Gastien Pt 1 (42 page)

It is very hard for anyone to experience the kind of wealth that Gastien was getting used to and not become a slave to it. When you add in the fact that he had been homeless, this made the money even more addictive. Gastien was becoming very hard edged. He no longer thought in terms of kindness at all. He only thought about what he could get from people before they got something from him. It was an ugly period of his life. It would get even uglier before he left Jean Luc’s estate.

Gastien found that he liked to taunt Jean Luc with his body. He felt that if he gave Jean Luc exactly what he was asking for, a good performance, Jean Luc would eventually tire of him. Perhaps then the man would not come to him so often. However, he wanted him to come to him often enough to keep the money coming.

He learned to use his tongue wickedly all over Jean Luc’s body, inciting him to new levels of need. He had always been an expert kisser, now he used that expertise on Jean Luc’s mouth, which set Jean Luc on fire. Gastien found that he did not even need to spit into the toilet paper anymore after servicing Jean Luc. The taste no longer bothered him. It was the taste of money. What Gastien failed to realize is that using sex for power is like handling a loaded gun, and soon that gun was going to go off.

On Gastien’s days off, he would swing from one extreme to another. Sometimes he would go to the 6
th
and indulge in heavy drinking and hashish, other times he would drink lightly and involve himself in sex with various upper class women. The more women he could have, the better he felt. It was a way to prove that he was not in any way a homosexual.

He began to talk the women into threesomes, and sometimes foursomes, always with him as the only male. His lovemaking with these women was anything but. Gastien became quite brutal during the sex act, not caring how hard he used the women. He pounded into them as many times as he could get it up. He used them every way he could think of. Most didn’t complain, because he also rewarded them with his tongue. The few that didn’t like it simply made sure they stayed out of his way in the future. In spite of this, his reputation as a lover grew. Being seen as dangerous seemed to be an aphrodisiac to the bored women of wealth. He would come back to the estate sexually drained but feeling very empty. He never understood why.

Other times during his time off he would see no one. During these times the real Gastien came back to the surface. He would go into the heart of the city to paint, eat somewhere alone where no one knew him, and come home to go to sleep early. Sometimes, he simply read all day. Rarely did he go without painting, but a few times he simply lost himself in a novel. His body and his mind wanted a rest. Gastien did not let that rest last long. If the real Gastien was out for any length of time he could not stand the anguish. After a couple of days off like that, he would disassociate again.

Then, after a week of Jean Luc, Gastien would be hell-bent to get back to the 6
th
and abusing his body with more sex, but with women. If Mic or Nath would have first met him during these times, they would have been sickened by the person he now was. Although he did not realize it, Gastien was heading for a breakdown.

He did still write to Nath, but never confided in her about Jean Luc. She could sense he was holding something back, but she felt that he would tell her if he wanted her to know. Also, she was busy in her new life. Gastien simply could not be her problem. She cared, but she could not care enough that she got hurt again.

One weekend while visiting Montmartre, Mic asked Gastien what was wrong.

“Nothing!” snapped Gastien. Ashamed, he added, “Sorry. Why would anything be wrong?”

Mic looked worried. “Gastien, you have changed. You are so hard now! So driven to make sure you drink the most, get the highest, brag the most about your conquests in Paris. What is going on with you?”

Gastien got angry again. “Mic, I am coming here to have fun! We all drink and smoke hashish, including you! Why do you want to make something out of nothing? I am just able to drink more, I guess.”

Mic sighed. “But that’s the problem. You aren’t able to. You are so drunk by the end of the night you wouldn’t find your way home without someone helping you back to our studio. You usually pass out when you get back, only to start over again the next day. You don’t even remember what you did the night before! We don’t talk enough to catch up on what is going on in our lives. For you, it is all about getting as messed up as possible as quickly as possible!”

“Stay out of my business, Mic,” growled Gastien.

“Gastien, please…I am your best friend!” pleaded Mic.

“And if you want to stay that way, then drop it!”

“I can’t! Something wrong is going on! I want to know what it is.”

“I SAID DROP IT!” yelled Gastien. “DO YOU UNDERSTAND? END OF SUBJECT!”

