Give Me a Reason (42 page)

***

Abby noticed the ring on Toni’s finger as soon as she walked
into the house, but it wasn’t until she was settled on the sofa that she made
her observation known. “Nice ring,” she said nonchalantly as she sipped her
coffee. “Laura has good taste.”

“In rings or fiancées?”

“Both, I think.”

“Do you think we’re ready for this?” Toni asked, holding up
her left hand.

“Do you?”

“I asked you first.”

“Fair enough,” Abby said with a nod. “Honestly, when Laura
first told me about her plans, I was a bit concerned that she might be rushing
things, but later after she had bought you that ring, I went home and spent the
night thinking about you…and about her.”

“And?”

“Well, unless I’m mistaken, we all know that you most likely
have years of therapy ahead of you. Agreed?”

“Yeah,” Toni answered quietly.

“And I also think it’s safe to say that we all know that some
of your…your
issues
may never be completely
resolved. Also true?”

“Yes.”

“Laura doesn’t care.”

“What?”

“Laura doesn’t care if she has to hold your hand when you
walk into a store. She doesn’t care if she has to order your meals, or keep a
paper sack in every handbag she owns. It simply doesn’t matter to her. She
doesn’t see your issues as problems, Toni, she just sees them for what they
are, part of what makes you—
you
. I’m not
saying she isn’t happy when you take a step in the right direction, but if you
never took another one, if this was as good as you could get, Laura wouldn’t
love you any less.”

“So Laura’s ready, but what about me?”

“Oh, you’re more than ready.”

“How do you figure that?”

“Because you’ve already come to terms with the fact that you
have years of therapy ahead of you and that some problems may never be solved,
but you and I both know you’ll never give up trying, and we both know why.”

“Laura.”

Abby smiled. “I’ve never met two people more in love than you
and Laura. You’re both committed to each other, and you’re both going into this
with your eyes wide open. Neither of you are naïve enough to believe your life
together will be perfect, but since you’re both more stubborn than the day is
long, I have no doubt that you’ll make it work.” Noticing a hint of concern on
Toni’s face, Abby asked softly, “Toni, do you love her?”

“More than I can say.”

“Do you want to spend the rest of your life with her?”

“And then some.”

“Then there’s your answer. Stop worrying about your problems.
Stop stressing over flawlessness, and just be happy that you’ve found what so
many of us are looking for, and most likely may never find.”

“What’s that?”

“Your soulmate.”

***

She straightened her blazer for the fourth time and ran her fingers
through her hair for the third. The bell over the door announced the next
customer, and perking up, she quickly smiled toward the sound, and then sighed
at the sight of strangers coming into the pub. Silently admonishing herself for
her adolescent anxiousness, Eleanor took another sip of her wine and tried to
relax. It didn’t work.

It had been over thirty years since she had visited this pub,
but it was the first place that came to mind when she made the phone call.
Years before, it had been their regular stop. A place to unwind and catch up
with friends, they’d spend evenings surrounded by the comfort of familiar neon,
laughing and drinking the night away before returning to the warmth of their
home…and their bed.

As Eleanor remembered youthful nights filled with passion
that wouldn’t end until dawn she felt a hint of awareness settle between her
legs, and with a snort, she shook her head. She was as hopelessly in love now
as she had been over three decades before, and there was absolutely nothing she
could do about it.

“Hiya, Ellie.”

She breathed in deeply before lifting her eyes to meet his,
and instantly their smiles grew wide. For a few seconds, neither could look
away, until finally, Eleanor found her voice. “Hello, William. I’m glad you
could make it.”

“The apocalypse couldn’t keep me away,” he said, leaning down
to place a soft kiss on her cheek. “You’re looking as beautiful as ever.”

“And you’re still telling tall tales,” she said, gesturing
for him to sit.

Sliding into the booth, he motioned for the waitress, and
after ordering a drink, he looked at the woman sitting across from him. It
didn’t matter that the auburn tresses which once had reached her waist in
shimmering waves had been replaced by a short, layered bob, or that a few more
laugh lines had been added by the passage of time. As far as Bill MacLeod was
concerned, Eleanor was still the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.

