Grave Possession (Wraith 3) (4 page)

“I made new friends.”

“Louis.”

I nodded and blinked away a traitorous tear. God, this conversation hurt. “Yes, Louis.”

“I deleted my Facebook account when I saw your homecoming pictures,” he confessed.

“I’m sorry,” I said. This was too hard. It hurt too much. I wrapped my arms around my stomach. I didn’t think the darkness could feel worse, emptier, but I was wrong.

“Don’t be,” he said. He leaned his elbows on his knees. “I was halfway across the country fighting my demons. You deserved better than that.”

I chewed my bottom lip and asked the question that had been on my mind since I saw him last. “Did you beat them?”

He nodded slowly and looked at me with those eyes. “I think so. I think for the first time I got it under control. No drugs. No drinking. I learned some techniques on how to manage what I see and how to cope without losing control.”

“No drugs?” Connor had been prescribed drugs to monitor his moods, which, in turn, kept the ghosts away. Without the meds he had a hard time functioning. His behavior turned erratic and he lied – a lot. He scared me. It was one of the main reasons we broke up. “Not even the anti-depressants and stuff?”

“Nope. I learned a lot of things about myself at that wilderness program, Jane. I don’t need the drugs anymore to manage this.” He shook his head. “I know you won’t believe me and that’s okay. You’ll see. I’ve got myself under control. I’ve got
this
under control. More than ever before.”

I didn’t believe him and the hole in my heart that had slowly repaired over the last year widened again. This would never work. He still couldn’t admit he needed help. That this was bigger than him.

I stood up and slung my bag over my shoulder. “I need to get back. Ava and I are meeting for dinner.”

“Okay.” Standing, he shoved his hands in his pockets again.

“I’ll see you around,” I said, praying that I wouldn’t. I walked away before this whole thing got worse.

“Jane,” Connor called. “I’ll prove myself to you. I promise.”

“Bye,” I said back. Because maybe he would or maybe he wouldn’t. Neither of those things should affect me. Not anymore.

I raced back to the dorm for two reasons. One was to hide in my room and process the conversation with Connor. The other was to pee. I tossed my bag on the floor just inside my dorm room and yelled, “Gotta pee!” to Ava, who sat stunned on her bed. I busted into the bathroom, already unbuttoning my pants.

Unfortunately, I didn’t see the wrench or the maintenance guy on the bathroom floor and tripped over both of them.

“Are you okay?” I heard from my spot face down under the sink. Yuck.

“I’m fine,” I said, sitting up. The maintenance guy looked about my parents’ age, African-American, in blue coveralls. He helped me off the floor and I pulled my shirt down to cover my open pants. “I’ll just go downstairs,” I told him.

“I’ll be done soon,” he announced, but I had already started down the stairs, red-faced and embarrassed.

Ten minutes later, I entered my room. Ava sat exactly where I’d left her, legs crossed on her bed and a sketch pad in her lap. Pink headphones were clamped over her ears and pencil shavings filled a clear, plastic cup on the table next to the bed. I wished she wasn’t here. Really, all I wanted was to talk to Evan. Feel Evan.

“Hey,” she said, taking of the headphones and shaking out her hair. “Make it in time?”

“Yeah, crisis averted.” I flopped on my bed and covered my face with my hands. “I talked to Connor.”

Her eyes grew wide. “No! What happened?”

“It was beyond awkward.”

She crossed her legs. “Obviously.”

“He knows about Louis.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, he didn’t seem too thrilled.”

“Is he dating anyone?”

“I don’t know. To be honest, I was too scared to even ask if he’d dated anyone else – or is dating anyone. Conflicted feelings and all that.”

Ava made a sympathetic face. “How do you think he’s doing – you know?” She pointed to her brain.

“God, I don’t even know. He said he was off drugs completely. Recreationally and prescription.”

“Seriously?”

“I know, right?” I pressed my ear to my pillow. “I’m just going to let it go for now. I’m sure we’ll see each other around. As long as the ghosts keep quiet we don’t have much reason to hang out with each other.”

“Plus, you have Louis. You can use that as an excuse at least.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m starving,” she said, hopping off the bed. “Want to go eat?”

“Yeah, I need to wash my face. Will you check the bathroom? I had an embarrassing moment in there earlier with the maintenance guy.”

“What happened?” she asked.

“Typical clumsy. He was nice about it but I’d rather not go over it again.”

“Poor Jane,” Ava said, giving me a hug. “Sounds like maybe we should hit the fro-yo place after dinner.”

“Yes, please.”

Ava left the room and, a couple of seconds later, peeked back in. “The coast is clear.”

“Awesome. Give me a second and I’ll be ready.”

The water on the bathroom floor had been mopped up and the leak repaired. I went to the sink and took out my soap. I heard a muffled noise behind one of the bathroom stall doors. Oh man, the crier was in here again. I discretely attempted to look under the door to see her shoes because someone had a depression problem. I should probably tell Lila.

I dropped my brush so I could sneak a look. I didn’t recognize the shoes, but they were standard black Converse low-tops. I also spotted a tiny tattoo on her ankle. A flower maybe? Clover?

The girl coughed and I jumped, rushing back over to the sink, turning on the faucet to cover her sobbing. Probably homesick, I suspected. I’d fought it myself but Ava and Evan made things easier. Odds were that this girl didn’t have her best friends at school with her.

She never left the stall, so I gathered my things and left the bathroom. It shouldn’t be too hard to figure out who has that tattoo. When I did, hopefully I could help her.

*

“I miss you,” Louis said.

“I miss you, too.” I sat on a bench in front of our residence hall, phone to my ear. “How are your classes?”

“Huge. Most of them have, like, 200 kids in them.”

