Grave Possession (Wraith 3) (3 page)

“I don’t know.” I picked up the paper. “It’s a note from Jeannie.”

Hey girl,

I’m so proud of you for making it into SCAD. It’s a great program and I know you’ll be a rock star. Since we’ll be even further away, I’m including the name and number of a friend of mine. She’s legit. She goes by Madam Rosemarie but her real name is Nina. Contact her if you run into any problems.

Love,

Jeannie

“Madam Rosemarie? You think she runs like a palm reading place or something? Psychic friends?”

“Who knows with Jeannie?” I stuffed the paper back in the pencil box. Ava sat next to me and, when I looked up, she glanced away and picked up a pencil, running her hand over the sleek wood.

“What?”

“So… he’s in my class.”

I kept the word “who” off my lips and said nothing.

She kicked her shoes under the bed. “We knew it would happen and, of course, it’s my drawing class. I guess that shouldn’t really be a surprise. I doubt they have a class in tagging here.”

I laughed but my stomach hurt thinking about him, not as much as it did at one time, but enough. “Did you talk to him?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t help it really. I got to the class first and picked my table. He came in after me and sat down with me.”

“You’re sharing a table?” This wasn’t good. Too close.

“I couldn’t really make him leave, I mean, he isn’t the enemy, right?”

I sighed and leaned back into my pillow. “No, I guess not.”

“He left. You ended it. You both moved on. No big.” She said this easily but we both knew it wasn’t exactly that clear-cut.

Ava grabbed her bathroom caddy and disappeared into the hallway. Alone, I took in a deep breath. I had a million questions. First, did he look good? That’s stupid. Of course he looked good. Did he ask about me? Did he look sad? What does his hair look like? Was he with anyone? Did he look, you know… stable?

During our last go around things were definitely not stable. It was why I broke up with him in the first place. Connor and I both saw spirits, but I was lucky and only got hit with one (or maybe two) at a time. Connor got slammed when he wasn’t medicated. He also had a rise in anxiety and depression that may or may not have be related to the ghosts. The depression led to drug use, lies and manipulation. He wasn’t healthy and we were toxic together.

I was thinking about all this when Ava came back in the room clean-faced and wearing a fresh outfit. “You want to get some dinner and then go to that show tonight? The one Lila was talking about?”

Lila was our dorm manager. A senior and graphic design major. In an effort to bond with the residents, she suggested we all go to see a local band tonight.

“Yeah,” I said, swinging my legs over the side of the bed.

“Great. I’ll tell you all about Connor on the way.”

I shrugged. “Why would I care about that?”

“Really? We’re going to play it this way?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, hopping to the ground and gathering a change of clothes.

“Have it your way,” she said with an evil grin. “But that means you won’t hear about his new tattoos.”

I stopped midway through the bathroom door.

“Did you say tattoos? With an s?”

Ava nodded.

“Crap.” I sighed. “Fine, wait ‘til dinner though because I think I need sit down for this one.”

*

I adjusted my iPod hoping the volume would keep me awake. Ava was almost asleep. In the faint light of the room I could see her eye lashes flicker a couple times. I held my breath, counted to 25 and finally, as far as I could tell, my roommate fell asleep.

I pull out my ear buds and lay back on my pillow. Closing my eyes, I took several deep breaths, like I’m trying to settle myself for sleep. I guess I am, but not sleep-sleep, that place right before, hovering in between. That’s where I find Evan. Or he finds me. I’m not sure which.

The room tilts and I sit up. Well, I don’t sit up. I’m still lying in the bed, but this part of me, the one that can travel to this other place, could move about freely. Ava is fast asleep on her bed, snoring lightly.

“Nice set up,” I hear. Evan hovers near the door, back pressed against it. He stares at Ava. She’s curled up under a blue and purple quilt. “Does she sleep naked?”

“No! And don’t be disgusting.”

“I’m 15. My hormones are stuck on disgusting.”

I can’t help but smile. No, not smile. Beam. Like a lunatic. “Sorry this took so long.”

“I’ve got nothing but time.”

I scooted to the end of the bed and let my legs hang over the end. My toes touched the cool wood floors. Evan brought the cool air with him, causing the temperature to drop. “I know. It’s been hard figuring it out. Ava stays up late reading every night or texting Christian.”

