Guard My Heart (12 page)

“Stay happy, Mia,” he whispers. He turns around and starts
walking to his next class.

With Jase next to me, I felt safe, sheltered from the evil
snarls of terrors that patrol these halls. Now I have to man up and face them
myself. That's a bit more difficult without my normal battle gear on, but I
take a deep breath and walk to my next class. Christopher Thorn and three of
his buddies are standing in front of the door to the classroom.

“Dressing up doesn't change that fact that you’re a skank.
A tiger can’t change its spots,” he says as I shoulder my way in between them.
I don’t bother pointing out that tigers don’t have spots. I don’t want to
confuse the idiot. Instead, I flip him off and sink into my seat. Christopher
was the guy who took me on my first date. We went for a movie and a milkshake.
During the movie, he kept his arm around my shoulders. He smiled at me the
whole time. He made silly jokes and kept me laughing. I was happy. I felt
special. It was perfect. Christopher was the cool guy in high school. All the
guys wanted to be him. All the girls wanted to be with him. The same old
bullshit you have in every school. Christopher was Kyle’s friend and that’s how
we met. After the milkshake, Christopher walked me home. We were holding hands,
swinging them between us happily all the way back home. I was so damn excited
for that first kiss. I was only sixteen, sixteen and stupid. I kept imaging how
he would close his eyes and lean in to kiss me softly but
passionately.

When we stopped under the big old tree on the side of the
house, my heart sped up and my palms felt clammy. When he kissed me, my lips
felt all tingly. When he put his hand on the back of my thigh, I thought it was
okay. When he moved his hand up my skirt, I asked him to stop; he didn't
listen, just kept moving his hand higher. I threatened to scream, and he
finally pushed me away before stalking down the street. I went straight to Kyle
and told him what Christopher did. Maybe I overreacted. Like I said, I was
sixteen, stupid and very dramatic. My first date was just botched.

The next day at school, Kyle punched Christopher in the
face. Christopher didn’t even look my way after that. Now that Kyle is gone,
he’s started calling me names. Telling everybody I made up the story because I
wanted more than one date and he wasn’t interested. He provokes me every chance
he gets. I'm pretty sure he started the whole rumor mill about me and Mom
selling sex.

I sit dead still in my chair, ignoring the pieces of paper
rocketing pass my head and onto my desk. When the insults don’t get a reaction
from me, they start projecting little paper missiles at my hair and desk. I
really hope that’s not what I think it is glistening on the little balls of
mush. I count to ten and try to focus on what the teacher is saying.

“Exams start on Tuesday. Don’t forget. Use the weekend to
study. Class dismissed.”

I grab my bag and make a beeline for the door. I have my
break now and I really need a smoke.

“I wonder who she had to swallow for the new clothes,”
Christopher’s snarky voice calls from behind me. “I bet it was her stepdad,” he
chuckles.

That. Is. It! I've had it with this asshole! I spin around
and head straight for him. I slam my palms into his chest with as much force as
I can muster and spit my words at him, “You can’t compensate for a tiny dick
with insults, Thorn!”

Christopher grabs me by my hair and pulls me off him.

“Don't touch me; I don't know where those hands have
been,” he says. His words drip with disgust. The pull on my hair makes my eyes
water and my blood boil. I kick at his legs, but I miss when he’s suddenly
pulled away from me. Jase pushes Christopher against the wall.

“Didn't your mother ever teach you that men who raise
their hands to women lose them? Don't you ever touch her again!” Jase yells in
his face.

Christopher’s head thumps against the wall on every word.
I grab Jase by the arm. If he gets kicked out, I'm left in this hell hole alone,
again.

“He isn't worth it, Jase,” I say to him softly. Trying to
calm him down.

“Fuck you, Mia, you worthless wh—” Christopher doesn't get
to finish his sentence. Jase flings him down the passage like an old rag. Jase
grabs my hand and leads us outside where he lights a smoke as soon as he sets
his foot on the first step. His hands are shaking and he is breathing hard. I
take his hand and I lead us to the parlor. When I try to pull him inside, he
stops and swings his head from side to side. I let go of his hand and lean
against the brick wall unsure of what to do.