“Wow. I think the most mine have is about 30.”

“Because you go to a fancy art school. The gifted shouldn’t mingle with the rest of the masses,” he teased.

The University of Georgia, Louis’ school, had more than 30,000 students. I went up with him for a visit and the campus sent me into a series of panic attacks. All the people and buses and, well, there were too many dead people. I can’t escape the dead people, but at least I can deal with a lot less students.

“Have you gotten any gigs yet?”

“We’re working on it. We’ll probably have to play for free for a while, but that’s okay. Building a following will help.”

My chest ached from missing him. I saw other girls with their boyfriends, hands linked, bodies pressed and I fought the most irrational jealousy.

“What are you doing this weekend?” I asked.

“Going to see a couple of bands, it’s a game weekend so we’ll probably check that out,” he said. “What about you?”

“One of our dormmatesdorm mates asked us to go to a house party with her. I think we’re going to go.”

“Sounds fun.”

Silence stretched between us because I was hiding the fact I saw and spoke to Connor. I should tell him. I should. “Ava’s pretty excited. You know how social she is.”

He laughed. “Ugh, yeah, I guess I should go. Christian wants to go see a movie tonight in the student center and it starts in about 30 minutes.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Have fun this weekend.”

“You, too.”

…

“Be safe, okay?”

He was so sweet. I sucked. “We will.”

“Bye,” he said, the weight of being apart heavy on us.

“Bye.”

I shoved the phone in my pocket and sat back on the bench. And waited. I didn’t have to linger long. A faint blue light caught my eye across the street. I stood and followed the glow until I could see it was an old man, dressed in ratty clothing. Thin navy blue pants. Torn plaid shirt. He’d been homeless, maybe?

“Hey,” I called and he looked up in surprise. “It’s okay, I’m here to help.”

“Help?”

“You shouldn’t be here. It’s time to move on. I can make that happen.”

He nodded, slowly and with confusion. His once blue eyes glassy and flecked with white. I offered him my hand. Seeking what I needed in exchange for what he needed.

“Here,” I said. “Take it.”

A crow cawed overhead, taking flight from his treetop perch. The old man clasped his hand around mine. The reaction was instant, the emptiness gone. The dead took so much from me, I’d finally learned how to take something back.

Amber sent us a message with the address and location of the party. The house was only a couple blocks away so we decided to walk. Savannah always had people roaming around – students, families, tourists, so we felt pretty safe making the trek together.

“Those shoes turned out pretty awesome,” Ava said, looking at my feet. I’d taken a pair of flats and attached a ribbon on each side so they had a bow tied on the top of my foot.

“Didn’t they?”

We’d both made an effort to dress nice but casual. I wore a black sundress with the pink flats. I added three thick leather bracelets that Jeannie sent me from New York and the necklace Ms. Frances gave me. The pink glow on my cheeks came from the hit of energy I took off the old man before I sent him on his way.

Ava had on her standard thick-framed glasses and a pair of cut off shorts and purple boots. She looked adorable. She laced her fingers through mine and encouraged me up the front porch. My best friend knew me so well. I may appear put together on the outside, but inside I was a bundle of nerves. This wasn’t the first party she’d dragged me into.

We passed through the haze of cigarette smoke on the porch and entered the house. It was old, like everything else in Savannah, and I felt a rush of relief when we saw Amber right away. She broke into a grin.

“Hey! You came!”

“Of course,” Ava said, giving her a hug. I held my hand up and waved. “Do we know anyone else here?”

Amber shrugged. “Doubtful. I tried to get Kelsey to come but she’s super hung up on this boyfriend of hers. She calls him constantly – like all night. If she’s not talking to him, she’s texting him. Thank God I ditched my boyfriend before coming to school. Who would want that baggage hanging around your neck when there’s a fresh batch of college guys to pursue?”

Neither Ava nor I confessed we had boyfriends back home. “Maybe she’s just homesick?” I asked.

“Doubtful. She’s not from that far away. Lives in a town about 20 minutes from here.”

“That’s weird.”

“Eh, I keep trying to get her to come out and stuff but she’d rather wallow in her drama.” She rolled her eyes. “Want a drink? There’s a keg on the back porch, punch in the kitchen and water and stuff in the refrigerator.”

Ava looked at me. “Punch?”

“Sure,” I shrugged. I won’t lie. There’s no way I would get through this without alcohol.

After a quick assessment, college parties aren’t much different from high school parties. People seemed a little less frantic, probably because we weren’t trashing someone’s parents’ house. Looking around, I realized there isn’t much to trash. The furniture looked cheap – second-hand or thrift store. An erratic combination of paintings lined the walls, everything from portraits to abstract splatters. I figured they were probably created by one or more of the homeowners.

We waited in line for our drinks, dipping a huge ladle into a vat of green punch. I took a sip from my plastic cup and coughed. “Holy crap,” I choked.

Ava swallowed and gagged. “Wow. How they made that taste like foot I’ll never know.”

We ditched the cups and grabbed a couple of sodas out of a cooler on the floor. I followed Ava through the house and Amber caught our eyes when we entered the living room.

“Hey,” she said, waving us over. She sat with a group on a futon and several others gathered around on the floor. Ava squeezed in next to Amber and I sat near them on the thin rug covering the hardwoods. They seemed to be playing a game or something on a notepad being passed around.

“What’s this?” Ava asked.

“Someone starts a drawing and each person adds a section. It’s just something to do while we hang out.”

I felt like this was something we did in Girl Scout camp, but whatever. It was better than watching boys fight over video games. The guy next to me took the pad and began drawing. He had short dreads and the prettiest dark brown skin. His eyes were light blue and, when he finished, he smiled and handed me the sketch pad.