His thoughts were interrupted when the waitress returned with
his Scotch, and after quickly taking a sip, he said, “I was really glad you
suggested this, Ellie.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, actually...um...I was thinking about calling you.”

“Is that so?”

“I know we see each other at Nancy’s occasionally, but
there’s always so much going on over there. It’s hard to have a conversation
when all those children are running about.”

“Yes, they do get quite noisy at times, don’t they?”

“Was Laura like that?”

Smiling, Eleanor took a sip of wine. “Children make noise,
Bill. It’s a fact of life, and Laura made her fair share when she was that age.
She’d have tantrums when she didn’t get her way and scream her head off when a
balloon I told her to hold on to was let go, but it’s just something you learn
to deal with.”

“I never did.”

“You never tried.”

Bill’s mood turned somber. Staring at the drink in his hand,
almost a minute passed before he brought it to his lips to take a sip. Setting
the glass on the table, he lifted his eyes to meet Eleanor’s. “I should have.”

Eleanor cocked her head to the side and looked more closely
at the man who used to share her bed. His sandy hair was still as wavy as ever,
and his skin was just as tan, but the emerald of his eyes seemed somehow
brighter. And in that green of greens, Eleanor thought she saw a hint of
something she never thought she’d see again.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yes. Why?”

“I mean your health. You’re not dying of some dreaded
disease, are you?”

Bill laughed heartily. “No, still as healthy as ever, I’m
afraid, except for the occasional twinge in my back. Why do you ask?”

“Because I think you just admitted that you regret walking
away from us.”

“I do,” he said, hanging his head. “I should have been there
for you both…taken care of you.”

“You did your part.”

“Paying for Laura’s education is not what I’m talking about.”

“You paid for a hell of a lot more than that, and we both
know it. How that girl ever believed I could afford all those gifts is beyond
me, and when you had that car delivered on her eighteenth birthday, I almost
died.”

“Yeah, but it’s still just money, Ellie. I should have been
there to teach her how to ride a bike. I should have been there when she
skinned her knees and…and when she started dating. I should have been the one
standing at the door, threatening every boy who walked inside.”

Refusing to allow her amusement to show, Eleanor said, “Yes,
well I don’t think you need to worry about
that
any longer.”

“No, I suppose not,” Bill said. Emptying what remained in his
glass, he motioned for the waitress to bring another round.

Between the wine and the proximity of William MacLeod, the
pub seemed much warmer than when she had first walked inside. Removing her
blazer, Eleanor placed it aside. “That’s actually the reason I called you.
Something has happened, and I think you need to know—”

“Happened? Has something happened to Laura? Is she all
right?”

“Relax, William, she’s fine. Actually, she’s more than fine.”

“More than fine?”

“She’s in love…and engaged.”

“Engaged?” William said as his whole face spread into a
smile. “When did this happen?”

“A few days ago.”

“Wait. Why are
you
telling
me this? I know Laura doesn’t think of me as her father, but I would have
thought that this kind of announcement…well, that…that she’d—”

“She doesn’t know I’m telling you.”

William’s smile faded as his eyebrows became one. “Ellie,
what’s going on? What’s wrong?”

“There’s nothing wrong, William, but I fear that Laura may
need more than just me in her corner in the coming days, and I’m hoping that
you love our daughter as much as I think you do.”

“It seems I love her more every day,” he said quietly.

Reaching across the table, Eleanor touched his hand, praying
that the fair-minded man who had divorced her so many years before was still
the man sitting across from her.

“William, our Laura is in love…with a woman.”

Chapter Forty

“How did this happen?”

“It happened like it always does. Two people meet, fall in
love—”

“But a woman?”

“Yes, a woman.”

“Have you met her?”

“Of course I have.”

Leaning back into the booth, Bill MacLeod picked up his
Scotch and drank it down. Raking his fingers through his hair, he waited until
the burn of the alcohol subsided before asking, “And you’re all right with
this?”

