Gone By (12 page)

“You must be crazy freak for her” her voiced sounded vibrant.

“People do say that I’m a crazy freak”.

She glimpsed with long stare at me and after long pause she broke and laughed out louder. We were halting only for twenty minutes as per my knowledge. We almost could complete the diet that served us. The long chit chat between us carried us away avoiding the ambient being felt dump. Finally the plates were laid empty on the table. We shook off to walk towards the bus. The bill we placed it on the table with the chit paper on it. Isha walked in first like as usual. And I followed her behind. She swiftly got into her seat. She settled her hair and her hand bag in proper order. I took my seat beside her. Unknown to this girl yet pretending to know was it the fugitive luck or the real destiny of my life with new intensive kind of experience that grabbed me up. I never felt nothing like this before like the way I was feeling with her beside me. What I felt couldn’t be revealed out but something more then what I didn’t expect. Neither the absence of Anannya nor the presence of Isha could shiver me. It was Isha’s physical presence that kept me fleeting whereas it was the absence of Anannya dwelling in my heart kept me burning.

The clock past to 1:00am by now. Gradually our engine geared it’s roar plucking out the brake. It slowly turned it’s body towards the highway and the accelerator followed.

“So, are you feeling better now with filled pouch” my voice slowly grunted.

“Yeah...a lot better. Perhaps now I can go off to sleep again until I see myself landing in Goa” she added.

The wheel pulled it’s geared and it began to move faster against the wind. No sights of other vehicle, just sometime a fluke of smaller size cars passed off from the other lane. Everyone seemed satisfied now. All quiet some lost into dreams, some still with their eyes blinking, some on the verge of sleepy mood but all to an end all were contented with that little refreshment. I forethought of continuing my diary when the whole world would be back to sleep. Beside me Isha still hovering outside through the window shattering her eye brow at the dark side that passed us. She took the chance to ask me “Are you not going to let your eyes to fall asleep??”.

“I’m here as new genre of human being because of you Isha. I won’t let my eyes fall asleep until I complete another page of my diary”.

Her jaw dropped and eye flared out into gloomy shades glaring at me with no sign of blinking. She nodded her head with degree of passionate feelings that enhanced inside her until my words reached her inner core.

“You’re a true lover. Who tends to do anything for survival. A sense of mature emotions and feelings you preserve inside you” she said taking her breath warmly.

I stared at her for moment “ She was the treasure of my life, and those words needs to encrypted. I once loved her a lot and I still do...that’s the name Anannya... I won’t forget” my voiced hissed softly.

“Could you show me what you will write this time” she urged to me.

“Surely..it’s going to be all in your hand if I do get the ultimate shape of words describing the past, beyond dreams turning into volume of pages”.

She nodded her head and shifted closer to me. I felt the warmth of her breath as she closed in to me. She constantly kept her eyes at me. My eyes feared to look at her eyes. Tending to diverge the sight away from her but bounded by her inner magic spiritual love spell that kept me on with no appearance of gloominess on my face instead a light overshadowed the darkness on my face. It lasted for long minutes pretending we were not aware between us but the moment felt so thrilling and exhilarating that neither of us wanted to fade away from each other’s flushing eye contact. She slowly placed her hand and rubbed my cheek with her soft palm. My eyes began to get softer and turned into shades of red streams of teary bank. Her shorts of blink shook my heart and I couldn’t redirect from the path I was at. Isha flooded with full of emotions, her eyes tearing apart into banks of moistened lashes. I intended to look away from her, all I was tortured by such emotive affluent that drilled me since beginning. I forced my inner core and turned my face straight away towards the aisle. Isha did took her face away and wiped her eyes with her perfumed handkerchief. I could realize she was fine now. None of us had the idea what encased us to be into such emotive vile that bound us for so long. She finally began to charm out and could flushed out a smile on her face.

“Are you ok” concerned my tone at her.

“Yeah!! I’m absolutely fine” she softly spoke.

She closed in and curled her hand inside my arm and grasped tightly placing her head on my shoulder. I slightly raised my head and chucked a slow kiss on her forehead. She quietly laid her head calm and her heartbeat beating randomly that matched with my rhythm. The silence walked on our path, nothing audible except the fast motion of our bus and the warmth of our company inside. Her eyes still blinking like she never wanted to rest again but to put herself comfortably, feeling the protectiveness under my arm. My head straightened to look towards the television screen slightly decomposing the sort of strain sensing within me. On the other hand Isha calmly laid with her head peacefully with no sign of any irritation on her words. In fact, I loved holding her like this. I always wanted she should be curled under my arm. I pushed my free hand to pull out the diary from my hand bag. I managed with an ease and landed it on my lap. My other hand deep under her shoulder curling through her back.

“Are you going to script now” she whispered softly very close to my ear.

I nodded with a sign of interest. She detached herself and opened herself from the curl of my hand and shifted slightly inch away from me.

