Garden of Serenity (14 page)

A lanky man with ebony skin greeted Brenimyn. “I’m glad you made it, dear friend.” He shook Brenimyn’s hand, even as he wrapped a muscular arm around him and pulled him into a tight embrace, smiling over at her. “And this must be the honorable, Jahara.”

“Sebastian, this is the woman I’ve told you about.”

“Brenimyn didn’t mention your beauty.” Sebastian leaned in and kissed her cheek. “The man keeps his secrets well.”

Brenimyn cleared his throat. “Sebastian, I’m worried about the time.” Brenimyn looked up to the sky, shielding his eyes from the bright light washing over them. “It’s getting late. Perhaps we should get started.”

“Don’t be foolish, there’s still time to relax. People can wait.” Sebastian waved his hand and the gathering crowd dissipated, leaving the three of them standing in relative solitude on the warm sand. “And there are still others who have yet to arrive. Word traveled fast throughout the Garden. There’ll be a large crowd today.” He seemed suddenly serious. “But we’ve been careful not to raise suspicions.”

“I anticipated that would be the case.” Brenimyn drew a deep breath and rubbed his palms down his thighs. “Perhaps Jahara and I will take some private time.” His eyes darted about the scene, studying everything but her.

“One must have priorities, Brenimyn.” Sebastian’s unwavering gaze swept Jahara from head to toe. “Go find a quiet spot to enjoy your midday meal.”

“It was a long ride. A quick bite, perhaps. We should start the meeting before the sun reaches its zenith. There’s much to do today.”

“And still plenty of time, Brenimyn. Don’t rush. Perhaps you’ll take this opportunity to relax and give yourself completely to this beautiful creature. You have too much self-control for your own good.”

Brenimyn choked and Sebastian slapped him on the back. The deep roll of the man’s laugh relaxed Jahara, even as Brenimyn seemed to bristle at his words.

“Sebastian, isn’t there some business you must attend to before the gathering?”

“What needs to be done involves you also.”

“Then let’s get to it. My meal can wait.” Bren looked to Jahara for confirmation.

“I’m not that hungry. Go do whatever it is. I can wait.”

“Perhaps we could get it done quickly.” Sebastian waved his hand in the direction of a group of men gathered on the edge of the lake. “I won’t keep him long,” Sebastian called over his shoulder.

Jahara searched for someone to talk with. A squeal from the grass captured her attention. A pregnant woman collided into the arms of a man on the beach. They kissed passionately and the man’s pleasure at her arrival was immediately apparent to anyone near. Jahara turned away, not wanting to witness the intimacy of their reunion.

“Jahara.”

Jahara was relieved to see Ishawny approaching.

“Jahara, I’m so glad to see you.” She kissed Jahara’s cheeks. “I thought you’d contact me to schedule another breeding session, but Brenimyn told me you’ve been quite ill. I’ve been worried.”

“Brenimyn told you
I
was ill?” Confusion furrowed her brow and colored her cheeks. What other lies had the man been spreading? “I thought—”

“Ohhh …” Ishawny nodded in understanding. “
That
kind of sick. Don’t be ashamed, Jahara. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” She leaned in close and lowered her voice. “Many first-time breeders develop a sickness that can last until their first menstruation.” She winked.

The guide misunderstood the color in her face. “No, I—”

“Really you don’t need to explain it to me. As a guide, I’ve seen it all. I’m just happy it wasn’t my services that displeased you.”

Jahara laid her hand gently on Ishawny’s arm. “No, you were wonderful. It’s Brenimyn who’s left much to be desired.”

“Yes, well if that’s the case, my partner is also here if you would like our services before the gathering.”

Brenimyn loped away from the group to join them. “Ladies.” He greeted the breeding guide with kisses on her cheeks. “It’s good to see you, Ishawny.”

“And you also, Brenimyn. I was just telling Jahara how well she looks.”

“Yes, I’m happy to have her out. This is her first visit to the lake.” He snaked his arm around Jahara’s waist, pulling her close. “There are many enjoying their time, perhaps we should do the same?” He turned to Ishawny. “You’ll excuse us?”

“Of course, I must find my partner anyway. He was brokering some recreation for us as well.”