“Yes, actually, I am.”

“A lot of parents wouldn’t be.”

“Does that include you?”

Hanging his head, Bill stared at the table top. “All I’ve
ever wanted was for Laura to be happy, but—”

“William, she is happy.”

“But a woman?”

“Since when did you become a homophobe?”

Bill jerked up his head. “I am no such thing!”

“Could have surprised me.”

“Jesus Christ, Ellie, this is a lot to take in. You of all people
know I’ve never been prejudiced against gays or anyone else. If Laura
is...well, if she’s gay, then so be it, but I need a bloody minute to wrap my
head around it. All right?”

“I’ll give you all the time you need,” Eleanor said. Picking
up her glass, she took a sip and waited.

A few minutes passed, and as Eleanor was about to order
another glass of Chardonnay, Bill broke the silence. “And she’s truly happy?”

“William, she positively glows when she’s with Toni.”

“Toni? That’s her name?”

“Yes. Toni Vaughn.”

Thinking for a moment, Bill said, “That’s a strong name. A
good name.”

Smiling, Eleanor squeezed his hand. “I know there’s a lot of
water under the blasted bridge where you and Laura are concerned, but I do hope
that one day our daughter realizes how much you love her.”

“I doubt she’ll ever give me that much time, Ellie, but as
long as she’s happy, I’m happy. If she needs someone else in her corner, you
can count me in.”

“Good,” she said. Noticing that the noise level in the pub
was continuing to rise as afternoon patrons ordered up their lager, Eleanor
glanced at her watch. “William, do you have any plans for dinner?”

“No. Why?”

“Well, there’s more I need to tell you, but this place is
getting a little too loud. I thought we might grab a bite somewhere, if that’s
okay with you?”

“I’d love to,” William said as he got to his feet. Holding
out his hand, as their fingers meshed, he said, “Lead the way.”

***

“I think I need a bigger car.”

Placing the last bag of gifts in the back seat, Toni shut the
door and walked around to stand with Laura at the rear of the car. Looking at
the overfilled boot, she shook her head. “I think you need to learn how to pack
less.”

After giving Toni the evil eye, Laura turned back to the pile
of suitcases. Grabbing a bag, she said, “I suppose I should just repack a few
of these.”

“Oh, no you don’t. You start doing that, and we’ll never get
out of here. Now, stand back and let me see what I can do.”

Standing off to the side, Laura watched as Toni shoved the
cases right and left, and with a heavy push, she slammed the lid of the boot.

Smiling at her accomplishment, Toni looked over at Laura. “I
recommend we don’t open this until Scotland or the bloody thing will projectile
vomit all over the motorway.”

Playfully slapping Toni’s arm, Laura set the alarm on the car
and then followed her partner back into the house. Catching up with Toni in the
kitchen, they both read over the list on the counter. Crossing off a few more
items, Toni said, “Okay, we need to water the plants, turn down the heat, check
all the doors and windows, grab the coffee flask, and then we should be good to
go.”

“Okay, I’ll check upstairs. You do down,” Laura said, running
up the stairs.

Quickly roaming from room to room, Toni did as asked, and
satisfied that everything was locked and bolted, she trotted up the stairs,
almost colliding with Laura as she exited the bedroom.

“Oh, sorry. You forget something?” Laura asked.

“Yes, I did,” Toni answered, pulling Laura into her arms.
Lowering her face, Toni kissed Laura full on the lips.

Coming up for air after a few minutes later, Laura asked,
“What was that for?”

“Consider it a bookmark.”

“Excuse me?”

“So, in two weeks when we return, I’ll remember where I left
off,” Toni said with a grin.

Tilting her head, Laura said, “What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m not going to make love to you in your mother’s
house.”

“Why not?”

“Laura, be real. It’s your
mother’s
home, and I doubt she wants to hear her daughter screaming out instructions in
the middle of the night.”

“I do not scream.”

“Yes, you very well do, and you know it.”

Thinking for a moment, Laura said, “I can be quiet.”

“Since when?”