She grinned “You can comfortably carry on to write” her tone got sharper.

I glanced at her with no sort of perplexity or ill feeling for her exquisite nature of behaviour. Isha had the every endemic attitude that really made her completely a different person from the rest of the world. I turned my second page which laid empty without any ink shots. She peeked her eyes at me and glittered out a sweet smile as I put my pen down touching the page. She contacted closer to me to see the unfold stories of my love life. She maintained her long stress gaze at my diary as  I began to write with the flow of emotive words.

“Where did you first see her” Isha suddenly spoke softly.

I turned my face at her flushing out a smile. I could surely read at her face the eagerness she had, to hear it from my mouth, perhaps she fondly wanted me to narrate her. So, did I began in this silent hour of the night. Not only that along with the narration my penned moved on filling up the pages

Eight

................

Year 2007, I never knew any part of that place. An alien to the others, a stranger to all with no identity of where I belonged. I landed my foot for the first time in that small town of North Eastern part of the country. It has the scenic beauty of nature, the beautiful thrilling weather and those black clouds that hovered around. The town specifically named Tura, in the state of Meghalaya located on a hill top and I could watch those white clouds that  wandered touching the heaven on earth. I could feel the cool breeze that influenced across the town. Winter was definitely the best time of year and I was tremendously overwhelmed by that place. Till today I go back to that small city when I get a month after the semester. My Mom and Dad finally planned to build a house there. And within a year we shifted to Tura. That’s the place where she belong from.

“Who” Isha acted as if she had no idea about whom I talked about. I smiled at her sarcastic urge. “Well, obviously I was talking about Anannya” with the intention I wanted to take her name.

She grinned “I knew you would say that. Cause you were very intensified to call out her name...So then”.

That year I got an admission to a school. People were new, of course the language did troubled me. Most of the time I communicated with actions at any necessities. Every time I went to buy something I had to act with my hands to make them understand what’s my want. I hardly heard of that language before. Indeed, that was the first time I heard such syllables. I felt very contaminated in the beginning adjusting the new kind of environment with no freaking idea. I
gradually began to develop myself through tough circumstances. Firstly, I grabbed the idea of learning their language and to follow their customs and the cultures they inhabit. Up to certain extent I could follow on, and managed to put out before them. English was the official medium yet then they had their own native language. After, spending days and months I finally constructed myself and were very much eligible enough to managed things on my own in that new town, Tura. Neither I had the gallery of enough friends but I was on my own with a brand new outlook. Something still fascinates me about that small town. Who knew I would find the one I would fall in love with. Shall I consider myself lucky or mistakenly fallen with the one that falsely illumined me.

“So, where were you before you came to Tura?” Isha questioned. I began my narration again inhaling a deep breath with the dairy being written on.

I still remember that day, I had a fight with a boy of other class in my dorm. Actually, most of my life I spent in a boarding school. Never knew I would fall in love so much with that place. The place where everyone dreams to visit. Call it once, twice or thrice it’s the snowy whether that still floats before my eyes. The foggy road I walked with my friends miles distance. The walls of the school still I can see it’s painted red. The school cafeteria that laid at the entrance. The flower garden with varieties of unknown species and the bees lining to collect nectar flying from flowers to flowers. Every where our sight viewed we were on the top of hills and watching the others below us. Somewhere in the top hill filled with chilled clouds and snow our school established. Yes, I was talking about the small hill station, Darjeeling, from where I landed there.

“Oh! I heard about that place a lot. It sounds interesting” Isha interrupted.

I could magnify the heat of desperation inside Isha’s mind wanting to know what I would narrate her ahead. Her face gleamed with the glow of moonlight and her eyes wide open avoiding the call of sleep anymore. She urged to move ahead with my words and the story of my life that extremely fascinated her. After such long narration I couldn’t relocate now from where I should tell her or I should dismiss here itself with no proper end. That would probably make her feel bad about me. I was on a two way path along with my voice of narration my hand penned it on my diary too. She pinched her eyes to glance at my diary to utter out the words of my narration. Now, she wanted to listen the rest of the story that would turned the climax to a degree beyond her clue which she had been waiting for long.

“So, tell me now...how did you meet Anannya” Isha hint me her voice.

There existed a time when I forbade myself to speak about her, but now my heart gradually grew stronger and expelled out her name, Anannya with no cost of sentimental regrets. Isha beside me seemed to be the one filled with excitement. Whereas, the wheel kept rolling on the surface with its accelerator constant.

“Do you really want to know how I met her” I asked her.

“Why not....In fact I want to know the complete history between you both” she replied at quick rate.

“You got to keep your eyes and ears open for that” shuffled my voice.

She giggled a second “That’s not hard deal”.

“Well then...I guess I’ve to tell you the whole thing” I said. She laughed and paused for seconds peeking her eyes at me.