Jase starts pacing. His feet stomping the sidewalk
angrily. He flicks a quick glance at me then looks away again. He paces some
more. My eyes follow his every move. Up and down. Up and down, he walks. He
finally stops in front of me. He takes out his packet of cigarettes and gives it
to me. I light the cigarette but don't smoke it. I'm still watching Jase.

“Are you okay? You didn't have to do that. Christopher is
a dick,” I say. I have the sudden urge to rinse my mouth with battery acid. Both
to rid my mouth of his name and for swearing like a sailor in front of Jase.

“He'll be a dead dick if he ever touches you again.” Jase
takes a deep breath then smiles at me. “It’s your birthday; no asshole talk,”
he says and walks towards the door of the parlor. He holds the door open for me,
and I walk in.

Alec is at his station bent over a client’s arm. It looks
like he is doing some kind of tribal tattoo. Livvy is sitting behind the front
counter doing her nails.

“Happy birthday, Mia!” she beams, handing me the same
bottle of blue nail polish she was using a second ago. The top part has a small
black bow tied to it.

“Uh thanks, Liv,” I say putting the bottle into my bag.

“I'm sorry for using it, but it’s such a nice color. I
couldn't resist. I’ll make it up to you with coffee.” She smiles
happily.

“Sounds like a deal,” I say, laughing and following her to
the kitchen. We make the five cups of coffee and load them onto the tray to
bring back to the guys.

“Happy birthday, baby girl!” Alec says, taking a cup from
the tray. Livvy hands a cup to Jase.

“Thanks, Alec,” I say, smiling back at him.

I put the tray down on the counter. I can’t see the client
Alec was busy with.

“Your client done, Alec?” I ask.

“Nope, he needed a break. He’s out back,” Alec says. I nod
and pick up the coffee to take it to him.

The guy Alec was working on is sitting with his back to
me, staring out into nothing. His back and shoulder is exposed and his skin
glistens a golden brown that makes me green with envy. My skin use to look like
that. Until I started hiding it and my weakness under layers of clothes. I hate
being this weak, but it’s either Dark’s way or six feet under, and Mom can’t
lose another child.

The guy turns his head toward me, and the sun catches on
his copper-brown hair. Caramel-brown eyes smile up at me. This guy is friggin'
gorgeous.

“H-hi,” I stutter and try to smile at the same time. “I
brought you some coffee.”

“Ah thanks. I'm Aiden by the way,” he says, exposing two
rows of perfect pearly whites. Yeah, he is definitely a hottie. I reach over to
his extended hand and shake it while mumbling my name.

Luckily for me, preppy boys aren't my type. I've just
never been surrounded by so much hotness. On the one side, you have Jase in his
black hoodie, radiating all this dangerous sexiness. I mean, where do you find a
guy with pitch black hair, eyes greener and more beautiful than the most
expensive emeralds? I can only imagine what he is hiding under all those
clothes. No wonder he keeps his hoodie pulled up over his head. The girls
probably tackle him to the ground when they get a face full. Or they would if
they can get past that I'm-dangerous-and-not-in-the-mood-for-your-shit look of
his. Oh god, and Lewis and James, those two naughty buggers with their
I-know-what-you’re-thinking-and-I'm-thinking-it-too-so-get-naked-already grins.
I feel like the friggin’ ugly duckling between all these beautiful people.
Aiden clears his throat and I drop his hand.

I’m red-faced, I know it from the heat covering my ears. I
held onto his hand all this time. I want to bang my head against a wall
repeatedly. Maybe I’ll knock some sense into my scrambled brain. I reach inside
my jean pocket for a smoke and take a few steps back before I light it.

Jase is standing inside the back door looking at me. I
watch him watching me. I can't place the look on his face. I smile at him, but
he doesn’t smile back as he walks towards me and lights his own cigarette. The
silence between us is thick and uncomfortable like it wants to strangle my
lungs right alongside the nicotine flowing through it. I look at Jase from the
corner of my eye. He doesn't look at me. Is he pissed? Did he see me staring
into Aiden’s eyes while holding his hand like a silly little girl? Damn it!
Surely Jase can see Aiden is not my type!

“What is your type, Mia?” Jase asks.

“Wh—What???” I stammer as my head whips to the side. Did I
say that out loud?