“I’ve just never had a reason to. That’s all.”

“Laura, I love you and you know I love being with you, but
it’s not going to happen. I know you’ve said your mum is okay with our
relationship, but I have no intention of flaunting it, or…or making her
uncomfortable.”

“And what about what I want?”

“Darling, it’s only for two weeks.”

Pressing her lips together so as not to laugh, Laura grabbed
Toni’s hand and led her into the bedroom. Kicking off her shoes, she turned
around and commanded, “Fuck me.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard.”

“Laura, the car is packed. The windows are locked
and…and...and this is ridiculous,” Toni said, watching as Laura stepped out of
her jeans.

“If I can remain quiet, not scream, as you put it, then we
make love in Scotland. If I make a sound,
one
bloody sound, I won’t touch you or try to do anything to change your mind.”

Toni thought she was prepared to argue more, but when Laura
tossed her sweater aside, revealing a bra of red lace, Toni’s brown eyes turned
black with desire.

Aware she now had Toni’s full attention Laura took a step in
her direction. “Sweetheart, there’s no way you’re not going to take me up on
this, and we both know it. Now, where do you want me? The bed, the floor, or
right here where I stand?”

***

Standing in the doorway, he watched in silence as she busied
herself at the counter. Dressed only in his shirt, she looked as she did
decades before, and his heart skipped a beat.

“Did you find them?” she asked, noticing him standing a few
feet away.

“Sorry, Ellie. I looked everywhere.”

“Shit,” Eleanor said, looking around the room.

“Don’t worry. They’ll show up.” Noticing that Eleanor seemed
to be distracted, Bill asked, “What’s wrong?”

“What? Oh…oh, nothing, I’m just trying to think of what I
need to do before they get here.”

“Well, I already tidied the lounge and bedroom, so cross that
off your list.”

Raising an eyebrow, Eleanor asked, “When did you become so
domestic?”

“Times change, Ellie.”

“Speaking of time, you had better get out of here so I can
get ready.”

“I would, except someone is wearing my shirt.”

Quickly looking down, Eleanor sighed. “Sorry. Bad habit, I
guess.”

As far as William was concerned, it was the best habit, and
one he was thankful hadn’t changed. Without saying a word, he followed Eleanor
down the hallway to her bedroom, all the while staring at her bottom.

“I’m afraid it’s a bit wrinkled,” she said, quickly
unbuttoning the Oxford.

“So am I,” Bill said with a grin.

Snickering, Eleanor looked in his direction. Although
approaching his fifty-sixth birthday, the years spent at sea had kept his body
lean and muscled, and while the blond hair covering his chest had begun to turn
gray, he was still as handsome as he had been on their wedding day. Aware of
the moistness forming between her legs, Eleanor lowered her eyes, and seeing
the bulge in his trousers, she happily sighed. Watching as he took a step in
her direction, she said, “William, we don’t have time for this.”

“I know,” he said. Pushing the shirt from her body, he
lowered his head and covered a taut nipple with his mouth.

Cheerfully resigned to the fact they were about to make love
again, Eleanor moved to the bed. Lying across the duvet, she watched as he
stepped out of his trousers.

“William…” she said as she opened her legs.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“We really do need to make this fast.”

Pulling Eleanor to the edge of the bed, Bill smirked. “Let’s
hope they’re running late.”

***

“I hope you’re satisfied,” Toni said in a huff.

Glancing at her passenger, Laura smiled. “More than
satisfied, actually.”

“We’re going to be late!”

“Only about an hour. No worries.” Hearing Toni huff again,
Laura laughed. “You
really
don’t like losing a
bet, do you?”

“It wasn’t a bet, and you didn’t play fair!”

“I most certainly did.”

“Oh, no, you didn’t. Between all the shopping, wrapping and
packing, we haven’t made love since Sunday night, and you know perfectly well
how I get when it’s been that long.”

“This coming from a woman who thought she could do without
for two weeks,” Laura said, shaking her head. “Honestly, Toni, what in the
world were you thinking?”

