestly, I am so fucked up I never thought I would be here, ya know?”

“Be here in California?”

“No, I mean I didn't think I would ever be so empty. I had a plan and the plan failed and I am left not knowing who I am without it.”

“Okay, Sam, here is the deal. We get you unpacked, we order in some Chinese and then eat some ice cream and tonight, and tonight only, I listen to what happened . . . everything. Tomorrow is a new day and you, my friend, will be a new woman. The woman that you are meant to be and if you don't know who that is, we find her, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks, Gabs.”

“No thanks needed, babe. Come on, let’s get you unpacked.”

I unpack all of my bags and Gabby orders in. I am in my room looking through the photos once again. Yeah, I know I am a glutton for punishment, right? When she walks in with all the food. I move everything off my bed and we sit on my bed with a smorgasbord of food. She left nothing out, she ordered all the dishes that we consider comfort food. I start from the beginning and tell her all about the Pricks and the shop. I tell her about Carrie and Ellie and how Axel was there each and every time something went down. I don’t leave out all the drama I had with Roni and Cam and how it hurt that he covered the tattoo and then called out that she was his anchor. Gab sits there and listens, which is hard for her since she is always so honest; especially when it comes to Camaron. When I tell her about sleeping with Camaron and how he reacted or how he didn't react to me; yeah, that is when she broke out the ice cream: Ben and Jerry's double chocolate. I expect myself to cry or at least tear up telling her about it, but I don’t. I just continue with the time at Ellie's and the bucket list. She loves the idea and vows that she, too, is going to make one and we will start living our lives and checking off our buckets. My phone starts to buzz and I grab my purse off my floor and see that I have a message from Axel.

Axel: Hey Sam just checking in to make sure that you landed.

Me: Hi Axel yes I am so sorry I forgot to message my phone was still on airplane mode and then I started to unpack. I made it here I’m alive

Axel: Good to know, just thought you already forgot us here

Me: Never, I actually was just talking about you.

Axel: Oh were you? Good things I hope ;)

Me: Nothing but good things.

Axel: Good :)

“Who is that?”

I look up and see Gabs looking at me with her spoon hanging from her mouth. “Just a message from Axel. I was supposed to message him when I landed to let them know I made it here safe.”

“What is he saying that has you smiling like that?”

I look up again at her and immediately stop smiling. “What do you mean? I am not smiling. He just asked if I made it is all.”

Damn, she is right I was smiling I was really smiling like a school girl. Ugh, there is seriously something messed up with me.

“
Okay, whatever, you are so lying to me right now.”

I don't know what to say or how to reply, so I throw my pillow at her, close the phone, and start eating my ice cream. With a mouthful of ice cream, I end my story with telling her about the photos that Camaron gave me, how I cried when I looked at them and then I tell her how Axel kissed me.

“Get out!” Gabby throws the pillow back at me and hits me in the head.

“Stop, it was nothing. He was just saying goodbye; it didn't mean anything.”

“Whatever, you little brat! Do you have a pic of this guy? I need to see him.”

I start laughing and she grabs my phone from me and starts to go through my pics.

“Okay, which one is he? Let me guess, he is the freaking gorgeous one with the dark hair and beard.”

She stops on the photo I had Gina snap of all the pricks at Kester's. Well, everyone but Camaron; he was never there with us. Carrie is sitting next to Paul, his arm is around her shoulder, Allen has his arm around my shoulder, standing behind them, and Axel is to my right. He is looking at me rather than the camera and Jay is standing next to Allen, flipping the bird behind Paul’s head.

“Yep, that is him. Seriously, Gab, it was nothing believe me. He is such a great person and he is so freaking nice. He is honestly the nicest person you may ever meet.”

“What the hell ever, have you looked at this picture? The man is freaking staring at you in this picture. It actually looks like he wants to rip the arm off the hottie who has his arm around you. Who is that?”

“That there is Allen.”

“Allen? Yummy. You actually worked with these guys? Damn, you were one lucky chica, babe. It’s funny though.”

“What’s so funny?”

“Look at this pic, Sam. You have four tattooed hotties and a girl that is rocking her purple hair and has ink all up her arms and then, boom. There you are standing next to them wearing a cardigan.” Gabby starts snorting at this she can’t stop laughing.

“Yeah, I did stick out like a sore thumb, right? That’s why they called me Rice Cake, or RC, because I was so plain.” That just sent Gabby over the edge. She rolls around my bed, grabbing her stomach “It hurts, it hurts, Rice Cake.” She is insane it’s not THAT funny.

“Well, I am happy to say I am no longer plain.”

That stops her laughing. She sits up and looks right at me. “What do you mean you aren't plain anymore? Did you get something pierced?”

“Really? Something pierced? No, dip shit, I got a tattoo.”

“Bullshit, you hate needles.”

I pull up my sleeve and show her the beautiful tattoo that Axel gave me. His words, the words that truly touch my heart each and every time that I look at them.

“Wow, that is gorgeous. Where did you find that quote?”

I hesitate, as I really don't want to tell her because she will just make it a huge deal.

“I read them on the wall at Ellie's. There was this beautiful ocean scene and those words were written under it.”

“Camaron did a great job, It really looks great, Sam, now I want one. Did it hurt?”

“No, it really didn't hurt, Axel talked to me the entire time he was tattooing—kept my mind off of it.”

“Wait, are you telling me that AXEL gave you this tattoo?”

“Yep, and I got a shirt too.”

At this, I open up my purse and show her the hot pink shirt.

“Wow, that’s cute! Bet you want to be pricked by Axel’s needle somewhere else too, huh?”

Again, I grab the pillow and instead of throwing it at her, I just hit her with it right in the head. That comment right there starts a pillow fight.

“You know it’s true, Sam! Stop hitting me with that damn pillow! STOP!”

I am unstoppable as I keep swinging and laughing, but Gabby is quick, grabs a pillow, and starts to hit me back. We finally stop to our pillows bursting open—feathers are everywhere.

“Way to go, chica! Now we have to hit the Wal-Mart to buy you some pillows.”

I can’t help it, I am laughing so hard. It actually feels nice to just laugh.

“Tomorrow I’ll pick some up. Let me get this place cleaned up and then I am off to bed.”

“Alright, chica, I’ll bring in the vacuum. Tomorrow we start the new chapter, right?”

“Right.”

After cleaning up all of the feathers, I fall on my bed and hit my head on my phone.

“Damn, that hurt.”

I rub my head and the screen to my message to Axel is up. I take a chance and just reply a simple
Goodnight
. Not expecting anything in return, I put on a pair of pajamas and turn off the light. I close my eyes and try to just enjoy this moment. I am trying to not let the fear of tomorrow kill this feeling of hope, but, seriously, it seems to have a hold on me. After what seems like hours of lying in bed, I fade off to sleep.