“Why don’t you text Louis?” His curly blond hair covered his raised eyebrows. Evan can’t leave this realm, so he hasn’t ever seen Louis. He only knows what I’ve described. It’s not like before where he could pop in and out to see me. This was more like a visitation room. Like in prison except with no glass or telephone between us. When we were done, he had to go back to his side of the universe and I go back to mine.

“I do. I have. This first week has been really exhausting. I wanted to make sure she was asleep and that no one walked in or anything. I’m just not used to having so many people around,” I explained. “Plus, I keep crashing and falling asleep.”

He took a step forward. That simple move brought about an involuntary physical reaction. My mouth watered. My palms itched. I tried to play it cool though. Desperation doesn’t look good on anyone. Something else I learned from Charlotte. Make no mistake, my reaction wasn’t sexual in nature. It was deeper than that. A craving from the inner-most pit of my psyche. Only he and other dead can fill it. The other dead I couldn’t trust. Evan was my loophole.

He took my hand and a warm surge rushed from my palm to my fingertips and throughout the rest of my body. “You do look tired,” he said, voice hazy and warm.

“I’ll get used to it.”

“No doubt,” he smiled. I grinned back. We’re whole. Or at least for a little while.

“Tell me everything,” he said. “I never even thought about college. How are your art classes? Have you been to a keg party yet? What about the bathrooms? Are there naked chicks in there?”

I crossed my legs and settled into the bed and started at the beginning. Evan sat on the floor below me, his face lighting up with each description and the energy surging from him to myself as I touched his knees with my toes. Tiny zaps that filled the fissure in my chest.

I skipped over the news about Connor for now. I wasn’t ready to deal with it myself. He’s
here and I’m going to have to face him head on at some point, but for now I smile down at my best friend. I finally have Evan back, even if it’s only for brief moments like this.

Even though Ava told me about Connor, I didn’t really get it until I saw him myself a couple of days later. Then it felt like I’d been kicked.

In the chest.

Wow.

I spotted the two tattoos snaking down his arms and the way his hair had grown out so it curled over his ears. I expected those things, she’d described them in full detail. But across the crowded coffee shop I saw the things she’d forgotten to tell me, like the way his chest seemed wider and, um… broader. His arms leaner and more muscular. When he stood, I was shocked by his height. Connor had always been tall, but he had grown at least half a foot and towered over the other guys he sat with. He was still lanky, but I could tell he was solid muscle and his sharp jawline had grown sharper. He’d lost every ounce of baby fat.

Connor Jacobs had turned into a man.

“I told you,” Ava cackled beside me. She
had
told me. She told me he’d matured and looked good – great – and that I was in big trouble.

I was in so much trouble.

“How did that happen?” I sat next to Ava on a bright red velvet love seat. “He was always very handsome, right? But this? This is... uh...”

She took a sip of her tea. “Yeah, he’s beyond hot.”

Connor looking so good was a problem because, even though I’d been the one to insist on a break and had moved on to Louis, in moments of complete honesty I was well aware that I’d never fallen out of love with him. It was possible I never would. Things shifted to a bad place between us with the Charlotte thing. He’d lied to me. Several times. And he hurt me. And I’d hurt him. We chipped away at one another until there was nothing left but distrust and open wounds. With this thing that we had, this ghost thing, we needed to be able to trust one another. All the time. We both needed to grow up. I just never realized he was going to grow up and look like… well, that.

“When are you going to talk to him?”

“Never?”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to work.” She glanced up. I did too and his eyes were focused in my direction. The moment I’d been anticipating with a mixture of eagerness and dread happened in the middle of a crappy coffee shop.

We’d seen each other.

“Oh, crap,” I exhaled. “What do I do?”

Ava fought a laugh. “Right now? Nothing. Just stay in your seat.”

“I can do that,” I said, not moving a muscle.

“He may be hot, but you’ve turned out pretty amazing too, Jane. Just play it cool. Remember why you broke up. That hasn’t changed, but you weren’t always on bad terms. Just be nice.”

I ran my fingers across the bags under my eyes. I’d stayed up too late with Evan several nights in a row. I looked like crap. “I can do that.”

He didn’t move my direction and I remained next to Ava. I forced conversation about class and her plans to visit Christian in the next couple of weeks. I kept my eyes away from him as much as I could and only twice did I catch him looking at me. The idea warmed my perpetually cold heart and stressed every muscle in my body.