Brenimyn led Jahara away from the beach. “It’s going to be a busy afternoon. Perhaps we can find a quiet place to picnic away from the crowd?” He led her through the tall grass, avoiding the paths others had made. Sounds of lovers enjoying the warmth of the sun and each other filtered through the vegetation. The quiet spot she’d hoped to enjoy had become a public forum for copulation. Though cameras were intrusive enough, being intimate with so many people milling about was completely out of the question.

Brenimyn found a quiet spot and tamped down the grass. Setting his pack aside, he took hers from her back, laid out first a blanket then the containers of food he’d brought. He pulled off his tunic, his skin glistening, emphasizing the fluid movements of his muscles. Jahara experienced no sense of arousal as she had on the ride through the jungle. Irritation mixed with confusion kept her from enjoying this time with him.

With a nervous smile, Brenimyn invited her to sit next to him.

It was then the dam holding her emotions broke. “Where on earth have you brought me?” She looked down at him, her hands fisted on her hips. “And for what purpose?”

“Jahara, please lower your voice.”

“My voice? There are people copulating everywhere.” She swept her arm in a wide arc. “They have no regard to privacy and you ask me to lower my voice? It doesn’t seem there are any secrets here at the lake. Except those
you
keep.” She pressed her thumbs to her eyes, trying to control the hurt and anger burning to be released. “Now I demand to know what’s going on here.” She forced the words out through clenched teach. “And you can start by explaining what Sebastian meant by giving yourself completely to me and why you told Ishawny I was ill? I want the truth this time or I will mount that horse and ride it all the way back to my residence.” She pointed a shaky finger at the beach. “Lying doesn’t suit you.”

He shot to his feet and stood over her, his eyes turning to hard shards of ice. “Lie to
you
, Jahara? You’re a fine one to talk. You speak of my deceit, yet all that has occupied your thoughts today is your precious Merenith and the commitment you made to her.” He lifted her hand and shook the ring in her face. “You speak of love only in the confines of our bedroom. You’ve made it quite clear that I am nothing more than a breeder to you.” Charged air vibrated through his lips. “The vision is all wrong.”

She wanted to defend herself, to tell him the thoughts had been private, but his statement about a vision had thrown her.

“I was so sure you were the one.” Brenimyn rubbed his fingers over the stubble on his chin. “But you’re like every other woman who’s chosen me. You want my life essence, not my love. Well, I’m glad I’ve kept that from you.”

“You said you loved me.” The words slid over her tongue with icy calm. “You don’t keep that from me …” The rest of his words slammed into her and stole her breath. “Your life essence? You deny me the very goal I thought bound us?” Understanding dawned. “I’m not pregnant because you don’t give that part of yourself to me?” The revelation stung. “You expect me to give everything to you,
trust me
, you said, mind, body and heart, yet the one thing that’s most important to me—
you withhold
?” His declaration had sliced her heart and she turned away for fear Brenimyn would see how his deception made her heart bleed.

“No.” Grabbing her, he spun her back to face him. “It’s not like that.”

“Not like what, Bren? Not like you pretended to be upset over the fact I hadn’t conceived? Not like you don’t trust me? Tell me, Bren. What is it then?”

His bitter laugh surprised them both. “Yeah, it’s all that, Jahara. Forgive me for not trusting you, but you haven’t exactly been an open book when it comes to your own feelings. You have no idea what I’ve been through. You don’t understand how I’ve been waiting for a vision from my youth to be fully realized.” The tension coiled in his muscles turned them to steel as he crossed his arms over his chest. “More than that … forgive my heart. I have loved you for so long, it’s clouded my thinking. You haven’t been able to admit you love me, yet you stand there, accusing me of duplicity? How could I trust you with my life essence? How could I trust you with my offspring? Perhaps it
is
best if you leave.” Pain banked in his eyes, but he stood his ground.

They had lied to each other. Both of them were culpable. Perhaps now was the time to end all the deceit. Perhaps this was the place to bear her soul and let go of the guilt about Merenith—about her uncertainty over him. It had all become such a burden over the past few weeks.

She reached for him, her tentative fingers grazing the arm crossed protectively over his shattered heart. His muscles flexed and his breath hissed through his teeth. She drew back, fearful he might explode from her touch. “It’s all just so confusing.” His shoulders relaxed. “You. This place. The strangers who know me.” Jahara paused, afraid to utter the word. “
Merenith
.”