Mic backed down then, but the rest of the weekend was strained. When they said goodbye, Gastien apologized. “Mic, I am sorry. I won’t be this way once I move here. I am going through a tough time.”

Mic embraced him. “Just try to find the old Gaz back ok? I miss him a lot.”

Gastien smiled sadly. “I miss him, too.” He turned and got on the
cabriolet
.

But, of course, he remained the same. He had to in order to get through the spring and summer. It was mid April now, and he would be done with Annah’s portrait by the end of the month. They had become lovers at the beginning of April. Gastien had hesitated, stating that he did not want to be around if she got pregnant and Jean Luc found out. Annah insisted that if she did, she would not show, anyway, the first trimester. Annah wanted another child. She was 34, almost too old. She wanted just one more to hold in her arms. Since she could not get one from Jean Luc, she would be happy if Gastien did indeed impregnate her.

“What could Jean Luc say if he did find out, Gastien?” she scoffed. “Stop it, because I am screwing Gastien, so you can’t? He would not dare! He does not want to take the chance that the truth would come out if he angered me.”

Gastien had turned white. “What did you say he did to me?” he asked coldly.

“I said he screws you. Does it surprise you that I can be crude?” she inquired, not knowing what really bothered Gastien.

“
Non
, I could care less about that. However, I want you to know that Jean Luc does not, and will not ever “screw” me. Never! I just never realized that you would, of course, assume that.”

Annah looked surprised. “You mean he pays you all of that money, yet has never had your sweet little
cul
?”

Gastien blanched. “
Non
, he has not! No man ever will! I use my mouth on him. That is all.”

Annah laughed loudly. “Oh, poor Jean Luc! He must be totally besotted with you then. Imagine, paying all of that money and not getting free reign! Either he is completely crazy, or you have a very talented tongue.”

Gastien smiled at her. “Come here and I will show you what I can do with my tongue,” he teased.

They became lovers that same day. Afterward, Annah realized that Gastien was right. He had a very talented tongue. She had to agree that Jean Luc was quite likely getting his money’s worth.

As mid May approached, things seemed to be going along fine. Unknown by Gastien, however, there was a problem. Jean Luc was not growing tired of Gastien. In fact, the opposite was happening. He was now completely obsessed with the young man. He had even started bragging to other homosexuals he had recently met about how talented Gastien was, how handsome. He knew they were jealous, but he could not stop talking about him.
Mon Dieu
, he lived and breathed that man!

The best thing was, he was sure that Gastien now felt the same way. The way he kissed, the way he used his tongue, the sexy things he said, all indicated to Jean Luc’s convoluted mind that Gastien had moved beyond playing a part and was as deeply involved as he was. He understood Gastien’s hesitation to express it. He would probably be shy about being seen around Paris on Jean Luc’s arm, because he had never admitted to being homosexual. It would be hard for him.

Then Jean Luc thought of the answer. Brilliant! He would buy a month at Nice on the Riviera! That was somewhere that the two of them could be alone night and day. If they chose to go out at night, there would be many wealthy homosexuals with their flames around. It was a favorite haunt of theirs. Gastien could feel “normal” there with Jean Luc. They would cement their relationship in Nice, making plans for their future. Annah would be hurt, but he would make sure she was financially well taken care of. He could then start the rest of his life with his true love. His Gastien.

Jean Luc made the travel arrangements, sparing no expense. He would have nothing but the best for his lover. He could not wait to get home to tell Gastien about it! After eating dinner quickly, Jean Luc hurried down to Gastien’s door. He knew it was early. Gastien would not be expecting him yet. That was just fine. Gastien did not have to be in his smoking jacket to hear about the fabulous surprise!

Gastien had just finished eating dinner. He was really looking forward to doing some painting. When he heard Jean Luc calling to him outside the door, he was irritated.
Mon Dieu
, what is he doing here so early, Gastien thought. He never shows up right after dinner, unless he wants to just talk or play chess. Sighing, Gastien went to the door.