“Do you have a type, Mia?” Green eyes as hard as the jewel
they resemble stare back at me. His stare bores into my soul, drilling closer
to my heart, making the damn thing beat so hard I'm afraid it’s either going
break out of my chest or explode and splatter all my secrets across my ribs.

“You,” I blurt out. The aftermath of his stare is making
my brain hazy and my thoughts unfiltered. Damn it, Mia! Friggin’ hell, can you
just think before you say anything?

An evil grin tips his lip up before he drops his head and
crushes the smoking bud with his sneaker.

“I shouldn't be, Mia. This is not you. I will always be
like this,” he says moving his hand indicating himself. “I saw you staring at
that guy.”

Jase doesn't look at me while he spews the venom now
festering in my heart.

“What the fuck do you know about me, Jase? Nothing! Don't
pretend you know me. I wasn't staring at Aiden. I could never be with someone
like Aiden. He doesn't deserve someone as fucked up as me. No one does.” My
voice is harsh and tears clog my throat. Damn him. I light another smoke and
watch as Jase leaves through the backdoor.

Seeing him leave breaks my heart, and the tears force
their way up to my eyes. And that makes me mad. I squeeze my eyes closed so hard
I see little white spots flickering behind my eye lids. All I can think of is
Jase leaving. A huge sob travels up my chest, but I refuse to let it escape. It
hurts like hell. A couple of days I've known this guy and already I'm a mess.
This is going to end badly for me. I don’t know when Aiden left. I just hope it
was before I started screaming at Jase. I take two quick drags from my smoke. I
pull up the sleeve of my jersey. The burn of yesterday is still red, and it
taunts me from my wrist. Happy birthday to me, I think before the familiar pain
clouds my brain.

Physical pain I can handle. Your nerves firing off rapid
little messages to your brain to tell it you are hurting. That I can handle.
But this, this heart-crushing melancholy that claws at your soul. This fucking
sadness fighting its way through your heart, systematically ripping it apart,
until all you have left is a shredded mess in a cardboard box. This is killing
me.

The smell of flesh burning slides down my nose and flips
my stomach. I drop the cigarette and stomp my foot on it fiercely. I take a
couple of deep breaths before I see him. Oh god, I'm going to be sick. THUD,
THUD, THUD. Oh no, please no.

“Don't fuck with me, Mia,” Jase says, getting in my face.
I swear little lightning bolts flash in his eyes, or that could just be me
hallucinating. Because right now he is squeezing the ever-loving life out of my
burnt wrist. I try to pull my wrist away, but Jase won't let go.

“You want pain, I will give you so much pain you won't
know what hit you,” Jase growls at me, increasing his hold on my wrist. I
stumble a step back, trying to get away from him. But he won’t let me go. He is
scaring the crap out of me. He is going to break my fucking wrist if he keeps
this up. Is that his plan? Is that what he meant by showing me pain? He takes a
smoke out of his pocket and lights it up. The cherry burns bright red and hot as
he drags quick sharp pulls on it. He smiles at me before bringing the cigarette
over to where his other hand is holding my wrist. I straighten and look him
dead in the eye, daring him to do it. I'm not afraid of pain, but then his eyes
turn cruel and his mouth twists as he brings the cherry closer to his
hand.

“No, no, NO!!!” I scream at him. My heart thuds fast and
frantic. My blood roars in my ears. There's no place on his beautiful body for
scars. I bring my other hand around and slap him as hard as I can across his
face. I swear he fucking growls at me.

“You don't get to hurt me, Mia! Or yourself!” he yells at
me before pushing me away so hard I land on my ass.

“Fuck you, Jase, fuck you!” I shout out between my sobs.

“Another thing you don't get to do,” he says before
slamming the back door shut behind him.

I don't look at Alec or Livvy or Aiden as I leave. I grab
my backpack and run through the door, ignoring their confused voices calling
after me. I don’t stop until I’m all the way down the street. I scrub at my
eyes, surely smearing liner all over my face. I should’ve checked my face
before leaving, but I couldn't risk anyone in that parlor seeing me like this.
I can't go back to school, so I do what I was going to do later in any case. I
go to Lou's pawn shop looking for Mom’s ring. I refuse to think of Jase and his
stupid reaction. So he has a temper, a big, scary, friggin’ temper. That
doesn't mean he can take it out on me. He should stay out of my business.