Pain turned to misery in his eyes. He gathered her to him. “This isn’t confusing.” Brenimyn’s mouth devoured hers. The silk of his tongue parted her lips and plunged in to take possession of her. Her world spun as he scooped her into his arms.

Setting her on the blanket, he covered her body with his. She didn’t have time to think, no time—or desire—to fight him. The rest of the world melted away and there was only Brenimyn.

Kicking away his breeches, Brenimyn’s hands moved over her, all but ripping the clothes from her body. There was a desperate urgency in his touch she’d never experienced. His mouth and hands were everywhere, bringing her to a climax so fast and intense, she arched her back in wild abandon, writhing against the overwhelming assault.

Not giving her time to recover, he rolled her onto her stomach. In one hard thrust, he pushed himself into her. He held her hands above her head, pinning her to the ground and controlling the rhythm. With each push of his hips, he buried himself deeper, feeding her desperate hunger.

Flesh slapped against flesh. Breathing became labored moans of pleasure. Thoughts were focused solely on satiating the need burning through her veins. He’d never taken her with such a desperate need to love her, and she’d never felt so desired. Powerless against the onslaught of sensations, she anchored herself, letting Brenimyn carry them both into the mindless quake of elation.

Though Brenimyn shuddered in orgasm, Jahara knew he hadn’t given up his life essence and she understood now why he couldn’t surrender all of himself. When they’d drawn out the bliss to its end, he fell on top of her, his body comfortably heavy on her back. His heart pounded between her shoulder blades, his shaky breath hot on her cheek. Sliding off her, he let his head rest on her shoulder, his leg flung across hers. Brenimyn snuggled her closer. She was too spent to move off her stomach. In the last few weeks, she’d stopped waiting for the hollowness her intimate relationships had always brought. With this man there was only fulfillment and complete contentment.

“
That
, Jahara, is not a lie. I love you. It’s all you need to understand right now. The rest I will explain later.”

She found the energy to roll so they were stretched out, face-to-face. Cupping his cheek, she kissed him gently. “There’s so much we both need to talk about. Today, in this place, with the openness surrounding us, maybe we can let go and trust each other.” She wanted to say she loved him, but speaking those words in such a public place would confirm that her relationship with Merenith had truly ended—and Jahara wasn’t sure she was ready to make that leap into the unknown.

Chapter Ten

Standing on the rock ledge overlooking the crowd, Brenimyn didn’t need to count to know nearly two hundred had arrived. It was many more than he’d anticipated. Though he worried this gathering would attract the attention of the government, he couldn’t have asked any of them to leave. They had been waiting for this day far too long.

He looked down at Jahara lounging lazily against the stone face. The wind lifted the raven silk of her hair, toying with it, sending it fluttering about her face. He caressed her cheek in his mind. Jahara put her fingers to her face, her honey eyes so warm, he could almost feel the heat. She had only been with him for three weeks, yet he saw in that look an unconditional love he had never known before, even if she was unwilling to admit it herself. He gathered strength from that knowledge.

There was fear as well. Jahara attempted to camouflage it with a tremulous smile, but the nervousness surrounded her like a fog.

While they ate, he’d told her about his son and the incredible emptiness the loss had left in him. Brenimyn hadn’t given up his life essence when he’d made love to her, but she had known that was the case.

“I want to make babies with you, Jahara, truly I do. But I wasn’t sure you wouldn’t send them away. Another child taken from my arms would no doubt break me. But you’re the one I want to bear my children. Not one, but many. I want to love you over and over, and from our love, create offspring. I want to make a family with you. Not birth-siblings, but a real family unit.” He shook his head. “It’s so much for you to understand. I know that. I’m sorry I haven’t trusted you enough to tell you all of this. I wasn’t sure you were ready. It was unfair of me to keep it from you.”

He’d told her then of the prophecy. He’d shared with her the vision, his plans and her role in the battle that would begin this day.

She’d listened attentively, not interrupting, appearing unfazed by his revelations. But he understood she couldn’t possibly comprehend the enormity of all the information he’d divulged. Nor could she understand her responsibility in bringing about the new world order. He’d purposefully kept that part vague. His own stomach lurched at the immensity of the promise he’d made to the men and women who had laid their trust at his feet.