“I was trying to be considerate.”

“To whom?”

“To your mother, of course.”

“Sweetheart, my mother knows we’re having sex.”

“You told her!”

“Of course.”

“What!”

“Toni, what the hell has gotten into you? You were sitting
right next to me when I called her and told her about our engagement. Did you
honestly believe that she thought our relationship was platonic?”

“Oh…um…no, I suppose not.”

“You’re
really
nervous,
aren’t you?”

“I’m trying not to be, but I haven’t yet been able to master
calm
.”

“You’ll be fine. We’ve been there before, and you like my
mum. Don’t you?”

“Yeah…yeah, I do. She’s great.”

“That, she is.”

“Why didn’t she ever get married again? I mean, she’s
attractive and smart. I would have thought some bloke would have snatched her
up by now.”

“I think she prefers being single.”

“Really?”

“She’s dated a few men over the years, but none of them
stayed around for very long. She’s never said, but I think she just didn’t want
to get hurt again.”

“You’re talking about when your dad walked out.”

“Yeah.”

“Speaking of your father, I’m assuming I’m going to meet him
this trip?”

“Apparently, you are, although it wasn’t my idea.”

“What do you mean?”

“I wasn’t going to make any extra effort, but Mum believes he
has the right to meet you before the rest of the family, so she texted me this
morning to tell me she invited him over for dinner tonight.”

When Toni didn’t respond, Laura looked over, and seeing that
she had paled by at least one shade, Laura reached over and squeezed her knee.
“It’ll be okay, Toni. If you get uncomfortable, I’ll ask him to leave.”

“It’s not him I’m worried about.”

“No?”

“I just realized that I’ve been so wrapped up in worrying
about meeting your family, I totally forgot the fact that even if they don’t
have an issue with me…they may have an issue with
us
.”

***

Standing in front of the mirror, she moved a few errant
strands of hair off her forehead and chuckled at her reflection. A quick shower
had erased the scent of sex, but it had done little to erase her rosy cheeks,
and it had absolutely no effect on the smile gracing her face.

When they had left the pub, Eleanor’s first thought had been
to find a quiet restaurant where they could enjoy a meal while she spoke of
Toni Vaughn, but as they looked up and down the street, a thought came into her
head…and out of her mouth.

An hour later, they returned to her house, and over plates
filled with Italian take-away, Eleanor explained the enigma who was now their
daughter’s fiancée. At first, hearing that the woman had spent time in prison,
the hairs on William’s neck stood on end. Clenching his fists, it was all he
could do to control his temper, and seeing his green eyes darken, just as
Laura’s did whenever she got angry, Eleanor reached over and squeezed his hand.
In a voice soft and filled with love, she began to tell him all she knew about
the woman who held their daughter’s heart in her hand.

There was no one William trusted more than Eleanor, and over
the next hour or so as she spoke of the damaged woman who loved his daughter,
he felt his heart begin to open. Eleanor talked of the woman’s strengths and
frailties, of her intelligence and humor, but most of all she spoke of Toni’s
love for Laura. By the time their bellies were filled and their wineglasses
were empty, William and Eleanor were in agreement. Their daughter had fallen in
love with an amazing woman.

After dinner, banished from the kitchen while Eleanor made
some coffee, Bill returned to the lounge and looked at the photographs around
the room. Walking to the mantle, he touched the silver frame which held a
picture of a baby wrapped in a blanket, and his eyes filled with tears. He had
missed so much.

For three decades, he had sailed the seas, feeling the sun on
his skin and the taste of salt in his mouth. It was the life he had chosen, but
as the years slipped by, he realized he had chosen poorly. He had brought women
to his bed when the need was great, but they had never heated his blood with
just a look, nor made him groan with satisfaction from just one kiss.

Sniffling back a tear, he turned as Eleanor walked into the
room, and gazing at one another, both lost the ability to speak. It had been
years since they had been alone. Years since they could talk without family or
friends getting in the way and up until now, it was what they both wanted.
Divorce may have ended their marriage, but nothing could erase their love.