It was the first day of my school. Like every other guy I was new to that premise. No connections of friends neither anyone could recognise me. I was as a whole single world. I stepped in through
the school gate
and my feet followed crawling ahead. I could see many new faces smashing there concuss looks at me. I proceeded straight through my way. The school building was design in some alphabetical shape and I could see the frontal portion protruding out. To be honest, it had one of the most beautiful name Don Bosco and I was very much obsessed with the environment that was created. I was admitted at the eleventh standard. Quiet young and charming was my appearance with flaws of confusion over my head. I followed the first staircase that led me to my class. Many were following the same. There I asked a boy to direct me where would be the hall for standard eleven. He tentatively pointed out his finger through the long stretched corridor and then to enter the last room that ended. I followed his instruction and swept off my steps towards that direction. Lastly, I halted at the spot. I marched swiftly and entered the class room. All were spotted in their respective seats. Many were excited as it was the first day of our next level of our life’s journey. It’s not the fault of our thinking all it was the hormonal act of our teen age that fussed all around with the dust of fantasy. I quietly managed to get a seat at the front row. Beside me a boy from somewhere unknown to me sat with his belongings. He looked calm and quiet and took the toil to ask my name “Hey! Buddy what’s you name”. I firmly replied with no brake “I’m Beatone Hajong”. In return I needed to know his name which I did not miss to ask him. The difference was he had been in Tura more than years whereas for me a newly child with no lights and pleasant history of that particular place nor the people around. My concern came closer in thought of making new friends. Particularly for the first he was my unofficial friend just to consider for the day. Likewise, I just fumbled around twisting my head side wards and watching anyone who’s entering and penetrating out of the door. My bench straight forward and parallel, situated along the door line that gave me the access to look around who’s passing through the door. I was in such posture of long gaze at the door line. When then my heart for the first time made a loud beat pumping harder like it never did. I saw her for the first time, her steps smoothly entered through the door. Besides, she had a smile on her face that enlightened my heart for the day. I felt happy for the moment. Her hair superficially combed that shone from distance reflected it’s sun beam into anyone’s eyes. Those glitters of smiles she spread unanimously enveloped the whole walls that stood surrounding us. She walked by and came in calmly and indulged to take the second row of the seat allotted for the girls. I knew I had no freaking idea what would be her good name. All I just captured the pretty image of her within my eye lens. People said She was an excellent student, placed among the top. But my first intention was knowing her name. Unfortunately, I couldn’t that day. It ended up in only attending the class teachings. The days kept on passing such ways like every normal days. Gradually I became more acquainted with people around me and I could develop some least numbers of friends around me. Every day I saw her it made me feel growing my heart bigger and wider. Every words she spoke my ears did not fail to listen though it may not relate me yet then something pulled me into her. It was someday, when her friend call out by her name, Anannya and that’s when I knew her name. My first intention for attending class was she now. She had become my everyday call into my life. Not even a single day I would miss the opportunity to glance her. Is she my dream? Sometime my subconscious questioned. Perhaps the boundary has been broken inside my heart  now and I began to fall for her. Was it her first sight?. I knew not. But, she was something more than what I wanted now. Anytime she goes missing it burnt inside like the black coal has turned into ashes. I thought of a word to communicate to her. But, I lacked that strength of approaching the idle conversation to start with. She never knew who was I. From where did I belong to, where did I come from. Every attention of my daily life she was a fraction part of it. Gradually, she spaced a place in my heart. I fell in
love with her
.
The emotions whirling and feelings charming where to hide them yet strengthening not to expel and expose with no hints from her. My days began to grow new, every hour and every seconds she had become my first thought. I hardly let myself miss a school attendance and she was the reason for my change. Spending each day with a hope to happen something new. I began to fall intensely for her. Each new day I see her my heart trembled desperately for her like the thirsty throat dying out of water. I whispered her name out, Anannya, every time she entered through the doorway until she finally takes her second row. I began to patronize myself in state of random emotive notion of my life. Was I a sentimental fool to fall in love randomly with her?...it triggered me many times. Even then the beats of heart never failed to response to her addictive love. Was it true...a love..a lust..or the frantic infatuation that I’ve been going through these days. I needed the urgent talk to make to her. But, a barrier didn’t support my way. May be I was weak enough to dirigible my way towards her. How would I reciprocate to her what’s on my mind kept pondering me for days. For instant, was it the love at first sight, my eye dazzled momentarily. She was one of my reason I never went absent at my school with only some rare cases of not being present. Days turned out to be bright, every morning, every evening she was on my mind. Nothing I could do when she passes me but just put a smile. Her beautiful face and the thin lining of her eyebrow were a major section in pulling attention towards her. When she smiled felt like she was the only reason, that need to stay alive on this heavenly earth. When She walked the whole world looked at her like the bright star that shone above us. When she glanced through her eyes even the glitter failed to glitz.