“Hey Amber,” Ava said, looking over my shoulder.

“Hey, guys.” Amber lived in our dorm. She was followed closely by her roommate, a pretty, dark-haired girl named Kelsey. “Did you hear about the house party Saturday night?”

Ava set down her mug. “No. Details, please.”

“I’ve got this friend from high school who lives a couple blocks off campus. She’s a junior, but she told me to invite whoever. You want to go? It should be pretty fun.”

Ava and I shared a look. Our first college party. There was no question she would want to go. I glanced quickly in Connor’s direction and saw him laughing with some guys. Always Mr. Popular. But this was a new school with new rules. I wasn’t the same girl from when we met. I nodded my head in approval.

“We’re in!” Ava exclaimed.

“Great! I’ll text you directions – I think I’ll head over around nine.”

Amber and Kelsey stayed for a few more minutes and we talked about the dorm and the girls living with us. Kelsey was quiet, but nice enough. Nothing like the social powerhouse Amber seemed to be. Quiet was good. I had a feeling we would get along. I had to admit it felt nice to have a fresh start, without history lingering over my shoulder. No nasty whispers in the hallways. A girl like Amber never would have talked to me back then.

“Ready to go?” Ava asked.

“Yeah.”

We trashed our cups and headed out the door. As much as I wanted to, I didn’t look back at Connor as we left the shop. The door swung closed behind me and I made a promise to myself; keep moving forward.

*

The following afternoon we had a dorm meeting. Lila sat us in a circle around the first floor lounge. Asian and super tiny, she had short, cropped hair and a friendly smile. I saw some of her print-making work when I walked by her room. She had incredible talent.

“Just a couple of notices,” she said, reading off a sheet of paper. “Please keep music down after 10 p.m. Everyone owns earphones. Use them. Also, the second floor bathroom has some kind of leak. I’ve called in maintenance and they should be here sometime tomorrow.” She looked around the room. “You are welcome to keep food in your room, but make sure it’s secured in containers. We do not want rats. Or bugs.”

Ava shuddered next to me.

“Now for something serious. Starting college is hard. Really hard. We’ll all go through some depression. We’ve left friends and family back home. Some of us have left significant others at home or at other schools. I promise you it will get tough,” she said. “Never hesitate to talk to me. Ever. That’s what I’m here for. If you need to talk to me privately just knock on my door. If I’m not there leave me a note, okay?”

The girls in the room collectively nodded. Just talking about being homesick ignites a twinge of feelings for Louis and my parents.

“Any questions?” she asked.

A couple girls made vague comments about their roommates. But Lila suggested they talk
to her in private. When the meeting was over, Ava and I went back to our room. I walked straight to my closet and grabbed my robe, towel and shower caddy. “Want to watch a movie when I’m done?” I asked. “Zac Efron?”

“Totally.”

A huge puddle covered the middle of the bathroom floor. The leak. Man, we’re halfway to a flood in here. I took a wide lunge, trying not to get my flip-flops wet.

Gross.

The showers were empty, thank goodness. I’m still not used to sharing bathroom space with other people. It’s weird being naked one stall over from girls I don’t know. I’m not used to sharing anything with other people, really. The curse of being an only child. I showered quickly, lathering my hair and body, hoping to finish before anyone else came in.

I had my hand on the sliver knob to turn off the water when I heard what sounded like crying. I turned off the shower, wrapped my towel around my body and listened.

Sure enough, someone sniffled and blew her nose. Ugh. Great. Now I had to decide if I should go out there or not. I wasn’t really the best with crying people. Well, really, it was the people part. Crying ghosts I could manage.

I gave my
dormmate a minute or two to get it together before I walked out in a hot pink cotton robe and my hair in a towel. I rounded the corner from the showers and found the row of sinks empty.

“Thank God,” I muttered, stopping to dry my hair.

The mirror over the sink was fogged over and I lifted my fist to wipe it away. I stopped mid-wipe.

Someone had written
Bang Bang
into the steamed-over mirror.

The toilet flushed and I wiped away the words, not wanting anyone to think I wrote them. I turned on the dyer and smiled at Denise, the girl from the room next to mine who stopped to wash her hands. She was from south Georgia somewhere. Worked in metals or sculpture or something. It was hard keeping track of all the new faces.