“Jean Luc! I am not in the mood for chess or talking tonight. I am so sorry. I really, really want to paint. Can you forgive me?” Gastien tried to keep his voice even. It was getting tedious always being under Jean Luc’s beck and call.

Jean Luc could hardly contain his excitement. “Oh, Gastien, I have a wonderful surprise for you! Please, let me come in. You won’t be disappointed.”

Gastien thought the man was going to piss himself. He tried not to laugh at the ridiculous sight of Jean Luc prancing up and down. “Well, in that case, you better come in for a moment.” With any luck, it would be another piece of jewelry he could sell. “Would you like a glass of
vin
?” He knew he should be polite to the man who paid him so dearly, although he hated to offer. It would take more time.

“
Oui
!
Oui
, some
vin
to celebrate!” Jean Luc entered and kissed Gastien on the lips. Gastien quickly moved back.

“Stop it, Jean Luc! We aren’t having sex.” He suddenly stopped. “Are we?” Please God,
non
. Not tonight.

“Gastien, don’t be so stuffy! Surely a little kiss from me won’t hurt. I imagine you may want sex after hearing what I have to say!” Jean Luc beamed.

Really, Gastien could not help nastily thinking, are you going to say that you brought me a woman? He wisely kept that thought to himself. “Well, what is it, then? You have me curious.” Curious how any person could act like such a fool over another person… Gastien smiled wickedly.

“Oh! You know what you do to me when you smile like that! Don’t start, or I will forget about the surprise!”

“Well, actually I was relieved that you had not mentioned wanting to see me tonight. I am feeling quite nauseated today. You could possibly come down with something. I hate to disappoint you,” Gastien lied. Sweet Jesus, just give me the surprise, and then let me paint in peace!

Jean Luc pulled out two tickets from his vest. “Look! Look, Gastien! I have decided to purchase two tickets on the train to go to Nice for a month. We leave next Tuesday!”

“You and Annah? That will make her very happy.” Gastien smiled, then thought, and me, even more so. A whole month without being bothered! Imagine! “I hope you will still be paying me while you are gone. This is your decision, not mine, you know.”

Jean Luc was practically dancing now. “
Non
! I mean
non
, not Annah. You, Gastien! You and I are going to Nice for a month!”

Gastien looked at him like he was crazy. “Whatever for? I can’t start the family portrait if we are in Nice. I won’t have enough time to finish it when we get back. And why would we go to Nice together in the first place?”

Jean Luc happily tried to pull Gastien along with him to the couch. Gastien reluctantly followed. Sitting down, Jean Luc gushed, “Gastien, I know how hard this transition has been for you. I imagine that you are probably feeling some shame and embarrassment of being found out. We can be alone in Nice, build our relationship as a couple. I know you love me. I also know that it is normal to feel afraid. Nice is the perfect place to learn to accept who you are!” He leaned forward to kiss Gastien again.

Gastien jumped back up. “You think of us as a couple?” He threw back his head, laughing cruelly. “
Mon Dieu
! Are you delusional? We have a business deal! Sex for money! How does that transform into being a couple?”

Jean Luc was confused. Didn’t Gastien want to be with him? He had been so sure!

“Gastien, surely you have feelings for me. The way you have been kissing me, the way you make love to me….no one could act that well! Don’t be afraid. You can tell me.” Jean Luc stood and put his arms around Gastien.

Gastien felt sick. This was not supposed to happen! What in hell was he supposed to do now? He removed himself from Jean Luc’s arms.

“Look, Jean Luc. You have gotten too caught up in the fantasy. You told me I needed to play my part well, so I have. That is all it is to me. A business contract, remember? Money for sex and I play the whore. I am sorry, but that is all.”

Jean Luc was stunned at first. Then he became angry. “Do you mean to tell me that all of that deep kissing, all of those soulful looks, all of the hints for jewelry, all of it was just a job to you? Are you that mercenary?”

Gastien was angry now, too. “I was not mercenary until you forced me to be, Jean Luc! You asked me to do something that is against every cell in my body! I needed the money to get my dream. I thought I made that clear.”

“So, you are really nothing but a high priced whore, then? Is that what you are telling me? That I have been fooled?” Jean Luc was trembling.