I stayed busy, pulling and drying my hair, but not so much that I noticed Denise face was clear, her eyes bright. She hadn’t been the one crying. I turned off the dryer. “Did you see anyone else in here?”

“No,” she said, drying her hands. “Why?”

“I just thought I heard something. No big.”

I turned on the dryer again and waved to Denise as she left the room. This living with other people thing was hard.

*

“Evan?”

“Hmm?”

“What did you think the first time I saw you? Again, I mean.” I clarified. “Here.”

“That you were dead.”

“That makes sense.”

“I knew there was no way back, you know, after the fire, so I figured you must have crossed over yourself.” Evan leaned against my door, the thin sliver of light from the hallway spilling through the crack between the floor and door.

“I thought it was a dream.”

“Sort of still is.” He nodded at my unmoving body on the bed.

“But not.”

“Right.”

Neither of us knew why or how this happened, just that after Charlotte tried to rip my soul out of my body and use the shell for her own purposes things changed. The darkness entered my chest and never let up. One night, just after Connor left, I was in my bed, half in and out of sleep, lingering in that hazy place neither here nor there.

Then the crow appeared. The black bird hopped along my floor, leading me to Evan.

“Do you think this is wrong? Me coming here?”

Evan tilted his head to the side and I could barely make out his profile. “I don’t think anything about us has ever been exactly right.” I crawled off the bed and sat across from Evan, Indian style. He took one of my hands in his, the familiar surge rolled across my skin. “Tell me about your day.”

“Ava and I are going to a party this weekend.”

“Wow, your first college party. Impressive.”

“Yep.” I’m rewarded with a huge smile. Between the two of us, we’ve got one life to live.

*

I left the main campus building the next day and found Connor waiting at the bottom of the steps. There was no doubt who or what he was waiting for.

Crap.

I wasn’t ready.

He stood with his hands in his pockets, blocking the way. I willed my nerves to stay calm. We had to do this. I
had
to do this.

“Hi,” he said, giving me a small smile. His eyes traveled over my hair and the piercings. The physical differences since we last spoke. He couldn’t see all the changes. Not the ones inside.

“Hey.”

His eyes seemed bluer than before but that had to be impossible. “Can we talk?”

“Sure,” I agreed, not sure at all.

Connor gestured across the street and led me to an empty bench in the park. He must be nervous too, because he walked too fast, leaving me behind. The top of my head barely met his shoulder now, and I stumbled over a brick paver trying to keep up.

“You okay?” He asked, his hand steadying my shoulder. I shrugged him off and he took two steps back.

“I’m fine.”

“So,” he said, once we sat down. A group of tourists walked by. One of the women stopped and took a photo of a statue behind us. “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah.”

“How’s school?”

“I like it here,” I told him. “Ava and I are rooming together.”

“I figured. My roommate, Tom, is from England. He’s pretty cool.” We sat side by side but at least a foot apart. I couldn’t bring myself to look directly at him. Connor ran his hand through his hair. He was nervous. Good. “Yeah, I have no idea where to start.”

“I don’t know if we need to start anything, Connor.”

He scoffed, obviously not liking my statement. “I’m not trying to start
that
, Jane. We’re just here together and things ended really awkward for us.” He paused and I peeked at him and his clenched, tight jaw. “I still care about you. And I want to know you again. What was senior year like? How was graduation? Have you had any…” he took a deep breath, “problems? Visitors? I mean, you and I sure picked a hell of a city to move to considering.”

“I figured I can’t really escape the dead, you know? I’m all about facing things head on now.” I pulled my hair behind my ear.

“Oh, yeah?” He lifted his eyebrow.

Dammit. The eyebrow lift always got me.

I sighed. “Fine. Senior year was great. I made some major changes. I don’t run from the ghosts any more. I face them head on and power through. The longer I let them linger around, the crazier they make me – the more chance there is for something to go wrong. Charlotte taught me that.”

We stared hard at one another when I said her name and I waited for him to defend her. When he didn’t I continued, “I built my portfolio. Worked at the art studio.”

“You got these,” he said, running his thumb over the piercings in my ear, making me flinch and ball my hands into fists. He dropped his hand.